Act of Will (55 page)

‘Oh yes, it is.’

They walked on in silence, much to Christina’s relief. She was preoccupied with her business and wondered whether to stop in at Bruton Street for a few minutes to talk to Alex and Giselle about the winter collection now being produced. She decided against it. Her parents, Janey and her husband Simon, and the Sedgewicks would be arriving around six-thirty, and it was already four. Better perhaps to get back to Eaton Square.

She was thinking about her dress for the evening when she saw him getting out of a chauffeur-driven car ahead.

Her step faltered for a split second but she went on walking at the snail’s pace Kyle always adopted.

He swung away from the car, made to go up the steps into a house when something made him turn his head, look down the street in her direction. He saw her immediately. He stopped in the middle of the pavement, staring at her, amazement flooding his face. He stood stock still, as if immobilized by shock, and she realized he was waiting for her.

And then he began to walk, very slowly, towards her, his eyes riveted on her face.

How extraordinary, he hasn’t changed at all in eight years, Christina thought. A little greyer at the temples, but he looks exactly the same as he always did. He was a very famous man now. The Labour Party had won the last general election in 1964 and he was a minister—very important in the British Government. Some said he would rise to be Prime Minister one day. Candida had divorced him six years ago to marry some impoverished Frenchman with a grand title, a duke or a count, she wasn’t sure. Occasionally she saw his name linked to various women in the columns but he had never remarried.

As they drew closer Christina’s heart began to thunder and her mouth went dry.

‘Hello, Christina,’ he said softly when they finally stood in front of each other.

‘Miles—’ She could not say anything else for a moment. She was blinded by the blue radiance of his eyes, deafened by the noise in her chest. At last she managed, ‘It’s lovely to see you after all these years.’

‘Yes… eight years, Christie, a long time.’

‘Yes. Congratulations, Miles… on all of your wonderful successes, becoming a cabinet minister.’

‘And yours, Christina. I see your name wherever I look—perfume, clothes, sunglasses, lingerie, hats—’ Miles was overcome. He held himself still, afraid that he would grasp her arm, drag her with him to some place, any place, where they could be alone, where he could take her in his arms and tell her how much he still loved her.

Neither of them could move on, or tear their eyes from each other. Time stood still for them both.

A thousand memories flooded her mind and as she looked at him she knew he was remembering so many things himself.

‘Mommy.’

The child’s voice broke the spell.

Miles looked down. He cleared his throat. ‘I’m Miles. What’s your name?’ he asked in his resonant voice, offering her his hand.

She took it, smiled up at him, her little cheeks dimpling. ‘I’m Kyle.’

‘How old are you, Kyle?’

‘I’m six.’

He lifted his head. ‘Oh Christie—’

She saw the pain in his eyes and the sudden glitter of tears. And there was such yearning on his lean, intelligent face she knew then that he had never stopped loving her and that he was thinking of their child, the one she had
lost. And she knew too that he had never remarried because of her.

Christina’s eyes brimmed. ‘Miles, oh Miles,’ she said and her voice trembled.

‘Don’t,’ he said, sounding as shaky as she, putting his hand on her arm. ‘Oh please don’t, my dear, it’s hard enough for me to bear. Take care of yourself, Christie… goodbye, Kyle.’

He pivoted and walked back to the house where his car was parked, and sprang up the steps. And she waited until the door had closed behind him before she started to walk again.

‘Why are you crying, Mommy?’

‘I’m not.’

‘Yes, you are.’

‘It’s the wind in my eyes.’

‘There isn’t a wind, Mommy.’

‘I’m taller than you, and up here there’s a wind.’

‘Oh.’

‘Let’s find a taxi,’ Christina exclaimed, brushing her wet cheeks with her fingertips, hurrying her daughter forward.

***

‘You promised to tell me about Grandma’s present when we got home,’ Kyle said immediately they entered the flat in Eaton Square.

Christina looked down at her, nodded. ‘Yes, Kyle, that’s quite true, I did. However, I didn’t say what
time
I would tell you. You’ll know when Grandma knows—later this evening.’

‘That’s not fair!’

At this moment, Nanny Fraser, the lovely Scotswoman who looked after Kyle, appeared in the entrance foyer and scooped Kyle up and off to the nursery.

