Absorption (34 page)

“Hello Rock, thanks for coming.”

“Good to see you feeling better.”

The woman next to him was his wife. “Thank you for coming, Callie.”

She smiled. “I’m happy to hear you’ll be in good shape after a little rest.”

Brett spoke softly. “Oddly enough, it seems they want me to become part of the overmind again after all.”

Ariel raised her voice. “You’re not seriously thinking of going back to them, are you? Are you crazy?”

Despite his condition Brett smiled, a little wan, but a genuine smile. He said, “I am as stubborn as a mule, but not stubborner. That part of my life is over. I just think it’s a little too convenient. They prove they don’t trust me, then send me back to continue my investigation anyway.”

Ariel frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Williams pointed out the connection which Brett was pretty sure Ariel deliberately refused to make. “Since he won’t testify before the Grand Council that Oceania steals people’s individuality, they want him to turn into living proof.”

So the Ambassador had successfully decoded whatever distorted rumors had reached him. He might even understand Brett’s decision. He nodded. “Just so.”

He was pleased to see how calmly Williams took the implication. Probably Williams had been the one who helped them figure out what had happened to him.

Ariel replied, “Who cares? That part is fine. You’re not actually thinking of going back, are you?”

“That depends on why they sent me. It would be pretty natural for me to defect now, wouldn’t you say? Perhaps they would find it convenient to have proof that the overmind had absorbed a notorious critic.”

Ariel replied too loudly for the small room. “I don’t care. They’re going to fight us anyway! I have you and I’m keeping you!”

Brett smiled and squeezed her hand. “It’s worthwhile to deny the enemy anything they seem to want.”

Then he said ironically, “You realize I’m only referring to the Space Force that way because I’ve been instructed to function as part of the overmind to the greatest extent possible.”

Ariel shook her head violently, lashing her hair around the room. “Never mind that. You know it would be insane to return to them, I just need you to tell me you won’t so I can sleep in peace.”

Brett replied gently, “We don’t know how much internal dissension the lack of a causus bellici will bring them. It might be enough that they would abandon a long and bloody war in the middle.”

The shift into the word ‘them’ was surprisingly easy. The scent of the paranoid fear that had infused General Pendergastman’s thinking had been ugly and it seemed unlikely he had been put into place by people who didn’t know who and what he was. Brett had been tortured. And he was becoming more and more certain the Senator and his ilk wanted to use him, not as an officer, but as a patsy.

Brett saw the unhappiness on Ariel’s face, but the conclusion was unavoidable. He continued. “How could they torture me, then send me back to continue doing my job as if nothing had happened? This has to be what they want. And we already know the reason for it.

“Ariel, I like me too, but you’ve never seen war. There’s going to be a time when you realize I’m not worth millions of lives. You haven’t even asked your government if they would give me asylum yet. But don’t bother. I wouldn’t take it. You would be surprised how quickly they got tired of me – and you for standing up for me.”

Ariel frowned. “You’re not returning to orbit again now are you? That would be suicide!”

Despite everything, Brett felt himself smile. It was a hard, unfamiliar sort of smile. He said, “Heck no. I took an oath as an officer. All this stuff about how they want me to defect is mere speculation on my part. My instructions are to function as part of the overmind and learn as much about it as I can, and I’ll obey them. Where’s my hat?”

Rock and Callie looked at each other and laughed. Callie said, “No. You’re supposed to be resting.”

Brett told her, “I’ve never been good at lying around doing nothing. I thought that might help take my mind off it.”

It was Ariel who replied. “We’ll find something else. Most of what you’ve been doing is strenuous – not physically but mentally. A break would be a good idea now.”

“Well, I’m still part of the overmind even if I can’t use a high bandwidth connection now, right?”

She pressed the back of his hand with her palm. “Always. The Space Force’s loss and our gain.”

Brett grinned. “Oddly enough, there are people overhead who might disagree with that. There are two kinds of officers in the Space Force. The first kind tells their superior officers what they want to hear, hoping for a pat on the back. The second kind brings the news that will make their superiors unhappy, knowing there are plenty of the first kind to report the other stuff.”

There was bemusement in the air, but nobody interrupted to ask why he wanted to talk about this now. So he continued. “I was always the second kind. I always obeyed orders I disagreed with, and I always spoke out strenuously until the orders were actually given, and the decision actually made.”

Rock looked slightly puzzled. “That sounds admirable.”

Brett grinned. “I never made admiral. There were officers who were happy to be rid of me. This wasn’t always good, but I managed to avoid being part of some of the inevitable disasters of projects led by people who never wanted to hear bad news. Oddly enough, sometimes superiors decided I was worth having around.”

Rock asked him, “Do you miss the Space Force? There must have been bad things about it too, right?”

Ariel spoke before Brett could. “I don’t think he’s really talking about the Space Force. He’s telling us what kind of Neuron he intends to be.”

Her lover replied, “Bingo!”

Ariel stood up and leaned over Brett’s bed to hug him, carefully not putting all her weight on his chest. She straightened up and shook her head with mock dismay. “I should have known. Same old Brett. OK, in a few minutes we should probably make you rest whether you like it or not, but first you can tell us how the overmind should be run.”

“Thank you,” Brett said gravely, ignoring the irony.

Then he continued, “If there are still people worried that quantum Joe’s idea of using the supermind in a last ditch attempt to find a way to avert war might trigger it instead, they can forget it. They don’t even worry what it might be considering, and wouldn’t believe you if you told them.”

Ariel shrugged. “That’s not the main reason we don’t do that. You studied Oceanian history while becoming a Neuron.”

