Absolutely Unforgivable (14 page)

After I sat back down the boys played a few more of their original songs and the crowd loved it. They really were amazing. One of two of them you could easily see being played on the radio. Just before their second set was about to end, again I went to the bar and grabbed the boys a bucket of beer.

Billy plopped down in the spot next to me, took a long neck beer from the bucket on the table and then leaned in to whisper in my ear, “You take good care of me”.

“Well someone has to,” I playfully bantered back.

Soon after an upbeat song came on the jukebox. After downing a shot Zander came around behind me and took me by the hand to dance with him. Travis and his harem soon followed. Zander was a really sweet guy. Always polite and well meaning. He was probably one of my favorite guys in the band, besides Billy of course.

After far, far too many drinks I somehow made my way to Billy’s car. The details of the walk to the car are a little fuzzy but I vaguely seem to recall Zander helping Billy carry me and gently place me in the passenger seat. Billy pulled a blanket out of his trunk and then put it over me, tucking me in tightly to make sure I stayed warm for the long drive home.

I don’t recall any of the drive back to The Woodlands but I do remember waking up just enough to know I was in Billy’s arms and he was carrying me to bed. After laying me on the bed he went and got a wet rag to put on my forehead. I must have been complaining to him that I was hot, as I began trying to rip off my clothes and get under the sheets.

I tossed and turned a bit before finally falling asleep but not before opening up my eyes just barely enough to see Billy still there, sitting on my bed, making sure I was okay and fully asleep before heading back to his own room, alone.

When I woke up the next morning I reached over to grab Jeromy’s chest as I did almost every morning. But he was not there. His side of the bed was exactly as it was the night before. He didn’t come home last night. I was terribly saddened by this revelation and couldn’t understand what would have possibly kept him away for so long.

He had told me countless times that his work was only a short drive from where we were living so why couldn’t he make it home after he finished doing whatever it was he was doing? Even if it was late.

Next my mind started to wander to thoughts of the night before, on how I had gotten home and of Billy putting me to bed. I had half convinced myself it was all just a crazy dream when I looked over on the nightstand and seen the rag he had placed on my head.

The rest of the band was out living the life of a rock star, partying it up after the gig but not Billy, he came home to be with me, to take care of me. His kindness overwhelmed my heart. He really was a good friend to Jeromy. I felt horrible about lusting after him so much before. I really need to find a way to control my feelings. But Billy made it so hard to resist him. He was so handsome and powerful to look at but it was his kindness that attracted me most. When you met Billy you couldn’t help but be drawn in by his looks, but he was more than just a pretty package. The more time you spent with him, the more you trusted him completely and saw what a truly caring person he really was.

As I pranced my way down the stairs I heard voices coming from the living room. “She is fucking off-limits man. What the fuck are you thinking? Consider that body a no fucking fly zone.”

I could hear Billy mumble something in response but I couldn’t tell what it was. Not wanting them to think I was spying on them, I purposely stepped louder on the last few steps so they knew I was coming. When I took a step in the kitchen I saw it was Travis that had been talking so loudly. I looked around to see his harem but they were nowhere to be found. I guess it was still too early for Darla and Starla to be out of bed yet.

Billy titled his head up and gave me his usual, “Hey.”

But Travis, on the other hand, didn’t know how to be so subtle. “Holy fuck, girl. You know how to make a good boy go bad.” He looked my body up and down as he spoke, making wide, animated gestures with his hands. While I had clothes on, Travis still had a way of making me feel like I was buck naked standing there with him in the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes at his rude comments, not even bothering to verbally address him. I wanted to say something to him about it, but I figured if I tried it would only encourage him to keep going so instead I stayed silent and walked over to Billy who was standing by the sink, leaning against the counter drinking coffee.

I looked over at the empty stove top behind him and turned back to Billy and gave him a frown. “No breakfast this morning?”

He looked up to me, “No, sorry. Been a little distracted this morning.”

I leaned into him and asked, “Want me to toast you a bagel?”

He didn’t look at me; he just kept looking down to the ground like he was deep in thought and shook his head “No.”

“Okay, your loss,” I said playfully as I walked over to the bread box and pulled out the bag of fresh bagels.

Just as I finished the last bite the rest of the band came into the house. They were loud and there was no mistaking their arrival. Today they seemed especially wound up. Billy and Travis went to join them and they headed to his studio.

Before I could give what had those boys so excited much thought, Kita walked into the room with my cell phone in her hand. “Miss Stacy, your phone has been buzzing all morning.” I wasn’t sure where I had left my cell phone the night before; but I was glad to have it back. I had become strangely dependent on the little thing. I had even started color coordinating my phone cases with my outfits.

I looked down at my phone and I saw I had quite a few missed calls and several text messages from Jeromy. I read through a few of them to see what reason Jeromy could have possibly given me for not coming home last night, but my phone rang before I could finish.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

I just grunted. I wasn’t going to let him off of the hook that easily.

“I know you are mad. Please don’t be, though. I couldn’t help it. It was so late when we finally wrapped up our meeting I just crashed here at the office.”

I sighed. I guess I could understand that. But still I missed him. “Why didn’t you call me?” I asked softly.

“Time just got away from me, baby. Before I knew it, it was already 3 am and I knew you were probably fast asleep and I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Will you be home tonight?”

“Yeah. I’m just finishing up here. I’ll be home in a few hours.”

When I hung up the phone I made my way back upstairs. With all the boys here in the house I thought I better find some actual clothes to put on. I didn’t mind prancing around the house in my nightclothes when it was just Billy and Jeromy here but with the rest of the band, I wasn’t so comfortable.

