Accent Hussy (It Had 2 B U) (10 page)

“Everly!” my mom yells. “Excuse her rude behavior girls. She’s been visited by her monthly friend.”

My mom strongly grips my shoulders and ushers me to the counter where we are supposed to check in. When I look over my shoulder, bad dye-job is chattering away with her friends subconsciously staring at a lock of her hair.
Yup, that’s right, sweetie. Orange is not the new blonde.

She glares at me when she notices me staring and flips me off. I return the gesture, whole-heartedly basking in the exchange of silent words between us. My mom flicks me hard right on the ear.

“Ow Mom, what the heck?”

“Stop cussing in sign language and give the woman your ID. I swear, I can’t take you anywhere, Everly. You’re like a magnet for trouble.”

“What can I say? Those bitches annoyed me.”

“Or could it be that you’re a little territorial over penises. They made one mention of that fighter guy and your claws were out and scratching.” My mom makes a sound like a hissing cat, causing me to laugh. “I thought you didn’t like the guy,” she questions.

“I don’t like him. I loathe him.”

“Aww, that’s so cute. It’s like you’ve reverted to the third grade again. You’re one step away from pushing him in the mud and kicking him in the nuts.”

“Bobby Flannigan deserved it! He pulled my pigtail!” I yell a little too loudly, drawing some interesting looks from the people around us. “He didn’t have nuts anyway; they hadn’t dropped yet.”

“I doubt they ever did after you got done with him. Poor guy is testicle-less now.”

“I probably did the world a favor. Bobby Flannigan liked to flick his boogers. People like that don’t function well in society.”

My mom and the lady helping us chuckle. It’s the truth; Bobby Flannigan flicked boogers like a pro-athlete. He once flicked a booger so far it landed on the white board. True story.

After check-in, sexy Maddox appears from out of nowhere. His smile says it all. He’s as attracted to me as I am to him. “Let me help you with those, Beautiful.” I’m not as attracted to American accents as I am foreign, but today’s not the day to be picky about accents. His Bostonian one shall do for now. Maddox grabs my bags again and personally escorts me to the elevator. All of my family and Max’s friends crowd into the elevator with him.

The hotel couldn’t book us all rooms on the same floor, especially since Max and Breezy are staying in a honeymoon suite, so my room is on floor fourteen while everyone else’s are on different floors. Floor six, my mom and dad get off. Maddox helps them with their bags and tells me to hold the elevator for him. The other six passengers turn to look at me, each with the same expression of shocked amusement. I shrug my shoulders.

“You just had to find the only guy in the hotel with an accent, huh?” Max teases.

“My radar went haywire. There’s no turning it off when it hones in on an accent.” I pull Maddox’s accent off perfectly. Everyone in the elevator erupts in laughter.

“Damn, Everly, that’s some party trick,” Dashawn exclaims.

“My sister is a magician when it comes to throwing her voice. Too bad it’s never been used to my advantage.”

As the doors to the elevator start to close, I stick my foot out keeping it open. “How would you use my accents to your advantage?”

“I dunno, maybe when I played hooky at school, you could’ve posed as a teacher or something.”

“Right, mom would recognize my voice within ten seconds. Nope, I’ll save my accent copying ways for the moments I need them.”

“To pretend to be something you’re not?” Max asks.

“To get me a man, and I’m pretty sure I found him in this hotel.”

“Bellboy? Please tell me you aren’t going to ask him to service you.”

“Let’s just say I plan on having him lift more than my bags when we get to my room.” I wink at my brother making him laugh.

Max smiles and hands me a five-dollar bill.

“What’s this for?”

“A tip, for when you can’t afford his fees.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, completely dumbfounded.

“You’ll see.” Dashawn, Max, and Tony all start laughing at the same time. I’m not sure why having the hots for the bellboy is so funny to them. Maggie and Emma are laughing, too. It’s like everyone in this elevator is in on some big secret, and I have no idea what’s going on.

Breezy pats me on the back and smiles. “Don’t worry, Everly. Let’s just say that Max had this trip planned out completely.”

“Yeah, I’m sure Maddox will have no problem
escorting
you to your room.”

This makes everyone in the elevator laugh even harder. I still don’t see what’s so funny, but I ignore them when I see the hot piece of man-candy turn the corner. I might as well be wearing edible underwear with the way his smile dissolves my panties.

Max is practically keeling over because he’s laughing so hard. Breezy punches him in the gut, but that only makes him clutch his stomach more. Nobody is telling me what’s going on. I’m getting a little annoyed being the butt of everyone’s inside joke. After Emma, Tony, Dashawn and Maggie all get off on floor number nine, I nervously steal a glance at the sexy bellhop to see if he’s looking at me. He grins when I catch his gaze and my cheeks flush. The elevator comes to stop on floor fourteen, making my stomach bottom to my feet.

I’m not sure why going to my room with this bellhop is making me nervous. Maybe it’s because he looks like sex on a stick, and I just want to gobble him all up, or it could be that every time he smiles at me, my pussy starts hyperventilating. It’s quivering and clenching like a fucking cat hacking up a hairball right now.

“You two kids play nice,” Max shouts from the elevator just before the door closes. He misses the not-so-friendly gesture I throw his way, but Maddox notices and laughs.

“That must be your brother,” he remarks, barely breaking a sweat as we make our way down the hallway. He lifts my bags like they are made of paper.

