Sam went to Mel’s side. “Rape?”
The nurse shrugged. “Until she can wake up and tell us if she had rough, consensual sex or not. We’ll hold the kit in case we need to turn it over to the police so she can press charges later.”
“Thank you,” Travis told the nurse.
She nodded and walked out.
Travis pulled the two chairs in the room next to her bed. “She looks pretty good, considering. Rape is… Wow. Not something I’d considered.”
Sam didn’t seem to want to talk about it. “She looked pale and clammy earlier. God, Trav, I thought she was dead when we arrived, and there I was with Levi. It was awful.”
“No doubt. I’m so sorry, babe.”
They sat quietly for a while. Travis finally said, “Are you hungry? We have sandwiches.”
“Nah. Go ahead.”
Travis ate and checked messages on his phone. Sam didn’t move, didn’t budge from Mel’s bedside.
“I’m going to stretch my legs and wash up,” Travis told him. “I’ll be right back.”
Sam nodded absently.
He took his time, throwing away his trash and using the restroom. He washed his hands and splashed water on his face. It was going to be one hell of a night.
He returned to find Sam holding Mel’s hand, talking softly to her. “Don’t leave me, Mel. Levi and I need you. We love you.
I
love you more than words can say.”
Travis’ heart ached.
Sam continued, “You’re the other half of my heart. You complete me. I don’t know who I am without you in my life.”
A tear rolled down Travis’ cheek. He’d written similar words recently, to Sam, when he’d been practicing how he was going to propose to him. That plan was probably out of the window now.
Chapter Nine
Sam could not believe how badly he’d failed Mel. When their mother had died, he’d assumed the role of caretaker, and had felt the responsibility of being there for his sister. Looking at her now, lying in the ICU bed, he knew he’d done a fucking miserable job of it.
She’d held her own all night long and seemed to be resting comfortably. He sincerely hoped that was a good thing.
He rose and paced around the small room. At some point Travis had fallen asleep, leaning forward over the foot of Mel’s bed. It looked horribly uncomfortable and he expected his lover to wake at any minute with a backache, if nothing else.
Sam paused behind him and ran one hand over his smooth back. He caressed his shoulders and started kneading them, massaging gently.
Travis stirred and sat up. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at Mel. “Any change?”
“Nope.”
He stood and stretched, then faced Sam. “Did you sleep at all?”
Sam shook his head.
Travis sighed and reached for his hips, drawing him close. “She’s holding on. That’s something.” He rested his forehead on Sam’s shoulder.
Sam sighed. “I know. I just feel wired up. I wish the doctor would come in. They said he’d make rounds soon.”
“He will. Waiting is the hardest part.” He curled one finger under Sam’s chin and raised it, then pressed a kiss to his lips.
Sam kissed him back. At another time he’d easily have sank into the embrace and desired more. Just now, his emotions were so conflicted he could barely manage the kiss. “You should go so you’re not late for work.”
Travis shook his head. “I’m not going in today. I’ll call one of my partners and my nurse. They can juggle my schedule one more day.”
Sam frowned. “There’s really no need, Trav. You can’t do anything here.”
“Being with you is doing something. I love you, Sam. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
“Thanks for the thought, but you’ll go stir crazy if you’re cooped up in here much longer.”
Travis smiled. “You know me that well, huh? I’ll be fine.”
Sam wasn’t convinced. “You’ve given up so much for us already. You don’t get to take your daily bike rides anymore. Hell, the last few weeks you’ve been lucky to get one in on the weekends.”
“Do you hear me complaining? It’s my choice. Besides, I’m getting my exercise in another manner these days, and you don’t hear me complaining about that, either.” He patted Sam’s hips.
The door opened and a doctor came in. “Good morning. I’m Dr. Evanston, the hospitalist.”
Travis released his grip and stepped forward to shake hands. “I’m Dr. Travis Nelson. This is my partner, Sam Madison.”
Evanston shook hands and glanced at the chart. “The patient’s brother?”
“Yes.” Sam moved next to them. “How is she?”
“Her lab results look good today, considering the amount and type of drugs we found in her system.”
Travis added, “We never heard what you found, other than the empty oxycodone bottle.”
He glanced at her chart again. “High levels of oxy mixed with cocaine, heroin and methamphetamines.”
