Acceptable Risk (38 page)

As Kim was whisked around the lab, she began to notice that not only were the researchers friendly, they were also patient and respectful of each other. Although they were assertively eager to please her, they were content to wait their turn.

“This has been most interesting,” Kim said when Eleanor finally finished her lecture. Kim started to back toward the door. “Thank you all for taking so much of your valuable time to show me around.”

“Wait!” François said. He dashed to his desk, picked up a sheaf of photographs, and ran back. Breathlessly he showed them to Kim and asked her what she thought of them. They were brightly colored PET scans.

“I think they are-” Kim searched for a word that wouldn’t make her sound foolish. She finally said: “Dramatic.”

“They are, aren’t they?” François said, cocking his head to the side to regard them from a slightly different angle. “They’re like modern art.”

“What exactly do they tell you?” Kim asked. She would have preferred to leave, but with everyone watching, she felt obligated to ask a question.

“The colors refer to concentrations of radioactive Ultra,” François said. “The red is the highest concentration. These scans show quite clearly that the drug localizes maximally to the upper brain stem, the midbrain, and the limbic system.”

“I remember Stanton’s referring to the limbic system at the dinner party,” Kim said.

“He did indeed,” François said. “As he suggested, it’s part of the more primitive, or reptilian, parts of the brain and is involved with autonomic function, including mood, emotion, and even smell.”

“And sex,” David said.

“What do you mean, ‘reptilian’?” Kim asked. The word had an ugly connotation to her. She’d never liked snakes.

“It’s used to refer to the parts of the brain that are similar to the brains of reptiles,” François said. “Of course it is an oversimplification, but it does have some merit. Although the human brain evolved from some common distant ancestor with current-day reptiles, it’s not like taking a reptile brain and sticking a couple of cerebral hemispheres on top.”

Everybody laughed. Kim found herself laughing as well. The general mood was hard to resist.

“As far as basic instincts are concerned,” Edward said, “we humans have them just like reptiles. The difference is ours are covered by varying degrees of socialization and civilization. Translated, that means that the cerebral hemispheres have hard-wired connections that control reptilian behavior.”

Kim looked at her watch. “I really have to be going,” she said. “I’ve got a train to catch into Boston.”

With such an excuse Kim was finally able to break free from the obliging clutches of the researchers although they all encouraged her to come back. Edward walked her outside.

“Are you really on your way to Boston?” Edward asked.

“I am,” Kim said. “Last night I decided to go back to Harvard for one more try. I’d found another letter that included a reference to Elizabeth’s evidence. It gave me another lead.”

“Good luck,” Edward said. “Enjoy yourself.” He gave her a kiss and then went back into the lab. He didn’t ask about Kim’s latest letter.

Kim walked back to the cottage, feeling strangely numb from the researchers’ intense congeniality. Maybe something was wrong with her. She hadn’t liked how aloof they’d been, but now she found she didn’t like them sociable either. Was she impossible to please?

The more Kim thought about her response, the more she realized that it had a lot to do with their sudden uniformity. When she’d first met them she’d been struck by their eccentricities and quirks. Now their personalities had become blended into an amiable but bland whole that shrouded their individuality.

As Kim changed clothes for her trip into Boston, she couldn’t stop mulling over what was happening at the compound. She felt her misgiving-the very anxiety that had driven her to see Alice-on the increase again.

Ducking into the parlor to retrieve a sweater, Kim paused beneath Elizabeth’s portrait and looked up into her ancestor’s feminine yet forceful face. There was not a hint of anxiety in Elizabeth’s visage. Kim wondered if Elizabeth had ever felt as out of control as she did.

Kim got into her car and headed for the train station, unable to get Elizabeth out of her mind. It suddenly occurred to her that there were striking similarities between her world and Elizabeth’s despite the enormous gap in time. Elizabeth had to live with the continual threat of Indian attack, while Kim was conscious of the ever-present peril of crime. Back then there had been the mysterious and frightful menace of smallpox while today it was AIDS. In Elizabeth’s time there was a breakdown of the Puritan hold on society, with the emergence of unbridled materialism; today it was the passing of the stability of the Cold War with the emergence of fractious nationalism and religious fundamentalism. Back then there was a confusing and changing role for women; today it was the same.

