Read Academic Assassins Online
Authors: Clay McLeod Chapman
What was my right hand learning?
E. coli.
Electromagnetic radiation.
Endocrine system.
“No one loves you more than I do, Spencer. Not even your own mother. She cannot help you now. Is that understood? I am all that you have in this world.”
I started to breathe through my nose. Beads of sweat pebbled my temples. The grandfather clock chiseled away at my ears.
Come on, Spence, don't think about the pain don't think about the pain don'tâ
My arms gave out. The encyclopedias dropped to the floor with a
THWOMP
.
Merridew side-glanced at the books, her nostrils flaring as if she had spotted a pile of doggie doo-doo left behind. “Did I say you could put those down?” She brought up her C.R.U.
Her thumb hovered above the red button. “Pick them up.”
I flopped my hands on one of the encyclopedias. My fingers slid over the cover. My hands felt like ropey strands of burning Play-Doh, loose and useless.
“Are you disobeying me, Mr. Pendleton?”
My fingers could barely wrap around the encyclopedia's spine. I managed to pinch the book between my wrists and squeeze. It lifted an inch off the ground.
Almost there.
Two inches.
The encyclopedia suddenly slipped from my grip and fell to the floor.
Merridew shook her head, then pressed the button and instantly I felt as if I was strung along an electric fence
electric wire electric collar electric slide electric blue electric fence
electric wire electric collar electric slide electric
DON'T LEAVE ME MOM DON'T GO I LOVE YOU PLEASE
I can't stop the flood of thoughts in my brain I can't get off
this electric fence electric wire electric collar electric slide electric blue electric fence electric wire electric collar electric slide
and my body slumped to the ground as soon as she
released the button, twitching like a fish out of water. There was an intense pain deep within my guts. I felt like I was going to be sick any second.
Glancing up, I found an out-of-focus Merridew staring back down at me. “I will break you, Mr. Pendleton,” she cooed. “And then I will
rebuild
you.”
Some kind of raspy sound reached out from my mouth as I muttered, “Give it your best shotâ¦.”
I could've sworn her lips pulled back to her ears. Her smile knew no bounds.
“That is the spirit,” she said. “I so look forward to taking that spirit and stretching it to the very limits of human endurance. Then I will stretch it even further, and
further, until you
snap
. I want to hear you beg for mercy, Spencer.
Mercy
. Is that understood?”
“Gee, Miss Merridew,” I strained. “If that's all you wanted, all you had to do was ask nicelyâ¦.”
I limped out of Merridew's office. I had a horrible thirst, the shocks sapping all the saliva from my mouth. The back of my neck throbbed with a dull ache.
At the end of the day, Merridew clocks out and reenters the world outside of these cinder block walls. She heads back to her house to sleep in her own bed.
She washes the day away.
This was just a job for herâ¦.
But this was our home.
We lived here. Twenty-four-seven. The world was no longer round for us antsâbut a box. Four cinder block walls that barricaded us from the rest of society.
She should try living here for a change, I thought. I'd like to see how long she would last at Kesey.
“Special delivery,” Sully whispered over my shoulder as she slipped a ratty paperback under my armpit. “Know what'll happen if you get caught reading that?”
“Worth a shotâ¦.”
“Worth a shock
is more like it,” she whispered. “Eight hundred milliamps worth of electroconvulsive therapy coming your way.”
“Some books are worth it.”
“If anyone asks, you didn't get it from meâ¦.”
I turned to say something, mouth openâonly to realize Sully was already long gone. That girl sure could move like the wind when she wanted to.
I kept the book tucked in my armpit until I had stumbled back to the library.
Peter Pan.
It was dog-eared and dusty. The pages felt brittle under my fingers, curling at the edges. I cracked it open and took a deep whiff, inhaling that old book smell that I loved so muchâbetter
than any brand of asthma medication I'd ever taken before.
Time to get reading.
Nobody saw Merridew for hours. Not until that evening. She paid us ants a surprise visit while we stood in line for headcount.
Babyface stepped up next to me. “Nice job on the gardening,” he said. “You should go into the landscaping business.”
“I just might.”
“Word is Merridew ordered the Peer Facilitators to pull up her flowers. You believe that?”
I could. She would rather uproot every last one of her prized poinsettias than live with the tainted arrangement a moment longer. That had to sting. I'm sure Buttercup obliged with
flower-stomping aplomb. I could picture her tugging up all those poinsettias, clumps of dirt still clinging to their roots, and lobbing fistfuls of flowers into the air, scraps of red leaves
drifting down as if it were snowing blood.
“Soâare you trying to get yourself sent to solitary or what?”
“Nah,” I said with a sigh. “I just want to see how many of Merridew's buttons I can push.”
“I think you might've just found her self-destruct button.”
I laughed. “You're a lot like me, you know that?”
“Only better-looking.”
“That mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble if you're not careful.”
“Look who's talking,” Babyface said. “You're Patient X for Foot-In-Mouth disease.”
Walking along the Yellow Brick Road, Merridew took in every last one of us with her placid mask. Mouth pinched shut. She breathed evenly through her nose.
“Horticulture Hour is suspended indefinitely until further notice,” Merridew broke the news as she strutted down the line. “Until such time that we feel we can place our trust
back in you, no resident will be allowed outside. Is that understood?”
“
She loves us
,” I said just as Merridew passed. “
She loves us notâ¦.
”
Merridew halted, shoulders tensed, like a bear trap about to snap off her own head. She spun on her heels and scanned the row of ants until her eyes settled on me. “Mr. Pendleton.”