Christina went down the hall and through into her bedroom, dropped her handbag on the bed, and crossed to the adjoining bathroom. She locked the door, turned on the taps in the washbasin, found a hand towel and buried her face in it. And then she leaned against the wall and sobbed and sobbed until there were no tears left inside her. She wept for the child she had lost, the love she had lost. And she wept for Miles, whom she had once loved with all of her heart, for his loneliness and for the tragedy of his life and for all that he had missed with her.

Eventually, when she was calm, she washed her face and pulled herself together, and went out to the bedroom to re-do her makeup and dress for her mother’s birthday dinner. Earlier that day she had selected a mauve silk dress and matching mauve silk shoes, and all of the opals that Miles had given her. They went so well with the lilac colours. And now as she held them in her hands she thought how odd it was that she had chosen to wear them tonight, had taken them out of the safe that very morning. She had never bumped into Miles in all the years she had been travelling back and forth between London and New York.

Once she was dressed, Christina left the bedroom, hurried in the direction of the living room to inspect it before their guests arrived. In the entrance hall she heard Kyle’s shrill voice echoing from Alex’s study and she walked across to it, stood in the doorway. And Kyle was saying, ‘And after he left us, Mommy started to cry.’

Alex looked up, smiled. But his eyes were momentarily perplexed as he came towards her. ‘Hello, my Chris-Chris,’ he said. ‘You’re looking beautiful tonight. Very beautiful.’

She met him half way, stretched out her hands to his,
looked up into his face, loving him with her eyes. She was so glad she was married to this man.

He kissed her cheek, turned to his child. ‘Hey, little poppet, shouldn’t you run along and get changed? Grandpa and Grandma will be here any minute.’

Once they were alone, Alex took her in his arms and held her very tightly. He said against her luxuriant hair, ‘So you finally ran into Miles Sutherland, after all these years.’

‘Yes.’ There was a small silence. She said, ‘I felt so sad for him, Alex. That’s why I cried after he left, it was for no other reason.’

‘I realize that, Christie. I suspect he’s a lonely man, in spite of all the glory and the power.’

‘Yes.’ And then she murmured, ‘It really is the only reason, you know.’

Alex held her away from him, smiled and shook his head. ‘Do you think I don’t know where I stand with you after seven years of marriage?’

***

‘Was it Miles?’ Jane asked, looking at her intently. ‘The man who you ran into this afternoon?’

Christina nodded and pursed her lips. ‘So she’s told you as well, the little monkey… she’s told your parents too, I think.’

Jane squeezed her arm. ‘Don’t be annoyed with her, Christie darling. You know what children are like, and anyway, no one’s paid any attention.’

Christina laughed hollowly. ‘Want to bet?’ She drew Jane closer to the window and edged her out onto the terrace of the penthouse. ‘My mother came up to me a little while ago, and asked me who we ran into this afternoon. Then she had the nerve to ask me if I was happy with Alex.’

‘You are, aren’t you?’ Jane suddenly looked worried. ‘You don’t still hanker after Miles, do you?’

‘Oh Christ, Janey, how can you of all people ask a question like that. You know how much I adore Alex. I have the best marriage in the world, the best of everything.’ Christina took a sip of champagne, eyed Jane carefully and said, ‘Now it’s my turn to ask you a question, one that’s been on the tip of my tongue for years… what did you ever have against poor Miles. You were always so down on him.’

Jane gave her a small shamefaced smile. ‘I think I was rather attracted to him and furious because he never paid me a blind bit of notice. And then when he started chasing after you I was worried, Christie. I really thought you were going to be hurt.’ Jane dropped her voice. ‘And you were.’

‘Not irreparably, I wasn’t.’

‘Thank God.’ Jane walked to the edge of the terrace, looked down at the leafy gardens in the centre of Eaton Square, then turned, leaned against the terrace railing. ‘Everything’s all right with Simon and me again, Christie. It was all a storm in a tea cup last week… well, you were forever cautioning me about marrying an actor.’

Christina smiled, took hold of her arm, drew her back towards the French windows. ‘I knew it would be fine. Now I think we’d better go inside. I know Alex wants me to say my little piece to Mummy, and then we’ll give her our present, so that we can pack Miss Tattle Tale off to bedibyes.’