“I think he’s adopted. Or maybe I’m adopted. One of us has to be adopted.”

He laughs again. I notice I tiny scar on his lips. It creases when he laughs.

“Sounds like you two don’t get along too well.”

“Oh no, we get along just fine. He’s a Neanderthal; I’m pretty sure genetics did me more favors than him. Or I’m adopted, like I said. One of us has to be.” I start rambling when I’m nervous. Mr. Sexy bellhop has my ramblings on fast forward. If I talked any faster, I’m pretty sure my lips might just fall off.

“Here’s your room,” he says, settling in front of the door. I nervously fiddle with the key. He’s standing so close to me that his breath caresses the tiny little hairs on the back of my neck. Once I get the door open, he follows me inside. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. It’s not like he’s going to make a move on me. He’s a bellhop, for god’s sake. They’re supposed to be nice to people.

He places my bags on the floor and just stands there smiling at me.

“What?” I nibble on my lip. Somehow, lip nibbling calms me down.

“You’re beautiful,” he exclaims, taking a step towards me. “I hope I’m not too forward, but maybe we can get dinner or something tonight. You look like you’re rocking it solo here in Vegas and that makes me sad. A girl who looks like you should not be in Vegas alone.” He takes another step towards me and runs his lotion-kissed hands across my forearms. He has a predator look in his eyes. My normal confident self retreats like a doe that’s being hunted. “This is so unprofessional of me, but ever since I saw those lips of yours, I’ve been dying to taste them.”

Before I can stop him, sexy bellhop’s lips attack mine. When I say attack, I mean he has my bottom lip sucked into his mouth and between his teeth before I can even react to him. I want to push him off, but I haven’t been kissed like this in a month.

When his left hand snakes up my shirt and presses against my skin, I freeze. Cool metal hits my skin. I pull away from him, completely disgusted with myself. Why didn’t I notice his ring before?

“What’s wrong, Baby?” He asks. Suddenly that sex oozing off him has turned straight up pervy. Maddox is married, and he was just about to fondle my breasts.

I wipe my mouth off and glare at him. “You’re fucking married,” I yell, pointing to his hand.

“Is that a problem?”
Ugh, he doesn’t see the problem in this equation. One plus one does not equal three!

“Yes! That’s low and disgusting. I can’t believe you would make out with some random female when you’re rocking a gold band around your finger. What would your wife think?”

“My wife works at the Chicken Ranch. It’s not like she isn’t putting herself out there either. I work hard for my tips, Sweetheart.”

I just kissed hooker lips. If his wife is a prostitute, there’s no telling where his lips have been.
Tips my ass. I’ll give him a tip.

“Here’s a tip for you. Don’t kiss women who aren’t your wife.”

“I kiss women all the time, it’s my job. Well, my second job. I’m an escort when I’m not working here.”

“Escort! This just keeps getting better and better. Not only are you a cheating bastard, you’re a prostitute married to a prostitute.”

He only laughs. I can’t believe he thinks this is funny. I have one major rule when it comes to making out with strangers. NO RING! This guy broke my cardinal rule.

“Thanks for helping me with my bags, but you can take that weak Boston accent of yours and hit the road, Jack. The only tip you’re getting from me is my heel straight up your ass if you get within ten inches of my lips again.”

“Suit yourself, Dear. My mistake, I should’ve known better than to try to help a homely girl get some attention. Next time, I’ll stick to my cougars.”

“You do that. Don’t let the door hit that well-muscled ass of yours on the way out. I wouldn’t want you to ruin your moneymaker.”

“That’s my dick, but a girl like you could never afford me. I guess that’s why your brother foot the bill.” He pulls a hundred from his pocket, waves it in front of my eyes and winks at me before turning to leave the room.

“Trust me, my pocketbook has better things to buy than secondhand slut cock.”

He laughs again as he exits the room. I slam the door behind him, holding my chest. If he stayed in the room one more second, I was going to go full psycho Everly on his ass. I can’t believe my brother tried to buy me an escort. That bastard. If it wasn’t his wedding day tomorrow, I’d be heading up to that suite of his to give him a piece of mind. Instead, I pull out my cell phone and text him.

Me: You’re seriously dead, Max.

Max: BAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Don’t laugh, you tried to buy me a hooker!

Max: You looked lonely. Besides, they call them escorts here.

Me: You need a hobby. I can’t believe you bought me a male prostitute. I’m not that desperate. I can find a man on my own.

Max: I only paid him to fake an accent for you. He said he could only do a Bostonian one. If anything, I paid a hundred dollars for the cheap Boston accent. I can’t believe you fell for it. How’s that hook . . . er taste, Fish?”

Me: Screw you, Max.

Max: Lol. Goodbye my dear little sister. Next time I buy you an escort, I’ll make sure to get my money’s worth.

Me: Next time I’m kicking you in the balls. This is your get out of jail free card. Any more hookers and you’re gonna be singing like a canary.

Max: Dually noted. Love you little sister. Welcome to Vegas.

Me: Kiss it . . .

Me:

It took me a good two minutes before I found the perfect donkey picture. Jackass! He texts me back with an LOL. I can’t believe he’s not taking me seriously here. I throw my phone across the room, making my way over to the window. Below me, I can see the entire Vegas strip. I guess I’m supposed to be in awe of this view, but as I look out on the sea of pedestrians below me, all I can think is . . . if this is what Vegas has to offer me, then Vegas can go fuck itself.