Accessory: The Scarab Beetle Series: #4 (The Academy) (16 page)

So I relaxed my hand. I didn’t do anything other than feel the piercing with my thumb, and then worried about if it might hurt so I moved my thumb away. He hadn’t flinched, hadn’t done anything except calmly watch my face.

I’d had a few boyfriends in my life, and a few of them would put my hand on their crotches during make-out sessions. I knew they liked stroking but not at any time had I had the chance to simply explore. Before it had been about the endgame, what they wanted.

I moved my hand down, feeling the thickness between my thumb and first two fingers. I held it up, weighing it in my palm. I traced the veins. I don’t know why I felt oddly comfortable doing this with Raven now. Maybe because he wasn’t asking me anything at all.

I started to get more embarrassed and then tried to pull my hand back.

Raven leaned into my hand, pressing himself against my palm. He moved his arm to reach for me, cupping my cheek in his hand. His eyes settled on my lips.

Raven. He’d stood up to me with Marc. He’d fought off my father and bad guys for me. I got angry with him often, but after getting kidnapped, he had become my shadow. He was always there, sleeping next to me on the couch, or just sitting quietly beside me while I watched TV or was being lazy. I couldn’t help but feel close to him.

I closed my eyes and then felt his lips on mine. The lip ring was missing. His lips were dry with the first kiss, and he licked them before the second.

It was a calm kiss, steady and slow. I hadn’t kissed any of them in a while and remembered that they hadn’t kissed me at all since I’d been in the hospital.

My soul craved this now. Feelings built up inside of me, a desire to be close. An emptiness was overtaking me and I really, really needed something for it.

Raven eased out of the kiss, backing up to look at me. He settled again on his side, propping himself up with his right arm. His left moved from my face, along my neck and shoulder and down my arm to my hip. His hand smoothed over my waist, and then massaged the muscles of my back, following my spine.

I relaxed at his touch, breathing in deeply. The massage felt good, and encouraged my own exploration of his body to continue. I did, but gently. I’d gone this far. I went back to the piercing, moving it slightly, and then encompassed the entire head in my hand. I used fingertips to explore the ridge.

Raven’s breathing got more heavy the more I touched him. His hand climbed up my spine, slow and massaging. Smoothly, he eased his hand over my shoulder and then down to my collar bone, just above my breast. “Will you let me?” he asked, his voice thick, gruffer than his normal deep tone, his accent heavier than usual.

I nodded. Fair was fair. He was letting me explore him. That wasn’t totally why I wanted him to, though, even though I found it hard to admit to myself. I cared about Raven. We’d been through a lot. He’d promised to stay even if the others left. I didn’t dare entertain the idea, but it warmed me that he would stay beside me even if the others abandoned me. I wanted to believe him. Why did this feel right?

Raven slid his hand down, smoothing out the T-shirt material over my breast. He moved slowly like I did, exploring. He weighed my breast in his hand. He circled it with his fingers, massaging. After a few moments, he shifted, taking the edge of the shirt up to my waist, and then slid his hand up until he could touch my bare breast.

I breathed in deeply, drawn to his intimate touch. I leaned into his hand. I...liked this. No pressure. No snarky remarks about giving head or demands to get him off already. There were no expectations. It was pure mutual exploration of bodies.

He gently squeezed my nipple between his fingers, rolling it. He cupped the breast, his fingers tracing the softer underside. He breathed in deeply, leaning in for a kiss. Longer this time, his mouth feeling mine. I responded, eager.

As he kissed me, I encircled my hand around his length. I stroked it, just below the head.

Raven groaned into the kiss, and then pulled his hand from my breast, and down to my hand, covering my palm tightly with his. At first, he didn’t move, and I wondered if maybe I’d hurt him. Maybe I bumped the piercing the wrong way. Ouch.

Instead, he pulled my hand with his as he moved onto his back. He moved the blanket away as he stroked, guiding my hand up and down his length. He groaned as his eyes squeezed shut and his cock started to throb. “Shit,” he said in a rush. “I…” There was something else too, in Russian, but I didn’t catch it.

Oh. I started moving, squeezing gently at the head, careful around his piercing. He groaned again, gasping. After several long minutes of this, our breathing and flesh on flesh were the only sounds in the room. He moved his cock, positioning it so as he came, his warm liquid pooled around his belly button.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “Too soon.”

