Addicted to You (16 page)

She gave him a small nod and then tried to
walk past him, but she should have known that wouldn’t work. He
touched her shoulder. His warmth seeped through her skin, chasing
away the chill that had settled into the empty space where her
anger had been.

“Leah,” he said.

Her eyes fluttered shut. The sound of her
name on his lips, spoken with painful tenderness, made that ache in
her chest grow sharper. She couldn’t do this right now. Everything
felt too brittle. She hated feeling this way, and she hated even
more that he had to witness it.

“Have a good night,” she said and tried
again to push past him.

He shifted to block her escape. His other
hand came up to touch her cheek. The ache spread into her stomach.
She couldn’t do this. She didn’t want to feel anything right now,
and he made her feel too much. She turned her face away, and his
fingers paused, inches from contact.

“Leah,” he said again. “Don’t shut me out.
Talk to me.”

Because she didn’t know what else to do, she
went with what was familiar to her. She sneered. “Why do you care?
You don’t even know me.”

“You’re wrong,” he said, his voice quiet. He
looked so earnest. “Maybe it hasn’t been as long as I’d like, but
I’ve been paying attention.” He gave her a small, rueful smile. “I
know that even though you don’t show it, you’re compassionate and
loyal. I know this ‘I hate the world’ mask you put on is just a
defense mechanism so no one realizes how much you really care.
Maybe not about what others think of you, but that just means you
care twice as much about the people who do matter, like your
brother.”

As he talked, that blue gaze never wavered.
He moved in, so close that she could feel his body heat even though
his hand on her shoulder was the only place they touched. His words
burned through her, setting off her pulse, which beat loudly in her
ears. She resented the way her entire body strained forward,
wanting to accept the comfort that he was offering. No one besides
Helena had ever confronted her about any of this before.

“And when you’re hurt,” he
said in almost a whisper, “you close yourself off and push
everything back until you convince even yourself that it
doesn’t
matter. It doesn’t hurt
you.”

She swallowed thickly. She couldn’t breathe.
Shaking her head, she stepped back. Her shoulder collided with
someone, but she didn’t bother looking even when that person
muttered something rude at her.

“Don’t run away,” Will said. “Please.” He
didn’t try to reach for her again, and she was grateful.

“Leah,” Elijah said. He was looking between
them with a deep line between his small brows.

Seeing him brought back the realization that
this was entirely the wrong place to have an emotional breakdown.
She straightened her shoulders, fixed a neutral expression on her
face, and gave Will a small nod.

“Thanks for … you know … trying. I have to
go.” She needed to get out of here or she would do something crazy
and humiliating like start sobbing in the middle of the party. She
took Elijah’s hand.

“Leah—” Will began.

Before he could say anything else, she cut
him off. “If you know me so well, then you should understand that I
can’t do this right now. You have to give me time.”

He frowned and studied her face intently.
After a few seconds, he looked away and rubbed a hand through his
hair. Then he stepped back.

Without another word, she tightened her grip
on her brother and fled.

“I th
ought that we should try something new this week,” the
counselor announced.

That never bodes
well
, Will thought.

“A field trip and a test of sorts.”

There were some interested stirrings in
chairs, although the girl who filled Will’s dreams, both asleep and
awake, looked like she didn’t care where they went or if any of
them lived or died. She had yet to even glance in his
direction.

In the midst of what had happened last
Saturday, he’d forgotten to get her number. It had been a long week
waiting until today’s meeting to see, and hopefully speak, with her
again. He had considered trying to find her on campus but decided
in the end to wait and give her the time she’d said she needed.

This was his last session with the group.
Having explained the situation to his boss, he no longer needed to
attend these meetings. Before leaving, though, he wanted to thank
the counselor. Despite his lack of qualifications, the guy seemed
to genuinely care about helping a bunch of people who took his
guidance about as seriously as they would have taken a lecture on
how to put on socks.

As for Leah, he had to tell her the truth.
He was dreading her reaction.

