Abyss (38 page)

Jacen flashed one of those crooked Solo grins. “Better,” he said. “I hope you remember what to do with that anger.”

“Ben has developed a few alternative techniques for that,” Luke said evenly. “But since we’re all being honest here, would you answer a question for me?”

Jacen kept his gaze fixed on Ben. “Why not?” he asked. “You
did
come a long way to ask it.”

Farther than you know
, thought Ben.

Luke merely smiled in gratitude. “I appreciate that.”

Ben thought his father was going to ask about the woman in the mist, or her relationship to the mental illness plaguing the Order’s Jedi Knights. He thought his father might possibly ask about whether she had somehow been responsible for corrupting Jacen himself, or even whether Darth Caedus had something to do with the problems currently troubling the Order.

Instead, Luke asked, “When you visited the Pool of Knowledge, who did you see sitting on the Throne of Balance?”

The yellow flash that briefly colored Jacen’s eyes betrayed his surprise. But his expression remained calm, becoming almost beatific. Ben realized this was a question Jacen
wanted
to answer, one that he had never expected to be asked.

Instead of replying, however, Jacen cocked a brow. “First, would you mind telling me who
you
saw?”

“Not at all,” Luke replied. “Allana, surrounded by a retinue of species from all across the galaxy. She looked quite happy.”

A smile of relief—or perhaps it was triumph—came to Jacen’s face. “Then it doesn’t matter
who
I saw,” he said. “But it wasn’t you … if, by chance,
that’s
what you were thinking.”

Their conversation was, of course, entirely lost on Ben. He had no more idea what the Throne of Balance was than he did the Pool of Knowledge. And to tell the truth, it all sounded like the kind of mind-boggling stuff that could lead a guy down a dark path before he realized he had stepped into a shadow.

But the relief in his father’s Force aura, Ben
did
understand—and he understood the gratitude, as well. And he was thankful to Jacen for those two things, even if nothing else.

Luke gave Jacen a wry smile, then inclined his head and said, “It wasn’t, but thanks.”

Had Ben not been so attuned to Luke’s Force aura, he would not have noticed that his father had just done something that he had believed his father never did. Luke Skywalker had lied.

Jacen returned Luke’s wry smile. “I didn’t think so.”

He closed his eyes and began to sink beneath the surface, and, suddenly, Ben realized he couldn’t let his cousin go like that—not if he wanted to keep the promise he had made to his mother.

“Jacen, wait,” he said.

Jacen opened his eyes and stopped sinking.

“I, uh, I just wanted you to know,” Ben said. “Jacen,
I
forgive you.”

Jacen returned to the surface so he could speak. “That’s good, Ben. It’s one burden you won’t have to carry through life. Go with the Force.”

“Thanks.” Ben was so surprised by the sincerity in Jacen’s voice that he almost didn’t know what to say. “You too, I guess.”

Jacen snorted in amusement. “Ben, I
am
with the Force.” He paused, as though waiting for Ben to say something else, then finally asked, “Isn’t there a question
you
wanted to ask me?”

“Well, yeah.” Ben glanced nervously toward the woman in the mist. While he wasn’t sure that his father would believe anything Jacen told them about the mysterious figure, the question seemed worth
asking. “But I didn’t want it to seem like I was trying to buy an answer.”

Jacen shook his head. “Ben, didn’t I just tell you to be honest with me?” He turned toward the Mists of Forgetfulness. “I wish I could help you, but I have no idea who that is.”

Ben’s heart sank. He half suspected Jacen was lying to him, but he saw no use in entertaining such bitter feelings. Either he had forgiven Jacen or he hadn’t, and it would be better for
him
if he had. At least he
thought
that was what his mother had been telling him.

“No problem, Jacen,” Ben said. “Have a peaceful … whatever.”

“Damnation,
” Jacen supplied. He turned toward the Mists of Forgetfulness, then added, “But Ben, if you really need to know who she is, the lake doesn’t stretch forever. Just keep walking—you have all the time in the universe.”

