Admission (24 page)

THE STILLNESS WOKE HIM
. A hollow quiet that nudged him and made his subconscious perk up with alarm. His body was slower to follow. The familiar remnants of the past night, of the past four years, covered him like a blanket. The dry mouth, the smoky clothes, the crusted eyes, the pressed skull. Jake looked at the wall and wondered where he was, if he’d slept in his own bed and how he’d managed to get there from the party the night before.

He tried to replay the last memory but it didn’t come. He’d gone through this too many times, and now he just didn’t care. Sometime between Shelli’s graduation party and now, he had lapsed into that too-familiar state. The long tail of a falling night when darkness and silence eclipsed everything.

Jake sat up and tried to get his bearings. He thought of the party, which made him think of toasting graduation, which made him think of the cap and gown, which made him think of

10:30 sharp

The clock said 10:45 a.m.

The class of ’94 would be walking in fifteen minutes.

He could make it to school in seven minutes, still have time to adjust his cap onto the gnarly-looking mass of hair
sticking over his head, and could smile as he walked and heard his name.

Why didn’t his roommates wake him up?

Last night was a blur. This morning was a blur. Everything in the past week had been a blur.

Jake walked to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and saw a large bruise on his forehead. It looked like he had run into something, or someone, last night. A pipe or a cabinet or who knows what. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

He only had a few minutes. He turned on the faucet and took a cup to run water over his face. He quickly brushed his teeth.

Then something caught his eye.

What …

He looked to his right and stared into the tub.

The stained plastic shower curtain was half torn off its rings. Something was weighing it down. Maybe someone had been sick and had left a morning surprise in the shower. Maybe that someone had been him.

With one hand still brushing his teeth, Jake casually tried to open the curtain. It wouldn’t budge, so he jerked it off its rings.

And saw the wet, white head of Carnie looking at him with blank, open eyes.

Every ounce of strength and life in Jake poured out of him in a gasp as he grabbed Carnie by his wet shirt and tried to pull him up and out of the tub.

His bulky friend weighed too much, and all Jake did was stretch the shirt.

“Carn, come on, man, hey, wake up.”

But his words sounded hollow. Carnie’s face was dead white and ghostly, and Jake thought the worst. Why not? Why, after everything, wouldn’t he think the worst, because the worst had already stopped by their front door and delivered a whole case of hurt and sorrow and misery. Maybe it had stopped again last night and delivered its final present for the year.

The voice, his voice, now surprisingly loud, surprisingly
scary, rose as it called Carnie’s name. “Carnie! Come on, man! Come on! Paul, for God’s sake, wake up! Paul, wake up!”

And he called out and cursed God and screamed for help and nothing did any remote good. He tried to find a pulse but didn’t know where to look and all he knew was that Carnie didn’t feel warm, he didn’t feel real, he didn’t feel
alive
.

And as Jake dialed the phone, he knew his twitchy fingers and his sweaty back and his hoarse voice and his frantic words all meant that this was real, that in the almighty words he and Carnie used to sing together he was alive, truly alive, and that this was a living nightmare that he couldn’t wake up from or forget.

He would remember this moment every day for the rest of his life.

I HEARD A CURSE SHOUTED
in the semidarkness and knew it wasn’t Alec’s voice.

“This your idea, Jake?”

I could see Franklin walking around the car to face Mike and me. Alec turned off the engine and the lights.

“So he got you to come too?” I asked the figure approaching me. “What’d he have to—”

Franklin’s fist came out of nowhere and landed awkwardly against my ear. I fell back and gasped out loud.

“Don’t try that again,” Alec said, now out of the car.

“Or what? You gonna use that?”

Holding my ear in my hand, I looked at Alec and noticed his arm pointed at Franklin.

“Alec—”

“He’s got a gun,” Mike said to me.

“Everybody just calm down. Jake, you okay?” Alec asked.

“I’d feel better if you told me what you are doing.”

“You wanted proof. Here’s proof.”

I could make out the shadows of their faces under the glow of the moon.

“You’re holding a gun,” I said. “What sorta proof is that?”

“Tell him,” Alec said, still aiming his handgun at Franklin.

“Tell him what?”

“The truth.”

“The truth died when Carnie decided to swallow a whole bottle of pills one morning.”

“Shut your face,” I said to Franklin.