I decided that today I would try out my big fancy bathtub. Before now I had always just taken showers. I ran into Kita and asked her if she had any bubbles. She went off to find some and soon returned with bottle in hand. “Here, try this,” she said as she handed it to me.

After a nice, long bubble bath I found something to wear for the day; put my hair up in a ponytail on top of my head and with a light brush of makeup on my face, I made my way back downstairs.

Billy was in the kitchen again, leaning on his side against the wall with his hands in his pockets, while Kita made him a sandwich.

“Where are the boys?” I asked Billy as he took the first bite of his sandwich.

He shrugged and then looked toward his studio. “They are back there working on some stupid shit with Brick, I guess.”

Billy seemed tired and frustrated. I hated to see him look like that. It made me horribly sad and I just wanted to go up to him and comfort him, but before I could my phone started buzzing. It was Jeromy sending me a text message. “I see you’ve been having a good time while I have been away.”

“Umm I guess,” I texted him back. Not sure what he was talking about. Next came a link. I clicked it to see what video Jeromy had sent me. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open as the video started playing.

I had almost forgotten about the video we recorded the other day in Billy’s studio. It was all really innocent at the time but not so much after Brick did a little editing. Billy jumped up and stood behind me to look over my shoulder to see what had me so horrified.

The first thing I noticed was the song had changed. It was no longer Joan Jett’s
Bad Reputation
. He had dubbed another song over and now the song playing was Kid Rock’s
Cowboy
. It was strange how they could make it look like that was really the song we sang that day. I had to give him props for that.

Billy looked great for his part, singing the song. But when it came to the chorus, it flashed to me dancing erotically with the microphone stand. Then it flashed back to the other girls swaying back and forth, leaning into the microphone as if they were signing the words.

Oh God. I can’t believe I did that.
I wanted to turn away and stop watching but I just couldn’t. Billy put a hand on my shoulder and gently rubbed my neck. I threw my phone down on the table. I wanted to jump up and yell BRICK! YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT. But how could I? Brick didn’t grab the microphone stand and treat it like a stripper pole. That was all my doing. I had nobody to blame but myself. All Brick did was piece together different clips of my dance moves. Then again, that jackass did release it without talking to me first.

I folded my arms, put them the table, and laid my head down.

“It’s okay,” Billy said as he gently stroked my arm.

I didn’t look up; I just kept my head down on the table. “Apparently not.” I popped my head up, flipped through my phone to find the text message from Jeromy and showed Billy what he had said. Billy just laughed and told me I was overreacting; but I knew that I wasn’t. Jeromy wouldn’t have said something if he wasn’t mad.

I wonder if my parents would ever find this stupid video online. Surely they don’t hang out on YouTube very often searching my name, but just in case I better give them a call and warn them about it. That’s not a call I’m looking forward too at all. I don’t even know how I am going to explain this video to my mother.

Before I could continue to argue my point with Billy, my phone rang. It was Jeromy.

“Baby?”

“Yeah, I just ...” But I couldn’t finish. What could I possibly say to justify what I had done? While he was off working hard to take care of us, I was at home partying with his friends, acting like a whore.

I tried to hide the tremor in my voice as tears began to form and cloud my vision. “I’m so sorry, Jeromy. I didn’t mean to ....”

Before I could finish what I was trying to say, Jeromy broke in. “Oh baby, don’t be upset. I thought your dance was great. I loved every minute of it.

All I could think to say was, “Are you kidding me?”

“No. Really. I loved it. It was the hottest thing ever. You are so sexy. I love seeing you dance around like that, confident and seductive. I wished you would do it more often.”

I could hear every word of what he was saying but still I felt mortified by my behavior. That wasn’t like me. I’m not that kind of girl.

“Please, baby, it’s going to be okay. And hey, I’ll be home in about an hour to show you how much I’ve missed you.”

“Oh?” I perked up that he would be home soon.

“Listen, I want you to go upstairs and get fixed up in a pretty outfit. I am going to take you out to a late lunch.

“Okay ... but ....” I started to say, when he interrupted me, “I want you to meet someone special. Can you be ready in about an hour?”

“Yeah. Of course. Are you going to tell me who we are going to have lunch with?”

“My mother.”

My heart skipped a beat when he said those words. It took me a second to catch my breath but before I could speak he continued. “My mom’s home now from Virginia and she wants to finally meet you.”

When we first arrived, Jeromy’s mother had been away visiting Jeromy’s little brother Nathan, who was stationed in Virginia. He was serving his second term in the Navy. I was so nervous to meet his mother, but it was something I had wanted to do for a while now. I had spoken to her several times on the phone before over the past year, but this would be our first official meeting. She was always so sweet when we spoke on the phone. But still, she was Jeromy’s mother and I worried about what she would think of me after meeting in person.

Without remembering that Billy was standing right behind me, I just ran up the stairs after I hung up the phone with Jeromy. I ran to my closest to try and find something to wear. Worried that something might be wrong, Billy ran upstairs after me. He found me in my closet in a full blown panic attack, going through everything I had, desperately trying to find something appropriate to wear.

He leaned on the door frame. “You okay?”

I fell to my knees, on top of the pile of clothes at my feet with a tear in my eye. “Jeromy is going to be here in about an hour.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

I sighed. “No. It’s just he wants to take me to meet his mother and I don’t know what to wear.”

He stepped into the closet, coming closer to me. He put his hands on my chin and forced me to look up at him.