Absolution (3 page)

His fingers trailed from her scalp, down her
throat, and fell upon her breast. He cupped her, toying with her
nipple while he nibbled on her lip. Hot desire shot through her
blood, and she arched into his palm. When he cursed and pulled away
from her, she groaned.

Why the hell does he have to grow a
conscience
?

She bit her tongue, blocking any attempt to
call him back. He paced in front of her like he always did when he
felt frustrated. Maybe she needed to give it a try.

“I’m sorry, Eva. I shouldn’t have done
that.”

She sat up and touched her fingers to her
lips. Her emotions battled, each trying to get the upper hand.
Desire, rage, betrayal. They were all there. Including overwhelming
sadness. If only he hadn’t ruined everything…or she’d been
enough.

No, she couldn’t blame herself. She’d done
everything she could, tried her best to keep him happy. She
couldn’t be blamed for his indiscretions. She had no idea why he’d
done what he had, but she couldn’t be held at fault. Could she?

“Why?” she whispered. Terror gripped her and
made her knees shake. She had to know.

He paused in his pacing and faced her.
Confusion wrinkled his brow. “Why, what?”

“Why did you do it? Why did you sleep with
her?”

He sank to the chair closest to him. “I-I
found out—”

Knock, knock, knock
.

They both jerked and stared at the door.
Then, their eyes met. What had he been about to say? She’d mustered
up the courage to ask him the question that had eaten at her for
the past month and a half, asked and almost received an answer,
when someone had to go and ruin it.

Damn it.

How would she get the courage to ask again?
And did she even want to know the answer? She exhaled and stood up.
“Coming,” she called.

She took three steps toward the door but
stopped when Joseph grabbed her from behind and covered her mouth.
She gasped and fought his hold.

“Who is it?” His voice rang out loud and
clear in the apartment, and with sudden clarity, Eva realized who
had to be on the other side of the door.

Antonio, her hot date.

“Um, Antonio Soto. I’m looking for Eva. Is
she there?” His voice came muffled through the door, but she
recognized his soft accent even so.

Joseph pressed his lips to her ear, and his
hot breath made a shiver run down her spine. Oh, how she wanted
him.

“Is this your date?”

His hand still covered her mouth, so she
nodded. Reaching up, she caught his pinky and bent it. He snagged
her wrist with his free hand and held it down. Kicking back, she
lurched in his arms. When her foot made contact with his inner
thigh—a bit too far to the left, more’s the pity—he grumbled and
picked her up until her feet kicked without purchase in the
air.

Son of a bitch
.

“She’s occupied. Date’s off. Go away.”

Her heel connected with his shin, and he
laughed at her attempts to free herself, making her even more
furious than she had been. She growled through his fingers and
tried to yell. The pressure over her mouth increased, rendering her
silent.

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Antonio
questioned from the hallway. “Eva, are you in there? Are you
okay?”

Joseph whispered, “Tell him to go away, or
I’ll shoot him here and now. We have no clue who he works for or
what his motives are.”

Eva shook her head. He frowned, pulled her
arms free from between them, and spun her. Somehow, he managed to
keep his palm over her mouth. So, she jerked her head in an attempt
to get her message across. He removed his hand but kept it close
by.

Eva gulped in air and whispered, “He’s not a
killer. He’s a businessman. A good guy. Let me talk to him. He’ll
stay unless he sees I’m okay.”

Joseph sneered. “No deal. He might have a
gun.”

“Eva? Are you okay? Answer me, or I’m calling
the police.”

“Please, let me show him I’m all right. He’s
a decent guy.”

He grumbled something under his breath but
loosened his grip on her. “Fine, but make it quick.”

He kissed her hard before he released her.
She scowled at his liberties—while at the same time her heartbeat
accelerated.

“Stop kissing me!” she ordered. “I’m not
yours to do with as you please anymore.”

“Tell it to my body,” he mumbled.

He motioned her forward and followed on her
heels. She looked over her shoulder and saw him rest his hand on
his lower back. His Glock 22 was holstered there, loaded and ready
to fire at a moment’s notice.

Like always.

