Across the Universe (14 page)

26

ELDER

“THAT FREXING GIRL HAS GONE INTO THE WARD COMMON room and is telling them all about Sol-Earth,” Eldest growls. “Didn’t we tell her about what would happen if she created more of a disturbance? Didn’t we?”

“Now, Eldest,” Doc says in a placating tone. “The Season will begin any day now. They’ll be distracted enough to forget anything she says.”

Eldest punches the nearest cryo chamber door. I jump back, wary of him, unsure of what or who he will strike next.

“Fine,” Eldest says. He turns his burning gaze to me. “The first cause of discord?”

A pop quiz? Now? “Difference,” I say.

“Exactly. Discord will follow that girl everywhere she goes on this ship like dirt a child tracks across the floor. And the second is lack of leadership. Boy, when differences cause discord, the only thing that can maintain control is leadership. Learn from this.”

He jabs his wi-com button. “All-call com link,” he says.

“What are you doing, Eldest?” I ask as a familiar
beep, beep-beep
fills my ear.

“Attention all residents of
Godspeed
. I have a very important announcement.”

My stomach drops. Eldest is talking to every resident on the ship through his wi-com link. And I think I know what he’s going to say. My mind races. There’s no way he’d tell everyone on
Godspeed
about the cryo level, the frozens, where Amy really came from. He would never tell them that.

“Eldest, don’t do this,” I say.

He ignores me.

“Some of you, particularly those of you on the Feeder Level near the Hospital, may notice a new resident on board.”

“Stop.” I lunge at Eldest. I’m sick of his lies.

Doc pulls me back, his long fingers gripping my arms. I try to shake him off, but he’s too strong.

“This new resident is a young female with strangely pale skin and bright hair. She is the result of a Shipper science experiment attempting to develop physical attributes of the body to withstand the possible harsh nature of Centauri-Earth. The girl is harmless, though simple, and prone to lying. She is easily confused and poorly suited to labor; therefore she will remain in the Ward. You are not required nor expected to interact with her at all. She is a freak, and should be treated as such.”

My fists clench. A freak, is she? The result of a crazy Shipper science experiment? Well, that is believable—the Shipper scientists spend most of their time coming up with new things that will protect us in whatever kind of environment Centauri-Earth provides. Still, it’s clear Eldest is trying to cover up Amy’s real origins and keep her away from most people.

I shake with anger as Doc releases me, but there’s no point. Eldest is done. I turn and head back to the elevator, back to Amy.

27

AMY

“WHAT I DON’T UNDERSTAND,” I SAY, “IS WHY YOU’RE ALL HERE.”

“What ya mean?” one of the men says. He has a guitar on his lap, an old acoustic relic.

“Harley said you all were crazy. He said this was a mental hospital.”

“Ah, we’re not crazy,” the guitar player says. His accent is thicker than the others; I can barely understand him.

“We are.” This is the woman who had originally scooted away from me. Harley called her Victria, said she wrote stories. She has an ancient-looking book in her hand—a real book bound in leather, not an electronic thing. I wonder where she got it. “The only thing keeping us close to sane is the mental meds,” Victria adds.

“You might be crazy,” says the guitar player in a joking tone, “but I’m not.”

“You are,” says Harley. “She is. I am. We all are here.”

“But you’re not,” I insist.

“Speak for yourself.”

“No, I mean it! You’re not. You don’t act crazy. None of you do.”

Harley smiles. “I’ll count that as a compliment. After all—” he starts, but then he cocks his head to the left, as if he’s listening to something.

“What?” I ask.

“Shh,” says Victria.

I look around the room. All of them, they’ve all got their heads tilted, each appearing to listen deeply to something.

“An all-call,” the guitar player says under his breath. “Eldest hasn’t done one since our Elder died.”

“
Shh!
” Victria hisses.

My eyes bounce from person to person. Each one in the psych ward, patient or nurse, is listening intensely.

It’s eerie, the way they’ve all stopped to listen to something I can’t hear. Everyone around me is still and silent, but I jump up and pace around the crowded room, waiting for the spell to break, waiting for everyone else to return to my world.

“Load of shite,” Harley says in an offhand manner. They all start to straighten up, readjust their focus. Whatever they’d been listening to is gone now.

“What is?” I ask.

Harley looks at me, and for the first time, there is no smile in his eyes.

“Nothing,” he says.

Victria mutters a word, a single syllable, but I can’t hear it.

“What?” I say, an unbidden edge to my voice.