“So we’re going to the bar,” the counselor
told them, his tone triumphant, clearly thinking that this was an
innovative and radical approach. “I know that several of you
struggle to socialize normally without inserting sexual overtones
into it, so we—”

Packers Cap snorted and whispered to
Stilettos, “Or insert other things.”

The counselor frowned at him until he fell
silent. When he was satisfied he had their attention again, he
said, “We are going to have a drink and a platter of fries and just
enjoy the atmosphere, without it needing to be more.”

The counselor sat back with a happy grin,
and Will tried not to shake his head. As far as he could tell, not
a single one of the addicts was ready for something like this. They
would probably all end up seducing someone and having sex in the
bathroom.

Chairs scraped against the floor as everyone
stood to follow the counselor outside with more enthusiasm than any
of them had shown in previous meetings. As usual, Leah moved to
help the old woman navigate her way to the door.

As they stepped down the stairs to the
sidewalk, the old woman glanced up at the old fashioned clock
someone had hung above the front door. She said, “I hope this
doesn’t run past the hour. I’ve got a show to catch.”

Leah paused with her hands at the old
woman’s elbow. The old woman kept walking though, and Leah’s arms
dropped to her sides as she glanced between the old woman’s back
and the clock. The clock sat high enough above the front door that
Will had to squint to make out the time. And it was dark, the dim
glow of the street lights the only light sources, which made the
clock face even more difficult to discern.

“You can see the time?” Will asked,
confused.

The old woman didn’t look back as she said,
“Of course I can.”

At his side, Leah’s brows rose in disbelief
before she began walking again to keep pace with the others. “Then
why are you always running into everything?” she asked.

“Because it’s nice having someone who
cares,” the old woman said. Her shoulders moved beneath the brim of
her hat, which Will took to mean she’d shrugged. “Even if you’re a
stranger.”

Will had nothing to say to that. He supposed
she was right, in a way.

Leah muttered something under her breath
before falling silent. As they walked, trailing behind the others,
they listened to the sound of cars on the street up ahead and the
excited voices of the other addicts.

After a couple minutes, the busty woman
glanced over her bare shoulder at them. Her corset today was the
color of orange fluff overlaid with white lace. Combined with her
overly tanned skin, it made her look a bit like the inside of a
cantaloupe. She gave him and Leah a knowing look.

Will glanced at Leah. Her shoulders were
hunched beneath her thin sweater against the cool night, her face
hidden behind the fall of her hair.

“Just so you know,” the busty woman said,
“if you’re willing to share, so am I.”

He had no idea if she was talking to him or
Leah. Maybe both. He didn’t respond, but Leah let out a quiet snort
and said nothing.

The busty woman turned so that she was
facing them, walking backward with impressive balance considering
the height of her heels. She tilted her head back and looked at
them through narrowed, thoughtful eyes. It was probably the first
time Will had seen anything resembling a serious expression on her
face.

“I’ve been coming to this group for almost a
year,” she said, which made Will’s eyebrow twitch up in surprise.
“I’ve seen a lot of people come and go. And a lot of half-assed
hook-ups.”

Will glanced over at Leah, but her head was
still down. It was impossible to tell if she was even
listening.

“I don’t agree with that creeper in the
cap,” she said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder at the other
addicts who were farther ahead. “Love isn’t a bad thing. Most
people just don’t know what to do with it once they’ve got it.”

“Do you?” Will asked. What was she trying to
get at?

She gave a quiet laugh that wasn’t the least
bit sarcastic. “Of course not. That’s why I’m still here.”

A dark curl blew across her face and she
reached up to brush it back behind her ear. For the first time,
Will noticed a ring around her thumb. Light from a street lamp
struck the silver band, making the edges glow. It was thick and
plain, with a matte strip down the middle. Clearly a man’s
ring.

“Why bother?” he asked. She had never given
an indication that she thought the therapy was anything but a
joke.

“To remind myself,” she said, her eyes
trailing away, unfocused. She clasped her hands at her tightly
corseted waist, her fingers rubbing over the silver band on her
thumb.