Ben scowled, certain now that Jacen was toying with him. “Thanks, Jacen.” He glanced toward his stubborn father. “That was bound to be a
big
help.”

Jacen gave him a cruel smirk. “Just choose and act, Ben.” He sank beneath the water again, his eyes turning a bright, burning white. “Choose and act.”

“Good advice,” Ben said. He watched until his cousin had sunk back beneath the water and closed his eyes again, then turned to his father. “Dad, I’ve just made a command decision. If Jacen tells us we have all the time in the universe—”

“We’re in trouble, I know.” Luke turned away from the mists, then waved Rhondi and their guides back toward the near end of the lake. “Let’s go home.”

“But what about the lady in the mists?” the Givin asked, moving to block their way. “You can’t leave before you know who she—”

“I know one thing.” Luke brought his hand up, planting his palm in the center of the Givin’s chest and using a Force-enhanced strike to send him flying out of their path. “It’s time to get back to the
Shadow.”

Strapped into the copilot’s seat of the
Millennium Falcon
in full vac suit and battle harness, Han’s granddaughter looked exactly like what she was: an eight-year-old girl at play. Her small boots barely reached past the edge of the seat, her helmeted head fell five centimeters short of the headrest, and her gray eyes were as big and round as casino chips. But she was also a child princess on her first real mission, an heiress in training for one of the toughest jobs in the galaxy—and that was the thing that tore at Han’s heart.

He and Leia had talked it over with Tenel Ka, and the Queen Mother had made it clear that any Hapan Chume’da needed to learn the ways of the galaxy early and well. But it just seemed so blasted unfair. How was Allana supposed to have a childhood? When did she get to be
just
a little girl? Thinking back on the three children he had given to the galaxy already—the two sons he had lost and the daughter he still
might
—Han knew the biggest mistake he had made lay in letting
them grow up too fast, in letting their destinies start pulling them away while they were still too young to vote.

And now here he was, under Tenel Ka’s orders to do it all again. He wasn’t sure if he had the strength to see it through—but he
did
know that he loved Allana too much to give it anything short of his best.

A
ready
tweedle sounded from the engineering socket at the rear of the flight deck, and then C-3PO announced, “Artoo reports that all hatches are sealed and all ship systems are functioning at optimal efficiency.”

“Optimal?”
Han asked, twisting around to look back at the two droids. “Did we board the wrong YT?”

C-3PO’s golden head tipped to one side. “I highly doubt that, Captain Solo. There are only a handful of these antiques still in service, and the odds of another one accidentally occupying the
Falcon’
s berth are—”

“Don’t tell me. Just have Artoo do a double check.” Han glanced over at Allana and winked. “Optimal
everything
just isn’t the
Falcon
.”

Artoo trilled a few notes, then C-3PO said, “It seems there’s a perfectly good explanation,” he said. “Before putting her plan into action, Mistress Jaina spent thirty-two hours fine-tuning the ship’s systems.”

Han knew it was her way of trying to make amends for keeping Jag’s secret—which only made his stomach churn that much harder. “Was
Jag
with her?”

A negative chirp came from R2-D2.

“Well, that’s something. At least we don’t have to check for those fancy eavesdropping bugs of his.” Han turned forward again, then glanced over at Allana. “You ready for the checklist?”

Allana nodded enthusiastically. But she did not direct her attention to the datapad in her lap.

“Grandpa, why are you still so mad at Jaina? She’s trying really hard to show you how sorry she is.”

Han sighed. “I know, sweetie. And I guess I’m not really mad
at
her. It’s more like I’m mad
for
her.”

“Because she’s in such a hard spot about Jag?”

“That’s …” Han paused, realizing he wasn’t being honest with Allana
because he wasn’t being honest with
himself
. “Maybe. I think it’s more because she still doesn’t know the kind of spot she’s in.”

