Addy And The Smart Guy (Big Girl Panties #3) (14 page)

"Yes," he answered.

"Will your mother be discreet about us?"

"Yeah. She doesn't want me disgraced any more than I do."

Addy swallowed the lump that formed in her throat.

Grey looked up at her. "You going out with him?"

She blinked at the rapid subject change. "Yes. Friday night."

His jaw tensed. He looked back down at his laptop screen. "Good. Hope you have a good time."

The breath she took in was shaky. "It's what you want, isn't it?"

He looked up at her. At first there was just the mask. Just his calm, cool exterior. But then his color heightened, and his eyes blazed. "You know it isn't."

She glanced at the open door and lowered her voice. "Then what do you want me to do?"

"Go out with him. Fuck him. Do whatever you have to do to be happy, but don't expect me to be happy and supportive about it."

She glanced at the door again. "You've been dating other women all along—"

"We've already had this discussion. We both know this is going to hurt. Yes, I date other women, but what I don't do is parade them through here in front of your face."

"I didn't parade him—"

"Don't let him in here again, Addison. And don't say his name to me. I can't stand the thought of another man touching you."

She took in a deep breath to steady herself. She gave a brief nod and turned to leave.
 

"Does it have to be marriage?" he asked.

She stopped and turned to face him. "I beg your pardon?"

"You want forever. Does it have to be marriage? Couldn't we just promise to be exclusive to each other until the relationship no longer works?"

She stepped toward the desk and leaned on it, meeting his eyes. "Greyson McDaniel, I vow to love, honor, and cherish you, through sickness and health, richer and poorer, until I don't feel like it anymore. How's that sound?"

His jaw dropped, and he leaned back in his chair. He was no longer looking at her, but through her. "You're right," he muttered. "That sucks."

She stood straight and nodded. "Now, if you'd like, I can cancel my plans with B—I mean, my date, until you have time to come to terms with your feelings, one way or the other."

"Too generous, Addison. Go on your date." His voice was distant.

She sighed. "I'd rather go on a date with you."

He simply shook his head. She gathered her things and left.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Addy's apartment was filled with squeals and giggles. She loved the sounds of her friends being over. Most of the time it was so quiet, there, since she was a quiet person. It was nice to have the occasional disruption.
 

Kellen and Jayce sat on the sofa, their legs splayed in front of them, watching television and waiting on their women. Zoey and Maya were fighting over who got to pick Addy's earrings. Addy was trying to be excited about this date with a gorgeous guy who'd behaved heroically, but she couldn't get past her grief for very long at a time. Grey hadn't spoken to her the rest of the week.
 

There was a knock at the door before she'd even done her makeup, so Zoey ran to answer it. Addy could hear her greeting poor Ben with overwhelming enthusiasm.

"You look so pretty," Maya said quietly.

"Thanks." Maya installed Addy's earrings while Addy applied some color to her lips. "How are things with you and Jayce?"

Addy watched Maya in the mirror. The woman blushed. She liked that about Maya, she was never so worldly that she stopped blushing. "Very good. He's so good to me and the kids."

"How many times has he proposed to you, now?"

Maya laughed. "Four. And a half…I stopped him mid-proposal last week because I couldn't bear to reject him again."

"He's probably just making sure he doesn't miss his moment."

"I told him he's done so much proposing, to take some time off and let me do the next one. He said, 'No chance, Babe.' So I'm expecting another proposal soon."
 

Addy finished up her makeup and turned to Maya. "Do us all a favor and say yes, one of these times. He's a really good catch."

Maya giggled. "He is, isn't he?" She sighed with a longing glance at the living room. She snapped out of it and turned back to Addy. "Come on. I'm dying to meet Ben."

They went out into the living room. Ben was lounging in a chair chatting with the guys. Zoey was sitting on Kellen's lap. When Ben saw Addy, he smiled and stood. "Wow. I like the hair down."

"I hear tell it makes me more approachable." He let a few strands of her hair play through his fingers.
 

"It definitely adds another dimension to your appeal."