I didn’t care. It turned me on to feel it. It was strangely refreshing to think I turned him on that much. Feeling his orgasm made me feel oddly powerful, seductive.

I kept my hand on him until the throbbing subsided. Raven rocked his head back, his body relaxing against the bed. He blew out a long breath. “Give me a minute. I’ll get back to you.”

“It’s okay,” I said, warmed he was concerned about giving me an orgasm. Just getting this far with him was actually rewarding to me. Plus, it thrilled me to think of him owing me. In a romantic way. “Maybe next time.” I drew my hand back to my stomach, smoothing out my shirt, and feeling oddly proud of myself. I’d want a proper shower and shave before next time anyway.

It simply stirred up my feelings more to think I was considering doing more with Raven later.

“I didn’t mean to start that,” he said. He turned his head to me, his brown eyes big, and strangely worried. “Don’t tell Axel.”

I didn’t understand what he meant. “I started it.”

He pressed his lips together and nodded. “You were sick,” he said.

They had all backed off while I was sick. Maybe Axel said something akin to taking it easy around me while I wasn’t feeling good. At the mention of Axel, though, I did feel guilty. I had enough relationship troubles, and this was like a confirmation with Raven that maybe we were together. I wasn’t really sure where I stood with the guys anymore. I guess I knew where Raven stood now. “I’m not sick anymore,” I said. “But I won’t say anything.”

He sighed and then nodded again, his body relaxing as he looked up at the ceiling. “My Little Thief. We can do things now or whenever you wanted. I promised I’d take you out to date. I’ve been waiting to do things your American way. You touched me though and I...I haven’t...it’s been a while.”

Masturbated? I hadn’t in a while either, but I’d been around the guys so often, and with being sick, I hadn’t been in the mood. “I thought guys did that all the time.”

“I usually only do that when I’m not seeing someone. Otherwise, I like waiting.”

“It’s not like we’re waiting for marriage,” I said.

His eyebrows scrunched together. “Wait for marriage?”

“I guess technically it’s tradition to wait for sex until you were married.”

“Same in Russia,” he said. “Or it used to be. That’s why Russians get married quickly.”

I smiled. I’d been turned on and now I was starting to settle into something a little more cozy. I wanted to know more about Raven, to get familiar with his culture and how he thought. “How quickly? Like how long after you...what did you say? When you pass the fruit salad over to indicate you want to talk to a girl? How quickly after that do Russians get married?”

He shrugged. “The next day.”

I pressed my lips hard together to stifle a grin. “You’re crazy. That’s not it.”

“It is,” he said. He rubbed at his stomach, and picked his head up to look at the mess he’d made, but then settled down and sighed. “Next day. Or if there’s work, the next day after. Depends. Most men might move her into his home first, maybe for a week, and then...” He made a popping noise with his mouth. “Married.”

“Crazy,” I said. I rolled my head to look at the ceiling. “Not to mock your culture, but personally, I don’t think I’ll ever get married.”

He picked up his head. “Not ever married?”

“I don’t like the government getting all in my business about if I’m loyal to someone,” I said. “If I’m with someone, I’m with that person. No need for the paperwork.”

“No government in your business,” he said. He ran his tongue over his teeth and then pursed his lips, nodding in approval. “Right. Little Thief, we won’t get married. No government.”

I wasn’t sure if he’d taken proposal off the table, or if he meant he planned on now not getting married, either, and was agreeing with my train of thought.

“Raven,” I said quietly, I turned my head, looking at him.

He turned his head, looking back at me with his big brown eyes. Without the lip ring, and with his hair brushed off to the side, he had unique, handsome jawline and broad face.

He reached for my hand, taking it in his and squeezing it. As he did, it felt like he’d taking hold of my heart, and held it just as tightly.

I wanted to say something then. I wanted to tell him I liked him, and a thousand different things. Should I just commit to him? Could I confide in him that I was confused about my feelings, and worried about breaking up the team in some way?

“I…” Raven started to say. He licked his lips and tried again.