She looks me square in the eyes. “Freak.”

“Victria!” the guitar player says.

She whirls around on him. “You heard Eldest! She is a freak! And here she’s been lying to us all this whole time,
lying
. Saying she’s from Sol-Earth! Telling us of wide spans of land, of an unending sky! She’s madder than all of us—why do you think Eldest brought her here? With her
lies
.” She spits the word out. “Telling us she’s seen Sol-Earth! How dare she? How dare you!” She turns on me, cold hatred in her eyes.

“Calm down, Victria. She’s simple. Damaged. She doesn’t know what she’s saying,” says the guitar player.

“What are you talking about?” I back away.

“Don’t tell me about a sky that never ends,” she says, her voice low. “Don’t ever tell me about that sort of thing. Don’t even talk about it. There is no sky. Only a metal roof.”

I flinch at the harshness of her words, but just before she whirls away from me and runs down the hall, I see that there are tears glistening in her eyes.

“What is going on?” I ask. I turn in a circle around the room. With the exception of Harley, they all stare at me with the same contempt and bitter anger that Victria spewed forth.

“Come on,” Harley says, standing up. “Let’s go back to your room.”

“Why? I don’t understand. What’s going on?”

“Come on,” Harley says, and he leads me through the silent stares and out of the hostile room.

28

ELDER

WHEN I GET OFF THE ELEVATOR, THE TALKING DROPS TO A whisper. It’s not hard to guess what they’re discussing. I leave them with their whispers and lies. I don’t care what they think. I want to know what Amy thinks.

There is a brown stain just outside her door: the crushed remains of the flowers I’d left for her.

I knock. “Come in,” a deep male voice says. Harley. My stomach lurches. I run my finger on the door release button, and the door slides open.

Amy sits before her window, gazing out. The light shines on her upturned face, spilling over on her red-gold hair, making her clear green eyes sparkle. I stare, unable to tear my gaze from her.

“Beautiful, huh?” Harley says. He’s rearranged the desk so that it’s not leaning against the wall; instead it is cockeyed in front of Amy, with his table-easel propped on top. A small canvas leans against the easel, and Harley has already sketched out the scene before him with charcoal.

“You quit painting the fish?” I ask, hoping the bitterness doesn’t sound as obvious to them as it does to me.

“Yup!” Harley chirps. He dabs a tiny bit of blue on Amy’s painted face, giving her a hint of a shadow under her lips. “Funnily enough, I’m using almost the exact same colors on her as I was on the koi. Hey!” he adds, peeking from behind the canvas to Amy, “that’s your new name: from now on, you’re my Little Fish!”

Amy laughs cheerily at her new nickname, but I am glowering at Harley for calling her “his.” It’s true, though: her red-gold-orange-yellow hair is the same color as the scales on Harley’s koi fish.

“So, Little Fish, ignore the boy and tell me about the sky.”

My back stiffens at how Harley calls me “boy.” I want to punch him. I
really
want to punch him, even if he is my best friend.

“The stars were my favorite, ever since I was little and my parents would take me to the observatory.”

I’m not sure what an
observatory
is, but I do know this much: Amy’s first memory of seeing stars is with her family, and mine is with a dead man.

Amy looks at me, and I’m glad she can’t tell what I’m thinking. She picks at the meat pie on a napkin in her lap, and pops a piece in her mouth. She swallows it quickly, then drops the rest of the pie in the trash chute. She and Harley must have eaten here, instead of in the Ward cafeteria. Good. I can only imagine how the Ward residents are treating her after Eldest’s all-call. She takes a sip of water from the glass beside her and winces.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Headache,” she says. “So, will you tell me what happened to make everyone think I’m a freak?”

“You didn’t tell her?” I ask Harley.

“Of course I didn’t,” Harley growls, stabbing his canvas with his paintbrush. “Why would I insult her with such lies?”

Part of me is very glad that Amy doesn’t know what Eldest has said. But Harley has always been this way, for as long as I’ve known him: he thinks ignorance is the best way to protect someone, and he doesn’t understand that what we imagine is often worse than the truth.

“Will you tell me?”

I look up, and Amy’s eyes draw me in. “It was Eldest,” I say. “He sent out an all-call to everyone about you.” I pause.
Does she know what an all-call is?
“A, er, message. He sent everyone a message. About you.” I pause again, unable to meet her big green eyes. “It was mostly lies.”

Amy senses my hesitance to continue. “What kind of lies?” she asks.