“It was your idea from day one,” Alec said. “Go ahead, tell ’em.”

“Tell them what?” Franklin asked.

“We were at Shaughnessy’s and I said we should do something to get back at Brian, and that’s when you devised the plan. It was all you, Frankie.”

“I don’t recall you objecting,” Franklin said.

“I wanted to do it. I thought it was going to be hilarious. I thought it would be a good prank.”

“You guys never told me the exact plan,” I said.

“You knew,” Franklin barked out.

Alec shook his head. “No, he didn’t. He was barely functional when I told him. And he was out of it the entire time we were out there.”

“And that makes it all okay, right?” Franklin asked.

“You, Mike, and Carnie got him,” Alec said.

Franklin didn’t say anything.

“Come on. Lay it out. Right now.”

“What?” Franklin said. “You gonna beat it out of me?”

“I won’t have to,” Alec replied.

“And why’s that?”

“Because it’s over,” Alec said. “All of it. It’s over.”

“What are you talking about? What’s over?”

Alec wiped his forehead and looked up at the sky. “I just want to set the record straight. Right here and right now. And then I’m gone, and you’ll never hear or see me again.”

“Haven’t you said that once before?” Franklin asked.

“All of us were responsible in one way or another. It’s just time to get the truth out and settle it and go our merry ways.”

“Carnie can’t speak for himself.”

“Carnie doesn’t have to. It was the three of you guys who got Brian off campus. What’s that? Kidnapping? That’s something, and it’s probably not a misdemeanor.”

“And what do you call coming into my house and pointing a gun in my face? Huh?”

“Put the gun down,” Mike said.

“What do you guys want from me?”

“Resolution,” I interrupted.

“And you’re getting it,” Alec said. “Just tell us here what happened, and then it’s done.”

Franklin stared at us. “Don’t you guys get it?” he asked. “I’ve only been trying to help.”

“Trying to help? What’s that mean?” I asked.

“What that means is I’m trying to keep you from stumbling into any more trouble. You think I didn’t know what was going on with Jelen? I was the one he came to first to try and find Alec. He didn’t know how I left things with you—with all of you. He didn’t need to know. But he freaked me out when he pulled out this blackmail threat. I didn’t bite. But I knew that someone would. And that someone was our Mr. Jake Rivers. Resident hero. The prodigal son.”

“What was I supposed to say?” I asked.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” Franklin asked.

“Oh, yeah, Papa Frankie,” Alec said in disgust. “I’m sure you would have been a comfort.”

“Jelen got involved because of you. This is all your fault.”

“So what’d you do?” I asked.

“I just—I just wanted you to lay off. To not stir up anything.”

“Frankie, you see, has this nice little comfortable life set up for himself, and he doesn’t want anyone interrupting it, right?” Alec rested his arm against his side.

Franklin looked as though he wanted to lunge at Alec, but he was wise not to.

“But wait—that wasn’t you in Chicago with Bruce and me—” Mike began.

“I don’t wave guns around like an idiot.”

“You—you just get people to do it for you.”

I looked at Franklin’s unchanging face and couldn’t believe it.

“What’s that mean?” I demanded.

“I was just trying to keep you from doing something stupid,” Franklin said. “I asked an associate to take care of things.”

“An associate,” Alec interrupted, mockingly.

“I asked him to get someone to scare you off. That was it.”

“Who was it then?” I asked. “The same guy who conked me on the head in Jacksonville? The guy who threatened Alyssa?”

“Threatened who?” Franklin for once sounded believable.

“That’s right,” Alec said. “Now he’s threatening women. Who’s next? Jake’s parents?”

“That was all just for show.”

“And the bullet in Bruce’s gut?” Alec demanded. “The one that almost killed a former friend of yours? Was that all for show?”

“Things got a little out of hand.”

“Yeah, they always do with you,” Alec said. “They got a little out of hand years ago, and they did now.”

“What were you thinking?” I asked as Alec propped himself on the hood of his car.

“I was the only one thinking. Period. You take off trying to figure out the past and asking questions—”

“I was looking for Alec.”

“You think this Jelen is going to let things just stay the way they were? You think he’s going to back off?”

“He will now,” Alec told Franklin.

We looked at him, not knowing what that meant.

“Alec—”

“No, this is about Franklin,” he said to me. “What happened that night? After you picked up Brian? Did our little ride here bring back any memories?”

