Adam’s Boys (16 page)

At this Adam threw a look of panic at Abbie, but it was too late. The blood was already draining from her face and her head was swimming. She moved to the nearest chair and lowered herself onto it, staring blindly into nothingness as she clutched her bathrobe around her.

The final bell had tolled. If she hadn't been such a fool, she would have heard it a lot earlier. Adam's hopes and plans were all about himself, Pete and Henry. Once again she was being stripped for parts, relevant to the extent that she was Henry's mother and not one jot more. Adam would have to deal with her until Henry was of age, but then she'd become obsolete in her son's life—permanently.

With an involuntary sob of overwhelming unhappiness she pictured herself in the distant future as she grew old alone, her son ensconced within his father's glittering family in England, lost to her forever.

“Abbie, don't jump to conclusions,” Adam counselled firmly as though he could read her mind. He'd squatted in front of her and taken her hand but she pulled it away in slow revulsion.

“Don't touch me,” she whispered.

“This is not what you think,” he murmured. “Damn it, Kate!” he exploded, turning to his sister-in-law. “Why did you have to come here this morning?”

“I'm glad she did,” Abbie replied coldly. “Now I know where I stand. Now I know how relevant to your plans I am.”

“It's only a school application form. It doesn't mean anything,” Adam argued, reaching up to try and cup her face so that she would look at him but she shied away. She'd fallen for that trap before. Once she looked at him he would start to get under her skin, and she would never let that happen again.

“It means everything,” Abbie declared wretchedly. “It sums up what this is all about.”

“That's not true,” Adam argued as he ran a hand through his hair in patent frustration.

“Oh really? When have you ever thought about what I might want or need?”

“Don't turn this into a test. Our situation is difficult in anyone's books.”

“Difficult! I haven't even started on difficult yet!” Abbie threw at him ominously. “What if I were to tell you that I have no intention of changing my life to accommodate yours? How would that work in your grand plan?”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Adam scoffed. “We have to compromise and work together. You can't simply refuse to discuss options for Henry's future with me.”

“Yes I can, because you don't know the meaning of compromise. All you know is what's best for Adam Cooper. But things are going to be different from now on. You can tell me what you want for Henry, without trying to manipulate me. Then I'll tell you what I'm prepared to do. And don't threaten me with the Family Court because I may very well call your bluff.”

“When have I ever manipulated you?” Adam retorted in disgust as he got to his feet and began to pace the kitchen with jerky steps as though half demented.

Abbie laughed bitterly. “The day you gave me no choice but to move in with you; the day you asked me to be Pete's guardian; and last night when you followed me into this cottage with one thing on your mind—all of it was planned to achieve one thing: soften me up for Henry's move here.”

“I didn't hear you asking me to leave last night!”

“Leaving? What a good idea,” Kate declared loudly from her silent corner of the kitchen. “I'll see you up at the house, Adam.”

“No you won't, Kate!” Abbie snapped angrily and shot to her feet. “You've treated me like dirt from the moment you walked in this morning—not that I care because your opinion's nothing to me. But if you think I'm going to stand by and let you loose on my son then you can forget it. I'm not having you size
him
up as the progeny of Satan, and I won't allow you in his presence unless Adam or I are there too. Is that clear?” Abbie barked in final confirmation.

“Crystal,” Kate replied crisply with a toss of her head. “I'll wait in my car until Adam is free then.” With that Kate disappeared out of the kitchen before the reverberations of the front door slamming shook the whole house.

“Abbie, now that Kate's gone we can sort this out,” he murmured imploringly, taking steps towards her and reaching for her shoulders. But she held out her hand to block him, all the while wanting to sink into his arms and pretend Kate's visit had been nothing more than a bad dream.

“Don't look at me with those bedroom eyes. The whole seduction thing is over. I know you thought that if you could turn me into a lovesick puppy again then I'd agree to everything you want for Henry. But you're going to have to deal with me on my terms now—not yours. I don't care how important you are to world peace, global financial stability or anything else!”

“Abbie, listen,” Adam pleaded, an impatient edge creeping into his voice. “Believe me on this, even if you don't believe anything else I say. What happened last night was not because I wanted to soften you up, manipulate you, or anything else. It happened because we both wanted it to happen.”

“Just like what happened when I let you kiss me outside Justin's apartment the night I met you. And look what happened to me then!” Abbie spat back, marching to the window on the other side of the kitchen in a desperate attempt to escape his magnetic pull upon her. “And even if what you say is true—and I don't believe it is—it doesn't change the fact that it's been all about your needs from the first hour we were reunited. Not once have you asked me what I might want or need.”

“I always assumed you'd want what's best for Henry,” Adam railed at her.

“And I suppose that's what the application for Eton is all about?”

“That's exactly what Eton is about. Although he's young, Henry's gifts are already emerging. Forgive me if I assumed you'd want every opportunity for him to explore those.”

“There's more to life than rubbing shoulders with the sons of bankers and politicians at a posh English public school.”

“You know that's not what I meant. You're being obtuse. If Henry grows up here, he'll have all kinds of opportunities to make a real contribution to the world, as will Pete. My family can give them the spring board they need—you know that.”

“You see!” Abbie retorted in a shrill tone as she swung around to face him with a bitter laugh. “That's the difference between you and me. I still look on Henry as the master of his own destiny. But you, you're already signing it away to the world, just as you've signed your own life away.”

“That's completely unfair!” Adam replied incensed.

“But it's true. And I will fight you tooth and nail to make sure that Henry's not swallowed up by the Cooper juggernaut. When he makes his own choices in life, it will be because they come from passion and instincts and feeling, not from years of cold-hearted drilling and expectation.”

“And that's what you think I'm capable of—with my own son!” Adam exploded.

