Acting Up (44 page)

“So you did,” Julia said. She leaned down and kissed him. “Yes, yes, yes.”

A cheer went up just as Seth stood, wrapping his arms around Julia and twirling her around. Then the crowd pressed in to congratulate them.

Ethan watched from the sidelines. Seth looked… complete. It was the only word Ethan could come up with to describe the emotion etched on his friend's face.

A sharp bite of envy poked at his sense of happiness. Over the years, the two of them had traded miseries and even wept together a few times. Ethan couldn't feel anything other than joy at seeing Seth find his way back to life, but at the same time, Addison's absence clawed at him even more.

Finally, Ethan got a chance to speak to the newly engaged couple. “Congratulations, you two.” He hugged Julia. “I'm not sure what you see in this guy, but I do know he's gotten the better end of the bargain.”

“Oh, I know it,” Seth said, with a wide grin.

Julia giggled then turned to Ethan with a frown. “What shall we do about you and Addison now?”

“Seriously?” Ethan said, exasperation coloring his tone. “You too?”

“Seems like it's going to take everyone in town riding your tail in order to get you to
do
something.”

“Just what am I supposed to do?” he asked, his temper starting to build. “I let Addison go because it was what she wanted, and I'll learn to live with that. I have to.”

“You and Seth. Both cut from the same cloth.” A huff escaped Julia's lips. “Always trying to do the right thing. Seth trying to save souls and you trying to save future generations. Maybe just this once, you could try not being so noble and self-sacrificing.”

“What do you mean?”

“Julia, maybe this isn't the best time,” Seth said, touching his newly minted fiancée's arm.

“You're supposed to say you want her and will never let her go, no matter what,” she said, ignoring Seth and focusing on Ethan. “You're supposed to chase her down, drag her back, do whatever you have to. You're supposed to
not give up
.”

“She's in California,” Ethan said in a fury. “You know… where her career is?”

Suddenly, Julia's expression softened, and she leaned closer. “Then what are
you
doing
here
?”

Ethan reeled a little. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” she said. “What are you doing here if the woman you love has to be in California?”

For a moment, all sound receded as the enormity of her suggestion slammed into him like a tidal wave. “I can't leave my home,” he said. “My sons' home. My family's here, and my job.”

“Your home should be wherever
Addison
is,” Julia said. “There are schools all over the country, in case you've forgotten. And I bet your family would rejoice in your going, if it meant you no longer wandered around like the walking dead.”

Seth finally took charge of his errant love, clamping an arm around her shoulders. “Julia's a little over-excited right now.” He kissed his fiancée on the lips. “Leave Ethan alone. He'll figure it out.”

“Because he's done so well at it so far?” Julia drawled.

“Go… let everyone else congratulate you,” Seth said, giving her a push.

Julia pouted but walked away, pausing only to mouth
do something
at Ethan one more time.

“She can be passionate,” Seth said.

“No kidding,” Ethan said, swiping a hand across his face.

“She's not entirely wrong, though.”

A dark, dirty curse word erupted.

“I know.” Seth laughed. “But let me just say one thing. I understand what it's like to lose the love of your life and then be offered something more incredible than you ever imagined. I also know how terrifying it can be. I wasn't able to let myself love Julia until I let go of my Beth. You're going to have to let go of Jenny if you ever hope to move on… with anyone. You don't have to let go of your memories, but you do have to move them aside so someone else can be let in.”

So saying, he patted Ethan on the shoulder and walked away.

Ethan abandoned the party a few minutes later. He couldn't take one more question or comment or word of advice.

He was done.

The babysitter, a teenager who lived across the street, had already put the boys to bed when Ethan got home. He dismissed the girl and turned off the downstairs lights. With the twins asleep, the house was dark and quiet. The silence seemed to creep into every corner and crevice. Ethan would have preferred to have Jason and Carson making a racket. No time for thinking or feeling when the twins were up to their usual tricks. No way for him to outrun thoughts of Addison or stop the images of her teasing smile and sarcastic mouth.

Or stop from becoming a sniveling idiot, apparently.

Disgusted with himself, Ethan made a detour into the boys' room. Carson had flung his comforter onto the floor, so Ethan tucked his son in again. Meanwhile, Jason had managed to do a flip-flop, with his head now at the foot of the bed.

Even in their sleep, his little guys were never still.

Righting the sleeping gymnast took only a second. The boy didn't even stir. Ethan was straightening the covers when his gaze landed on the nightstand. The familiar picture of Jenny with the twins remained, but now a new photograph featuring Addison with the boys had taken up prominence in the center.

It must have been taken at the bowling tournament because Ethan could see part of a lane behind them. The twins had their arms wrapped around Addison's neck, nearly crushing her in their enthusiasm, but she didn't seem to mind. Heart wrenching anew, Ethan reached for the frame. They'd been so happy. How could she be gone? And how was he supposed to survive without her now?

Being noble blew big, fat chunks.

“Daddy?” Jason whispered suddenly in a dreamy, faraway voice.

Ethan nearly jumped out of his skin at the unexpected sound. Stifling an instinctive oath, he dropped the photo onto the nightstand like a thief caught red-handed with a stolen necklace.

“Hey, buddy, didn't mean to wake you,” Ethan said, keeping his voice low and soothing. “Go back to sleep.”

“I miss her, too,” Jason said, his eyes flitting to the nightstand.

“Mommy?”

The boy shook his head. “No, Addison. She was real pretty and fun.”

Ethan's heart stopped. “Yeah.” Only pretty and fun didn't even come close to describing her. Addison was beautiful. And smart. And sweet, even though she tried to hide it.