”Why don’t you ask Mikey here? He knows.”

“No, I don’t,” Mike said. “I swear I don’t.”

“You were the one who opened up the trunk. You don’t remember?”

“No.”

Franklin shook his head. “We taped him up, Carnie and I. But I guess we must not have done a very good job. I don’t know. A lot about that night is foggy to me too. I was pretty loaded. We opened up the trunk, and Brian bolted out and went after the
first person he saw. That was Mike. Man, don’t you remember—you were bleeding like a pig all night long? He cut you pretty bad with a knife—a knife that came out of nowhere.”

“Then what happened?” Alec asked.

“It was crazy. I don’t know. Brian took off after me with that knife and then Carnie was there and things got out of hand—”

“You’re lying,” Alec said.

“No, I’m not.”

“Carnie went to find me,” Alec continued. “When you guys got here, you parked on the side of the road. You were supposed to let Brian off in the middle of nowhere to fend for himself. Carnie found me by the campsite, and by the time we got there you were standing over his body.”

Mike and I both looked at Franklin. He didn’t say anything at first, just looked tired and angry.

“The guy had just tried to kill Mike and he hurt him pretty bad and—”

“And what?” Mike suddenly shouted out at Franklin.

“And I just—yeah—I was doing it out of protection.”

“Carnie told me Brian was shot in the back,” Alec said.

“You
shot
him?” I asked.

Mike cursed and walked to the side of the car saying “No” over and over again.

“It was self-defense.”

“It wasn’t Carnie,” Alec said, looking at me. “And it wasn’t me.”

“It got out of control—we’re talking about Brian. You know—the guy who almost beat the life out of you? You remember that? That guy had it coming. It wasn’t supposed to turn out that way, but he was out of control.”

For a moment we were all silent. Distant car engines resonated in the background. Crickets in the surrounding forest droned on. I wondered what a gunshot would sound like out here in the middle of nowhere.

“It was never supposed to happen,” Franklin said.

“A lot of things weren’t supposed to happen,” I said.

Alec watched us carefully, his hand and the gun resting against his side.

“So you just—you just let me—let all of us believe it was Carnie?” I asked Franklin. “How gutless was that?”

“I couldn’t control Carnie’s demons. We all have them, I couldn’t help it. You think I was happy to hear about that?”

“You sure weren’t sad.”

“At least I didn’t bolt,” Franklin said, staring at Alec.

“Tell me something,” I said. “Something I’ve always wondered. How—how did I get all bloody? I woke up in the back of Bruce’s car with blood all over me.”

“I think that was mine,” Mike said out of the darkness.

“What?”

Alec answered. “I told you he was bleeding—almost bled to death. We couldn’t get it to stop. But we didn’t want him going to the hospital.”

“How’d I get it all over me?”

“I think you were helping him put pressure against it,” Alec said. “But I don’t think you were much of a help. You didn’t know how to say your last name.”

“Jake the hero,” Franklin said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Kinda ironic, huh? The big famous adventurer used to be a messy drunk we’d all babysit.”

I walked over to Franklin. “You’re going to tell me who you hired and where he lives.”

“And why’s that?”

“What if he threatened your wife? Huh? Your kids?”

“So, what? You married to Alyssa?”

I was about to punch him in the face when Alec came and held me back. “Jake, hold on. I just need to know one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Where’d the body go?”

Franklin tightened his lips and looked down. “I got rid of it.”

“How?” Mike asked.

“Carnie and I did. That morning when you guys were searching for Jakester here.”

“Carnie said you got rid of it in the Cal Sag,” Alec said.

I thought of the murky channel nearby where a body could easily decompose without moving or being found.

Franklin didn’t say anything. But his silence confirmed it.

“All this time—all these years—I’ve thought …” I couldn’t believe this.

Alec nodded. “You should trust somebody once in a while.”

“Who? You?” Franklin asked. “Where’re you going to run off to this time? Huh?”

“Actually, I think I’m going to have a chat with the Summit police. I think they might be interested in all of this.”

Franklin laughed and cursed. “You’re as full of it as Jake.”

“Nobody’s going to hang anything over my head anymore,” Alec said. “Nobody’s blackmailing me anymore.”

“So you’re doing this out of love?” Franklin asked.

“No. I’m doing what I should have done if I’d stayed around. I’m doing it for Carnie.”