He leans down and kisses me – a
real
kiss, hard and passionate. I close my eyes, breathing in the scent of his aftershave as I’m overtaken by a giddy, weightless joy. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for; longing for. It doesn’t matter that the stubble on his cheeks is scraping the corners of my mouth. It doesn’t matter that he’s kissing me so hard he’s crushing my lips against my teeth. It doesn’t matter that he’s probably smudging my make-up, or even that the kiss is kind of . . . wet. What matters is that he is kissing me.
When we break apart, there’s a scattering of applause. Shocked, I turn to see that everyone has gathered around us. Hailey’s grinning like a lunatic.
The rest of the evening seems to pass in a whirl. Evan doesn’t leave my side, and with his arm round me and people I don’t even know congratulating me on our LifePartnering, I feel as if my dream of a perfect, happy life is coming true at last.
I need to use the bathroom. ‘I’ll be back in a minute,’
I
tell Evan, reluctantly extricating myself from his grasp. I slip into our bedroom, where everyone’s jackets and bags are piled onto our bed, but there’s already someone in our bathroom, so I go out again and head for the en-suite in the spare bedroom. It isn’t until I’ve used the toilet and I’m washing my hands that I notice the little package propped up on the shelf above the sink.
It’s something wrapped in plain white paper, about ten centimetres tall and five centimetres wide. My name has been written on the front in black ink.
I frown. Is it a LifePartnering gift that someone’s left in here by accident? If so, why does it only have my name on it? I pick up the package and open it, dropping the paper into the sink.
It’s some sort of device, about half a centimetre thick, made from black plastic and metal. There’s a little screen and, on the front of it, a round wheel with a button in the middle. Wrapped around it is what appears to be a pair of small earplugs on wires that taper down to a single thin cable plugged into the top of the device. When I turn it over I see a little symbol engraved on the back – an apple with a bite taken out of it – and a word that makes no sense to me at all: iPod. The device is battered and scratched; it looks very old.
There’s a note with it:
Put headphones in your ears. Follow instructions to listen to message. Memorize and throw this and iPod into incinerator. VERY IMPORTANT that you listen!! From – a friend
.
There are some pictures underneath, showing me how to use the device. I stare at it, my hands starting to tremble. I know, just
know
, that this is connected to the news screen being hacked. But who put it here?
How did they get into my apartment?
There’s a tap at the door, and then Meredith sticks her head round it. ‘Jess, are you OK?’ she says. ‘You’ve been gone ages.’
Trying to put on a calm expression, I slide the device behind my back, hoping she hasn’t already seen it. ‘I’m fine,’ I say. ‘Could you ask Evan to come in here? I – I need to ask him something.’
Meredith frowns. ‘Um, OK.’ She goes back out into the apartment again. A few moments later, Evan appears.
‘Shut the door!’ I hiss at him.
Looking puzzled, he does as I ask. ‘Look,’ I say, holding out the device. ‘I found this in here just now, with this note.’
Evan takes the device and the note, which he reads, his puzzled expression deepening.
‘Who’s this from?’ he says.
‘I don’t know. I think it’s something to do with the news screen being hacked.’ My voice is shaky and shrill.
‘What do you—’ Evan begins, looking more confused than ever. Then he must remember, because his face clears. ‘Oh, that.’
‘Evan, someone put this here. Someone’s been in our apartment!’
‘There are lots of people in this apartment right now,’
he
says. He looks half amused, half annoyed. ‘Jess, it’s probably someone playing a joke on you. Have you even listened to what’s on there? I bet it’s someone just saying Happy LifePartnering or something.’
He unwinds the headphones from around the device.
‘No!’ I shriek. ‘Don’t do that!’ My heart is pounding like crazy. All I can think of is the horrible, gravelly voice that came out of the news screen.
‘Jess, stop freaking out,’ Evan says. He’s starting to look annoyed now.
‘Please don’t listen to it,’ I say. ‘Get rid of it.’ My eyes are filled with tears.
‘God,’ Evan says. ‘OK. I’ll throw it down the incinerator chute in the kitchen. Will that make you feel better?’
‘I’m coming with you,’ I say. I can’t bear the thought that, once I’m not looking, he might listen to the device after all, just to see what’s on there.