Will waited, but she didn’t clarify what she
meant. He didn’t ask. It wasn’t any of his business anyway, even
before he had quit the case study.

“But you two seem different,” she continued,
seemingly coming back to herself from whatever memory she’d been
caught in. Her gaze settled on Leah, who was still obstinately
ignoring—or pretending to ignore—her.

“Different how?” he asked. Even though he
wouldn’t pry into whatever ghosts she carried around with her,
hidden behind her provocative clothes and blithe attitude, the
psychologist in him had to wonder what she had told the old woman
when they’d paired up to talk about their childhoods. He had been
so focused on Leah that he hadn’t taken the time to really examine
the other addicts. And writing about them in his notes had only
left him feeling like a voyeur.

She gave him an enigmatic smile. “Look, I
don’t know you. Or her. But I’m not blind. I can see what’s going
on between you, and all I’m saying is …” She shrugged one shoulder.
“Don’t fuck it up.”

“Why do you care?” Leah asked, finally
lifting her head. She was wearing her typical ‘the world is my
enemy’ expression.

“I don’t,” the busty woman
said with a smile that was more her usual behavior. “Just
figured
you
might.”

Leah didn’t reply, and Will could only
wonder if maybe she should be the one running this program instead
of the counselor.

The busty woman turned back around with a
satisfied chest shimmy and picked up her pace to walk alongside the
old lady, who was surprisingly spry now that she’d stopped
pretending to be clumsy or blind. He supposed she’d have to be
somewhat energetic if she was a sex addict at her age.

There was a bar just around the corner, and
it wasn’t long before the counselor was pulling open the front door
of O’Malley’s Pub and beaming at their small group like a proud
mother hen.

Will felt bad for him—he was about to be
horribly disappointed.

It was hot inside with the eight o’clock
rush crammed into the moderately-sized pub. The clamor of voices
nearly drowned out the strains of some pop song blasting from the
numerous corner speakers. The crowd looked to be made up primarily
of college students, although there were a few groups of people
around the creeper’s age. The counselor began weaving his way
through the crowd toward a booth in the back. Will watched with a
sense of inevitable disaster as the others dispersed into a sea of
impatient drinkers. Exclamations of ‘Excuse me!’ were drowned out
by shrieking students, the clack of billiard balls at the nearby
pool tables, and the blare of a pinball machine in the corner.

Even Leah wandered off toward a quieter
section of the pub, and Will followed after her. He glanced back
just in time to see the counselor give his sudden one-man party a
bewildered look before he, too, was swallowed up by the swarm of
bodies. Will supposed he’d just have to thank the counselor another
time, when the guy wasn’t freaking out about his entire group
failing his test.

Ahead of him, Leah slid onto a stool someone
had just abandoned in front of a round table. She nodded her head
at the empty space across from her. That was the first time she had
invited his company. Will wasn’t about to refuse.

“Do you want to order anything?” she
shouted. Even though the table was only a foot and a half in
diameter, they still had to shout to be heard.

He shook his head. Across the pub was a tiny
dance floor sectioned off with a metal railing where a bunch of
people moved awkwardly to music he couldn’t hear over the distance
and the noise. The fact this place even had a dance floor was
entirely the result of Finn convincing the owner of the pub to
allow him a karaoke corner during their freshman year. It had been
such a hit that the owner kept it. But the karaoke machine had
broken some six months ago, and the owner had yet to replace
it.

Leah twisted to see where he was looking and
then turned back with a wicked smile. “Want to dance?”

There was a challenge in the gleam of her
eyes. He was glad to see it after the way they’d parted last
weekend. A part of him had worried she wouldn’t come back today.
Smiling, he stood and offered her his hand. She accepted it,
hopping to her feet. His fingers closed around hers, and she didn’t
pull away as she took the lead toward the dance floor. Unless it
was his imagination, she swung her hips more than necessary as she
wended her way through the crowd. He couldn’t help but appreciate
the view.