Sam couldn’t believe his ears. “Metha-what?”
“Speed,” Travis said.
“And heroin?” Sam gaped. “Isn’t that the opposite of speed? Why would she take all of them at once? And don’t you have to inject heroin? I’ve never seen any marks on her arms.”
Evanston went to Mel’s side and uncovered her arms. He glanced at them closely and pointed. “See that? Track marks. Not many, so maybe it wasn’t a regular thing for her.”
Sam ran a finger over the mark on her inner elbow. “Or maybe she wasn’t trying to kill herself. What if she got stoned and didn’t realize everything she’d taken? That could happen, couldn’t it?’
The doctor replied, “It’s doubtful when there’s an empty pill bottle like that. The amount in her system indicates she took more than a couple of pills. We just don’t know if it was before or after her alleged attack. Only Melanie will be able to fill in those blanks, and that’s if she remembers. Regardless, when she wakes up we’re required either to admit her for a three-day psych hold, or to release her to a treatment facility. But she won’t be free to go home.”
Sam thought about that. “How long are the programs in the treatment facilities?”
“Minimum of thirty days.”
Travis said softly, “Might be just the thing she needs.”
“She won’t be happy,” Sam murmured.
Evanston shrugged. “She might be unhappy, in general, that she woke up. If she truly wanted to end it, she’ll be angry at whoever brought her here.”
Sam waved a hand. “Lucky me. Whatever, she can be as pissed as she wants. I wasn’t going to let her die.”
“Tell her that,” Evanston said. “Remind her that there are people who care about her very much. She’ll have to undergo extensive therapy. You might find it beneficial to sit in on some of it.”
“Maybe.” Sam wasn’t so sure. The only therapy sessions he’d seen had been on TV and in movies, and they’d been grueling. He didn’t know if he was strong enough for that kind of introspection. “That stuff is pretty intense.”
“Mel’s going to have to do the work,” Travis said. “The choice of whether she makes a turnaround or not has got to be hers.”
Sam sighed thoughtfully. “I’ll be there every step of the way,” he decided at that moment. “We’ll do the work together.”
A crease furrowed Travis’ brow, and he looked away.
Evanston moved toward the door. “I’ll be back later to check on her. The nurses have instructions to call me if she wakes up.”
Sam looked at Mel. “When.”
The doctor said, “Excuse me?”
He gazed at Evanston. “
When
she wakes up.”
Smiling, the doctor conceded. “
When
she wakes up. Of course.” He turned to Travis. “She may just make it yet, if she’s half as tenacious as her brother. He seems like a good man to have in her corner.”
“He is a good man,” Travis agreed, and went to stare out of the window facing the nurses’ station.
The doctor left and Sam turned back to Mel.
“Saint Samuel,” Travis muttered.
Sam bristled at the tone and cocked his head. “What was that?”
Travis faced him. “All of a sudden, I’m seeing things in our future that I’d never envisioned in a million years. Rehab, therapy sessions, twelve step programs… That’s what you being there ‘every step of the way’ sounds like to me.”
“Maybe it does. What did you think I was going to do? Say, ‘You tried to kill yourself, Mel, so to hell with you, you’re on your own now’?”
“Of course not. But there are inpatient facilities that could guide her through the process she needs. Why does the only person who can help her have to be you?”
“Because she’s part of me, Travis, and if you don’t get that by now then you really don’t know me at all. I’ll never abandon my twin sister to some cold facility.”
Travis’ face reddened. “I never said you should abandon her. I’m just not sure you should place her as high on your list of priorities as you do. She certainly doesn’t hold you in the same esteem.”
“You’re basing this diagnosis on what, Doctor? The handful of times you’ve seen her over the past few months?”
“Sam, listen. You’re bending over backwards for someone who hasn’t shown you the same consideration for months now. I’m just saying, I don’t see why you have to put your life on hold to take care of her above all else.”
Sam chuckled bitterly. “Are you fucking kidding me? My life has been on hold since the day I met you. I told you before and it’s still true today—we don’t know what we have, or don’t have, until Mel gets her act together and we figure out where all the pieces fit into the puzzle. Nothing has changed, Trav. There are just a few more pieces to make fit, now.”
