Authors: Nikki Sex
“I am in love—and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life.”
— D.H. Lawrence
~~~
Grant Wilkinson
“Really? You’d come and live with me? What about your psychology course?”
“Most of my study is done on-line. I can defer if I need to.”
Hope wells up within my heart. Having Renata there to help me with my nephew would do much more than simply solve Alex’s problems. My secrets don’t frighten her. I could keep talking to her. I could keep learning. I might figure out how to be a normal human being with Renata around, leading the way. And… I could see her
every
single day.
That thought makes so incredibly happy, I’m unable to speak.
We look at each other for a few intense moments in silence. Her blue eyes are bright and there’s a hint of mischief in her expression. I’m frowning because I still can’t believe it.
“But your vet job and your apartment?” I finally say. “Can you really drop everything? You’d do that
for me
?” I ask in utter disbelief.
“Sure,” she smirks. “I was a runaway living on the streets, remember? I don’t need much and I’m used to moving around.”
There’s so much love, happiness and hope welling up from deep within me. Renata says she loves babies. How lucky can I be? Having her help look after my nephew solves
everything.
Our eyes lock and there it is again—that incredible sense of connection. There’s a compelling energy between us. It’s a living, breathing thing that almost has a life of its own.
“I wouldn’t do this for just anyone, of course,” she says with a mischievous smile, “but I’ll make an exception for
you.
”
I’m so unbelievably happy! I find myself picking her up once more and swinging her up in the air, over and over again. We both laugh and I finally let her slide down through my hands.
She’s circled by me, embraced in my arms—God, I love the sensation of holding her. Renata’s arms curl around my neck, her hands run through my hair. Her long slender body presses deliciously against mine. I’m achingly hard for her and Renata knows it. My stiff erection is difficult to miss, but that’s OK.
I can hardly believe it. We want each other.
The persistent, lonely emptiness that’s haunted me as far back as I can remember, is gone. I’m not alone and I’m learning to like myself. Renata likes me, so I can’t be
that
bad.
This time when we kiss, I kiss her without reservation. It’s a passionate joining and sexy as hell. Her lips are soft, warm and smooth. She tastes and smells delicious. My heart beats double time as I push my tongue through her lips. I ardently explore her mouth and Renata joins the intimate dance.
Her breath catches—mine does, too.
The world disappears as we fall together. There’s only Renata and me—but I’m not sure where I start and where she begins—I feel that close to her.
I’m in love.
On the drive home, I park the car at a shopping center and tell Renata to wait just a moment. I leave the car running with the air on, so it stays cool.
I jog off into the mall where I find a flower shop and order a large bouquet. I don’t want anything as commonplace as red roses. She may have a boring streak similar to my own in terms of her taste in ice cream, but Renata’s far from ordinary.
I end up ordering a unique garden bouquet with purple and white alstroemeria lilies, green button poms, monte casino daisies, yellow sunflowers, a few pink roses and red tulips all set in an elegant clear glass vase.
Her eyes shine when I open the passenger door and hand them to her.
“Thank you so much, Grant. They’re beautiful,” she says, but she doesn’t seem at all surprised.
When I get back into the driver’s side of the car and sit down, she leans over and gives me a kiss on my scarred cheek. A rush of tingles flow down my spine from her touch. I don’t think I’ll ever get over her kissing or touching my scars.
And Renata’s smile? It could melt even the hardest heart.
“Thank you, again for these flowers,” she says warmly, smelling a rose. “I’ve had a lovely day.”
“You’re welcome,” I say with a smile. “My day was perfect. Did you know I was going to get you flowers?”
“Yes.”
I shoot her a questioning look.
“I knew you’d buy me flowers from the moment I told you how much I love them,” she says. “You made me happy then, and you’ve made me happy now.”
“I’m glad,” I say, and I really, truly am.
After Renata makes a call to check with André. I only hear one side of their discussion, but when she hangs up, she says her mentor is on board with our plans. Renata agrees to fly out with me first thing in the morning.
Finally
, my life is coming together. I think of all I’ve achieved over the last year. André and Renata have changed
everything.
I’ve never felt more hopeful for the future. And now Renata and I are going
home
together. She going to live with me and help me with Briley.
Euphoria swells inside of me; it’s hard to contain. I’ve never been so glad to be alive. Can life get any better than this? What’s really incredible is that I believe it will.
My cup runneth over.
I’ve heard psalm 23 so many times, but I’ve never
felt
it. It’s the idea that your cup in life is so full, it spills out and runs over. There’s an abundance of goodness and joy in every single person’s existence—because God isn’t stingy.
I’ve never believed in God, yet right now, I feel so grateful. If there
is
a God, my heart swells with the overwhelming desire to thank him.
I’ve made a deal with Renata. We promised to tell each other the stories of our abusive childhoods. We’re going to share our darkest secrets. I want to tell her everything. I know she’ll understand.
From this moment forward, I feel as if I’ve got a chance to start over.
Frowning, I remember.
There’s one secret I can never tell. Not to André. Not to Renata. Not to anyone.
It isn’t until much later, back in my hotel room, when I finally listen to a voicemail from my mother. Mother goes on and on about “a terrible scandal” and how she, “can’t bear it.” When I finally get through the nonsense, I discover she’s upset about a court order.
Apparently, our father’s body is being exhumed to test for drugs.
The sheriff has been tipped off from a “reliable informant.” Whoever it was, said dad’s death wasn’t accidental. The police now suspect he was murdered.
Fuck.
END OF BOOK ONE
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