“The more things change, the more they stay the same,” Kim said, voicing the old adage.

Kim wondered if all these similarities could have anything to do with the message she’d come to believe Elizabeth was trying to send her over the centuries. With a shudder, Kim wondered if a fate similar to Elizabeth’s was in store for her. Could that be what Elizabeth was trying to tell her? Could it be a warning?

Increasingly upset, Kim made a conscious effort to stop ruminating obsessively. She was successful until she got on the train. Then the thoughts came tumbling back.

“For goodness’ sake!” Kim said aloud, causing the woman sitting next to her to eye her with suspicion.

Kim turned to face out the window. She chided herself for allowing her active imagination too much free rein. After all, the differences between her life and Elizabeth’s were far greater than any similarities, particularly in the area of control. Elizabeth had had very little control over her destiny. She had been essentially coerced at a young age into what was actually an arranged marriage, and she did not have access to birth control. In contrast, Kim was free to choose whom she would marry, and was free to control her body insofar as reproduction was concerned.

This line of thinking kept Kim comfortable until the train neared North Station in Boston. Then she began to wonder if she was as free as she’d like to believe. She reviewed some of the major decisions in her life, such as becoming a nurse instead of pursuing a career in art or design. Then she reminded herself that she was living with a man in a relationship that was becoming disturbingly similar to the one she’d had with her father. On top of that, she reminded herself that she was saddled with a research lab on her property and five researchers living in the family house-none of which had been her idea.

The train lurched to a stop. Mindless of her immediate environment, Kim walked to the subway. She knew what the problem was. She could almost hear Alice’s voice in the background, telling her it was her personality. She didn’t have appropriate self-esteem; she was too pliant; she thought of other people’s needs and ignored her own. And all these conspired to constrain her freedom.

Such an irony, Kim thought. Elizabeth’s personality, with her assertiveness and decisiveness, would have been perfect for today’s world whereas in her own time it undoubtedly contributed to her untimely death. Kim’s personality, on the other hand, which was more dutiful and submissive rather than assertive and decisive, would have been fine in the seventeenth century but was not working out so well today.

With renewed resolve to unravel Elizabeth’s story, Kim boarded the subway and traveled to Harvard Square. Within fifteen minutes of her arrival she was back in Mary Custland’s office in the Widener Library, waiting for Mary to finish reading Jonathan’s letter.

“This house of yours must be a treasure of memorabilia,” Mary said, looking up from the page. “This letter is priceless.” She immediately called Katherine Sturburg to her office and had her read it.

“What a delight,” Katherine said when she was finished.

Both women told Kim that the letter was from a period of Harvard history of which there was scant material. They asked if they could copy it, and Kim gave them permission.

“So we have to find a reference to ‘Rachel Bingham,’~” Mary said, sitting down at her terminal.

“That’s what I’m hoping,” Kim said.

Mary entered the name while Kim and Katherine looked over her shoulder. Kim found herself with crossed fingers without having been conscious of doing it.

Two Rachel Binghams flashed onto the screen, but both were from the nineteenth century and could have had no association with Elizabeth. Mary tried a few other tricks, but there was nothing.

“I’m awfully sorry,” Mary said. “Of course you realize that even if we did find a reference, the problem of the 1764 fire would still be a rather insurmountable difficulty.”

“I understand,” Kim said. “I really didn’t expect to find anything, but, as I said on my first visit, I feel obligated to follow up on any new leads.”

“I’ll be sure to go through my sources with the new name,” Katherine said.

Kim thanked both women and left. She took the subway back to North Station and had to wait for a train to Salem. As she stood on the platform she vowed to redouble her efforts at sorting the impossible jumble of papers in the castle over the next couple of days. Once she started back to work she’d have little opportunity to work on it except on her days off.

Arriving back at the compound, Kim intended to drive directly to the castle, but as she cleared the trees, she saw a Salem police car parked in front of the cottage. Curious as to what that could mean, she headed in its direction.