She took a soothing breath and unlocked the
deadbolt. When she swung the door open, Joseph stuck his foot out,
leaving a crack of only a few inches for her to speak through. That
was all he seemed willing to allow. She shot him a dirty look over
her shoulder and turned to Antonio with a smile. His gaze moved
first to her hair, which she had a sneaking suspicion appeared
mussed, to her swollen lips, and then landed on Joseph. Eva
faltered, realizing what it looked like they’d been doing. Ah,
hell, what they
had
been doing.
There goes the ‘he’s my
cousin’ excuse I’d wanted to use
.

“Antonio, this is Joseph. Joseph, Antonio.”
She didn’t bother to explain Joseph’s presence. It seemed pretty
self-explanatory. It didn’t stop her, however, from feeling like a
complete jerk. “We’ve known each other for years, and he stopped by
because he came to town.”

Antonio stepped forward, sticking his hand
through the small opening of the door, to shake Joseph’s hand. When
Joseph returned the gesture but placed his arm over Eva’s shoulder
instead of on his own damn body where it belonged, she groaned. The
message was clear. Joseph had claimed her as his, in male language.
She shrugged and tried to step away, but Joseph scooted closer and
threw his entire arm around her shoulders. His other hand, she
noted, remained on his gun.

She met Antonio’s gaze and noticed he’d been
watching the silent struggle with wide eyes. “Are you okay, Eva? If
this man is intruding, I can—”

Joseph tensed and pulled her closer. “The
intrusion, Antonio, is you. There isn’t room for a third wheel
here, so….” Joseph moved to slam the door shut in Antonio’s face,
but Eva snapped at his high-handed manner.

“Knock it off right now!” She pushed Joseph
back and stepped into the open space of the doorway to hide him
from Antonio’s view. “Look, Antonio, I know this looks bad, but
it’s not what it looks like. Joseph is an ex, who is having a hard
time separating the past from the present. There is nothing going
on between us, but I have to cancel our date. Something came up,
and he has to stay here for a while.”

“He seems to feel different. He looks like
he’s ready to kill me.”

“Because I am. Go the fuck away,” Joseph said
from behind the door.

She prayed his voice had been too low for
Antonio to make out the words, but if the tensing of his shoulder
gave any indication, he’d heard him.

“I think you should come with me, Eva. This
man seems to be a little on the unstable side, if you know what I
mean. How can you trust him?” Antonio glared at the door as if he
could see Joseph hovering behind it. “He might kidnap you or
something.”

“Oh, I don’t trust him. Not one bit.” She
glanced over her shoulder and saw Joseph’s fists tighten.

“Now, there’s the first smart thing I’ve
heard out of him so far. I should kidnap you. And have my way with
you while I’m at it.”

He fondled her ass and she slapped his hand
away, stomping her foot out of sheer frustration.

“Shut the hell up, already! I’m not yours,
and I won’t be.” She turned to Antonio. “I’m sorry, but he has to
stay. It’s a private matter, but he’s a…um…a friend of my
dad’s.”

Joseph scoffed behind her, and she scowled
even more.

“Well, I don’t like leaving you with him.” He
gestured at the door with his head. “I’ll help you do whatever you
two are doing. Just let me in.”

Joseph cursed and jerked Eva to his side,
stepping out from behind the door despite her protests. He stuck
his head in the doorway and said, “What we’re doing needs two
people. I’m not into any kinky shit. Now, get the fuck out of
here.” He slammed the door shut, locked it, and turned to Eva with
a smile. “There. He’s gone. You’re welcome.”

Eva stood in shock at Joseph’s barbaric ways.
He hadn’t been this bad before. He acted like he owned her
apartment. And her. She shoved him back against the door, not
minding the fact she stood five-foot-three with heels on versus his
six-foot-one barefoot, and jabbed a finger into his chest.

“You listen to me, jackass. I am not yours.
You lost me when you decided I couldn’t keep you happy in bed. You
gave up your right to speak for me and my feelings when you
stripped another woman in our bed. The same bed we’d made love in
mere hours before.”

His eyes darkened, and he hardened against
her as she plastered her body across his. Her nipples tightened at
his obvious arousal, but she forced her body’s demands to the back
of her mind. She tried instead to focus on the anger. It was safer,
by far.