Everyone stares at us as I scuttle after Evan into the kitchen. A few people follow us, Meredith and Hailey among them. ‘What’s happening?’ I hear a guy saying. ‘What’s he got there?’ Hailey asks, ‘Jess, is everything OK?’
I ignore her. I ignore all of them. All I care about is seeing that device gone. Evan shoves past one of the hired maids and opens the incinerator hatch, which is next to the cooker. He drops the device inside and I watch it spiral down into the darkness. Then he slams the hatch again.
‘Happy now?’ he says, brushing his hands off.
‘I – I think we should link ACID,’ I say. I still feel sick with panic.
‘What, and have everyone get sent home, and spend hours answering questions? You’re kidding, right?’
‘But someone was here,’ I say.
‘For God’s sake, Jess. Stop being so paranoid!’ Evan says. ‘Did you take your meds tonight? Because you’re acting totally weird.’
‘Meds?’ Hailey says behind me, and I remember I haven’t said anything to her about them. I’ve told her and Meredith that my bracelet’s an heirloom, passed down from my grandmother, which is why I never take it off.
It isn’t time for my meds yet, so I try to take deep breaths like they told me at the rehab unit, but the panic keeps on building. Pins and needles prickle up and down my arms. Sweat has broken out on my forehead and I feel giddy and faint. I press a hand against my mouth, my chest hitching, my shoulders heaving.
‘
Jess
.’ Evan’s voice is no more than a low growl, but there’s no mistaking the anger in it. ‘Calm. Down.’ He grabs me by my upper arms, turning me to face him. His eyes glitter angrily as he gives me a little shake, his fingers digging into my arms, hurting me. I’ve never seen him look so furious, and suddenly, I remember those feelings I had outside Kerri’s office on my first day at work – those feelings of love that weren’t for him – and wonder if, somehow, he knows. ‘You’re embarrassing me,’ he says quietly. ‘Stop acting like such a freak.’
I can’t explain what I do next. It’s as if my brain sits
back
to watch from a safe distance while my body does all the work. I bring my knee up and drive it into Evan’s groin, and, with a strength I had no idea I possessed, throw him away from me. He crashes against the island in the middle of the kitchen, sending the dishes piled up there smashing to the floor, and collapses onto the tiles beside it with his hands jammed between his legs, whimpering.
Everything goes quiet. Even the music stops.
‘What the hell?’ Hailey says at last, her voice no more than a shocked whisper.
A guy pushes past me and crouches down beside Evan. ‘Hey, are you OK?’ he asks. ‘Evan?’
Evan groans. His eyes are closed, his face deathly pale.
‘I’m linking for a medic,’ the guy says, standing up again. He touches a finger to his ear, then starts speaking rapidly into his komm, telling whoever’s on the other end what happened.
I finally find my voice. ‘I’m sorry!’ I cry. ‘I didn’t mean to do that! I didn’t!’
I whirl round. Everyone backs away from me like they’re worried I might attack them next. The panic is the worst it’s ever been, singing through my veins like fire. Black spots start to appear at the edges of my vision. ‘Look at her!’ I hear someone mutter to my left. ‘She’s completely flipped!’
‘Let’s get out of here,’ someone else adds. People start to leave, all of them still staring at me as if I’ve sprouted horns and a tail and wings.
Escape
, I think. I dart forward, but the guy who linked
the
medic snatches a gigantic rolling pin off the counter and steps into my path, brandishing it. ‘Oh no you don’t,’ he says as I freeze.
‘Oh, Geoff, be careful!’ a girl says behind me.
By the time the medics arrive five minutes later, almost everyone except Geoff and the hired staff has left. Geoff explains what happened while one of the medics checks Evan over.
I stare at my LifePartner’s prone form, lying in the middle of a spray of cutlery and smashed china.
‘Has this ever happened before?’ the medic asks as he grabs a medpatch from a holder on his belt and places it on Evan’s neck.
‘I have no idea!’ Geoff says. ‘I don’t even know her. Just him.’
The medic looks at me, but I can’t answer him. My words are locked in my throat. I need to breathe and I can’t. The black spots at the edges of my vision grow and a ringing sound starts up in my ears.
‘Better give her a patch too, if it’s safe,’ the medic who’s tending to Evan says to his colleague. Before I can react, the medic has pressed a medpatch against the side of my neck. There’s a faint prickling sensation, and a spreading coolness. The effect is almost instantaneous, as if someone has doused my jangling nerve-endings with iced water. I sag against him, and he lowers me to the floor.