“Yes I do. I trusted you but I shouldn't have. You're incapable of making a decision based on feeling or gut instinct. I was right when I called you a cold fish.”

“You mean those gut instincts that never let you get close to a man in case he does what your father did to you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Be honest, Abbie, you're terrified of letting a man into your life. But you're not the first person to be abandoned by their father. Just because
he
didn't stick around doesn't mean every other man will let you and Henry down.”

“I haven't tried to keep Henry from you.”

“Oh no,” Adam replied with a guffaw of disdain. “Not after the first three years of his life that is.”

“I explained why I didn't tell you!”

“And you know what?” Adam began, his voice holding a menacing note that suggested she'd pushed him further than ever before. “I understood. I moved on. But the truth is, a big part of keeping Henry from me all those years was because you were frightened I'd destroy your family, just like your father did all those years ago. And you still think I'm capable of that, don't you?”

“Get out, Adam,” Abbie whispered, turning her back on him.

“I will, don't worry. I'll take Kate to see Pete and I'll make sure she behaves herself with Henry. But there's one thought I want to leave you with that I hope will bother you for a long time to come.”

He paused after launching his curse, and she could sense he'd taken a step closer to her.

“I love you, Abbie,” he whispered from behind in a voice that was husky and broken. “Despite everything you think of me, I love you as I've never loved before. I always have …”

“Don't … don't play with me,” Abbie almost cried out and covered her face with her hands. “You did that once before and it took me forever to get over you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ellen, of course. How can you stand there and tell me you love me as you've never loved before when you know that's not true. The entire world knows what the truth is: no one can ever replace Ellen in your life.”

“Well, that's where you're wrong,” Adam murmured almost inaudibly. “There's one person who knew Ellen could be replaced.”

Abbie didn't answer, confused and upset about where the conversation was going now. But she didn't need to reply because Adam was soon speaking again, a disturbing undercurrent of cathartic compulsion in his voice.

“Ellen knew she could be replaced. She told me herself the night she argued with me over keeping Pete. She said she didn't want to have a baby with me because she knew I didn't love her the way a man should love the mother of his child, and that I never would. And she was right. I cared for her deeply. She was my best friend and my rock. But I never loved her the way a man should love the mother of his child—the way I love you. And although you think that the love of a manipulative cold fish is not worth having, you have it anyway—you always will.”

“Yeah well,” Abbie began with a whisper as hot salty tears welled in her eyes and trickled down her face as she tried and failed to absorb the body blow of shattered hopes. “If you love me so much why didn't you stick up for me in front of Kate? You promised you wouldn't let anyone hurt me like that. I trusted you, and you let me down—again.”

But Adam didn't answer. In fact, he was so silent Abbie wondered whether he'd disappeared from the room. But when she turned she found him standing just behind her, his eyes darkened with shadows as he searched her face for answers.

“I think you've kept Kate waiting long enough, don't you?” Abbie tossed at him in quiet dismissal.

Adam stared at her in dazed defeat. “So this is the way you want it between us?” he asked in a hoarse voice.

Abbie nodded and yet terror held her in its grip and ripped the breath from her lungs. For how could she and Adam ever find their way back to their separate lives now? And even if they could, how could they get there without crushing two little boys in the process?

“Mum!” Henry hollered, leaping from the Land Rover that had pulled off the road and tearing down the grassy verge towards her.

Within seconds he was in Abbie's arms and she was hugging the breath out of him, knowing that the life they'd shared together was about to change forever.

“What are you doing here?” Abbie asked when she could finally bring herself to lower him to the ground again.

“Grandfather and I came to get you from the cottage,” he explained as Tony Cooper climbed out of the vehicle and wandered down the lane after his grandson. His hands were deep in his pockets, a woollen cap wedged tightly on his head in the light breeze.

“I like to hear you calling him ‘Grandfather',” Abbie said to Henry as she smiled at Tony.

“And I most definitely like to hear it!” Tony declared, ruffling Henry's hair as he approached. “You can never have too many children calling you ‘Grandfather', can you?”

Abbie nodded as Tony's all seeing eyes, so like Adam's and Henry's, drifted across her face in curious concern.

“Are you two heading off somewhere?” Abbie queried, anxious to divert Tony's close attention from herself.

“Clarissa asked me to collect you for morning tea and Adam asked me to keep Henry close by me, so here we are,” Tony explained. “Adam's had to go out looking for Pete who's disappeared across the fields with my manager in search of deer. Kate—his aunt—has arrived. She's anxious to see Pete, you see.”

“Yes, I know. She came to the cottage this morning on her way through,” Abbie explained, looking away to avoid Tony's penetrating look.

“Did she now?” Tony murmured knowingly. “I see. Righto then, you've met Kate. Adores Pete. Gives Adam some grief though; well motivated—not as soft-hearted as her sister though … not at all.”

Abbie nodded but didn't want to add her opinion of Kate to Tony's succinct character assessment. Instead she watched Henry who'd run off a short distance. He was standing at a fence, enticing some horses in a nearby paddock with a handful of grass.

“Anyway,” Tony went on, eyeing off the suitcase Abbie was towing behind herself, “you'll be needing a lift up to the house then.”

“Actually, I do need a lift,” Abbie confessed. “But not to the house. Now that I have a chance to speak to Henry I'd prefer to go straight to the bus stop in Stow.”

Tony looked at her closely before nodding. “I see,” was all he said in reply.

“You probably know JP; he and his partner Alex are living in London,” Abbie explained in a breathless rush. “Alex is a friend of mine and I'd like to spend some time with them both before going back to Sydney. I'll run it by Henry now, but I know he'll want to stay with you all. After all, who would ever want to leave this wonderful place unless …”