***

Alex cleared his throat, and said, ‘Could we possibly have a little quiet please? Christie has something to say.’

Everyone stopped talking and Christina walked into the centre of the room, leading Kyle by the hand. The
child, wearing one of her best party frocks, was carrying a gift-wrapped box.

Christina smiled at her guests and then her eyes settled on Audra. She said, ‘I had an idea last year, Mummy, and I confided it to Alex. He loved it as much as I did… it was an idea for this year’s birthday present for you… from us three. It comes with all of our love, and we hope you’re going to enjoy it as much as we believed you would when we bought it for you a few months ago.’

Kyle looked up at her mother and Christina nodded. ‘Yes, go along, Kyle, give our gift to Grandma.’

‘Here you are, Gran,’ the child said, offering her the box, and then she put her arms around Audra’s neck and kissed her cheek. She leaned against her grandmother, said, ‘Please hurry up and open it, Gran, ’cos they didn’t tell me what it is… Mummy says I can’t keep secrets.’

Everyone laughed.

Audra, her face flushed with happiness, untied the blue ribbon, pulled off the crinkly silver paper, and lifted the lid. She stared inside the box and then frowned. ‘What is it?’ she asked, throwing Alex and her daughter a puzzled stare as she took out the old iron key. She glanced at Vincent sitting next to her. ‘Do you know what this key’s for?’ she asked her husband.

Vincent shook his head, although he knew very well. He had been in on the secret right from the outset and was very much a part of it all.

Christina said, ‘It’s the key to your new house, Mummy… yours and Daddy’s. Alex and I have bought High Cleugh for you. That’s your birthday present… your childhood home.’

Audra opened her mouth. No sound came out. She looked at the key in her hand, then at Vincent, and she pushed herself up off the sofa unsteadily. She had paled
and her eyes were exceptionally bright as she went to her daughter and son-in-law. She shook her head, glanced once more at the key.

‘I never thought I would ever hold this key in my hand again… thank you, Christie and Alex, thank you so much for giving me back that house… it has always meant so much to me.’ She reached out and took hold of Christina’s arm, afraid that her legs were about to give way under her. And then she smiled at her daughter and the tears welled up and she leaned into her and whispered, ‘Oh darling, thank you, thank you.’ And then Audra smiled and she went on smiling all night.

***

Christina rested her head against Alex’s bare chest and listened to him breathing lightly, smoothing her hand along his arm.

‘Do you think Mummy enjoyed her birthday dinner, and that she’s excited about owning High Cleugh?’

Alex smiled. ‘Yes, to both of those questions. In fact, I think excited is far too mild a word… how about ecstatic or overwhelmed?’

Christina laughed, wrapped her legs around him. ‘Oh Alex, it was a lovely evening, thanks for helping to make it possible.’

He said nothing, stroked her hair, held her head against him tenderly. He loved his wife so very much. He had from the first moment he had set eyes on her in New York, at that party of Janey’s. He had looked across the room at her and his heart had jumped and he had known he was going to marry her. She was so good and decent and open and honest: there wasn’t a bad bone in her body. Suddenly he wished his child had not carried home tales about this afternoon’s encounter. He would have preferred not to know that Christina had run into Miles
Sutherland. All that had been over so long ago, but he hated the thought that she had set eyes on him again. Miles had caused her so much pain in the past. Then he chastised himself for being so selfish. It was better he knew, just in case Christie wanted to talk, to spill out her thoughts. She had never told him much about Miles, but he had known in Paris on their honeymoon that the man had had a deep effect on her and that she had loved Miles. But then he had loved another woman before he had married Christie. Everyone came with a history and a past. But he didn’t suppose Christie would say much to him about the British politician. She was secretive about Miles, and yet she shared her thoughts and feelings on everything else. They communicated,
shared
, that was one of the reasons they had such a good marriage; it was also the reason why they worked so well in business together. They were a good team, the best team. He had taken the House of Christina and made it into an international business worth billions. She had the artistic talent, he had the business acumen, and by licensing her name she had become bigger than ever. He didn’t care about that… he cared that Christie was happy… that they had a good relationship, a good marriage…

‘Are you happy with me?’