She found herself without inhibitions and slipped her arm around his waist to lead him downstairs. They took two cars to a fine, Italian restaurant at a place called The Hill. Addy knew what a treat it was for Maya to go to nice places. Zoey couldn't care less, and Jayce got itchy whenever he was forced anywhere fancy, but Maya looked like Cinderella at the ball.

"So are you a grad student, Ben?" Maya asked after the server brought their drinks and took their orders.

"No, actually," he said, "I'm a freshman undergrad. Kind of got a late start."

"Nothing wrong with that," Maya said. "I'm enrolling for my first time next fall."

"Never too late," he said, and clinked glasses with her.

Addy looked up at him. His arm was along the back of her chair. "So what's your story?"

"Well, I joined the Army, junior year of high school. So now I'm making use of that GI Bill to get a business degree."

"Ooooh, Addy, you caught yourself a soldier," Zoey said.
 

Addy rolled her eyes. "What made you join up?" she asked Ben.

"Well," he said pensively, "at the time, I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life. But I always knew I wanted to serve at least one tour of duty, you know, just to contribute."

Sighs from the girls across the table. Addy had to hold her breath to keep from sighing. She managed to keep her voice level. "So, did you see combat?"

"A couple of times. Nothing devastating, but also not very polite dinner conversation."

Addy smiled at this. Her parents were going to like this guy.

The server brought their dinner. Kellen and Ben found topics to discuss, as they were both well traveled. Jayce talked martial arts. Maya asked him what it was like being in school with people six years younger than him. Zoey asked all the impertinent questions about his past with women, and what his religious and political affiliations were. Addy often found Zoey's conversation coarse and uncivilized…but incredibly useful.
 

Their plates were cleared away and dessert brought. Now, Ben kept his hand on the bare part of Addy's back, and she found she didn't mind at all.

Ben's arm came around her shoulders. "Wanna go dancing?"

She beamed up at him. "Really?"

"Yeah, silly. I asked, didn't I?"

"I would absolutely love to go dancing. Jayce? Dancing?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said, high-fiving her across the table. "I love to take my woman dancing." Maya smiled up at him like he was a god, and he kissed her so sweetly Addy had to look away.
 

Kellen was the only one who groaned in misery, not being a big fan of dancing. Ben led the way to a club within walking distance of the restaurant. They spent the evening drinking and dancing. Maya and Kellen drew the short straws, so they were designated drivers. Jayce and Maya wound up in a corner booth making out like teenagers. Kellen and Zoey were locked in a slow-dance embrace, blind and deaf to the world around them.

Addy rested her cheek against Ben's shoulder as they swayed to the music. "I've enjoyed spending time with you," he said. "You think we could hang out some more, maybe next week?"

She hesitated. Then she pulled back and shook her head. "Friendship is all I've got to offer. And quite honestly, I'm not that good of a friend."

He grinned. "Not the least bit attracted to me, are you?"

She looked him up and down. "In theory."

"In theory? How's that work?"

"Well, I definitely appreciate what's being offered. You're incredibly good looking. You seem to have integrity. You're intelligent. Cool-headed in a crisis. Funny and not too serious. So my head says yes. I just can't seem to get my heart and body on board at the moment."

He grinned and touched her cheek. "God, I like you. Listen, it's fine. I get it. Maybe you'll never feel it, that's the risk I take. But I still wanna hang out with you. So how about it?"

At last, she agreed. After that, they all went back to Addy's apartment, where Ben drank water until he was sober enough to drive home.
 

As soon as he left, the whole evening came crashing down on Addy. Ben was the nicest guy in the world, but to be with him meant forever closing the door on her feelings for Grey, which she was going to have to do anyway. Exhausted from the stress of the week, the dancing and the alcohol, she knew she needed to rush her friends out the door before she completely fell apart.

"I guess you guys better get home, huh?" she asked. "It's so late."

"Yeah," Jayce agreed. "Come on. Kellen, you drive this time?"

"So you can make out with Maya in the backseat? No way. If I drive, you ride up front with me."

Jayce gave him a blank look. Then turned to Maya. "Could I see you in the bathroom for about five minutes?"

"Jayce!" Maya cried, and threw a throw pillow at him. He caught it and threw it back at her.
 