“That you’re the product of an experiment gone wrong, and you’re, uh, simple. Slow.” I pause again. “A freak.”

Amy’s face scrunches as she absorbs this information. I can tell, from the distaste curling her lips, that she has met Eldest and can probably guess what it is he said. “Ah,” she finally says, and turns back to the window. Harley straightens up, stares at her face again, and then turns back to his canvas. He is shaping her sadness onto the painted image of her face.

“So, there were lots of stars in the sky?” Harley asks, turning to the nighttime sky in the background of the painting. The word “stars” is heavy on his tongue, as if he’s not used to the idea of them.

“Millions,” Amy says. “Billions.” There is longing in her voice.

Harley flicks silver paint on the canvas.

“But,” I say, leaning over Harley’s canvas, “they’re scattered about, not so clustered together. Spread them out more. And they’re different sizes. Some are bigger; some are just tiny specks.”

It is as if I have done something foul in the room. Harley turns slowly toward me. Amy’s eyes are wide.

“You’ve seen the stars?” Harley’s voice accuses me.

“I...er...”

Amy’s eyes search mine, and I know she’s looking for starshine in them.

“Just once,” I say.

“
How?
” Harley breathes.

“There’s a hatch door. For the dead.”

Amy’s head snaps toward mine.

“Where is it?” Harley asks, an eager tone in his voice that reminds me of the last time he had what Doc called a “downward spiral.”

“It’s not on the Feeder Level.”

Harley sinks in on himself. He’s not one of the select few with access to the other levels and has spent his entire life here, on the Feeder Level.

“Can we see it?” Amy asks. “Can we see the stars?”

And, oh, I want to show her. I want to show her, but not him, not now, not with her. I want to be the one to give Amy back her stars.

But what would Eldest say? What would Eldest do? To me? To her?

“No,” I say. “Eldest wouldn’t like it.”

Amy’s eyes narrow into pinpricks of jade. “I met Eldest,” she says, disgust dripping from her voice.

Harley snorts, and Amy turns her glare on him. Eldest is not a laughing matter to her.

“What in the uni could he have said to make you not like him?” He laughs.

“You know that hatch Elder was talking about?” Amy holds back the rage in her voice, like a man holding back a snarling dog on a leash. “He wanted to throw me out of it, just so I wouldn’t create a ‘disturbance’ on the ship.”

Harley laughs. “He wouldn’t do that!”

Amy doesn’t crack a smile.

“Yes, he would,” I say. Harley’s laughter dies and he looks at me.

“Maybe he said something as a threat, but he’d never—”

“Yes,” I say as firmly as I can. “He would.”

Harley attacks the canvas with paint again, a frown creasing his forehead.

“He doesn’t like ‘disturbances,’” I tell Amy. “He doesn’t like anyone to be different at all. Difference, he says, is the first cause of discord.”

“He sounds like a regular Hitler to me,” Amy mutters. I wonder what she means by that. Eldest has always taught me that Hitler was a wise, cultured leader for his people. Maybe that’s what she means: Eldest is a strong leader, like Hitler was. The turn of phrase is unusual, another difference between us, another difference I’m sure Eldest would hate.

Amy hops up from her seat at the window. She twirls her hair into a quick bun and secures it with two dry brushes she snatches from the desk before Harley can protest. She paces the room, an animal unsatisfied with the smallness of her cage.

Harley snorts again, but images flash in my mind: Eldest, walking throughout the Feeder Level, showing all the farmers and workers his kind-grandfather face, and then going up to the Keeper Level with me, and snarling with distaste at their stupidity. Eldest, pounding lessons into me that stressed control above all else. Eldest, revulsion souring his face when I first came to the Keeper Level and did anything out of the ordinary. In my mind’s eye, Eldest’s face is growing twisted, just like I suspect his soul has become.

And I realize that, yes, this man who I have lived with for three years, who is leader of this entire ship, whose control over everyone on board is absolute... this man is capable of killing whomever, whenever.

He
could
have. “But why would he?” I ask.

“Dunno. And—why
me
? I’m not important. Why try to kill me?”

Harley’s brush is paused midair. Silence permeates the little room.

“You weren’t the only one,” I say, my words like arrows slicing through the air. “A man was killed. That’s where I saw the hatch—I was helping Doc and Elder send the body to the stars.”

“Who?” Amy breathes, terror in her voice.

“Mr. William Robertson.”

“I didn’t know him.” Amy sounds relieved. It is only then that I realize she was afraid it was one of her parents floating dead amongst the stars.