‘Let’s get them both out of here,’ the first medic says. ‘We can link ACID on the way.’
CHAPTER 44
APPARENTLY, I’VE CRACKED
two of Evan’s ribs and caused severe bruising to his groin. At the medicentre, as the ACID agent who’s checking my medical records and questioning me about what happened tells me this, I stare at him, too doped up to feel anything.
Several hours later, when ACID and the doctors are satisfied my outburst was a one-off, exacerbated by stress and a severe panic attack, I’m released from the medicentre with an amber warning and a car takes me home.
When I walk into the apartment, still feeling woozy from the after-effects of the medpatch, the living room is empty. So is the bedroom. Evan isn’t back yet. As I go into the bedroom, I remember how he looked at me tonight; how I thought that
finally
, we had a connection; that he might have real feelings for me.
I sit down on the edge of the bed and burst into tears.
When I finally manage to stop crying, my face feels swollen and my head aches. I can’t override the mediband, but there’s a small packet of medpatches in the bathroom cabinet. I stick one on my neck, thinking about using the rest as well, but there are only five more. It wouldn’t work. And anyway, ACID can send you to jail
for
trying to kill yourself. I’m in enough trouble as it is.
I lie down, gazing up at the ceiling. All I can think about is what everyone will be saying about me. About how I lost it and attacked my LifePartner at our own Partnering party.
Maybe it won’t be so bad
, I try to tell myself.
Maybe he’ll let you explain
.
But what
is
there to explain? I have no idea why I went for him like that. It was like . . .
It was like I was someone else.
Feeling sick, I turn over, balling the edge of the duvet in my hands. I lie there for hours, gripped by paranoia, until I hear Evan come home and head straight into the spare room, thumping the door shut behind him. Then I remember I’m still wearing my dress, and that I still have my hair up and a face covered in make-up. I get up and head into the bathroom to change and wash, deliberately avoiding looking at my reflection in the mirror and leaving my dress in a heap on the floor. I’m sure I won’t sleep, but I’m so exhausted that, only moments after I close my eyes, I’m gone.
I’m woken several hours later by a crash, and Evan’s screams.
CHAPTER 45
I SIT BOLT
upright in bed, still more asleep than awake, my heart pounding as I call out to activate the light. In the spare room, Evan’s still screaming, and I can hear other voices too. Someone’s asking, ‘Where is she?!’ Then, ‘Shut up, or I’ll arrest you too!’
Evan’s screams cut off abruptly.
She?
Suddenly, my head clears.
They mean me.
I look wildly around the room for somewhere to hide. Not under the bed – it’s too low to crawl under, and it’s the first place anyone would think to look. What about the wardrobe? No – they’ll look in there too. Maybe I should lock myself in the bathroom? Oh, God—
I hear footsteps on the other side of the bedroom door. I jump out of bed and leap for the wardrobe to yank it open, but just as my outstretched fingers brush the handle, the bedroom door flies inwards. Two ACID agents in jumpsuits and helmets burst into the room. ‘Don’t move,’ one says, pointing his pulse gun at my head.
I stare at him, my insides turning to water. ‘But I have an amber warning,’ I say in a shaky voice. ‘What
happened
with Evan was an accident – I explained—’
‘Shut up and sit down,’ the second agent says. He has a gun too, his fingers curled loosely around its grip. I walk backwards until I hit the bed, and sit. The second agent takes a set of restraints off his belt. Removing my mediband, he snaps a pair of cuffs around my wrists. Then he puts a set of restraints on my ankles. ‘Jessica Denbrough, you’re under arrest,’ he says, grabbing my upper arm and yanking me to my feet. He speaks into his komm. ‘Suspect apprehended. We’re on our way.’
He leads me out into the living room, the first agent following us with his gun pointed at my back.
Evan’s sitting on the sofa, white-faced, clutching his ribs. He doesn’t even look at me as the agent holding my arm prods me in the back. ‘
Evan!
’ I wail.
‘Keep moving,’ the ACID agent snaps.
When we reach the hall, I see the front door’s been broken down, lying on the floor in a heap of splinters and dust.
‘I need my mediband!’ I say, trying to turn back towards the bedroom.
‘I
said
, keep moving,’ the agent holding my arm says. He pulls me past the broken-down door. Splinters dig into my bare feet.