Then he grabbed her by the wrists, pulled her to her feet, and into his arms, where it appeared he intended to keep her forever. Kellen drowsily dragged his fingers through Zoey's hair. They all looked so happy. Addy's chest tightened. "Stay as long as you like, of course. But I think I'm going to go to bed."

Zoey and Maya turned to her, like hawks spotting their prey. They studied her for so long that she had to look away.
 

"I've got a great idea," Zoey said. "How about you boys go on back home so we can have a girls-only sleepover. We haven't done that in ages."

Jayce's arms tightened around Maya. "I'm not going home without her."

Zoey rolled her eyes. "Maya, come on. Slumber party, right?"

"I think it's a great idea," Maya said, struggling to free herself from Jayce's embrace.

"I'm really not up for it," Addy said, fighting as hard as she could to hold back the tears. "But maybe next weekend, okay?"

"No," Zoey said. "We're staying tonight and that's that. Let her go, Jayce. You can have her back in the morning."

By this point, Jayce had turned his insightful gaze to Addy and seen what Zoey and Maya had seen. It was awfully big of him to let go of Maya. Kellen and Jayce kissed their girls goodnight and left.
 

Not a moment too soon. Addy fell onto the sofa and cried into Zoey's blouse. "I hate him," she sobbed irrationally. "I hate myself. I hate these feelings."

"Shhh, I know," Zoey said, rocking her back and forth. "It'll all work out."

Maya was busy pouring wine. "Addy, sweetheart, I hate to profit at your expense, but I must say, it's nice not being the one having an emotional breakdown."

Addy managed to laugh through her tears. She got the worst of the tears out and then fell back against the sofa and sipped some wine. "Ben's so hot. He swooped in, Tuesday, and totally saved the day. He was calm and collected. God, I'm such a fool."

"It's too soon to be dating," Maya said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh, come on, that's bullshit," Zoey said. "It's not like she and Grey were in love or anything."

"She is in love with him," Maya said. "Even if he doesn't return her love, she still needs time to grieve. Addy, don't beat yourself up for not having feelings for Ben. Just be up front with him, and if he wants to keep hanging out, trust him to manage his own feelings."

Addy nodded. "That's reasonable."

Zoey sighed. "I don't understand the difference between hanging out and dating."

"That's because you only hang out with men you wanna have sex with. Or you used to," Maya said.

Zoey shot her a look.
 

"Maya's right," Addy said. "And I have been up front with Ben. If he wants to keep seeing me, that'll have to be his decision."

She was calmed, for the moment. The pain over Grey still lingered in the background, but as long as it remained there, she could manage it.

The three of them stayed up late watching movies, drinking wine, and laughing.
 

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Saturday morning, Grey found himself in a position he'd never imagined possible. A position so humiliating he doubted he'd ever be able to look himself in the mirror again. A position he'd thought existed only amongst teenage girls who watched too many vampire romance dramas.
 

He lay curled up on his bed, hugging the t-shirt Addison had worn that he still hadn't washed. He had to inhale deeply, but there still remained a hint of her scent.
 

Last night he'd taken Caroline out, fully intending to go back to her apartment with her. In fact he had gone back to her apartment, he just hadn't been able to seal the deal. It was humiliating.

He'd gone to her place after. She'd left him on the sofa with a drink while she went to her room to change. She'd come back looking drop-dead sexy in red lingerie. Grey should have felt nothing but lust. Lust was real. Lust was scientifically documented. There was no logical explanation for the guilt he felt looking at Caroline. He'd left her staring after him in shock and anger.

The rest of the night had been spent hugging the t-shirt and trying not to shed actual tears. Now, since he was already as pathetic as he could ever remember being, he pulled out his phone and got on Facebook. Addison rarely posted photos or updates, but often her friends would, and he'd get to see pictures of her smiling and laughing, just like she'd done last week, with him.
 

There was a photo of her and her friends from last night, and Grey let out a breath of relief from tension he hadn't realized he'd been holding. She'd had a sleepover with her friends. Not Ben. Not that perfect, young, athletic bastard Ben.