Her mothball breath spread over my face. “Pick a resident.”
The invitation threw me off guard.
“Go on,” she encouraged. “Pick.”
I turned and looked down the row. I didn't like where this was heading.
“Are you disobeying me?”
“What if I am?”
“Then I will pick for you.” Merridew's cold stare settled on Babyface. “
You
.”
Babyface turned his head to look behind him, then turned back to Merridew. He pointed at himself and askedâ“Who?
Me?
”
“I am sure you have heard other residents mention our Solitary Housing Unit, Mr. Pendleton,” she announced loud enough for the entire line to hear. “Solitary is reserved for
children who have been deemed beyond our control, beyond all hope of reclamation.” She pointed at Babyface. “You have secured your friend a visitâ¦.”
Babyface took a step back, slowly shaking his head. “No⦔ His foot left the yellow line. “I'm not goingâ”
Babyface was suddenly on his knees, clutching his collar, grimacing at the surge of electricity. I turned to find Grayson digging his thumb into his remote.
“He didn't do anything and you know it,” I said as I lunged for Babyface before he could fall off the Yellow Brick Road.
“I believe being an associate of yours, Mr. Pendleton, is reason enough,” Merridew suggested.
“So send me to the Black Hole.”
Merridew glowed, her cheeks flushed pink. She shook her head,
tsk-tsk
ing me with her tongue against her teeth. “What good are you to me in solitary?” she asked. “I need
you amongst the other residents, where I can make an example out of you.”
“I am not going to be your poster boy,” I seethed. “Go find someone else.”
“But you already are, Mr. Pendleton,” Merridew said as she nodded to Grayson. “Send that one to solitary.”
Babyface pushed off from me and started swinging his arms through the air. He looked like a scrawny whirligig defending himself against the encroaching Men in White, screaming, “Get away
from me! Get away!”
Grayson jolted him with another shock. His spine arched backwards, teeth chattering. It only took three seconds to send him falling to the floor, out cold.
“It was me,” I said. “I did it. There. Are you happy? I pulled up your stupid flowers!”
A look of glee played across Merridew's face. “Thank you for claiming responsibility for your actions, Mr. Pendleton. But I am afraid you are too lateâ¦.”
“Please,” I begged. “Don't do this. Not to himâ¦.”
Merridew leaned forward until her chin nearly touched my shoulder. Her lips hovered just next to my ear.
“You crushed my poinsettias,” she whispered, “now I will crush you.”
B
abyface was gone and there was no one else to blame but me.
He's just a kid, I thought to myself. Babyface is harmless. What did he do to deserve getting tossed into solitary like he was a piece of trash?
That's easy. He was your friend, Spencerâ¦.
Staring at my distorted reflection in my pod's steel latrine, I suddenly saw myself as the monstrous miscreant all these adults told me I actually was.
This is your fault, Spencer. Babyface is in the Black Hole because of you.
You.
I have hurt people. Lots of people. People I could've considered friends.
What kind of friend am I if I keep dragging the people closest to me into a vortex of my own chaos?
How many people have I inadvertently hurt?
How many more are going to end up as collateral damage in my one-man war against Merridew?
I gripped the edge of the latrine and closed my eyes. I could feel my pulse picking up, my heart punching against the inside of my chest.
You need to make this right, Spencer.
You need to get Babyface back.
You need to stop Merridew.
But how?
Simple. It begins with a bookâ¦.
The first rule of Book Club is that there is no Book Club.
The second rule of Book Club isâ¦
THERE IS NO BOOK CLUB.
I spread the word that the Academic Assassins would be meeting in the library. Anyone could attend. Other tribes welcome. Free punch and pie.
Only two ants showed up.
So much for solidarity.
Table Scrap was first inâand he only came after I got down on my hands and knees and begged. He leaned against the stacks in the far back, bored before we even began. Mickey and Minnie
scurried up his arms and onto the shelves, pouncing on a dusty copy of
Mimi's First Thanksgiving
and nibbling on its cover.
“You can come closer, you know,” I suggested. “These books don't bite.”
“I'll stick by the door if that's alright,” he said. “Just in case the Men in White crash the party.”
“I'm on library detail now,” I said. “Trust me, we're safe here.”
“Tell that to Babyface.”
That cut deep. But Scrap was right. How could anyone trust me now?
A Screaming Mimi followed him in. It was unclear whether she had actually received the invitation or was simply skipping her work detail.
“I was told there'd be pie,” the Mimi peeped.
“Later,” I said and waited another minute. Just in case anyone else might show up.
So far, no Sully.
“Guess it's time to bring this meeting to order,” I said with a sigh. “The first official gathering of the Academic Assassins is now in sessionâ¦.”
“Is it Story Hour?” Table Scrap asked. “You gonna read us a fairy tale?”
“What if I did?”
He leaned his head on the shelf and closed his eyes. “Tuck me in when you're done.”
“Keep your eyes shut for all I care,” I said. “That's exactly how Merridew wants youânice and blind.”
Scrap stepped forward, gripping his fists. “You calling me blind?”
“I'm calling you a casualty,” I said. “All of us are. Every last ant. Because, when you get down to itâwhat's Merridew to us?”
“A granny-gone-rogue?” Table Scrap suggested. “A senior-citizen-psycho?”
The Mimi raised her hand. “Mimi always saysââ
Listen to your elders, as they have seen more and lived longer than you
,'” the disciple of doggy-dumbassery said.
“Merridew is a bully,” I said. “The worst kind.”
“She ain't demanding our lunch money or anything,” Table Scrap said.