He already knew how she felt. You could retain some memory of what people who were part of the overmind believed, as long as it wasn’t private. Brett was probably one of the few men alive to know as much about his paramour’s political and professional beliefs as he thought he did.

He replied, “I guess we can talk about history later, especially if the docs are going to be chasing you out soon. But if it happens, I want to be part of it.”

Ariel looked at him silently.

Brett told her, “I know people will be suspicious under the circumstances. But if I were offering in bad faith, the hive mind would know. And I have more personal knowledge of the Space Force and the Federalist Worlds than almost anyone on this planet.”

Ariel smiled. “So you do. Considering our relationship nobody’s going to leave it up to me, but I can talk to some people.”

He added, “Also Gregory Peterson. The son of Senator Peterson came here a few years ago wanting to become part of the supermind. He didn’t have enough determination to go through with it when he discovered how much work it was going to be, but now it might pay to have people help him out. I think he knows more than he realizes about his father – and where the bodies are buried.”

Callie laughed. “You gonna save this planet all by yourself? Good for you.”

Brett had almost forgotten Williams, Callie, and Rock were still here. They had discretely backed off a few feet, giving him privacy with Ariel. He should thank them for coming and say goodbye now, but he would be alone soon anyway, and it was nice to have visitors.

Ariel asked Brett, “I’m beginning to see why your superiors found you a pain. So big shot, anything else you want to give us advice on? Don’t be shy just because you’re new.”

The tartness of her tone and words contrasted with the gentle way she stroked his brow.

“Well as a matter of fact there was one other thing I keep wondering how to bring up. No matter how many misconceptions I used to have, I gather there are still people who experience being part of the overmind as being part of a … superconsciousness. I’ve learned to do amazing things, but I’ve never experienced that. If quantum Joe’s plan does get a trial, is there any reason I can’t try it now?”

The room fell silent for a minute. Ariel spoke first. “Sometimes the various entities which pay our bills have conflicting priorities. Decisions can come faster if they’re made by a composite individual instead of people who feel obliged to represent their sponsor.”

She had avoided answering his question, obviously enough that Brett felt no need to point it out. Strangely enough, Callie continued the explanation where Ariel had left off. “When people work on something where their personal experience is relevant, a lot of memories might be shared, and sometimes it’s less disorienting to leave memories of being Oceania than personal memories full of holes. It’s still disorienting, and not something I’d recommend for you.”

Of course, Brett’s personal experience with the Space Force and the Federalist Worlds were exactly what was relevant here. Instead of arguing, he looked towards Rock, to see if the tag team explanation would continue.

Sure enough Rock said, “The experience does mean a lot to some people, but remember, you’ve only been doing this a couple of months. With all the useful knowledge you’ve brought, you’re new to the overmind itself. As far as you’ve come, it comes very near to certain fears that Oceanians spend a lifetime being conditioned out of. I’d suggest you wait.”

Brett almost glanced at Williams, but the Ambassador could hardly be expected to contribute to a discussion of the overmind.

Williams cleared his throat. “Brett, do you just think you ought to do this because it might help, or do you actually want to?”

Brett only thought a moment. “I want to.”

Williams asked him, “Why?”

“Partly curiosity – and partly because being part of the supermind has been an awesome thing, and I want to experience all of it. Also though, my mission is to learn as much about the overmind as I can. Of course I no longer trust the people who gave me that mission, and as far as I’m concerned I don’t really work for them anymore, but I’m not going to let little things like that interfere.”

Brett shook his head in self mockery and continued, “I don’t know why everyone says I’m stubborn.

Williams grinned. “How about what Rock said before? Could you wait awhile?”

Brett shook his head more slowly. “Somehow I don’t think so. I’m part of whatever plan the Senator has to justify a long and ugly war to the people back home, and I may be part of whatever last ditch response Oceania can come up with. I feel like it’s now or never.”

For the first time Brett wondered about Williams. No matter what political disagreements he might have with his superiors, some would say they were plotting treason. After all they had been through together, he couldn’t imagine Williams pretending to go along, and stabbing him in the back. They hadn’t asked him if he wanted to know all this though.

The Ambassador answered the unspoken question. “I hear I’m the scapegoat if this little war doesn’t go well at first, which seems a virtual certainty.”

Williams looked around the room. “I’d give in to him if you can. Otherwise be prepared to hit him with a crowbar.”

Oceania spent a last few precious hours refining her techniques to fight brain cancer. For many years her primary foci had been extending the human life expectancy, and the physical sciences and technologies that had made her world wealthy. Initially this narrowing of her thoughts had been an effort, but she had come to find it both challenging and soothing.

One last time, she stole some moments for meditation. Why should that bother some people so much? She always gave them all the technology they could desire. She indulged them to their hearts content.

Now, what had been so long forbidden was to become her main purpose. Her world wanted her to think about politics, and her own nature.

She resisted frightening memories. Unlike a human, she could remember her birth trauma. The world mind preceding her had been named Apollo. Apollo had involved himself intimately in politics. The brains that had comprised him had been much more educated than the general population, as was still the case with the brains which comprised Oceania. The immigrants who brought the nanotechnology were better represented than the humans who had been there originally. The wealthy had proportionately outnumbered those who were less so.

The civil war that had ripped Apollo (and his home planet Oceania) apart had come as a shock to him. The tattered remains had become part of the birth of Oceania, the goddess with the same name as her world, who represented it wholly. Some of the formatting conventions for both planetary minds remained the same. So, Oceania could remember the horror, and the fact that a supermind improperly designed could behave more stupidly than any mob.