Travis clenched his fists open and closed at his sides. He finally said, “I guess I never told you… I can put up with a lot, but I really hate puzzles.”
Sam felt as if he were falling. He clutched the handrail on the bed to keep from stumbling, even though he was standing still. He’d never seen such a cold, unfriendly expression on Travis’ face. It scared him worse than anything he could recall of late. He inhaled and blew out the breath, hoping his voice didn’t squeak when he finally used it. “I guess it’s good we found this out now.”
Travis’ chuckle held no humor. “Now
you’re
fucking kidding
me
. I don’t see anything good in this situation at all.” He glanced around the room. “I’ve got to get out of here.”
“Fine. Go home, go to work, I don’t care. Just go, Travis. I need to be with my sister. I definitely don’t need this.”
His parting look was full of hurt and anger. “You don’t have the slightest concept of what you need, Sam Madison. You have no fucking idea.” Travis walked out and thudded the sliding door closed behind him.
Sam dropped into the nearest chair, still clutching the handrail. He rested his face against the cool metal and hoped that when he opened his eyes, Travis would still be sleeping across Mel’s feet.
Maybe it was all just a dream. Scratch that, a nightmare
.
He opened his eyes, and Mel was staring at him.
Sam’s eyes bugged out and he sprang forward. “Mel! You’re awake!”
“Where am I?” Her voice was hoarse.
“Cook County Hospital. They think you tried to kill yourself.”
“If this isn’t Heaven, then I didn’t do a very good job of it.” She glanced around. “But then again, you did say Cook County. So maybe I’m in Hell.”
He clasped her hand. “Why, Mel? I know things have been rough lately, but I guess I thought they were getting better. Of course you miss Rob, but you had Ronna and Derek—”
“Ronna is gone. She took Pete and went home to her parents until her husband comes back. And Derek, well, Derek is a grade ‘A’ asshole. I thought he was interested in me as a person, but it turns out he really just wanted to use me as a drug runner.” Her voice became stronger the more she talked. “I found out last night when he took me to some guy’s house and made me go inside to deliver some shit. Let’s just say the guy and his friend wanted more than the drugs I had to deliver. I called Derek real quick, because he was waiting for me out in the car. Do you know what he told me?”
Sam shook his head, almost afraid to hear.
She scoffed. “He told me to do whatever they wanted, and he’d wait. It was all part of the deal, he told me. So… I did it. The two of them—”
“Raped you?” Sam’s gut churned.
Mel chuckled sadly. “You can’t call it rape when you go along willingly, Sammy. They gave me some cocaine and at some point they injected something into my arm, too. I was pretty out of it. The whole scene was one frigging long orgasm until they decided they were done with me. They poured me back into most of my clothes and dropped me off at Derek’s car. When they paid him they said something about his ‘whore’, and tossed a few more bills my way. Derek just laughed. He drove me home and stuck me in bed, then left again.”
Sam thought he might be sick. He rose and paced around the room.
“The drugs started wearing off, I guess. I thought about everything they’d done, and I didn’t know if they’d used condoms or not. I tried to clean myself up, but I was just too tired. I wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t come down. And eventually, I just wanted it to be over. I found those pills I had left over from the accident, and took a bunch of them.”
He looked at her. “So it wasn’t a premeditated, planned thing. You didn’t really want to commit suicide, you were just reacting to the rape. That makes a difference on how the doctors look at it, Mel.”
She gazed at him levelly. “Of course I tried to kill myself, because it wasn’t a rape. I didn’t want to face the consequences of what I’d become. A whore.”
“You’re not a whore!” he snapped. “You were drugged and taken advantage of. The doctors did a rape kit. They can turn it over to the cops and you can press charges against Derek and the other scumbags who did this to you.”
“Oh yeah, so they can tell the police I was there delivering drugs? Pull your head out, Sammy. No one is going to tell the cops anything. I may be crazy, but I’m sane enough to want to stay out of jail.”
Sam’s mind raced. “Okay, we won’t say anything. But the doctor is going to ask if you were raped, so you’d better have a plausible answer.”
She smiled. “Not rape. Just one hell of a gang bang.”
He slapped the back of the chair he’d been sitting in. “Damn it, Mel! This isn’t a joke. Levi and I found you yesterday. We thought you were dead. It was really brutal and awful.”