“And being mad at her will change that?”

“Probably not,” Han admitted.

Allana furrowed her brow, and her crash helmet slid down so far that the rim almost covered her eyes. “Then why are you
doing
it, Grandpa?”

Han frowned. “You’re a lot like your grandmother, you know that?”

Allana smiled. “Really?”

Han let his chin drop in defeat. “Yeah, really,” he said. “Okay, if I
promise
to stop being mad at Jaina, can we get this bucket launched? Your grandmother is waiting on us, you know, and it’s a long way to Shedu Maad.”

“Especially with all those crazies on her ship.” Allana winced, then added, “Don’t tell Barv I said that, okay?”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Han said.

Allana nodded. “I know.” She picked up her datapad. “Ready to check off.”

“Finally.”
Han turned his attention back to the control panel, then started down the list that was as much a part of him as Allana herself. “Repulsorlift drives ready to engage?”

“Check.”

“Ion drives on standby?”

“Check.”

“Nav computer spooled up?”

“Check.”

And so they continued, until they had exhausted the list and Han knew the ship was ready to launch. But he didn’t stop there, because there was still something that Allana needed to learn about crazy capers, and it was his job to teach her.

“Barabels in the gun turrets?” Han asked.

Allana studied her datapad for a moment, then frowned. “Grandpa, that’s not on the list.”

“It’s not?” Han lifted his brow in mock surprise. “You sure?”

Allana shook her head and looked up, then saw his expression and realized he was putting her on. “Yeah, I’m
sure
.”

Han smiled. “But we still need them, right?”

Allana nodded, then thought for a moment and reached out to touch the intercom button on her seat. “Dordi, Zal—are you in the turrets?”

The confirmations came so quick that the Barabels were almost transmitting over each other. “Dordi on the back …”

“And Zal in the belly.”

The report ended in a fit of hysterical sissing that left Allana frowning at the speaker. “Did I say something funny?”

“Nope. They’re just Barabels,” Han told her.

During the war against the Yuuzhan Vong, Dordi and Zal had been adolescent pilots in Saba Sebatyne’s all-Jedi Wild Knights squadron. Now that they had finally reached adulthood, there was talk of them starting a nest with Saba’s son, Tesar.

Han thought of a Temple overrun by dozens of voracious Barabel younglings, then smiled and added,
“Nobody
really gets Barabels.”

Allana’s eyes lit with comprehension. “So, it’s like after we saved Kessel, when you and Lando sat down with all that Gizer—”

“Yeah, it’s kind of like that,” Han said, not wanting to know how much of
that
conversation she had overhead. “What about Wilyem?”

Allana depressed her intercom button again. “Wilyem, are you—”

“Yessss,” the Barabel’s raspy voice answered. “Wilyem in the tail.”

Another fit of sissing erupted over the intercom speakers.

This time, Allana merely shook her head and asked, “Grandpa, are you sure we need them?”

Han feigned disappointment. “What’s the first thing you do on a job?”

Allana smiled confidently. “Find the tracking beacons!”

“
That
comes later,” Han said, shaking his head. “It’s the first rule of
escape
.” He tapped the control panel. “I mean before we even board the ship.”

“Oh, yeah,” Allana said. “Make sure you have the right crew for the job.”

“And what kind of job are we pulling?”

“A crazy one.” Allana’s eyes brightened with pride. “And that’s why you wanted Barabels.”

“Exactly,” Han said. “When you need crazy—”

“—call a Barabel,” Allana finished. “Got it.”

“You’re a quick learner, kid.” Though Han meant it sincerely, his pride carried with it a note of sorrow. She would
need
to learn fast, because everything that fate had demanded of his own growing children would also be demanded of her … and perhaps more. He turned away so Allana wouldn’t see him choking down the lump in his throat, then checked a gauge. Then he grinned at her and said, “Okay. Maybe you’d better let your grandmother and Saba know we’re ready to get out of here.”