“Do you think she'll come back?” Jason asked.

Ethan swallowed the lump in his throat. “I don't know, buddy.”

“Maybe we could go see her? I bet she'd like it.”

Would she? Or would the famous Addison Covington act like she'd never been here? She might have forgotten them already. After all, what could they offer when she had the whole world at her feet? What could
he
offer?

Ethan tucked the covers around Jason's small body. “Go back to sleep, Jas.”

“Daddy?” This time the inquiry came from the opposite side of the room.

Great. Now both of them were awake.

“Yeah?” Ethan said, crossing to Carson.

“Do you think Mommy sent Addison to us?” Carson asked.

“What?” Stunned, Ethan dropped onto the bed. All thoughts of shushing them back to sleep disappeared.

Jason propped himself up on his elbow. “Me and Carson figured Mommy must've asked God to send somebody.”

“So we won't be sad no more,” Carson chimed in. “Do ya think that's what happened?”

Would Jenny have played celestial matchmaker?

Ethan glanced at her picture again. Sweet, gentle, selfless Jenny. Who'd stayed with him after his career-ending injury. When he'd gone back to school, and they'd struggled to make ends meet. Who'd never lost hope they'd one day hold their baby.

Outside, the wind kicked up. A huge tree branch swayed, causing moonlight to flicker across the glass in the frame. A trick of the light made it seem like Jenny was winking at him. A fist curled into Ethan's gut as he stared.

Stared at a woman who would never want him to live half a life. A woman who wouldn't want him to hold on to a house full of old memories, but to live in the present.

“Daddy?” Carson said.

“Yeah, buddy?”

“It's okay if we love Mommy
and
Addison, right?”

Jason had hopped out of his bed by this point. “Duh,” he said, snuggling up with his brother. “If Mommy sent her, it's gotta be.”

I am such an idiot.

How had his sons figured it out when he hadn't been able to think beyond doing the right thing? There was room in his heart for Addison and Jenny.

Julia's question came back to him with a whoosh of expectation.

What am I doing here? Why can't I follow Addison? What is holding me back?

The answer, of course, was nothing but his stupid pride and fear.

“Thank you,” Ethan said. He kissed his sons and tucked them in together.

“For what, Daddy?” came the twins' response, their green eyes gazing back at him as if they trusted him to make everything all right. Hopefully, things would be all right, because Ethan finally knew what to do.

“For being such smart kids. Shut your eyes and go to sleep now. I'll see you in the morning.”

Ethan stayed with them until they settled in. Until their breathing slowed. Until he could see past the tears welling in his eyes.

He stood and went to the nightstand. This time he picked up Jenny's framed photo. Peace flooded through him. A sensation he hadn't felt since a blue casket had lowered into the ground.

“And thank you.” Ethan traced the glass. “Night, sweetheart.”

He put the picture back and walked away.

“Ms. Covington, it's a pleasure to meet you finally,” Bobby Keith said, as he came forward, hand outstretched.

The man who'd produced three hit television series and won four Emmys was a wiry little guy with a shock of black hair and obsidian eyes. Energy radiated off him like a supernova.

“Thank you,” she said, flashing her trademark Addison Covington smile. “It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Keith.”

“Please, call me Bobby.”

“Then I'm Addison.”

He turned and indicated the other people in the room. Two more men and a woman stood around a large wooden table. “This is my team.”

Bobby gestured to the closest man. He was in his early sixties and had salt-and-pepper hair. He was wearing a suit Addison recognized as Merrick's favorite label.

“This is Ed Francis, another one of the producers,” Bobby said. “And Holden Corbin is my head scriptwriter.”

By contrast, Holden was in his early 30s and dressed in the creative man's business suit of dark, crisp blue jeans and button-down striped shirt. No tie.

Bobby reached the lone female. “Joan Mathers, my business partner.” He leaned closer. “The money handler.”

Addison chuckled on cue. “Nice to meet all of you.” She gestured to the woman by her side. “Of course, you know my agent, Shirley Bascom.”

Another round of hand shaking ensued, and then Bobby Keith signaled for everyone to take his or her places at the table.

“Before we get down to the boring end of business, I want to say how thrilled I am to get the chance to work with you Addison,” Bobby said with a warm smile.

“Thank you.”

“When I started developing the concept for this show, I actually had you in mind for the part of Serena Ireland. I knew we needed someone with the right amount of power and sensuality. At the time, of course, you were otherwise engaged. Now, we're all in a different place.”

“You're not worried about any bad press associated with hiring me, I take it?”

“Old news,” Bobby said, with a dismissive wave. “You're a heroine now. The way you saved the day for those poor children.”

“They weren't starving refugees.”

He gave another moot point dismissal.

“Close enough. Besides, any kind of publicity is good for a new show trying to stand out from the pack. You're perfect in every way.”

The other three members of his team nodded their heads in tandem.

“So, I suppose we should get to the boring part,” Bobby said, clapping his hands together. “I assume your agent has discussed the terms with you?”

Addison glanced at Shirley, who lowered her chin in a clear do-it-now gesture.
Right. Get to it.
“Yes, everything seems to be perfect.”

“Wonderful. All that's left to do is sign your life away.”

Sign her life away. Like signing her own death warrant. Addison shook off the attack of nerves and forced a smile.

Joan, the money lady, slid a long document across the table. Shirley snatched the contract up and skimmed it before giving a crisp nod.

Bobby handed Addison a pen.

“Oh! Wait.”

She reached into her purse for her lucky pen. The same one Addison had used the day she signed on for
House of Fashion
. Her fingers brushed a folded up piece of paper that had been shoved in the pocket.