“Eva, I never meant to hurt you. I’ve been
trying to tell you what happened that night for weeks now. I made a
bad choice. I found out—”

She held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear
your excuse. I don’t want to talk to you at all. I’m going to go
shower, and you’re gonna leave me the hell alone.”

She knew she contradicted herself. When his
explanation had been interrupted before, she’d fumed. But now? Now,
she didn’t want to hear him make excuses about why he had broken
her heart. It didn’t matter. He’d destroyed her trust, and nothing
would take the hurt away. Nothing would repair the empty hole he’d
left inside her.

“Eva. I’m not going to beg you, but you have
to at least hear me out.”

His eyes beseeched hers, and she ignored the
plea. He never begged, so part of her enjoyed the power. Mostly,
she feared his explanation—terrified she would forgive him and
they’d be in her bed by nine.

She shook her head. “I’m going to go shower.
Don’t follow me.”

He sat on the couch and leaned back with a
mock smile. “Yes, ma’am.”

He gestured her toward the bathroom, using a
superfluous motion of his hand, and reached for the television
remote. CNN, she’d bet. Or maybe one of the stupid gun shows he so
enjoyed.

He looked right at home, just as he would
have if nothing had ever split them up. She stared at him,
remembering how she used to bring him coffee on Sunday mornings,
and her heart twisted. He would sit on the couch, going over files
for work, and she would cuddle up next to him and grade papers.
Then, when they’d finished their first cup of coffee, he would cook
her breakfast.

She shook her head, forcing herself back to
the present. She headed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind
her. Then, for added safety, she locked the door, ensuring the
latch turned hard and loud.

Joseph watched Eva’s retreating back and
tried to ignore the pain in his chest as she ripped his heart out
and carried it away. He tossed the remote back onto the table,
giving up any pretenses of caring about what he wanted to watch. He
knew what he wanted to see—Eva naked in the shower, soapy and wet
with his hands on her body.

I’m such a fool
.

Just because she’d asked him why he’d cheated
on her didn’t mean he stood a chance at getting her back. She hated
him, and believed him to be a sick bastard—a monster who didn’t
give a damn about her or her feelings. Her body might still desire
him, but she would never admit it. She wouldn’t tell him how her
knees quivered every time he stepped close to her. He felt her
though.

He knew.

But he also knew she’d never let him in her
heart again, even though she still desired him. He’d ruined it
all.

He listened for the shower to start, and
about thirty seconds after it did, he hopped to his feet and strode
into her bedroom—what used to be
their
bedroom. Everything
looked the same but with one noticeable exception—there were no
longer pictures of the two of them anywhere. In fact, there were no
pictures at all.

He walked over to the bed and rubbed the
indent in her pillow. She didn’t roll, his Eva. She would lie down
and pass out as soon as her head hit the pillow. Always on her
right side. And he had held her, burying his face in her hair while
she slept. She’d smelled of cucumber melon after a shower, and to
this day, whenever he caught the scent of it, his heart skipped a
beat. He leaned down to inhale.

Yup, her pillow smells like her
.

His penis hardened while, at the same time,
his heart softened. If it worked the opposite way, his job would be
a hell of a lot easier.

Straightening, he advanced on the closet
where he’d kept his clothes. He swung the door open, and halted in
his tracks. She’d left the closet empty. She hadn’t even put any of
her clothes or shoes inside. The confines of the small closet
remained barren.

Like my life
.

Why hadn’t she put something inside? Was she
saving space for the next lover? His heart protested the very
thought of another man using
anything
in his place. His
closet. His woman.

Or—and he liked this option far better—had
she kept the space empty because it hurt too much to use the closet
which had once been his? Did she miss him? Perhaps still care for
him even a tiny bit?

The shower stopped, and he cursed. Dropping
to his knees, he pried the floorboard open in the back left corner.
The board came up without a fight, as it always had. Reaching
inside the cubbyhole hidden beneath, he held his breath until his
hand closed around the velvet box inside. He retrieved the case and
glanced over his shoulder to make sure Eva wasn’t out yet. She
usually took a long time to dry her hair, and he hoped that hadn’t
changed.