But then he cut off when there was walking in the hallway. I stiffened next to him. If the boys walked in on us…

Raven settled down, as did I. The footsteps went away, but I think we both silently agreed we should probably get dressed and quickly. We could talk on the way, or as we got ready, but it wouldn’t do either of us any good to be caught like this right now.

When it seemed like the people in the hallway had for sure moved on, I sat up, meaning again to find a clock of some sort to figure out exactly how late we were.

The waves of nausea started again. I steadied myself for a moment, staying completely still. When it didn’t help, I lay back again. Nope, didn’t work. My stomach lurched again as my mouth flooded with saliva.

“Kayli?” Raven asked, brushing my arm with his hand. “You okay?”

I jumped up instead of answering him, scrambling over the bed to get to the bathroom. I bolted for the toilet and kneeled over it, waiting.

Nothing happened. At first I thought maybe it was just a bout of bad nausea. I breathed slowly, trying to calm my nervous heart.

“Are you okay?” Raven asked, standing naked in the doorway.

I shook my head. I wasn’t sure what was happening; I hadn’t eaten in a while so everything felt empty.

Suddenly a tight cramp tightened my gut. It grew in strength, drawing my attention from the nausea to my lower abdomen. At first I was relieved because after all the puking I’d done in the hospital, none of it had felt like this; maybe I wasn’t going to throw up after all.

The cramp got worse. I rolled on the floor onto my side and then to my back, using the cool of the title to chill my warm body. Then I stopped moving as the cramps got worse, twisting, gnarling my insides. I cradled my arms around my gut at first, and then the nausea returned. I sat up and doubled over against the cramping, only to lay back down again when it was too much, feeling my back suddenly soaked with sweat.

It was a cramped bit of space, but I angled myself as best I could. I gave up and stayed down, lying against the tile, dying on the inside.

Raven knelt beside me, hovering. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Sick?”

“My stomach,” I said. I moaned, unsure what to do. I was going to puke right back into my mouth if I got sick, since I couldn’t even sit up to do it properly. Ugh, gross. “I’m dying.”

“Kayli,” he said, reaching for my arm. I didn’t want to be touched, my skin suddenly sensitive and hot. His touch seemed to make the cramping worse. He released me and then he bent over, putting both hands on the ground, crowding me and looking at my face. “My fault,” he said.

I couldn’t figure out his meaning and didn’t care to ask at the moment. I pushed at his arm. “Just give me some air. And stand back.” He was taking up what little bit of room there was in the bathroom.

“I’ll go get medicine,” he said. “I’ll go get...go...get...” He grunted and then went for the door, found his jeans and tugged them on. “Don’t move,” he said.

“No problem,” I said. The cramping had eased a bit, still bad but not as acute as before. When it wasn’t cramping, the nausea became worse. Maybe I was seasick. Was this what happened when you got seasick? This was horrible.

Raven bolted out the door, leaving it wide open. Did he put anything else on besides jeans?

After a minute, I realized the door was still open. Avery or the crew could have just waltzed right in, with me on the floor in my underwear.

Maybe I’d puke on myself, too. That’d show Axel and everyone else that I should be in charge.

I kept my shirt bunched up around my breasts. The cooler air on my stomach seemed to soothe the nausea as I breathed slowly. I considered just puking to get it over with, but didn’t exactly want to encourage it along. Any little movement and I was afraid the cramping would get worse.

A figure came into the room. I’d thought it was Brandon at first. My eyes were blurry and focused on the toilet. “Don’t get any closer,” I moaned.

A jean-clad leg came near and stopped close to my head. A body knelt. “Sugar dumpling,” cooed a steady, concerned Southern Charleston accent. “You’re as green as a gourd.”

I fluttered my eyes, opening them wider, to spy an upside down face of Blake. His blond hair hung around his head. A black cord with a small black box attached to it dangled from around his neck.

They were listening. It bugged me that he knew to come down here and I couldn’t really fight with him on this at the moment. I wondered how much he might have heard, if he listened while I talked to Raven earlier. I wasn’t so sure I’d like that to continue.

I waved him off. “Go away,” I said. “You shouldn’t be here. If they come back...”

“You’re in no position to be left alone,” he said as he moved away from me but not very far. I turned my head to watch as he ran some water into a tiny cup from the sink and wet a washcloth from the pile of towels. He brought these over and knelt beside me. He aimed the washcloth at my face.