Adrenaline (Speed #2) (27 page)

Before motioning for him to head in, I caught a glimpse of a man standing across the street.

Ugh. He probably just got off by watching us in the car.

Turning quickly, I shut the door and silently made a vow that I’d never try public sex in the daytime ever again.

KATHLEEN WALKED ONTO THE BUS
and placed a manila envelope on the counter before turning and looking back at me. “It’s been a while since you’ve sought me out for work.”

Reaching into the refrigerator, I grabbed a beer for each of us. She reached her hand out and happily took it. I popped the top off and took a long drink.

“Congrats on the win by the way.”

With a fake smile, I replied, “Thanks.”

She gave me that look only a mother could give as she waited patiently for me to explain why I had asked her to have Paislie followed for the last few weeks.

“I just wanted to make sure she’s okay.”

“Did you hurt her? Break up with her or something?”

“Something like that.”

Kathleen dragged in a deep breath and quickly expelled it as she opened the envelope.

“I didn’t do the work. I had one of my guys who works the Dallas area for me on it. From the reports it seems like your girl has had herself buried inside her apartment and barely ever leaves.”

My head pulled back. “Work?”

“She’s going to work, but that’s about all. She does go to St. Patrick’s a lot and recently started going on Sundays.”

I couldn’t help the small smile that played across my face. I knew how much that church and Sister Elizabeth meant to Paislie.

“Looks like she has a friend by the name of Annie McCarthy. She stops by often but they never go out. She usually brings take out and stays for a few hours before leaving.”

My heart sank, but at the same time I was relieved to know Paislie hadn’t been going out or seeing anyone.

“But then today I got a call from my guy. Said he was sending me some pictures. Looks like your girl met someone at a small café earlier this morning. Couldn’t get info on the guy; he was driving a rental car.”

I swallowed hard. “She met a guy? You said she had breakfast with him?”

She smirked and shook her head as she pulled out some pictures. “They had more than breakfast.”

Placing the pictures on the counter, my heart leapt to my throat and I instantly felt sick to my stomach. The pictures showed Paislie on top of the guy in a car.

“Did they . . . were they having sex?” I asked clearing my throat.

Kathleen shook her head. “He said it looked more like foreplay, but at one point the guy had a condom in his mouth and your girl crawled off of him. Finished the job with her hand.”

Turning away before Kathleen could see the rage on my face, I closed my eyes and counted to ten.

I drew in a deep breath and slowly blew it out. “What about after that?”

“He went up to her apartment. My guy had to leave because Paislie looked directly at him so he took off.”

Both hands went up to my head as I pushed my fingers through my hair and cursed under my breath.

“I’m going to safely guess you still have feelings for the girl since you’re paying me to keep tabs on her.”

My arms dropped to my sides. Paislie had moved on. “I don’t need you to watch her anymore, Kath. Let me know what I owe you and I’ll have Janet get it over to you as soon as possible.”

“Okay. You’re the boss.” I could hear her gathering up the pictures and sliding them back into the envelope. “Do you want the pictures?”

As much as I wanted to tell her to find out whatever she could on the asshole Paislie was fucking, I didn’t. With a slow shake of my head, I turned back to her. “Burn them.”

With a quick nod, she walked over to the small stove. She turned it on, lit the corner of the envelope and dropped it into the sink.

“Malcolm, I know you’re not asking, but may I offer you a bit of advice?”

Kathleen had been a family friend for as long I could remember. I had her investigate the guy who hit me, resulting in Casey dying. She also did a background check on Janet before she came to work for me.

With a weak smile, I said, “I’m all ears.”

“Instead of having her followed around to make sure she’s okay, why don’t you find out yourself? She obviously is hurting from what ever happened between the two of you and you care enough about her to see what she’s doing.”

Letting out a gruff laugh, I said, “She must not be that upset if she’s fucking some guy in a car for a little afternoon delight.”

She shot me a dirty look. “I don’t think she had sex with the guy. My thoughts are she was going to, decided not to and finished him off to lessen the blow.”

I stared at her like she was insane. “He went up to her apartment with her. Maybe they decided they weren’t into the public sex thing after all.”

She shrugged. “You’ll never know unless you go to her.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

My heart was pounding in my chest as I clenched my fists together. I was so angry for what I did to Paislie I wanted to punch myself. “I promised her I wouldn’t hurt her and I did. She’ll never trust me again.”

Kathleen looked at me before turning and heading to the door. She opened it and was about to step out when she said, “That’s the crazy thing about love.”

I waited for her to finish her sentence but she didn’t, causing me to ask, “What’s the crazy thing about love?”

“If she truly loves you, she’ll risk it all for you.”

With that, she was out the door and gone as I glanced at the burning pictures in my sink. I brought my beer up to my lips and finished it off as I turned the water on and put out the small fire.

With a frustrated moan, I glanced up and saw Deuce lying on the sofa. “You still mad at me?”

He lifted his brows but never moved. “I know, boy. I miss her too.”