As she approached, Kim spotted Edward and Eleanor standing and conversing with two policemen in the middle of the grassy field about fifty yards from the house. Eleanor had her arm around Edward’s shoulder.

Kim parked next to the patrol car and got out. The group in the field either hadn’t heard her arrive or were too preoccupied to notice her.

Curious, Kim started walking toward them. As she approached she could see that there was something in the grass that had their collective attention.

Kim gasped when she saw what had their attention. It was Buffer. The poor dog was dead. What made the scene particularly gruesome was that some of the dog’s flesh from its hindquarters was gone, exposing bloodied bones.

Kim cast a sorrowful look at Edward, who greeted her with composure, suggesting to her that he’d recovered from the initial shock. She could see dried tears on his cheeks. As nasty as the dog was, she knew he cared for him.

“It might be worth it to have the bones looked at by a medical examiner,” Edward was saying. “There’s a chance someone could recognize the teethmarks and tell us what species of animal could have done this.”

“I don’t know how the medical examiner’s office would respond to a call about a dead dog,” one of the officers said. His name was Billy Selvey.

“But you said you’ve had a couple of similar episodes during the last few nights,” Edward said. “I think it behooves you to find out what kind of animal is involved. Personally, I think it was either another dog or a raccoon.”

Kim was impressed with Edward’s rationality in the face of his loss. He’d recovered enough to have a technical discussion about potential teethmarks on the exposed bone.

“When was the last time you saw the dog?” Billy asked.

“Last night,” Edward said. “He usually slept with me, but maybe I let him out. I can’t remember. Occasionally the dog stayed out all night. I’d never thought it was a problem since the compound is so big, and the dog wouldn’t bother anyone anyway.”

“I fed the dog around eleven-thirty last night,” Kim said. “I left him in the kitchen eating.”

“Did you let him out?” Edward asked.

“No, as I said, I left him in the kitchen,” Kim said.

“Well, I didn’t see him when I got up this morning,” Edward said. “I didn’t think anything about it. I just assumed he’d show up at the lab.”

“Do you people have one of those pet doors?” Billy asked.

Both Kim and Edward said no at the same time.

“Anybody hear anything unusual last night?” Billy asked.

“I was dead to the world,” Edward said. “I sleep very soundly, especially lately.”

“I didn’t hear anything either,” Kim said.

“There’s been some talk down at the station about these incidents being due to a rabid animal,” the other officer said. His name was Harry Conners. “Do you people have any other pets?”

“I have a cat,” Kim said.

“We advise you to keep it on a short leash for the next few days,” Billy said.

The police put away their notepads and pens, said goodbye, and started toward their cruiser.

“What about the carcass?” Edward called out. “Don’t you want to take it to the medical examiner?”

The two officers looked at each other, hoping the other one would respond. Finally Billy yelled back that they thought it best not to take it.

Edward waved them away good-naturedly. “I gave them a great tip and what do they do?” he said. “They walk away.”

“Well, I’ve got to get back to work,” Eleanor said, speaking up for the first time. She looked at Kim. “Don’t forget, you promised to come back to the lab real soon.”

“I’ll be there,” Kim promised. She was amazed Eleanor cared, yet she seemed sincere.

Eleanor started off toward the lab.

Edward stood looking down at Buffer. Kim averted her eyes. The sight was grisly and made her stomach turn.

“I’m very sorry about Buffer,” Kim said, putting her hand on Edward’s shoulder.

“He had a good life,” Edward said cheerfully. “I think I’ll disarticulate the back legs and send them to one of the pathologists I know at the medical school. Maybe he could tell us what kind of animal we should be looking for.”

Kim swallowed hard hearing Edward’s suggestion. Further mutilating the poor dog was hardly what she’d expected from him.

“I’ve got an old rag in the back of my car,” Edward said. “I’ll get it to wrap the carcass in.”

Not sure what she should do, Kim stayed by Buffer’s remains while Edward went for the old towel. She was rattled by Buffer’s cruel fate even if Edward seemingly wasn’t. Once Buffer was wrapped in the towel, she accompanied Edward back to the lab.