The rest of the week flew by with meetings, strategizing about the race, practice runs and interviews. My mind wasn’t focused and I knew Dalton and everyone else could see it. When the knock on my bus came, I knew exactly who it was going to be from.

Opening the door, I grinned and motioned for him to come in.

Emmit walked in and took a look around before heading over and sitting down next to my damn dog. “Hey boy, how’s it going?”

The traitor gave him a few licks before looking at me and barking.

“Little fucker. He’s two seconds from being taken to the pound.”

Emmit laughed and gave Deuce a rub down before looking back at me. “So, how did the first race feel after being gone so long?”

With a cocky smile, I shrugged. “It’s like riding a bike.”

“How’s your leg?”

“Hurts like a son-of-a-bitch.” There was no sense in lying to him. I knew he would see right through it.

“Taking anything?”

I shook my head.

Emmit nodded and took a look around. “Do you miss it?”

With a smile, he glanced back my way. “Ya know, I thought for sure I would. That thrill you get from racing around the track. God how I’ve loved that feeling for so damn long.”

I chuckled. “Tell me about it.”

His eyes turned serious. “Addie’s pregnant. We’re expecting another baby to arrive on Valentine’s Day.”

I stood up and reached my hand out. “Holy shit, dude. Congratulations. Planned?”

He shook my hand and smiled bigger. “Yep. Not the due date though. That was all Mother Nature on that one.”

“You hoping for a boy or a girl?”

With a shrug, he replied, “Don’t care, as long as the baby is healthy and Addie has a smooth pregnancy. I’ll take whatever he gives us.”

I sat across from him and laughed. “Damn. It’s crazy to think you’re gonna have another one.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. To answer your question though, I do miss racing, especially the adrenaline rush I got out of it. But I don’t really know how to explain it, the rush I get from being with Addie and Landon is ten times better. It’s different . . . but so much better. I think the decision I made was the best decision of my life.”

“Really?” I asked as I thought about how happy Emmit looked. There was something so different about him. He seemed at ease.

With a slap of his hands on his legs, he pointed to me and said, “So, let’s talk about you.”

I held out my left arm and said, “Got another tattoo. That’s about all that’s new in my world.”

His eyebrow lifted. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I didn’t get a phone call asking me to fly here because you got a new tattoo.”

I leaned back and stared into his eyes. “Who called? Dalton?”

“Yep.”

“Asshole.”

Emmit let out a small laugh. “He cares about you, Malcolm. Your whole team cares about you and he said you’re not focused at all.”

“Well fuck, what does he expect! I’ve been gone for a few months. I came back and won my first fucking race. Give me a damn break.”

He remained silent as I sat there and let the events of the last week replay in my mind. I knew what I wanted and I was miserable because I didn’t have it.

I stood up and cursed.

“Fucking hell. I can’t do it, Emmit. I thought I wanted this. It was the only thing I ever knew. The only thing I ever thought I was good at. Then she came into my life and turned it fucking upside down. I can’t eat, sleep, or think straight. She’s got me hiring a damn private detective to follow her.”

“What?” Emmit asked as he stood up. “You didn’t.”

My hands scrubbed over my face as I let out a frustrated moan. “I don’t know whether I’m coming or going anymore.”

“Have you tried to talk to her?”

“No. I called her Casey.”

Emmit’s eyes widened as he scrunched his damn face up. “Tell me she didn’t know who Casey was.”

“No . . . she knew. I’m not sure how, but she knew.”

Emmit walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator. Opening it, he handed it to me. “Why did you call her Casey?”

My hand pushed through my dark hair. “Fuck if I know. I honestly have no idea. Maybe it was because she had started to lecture me about driving and Casey used to do that. The only difference is Paislie wasn’t trying to keep me from racing . . . she was trying to keep me from hurting myself more. Or worse yet, someone else.”

Emmit leaned back against the counter and folded his arms across his chest. “So?”

The way he was looking at me, as if I had the answer to everything, pissed me off. “So? So what?”

“Do you love her?”

It felt as if time stood still after Emmit asked me that one simple question. It was simple because it should have been easy to answer, yet I was struggling with my answer.

“No.”

He lifted his brows and looked me right in the eyes. “No. You don’t love her?”

“I’m not what she needs, Emmit. I’m not what she deserves.”

“And that is?” he asked with a smug look.

I felt nauseous as I struggled to keep talking. “Someone who will devote his entire world to her. Not someone who is going to lie and go behind her back. Treat her like dirt instead of confide in her when I’m pissed off at the world. She needs a guy who will make a promise to her and keep it. I didn’t do any of that.”

“You fucked up, Malcolm. Don’t you think she’s worth trying to find out if she’ll give you another chance?”

The pictures Kathleen showed me popped into my head. “She’s moved on, so it’s really a moot point.”

Emmit laughed as he shook his head. “You really are a thick headed son-of-a-bitch, aren’t you?”

“Fuck you, Lewis. You can stand there and judge me with your perfect little world. You got what you wanted.”

“I did,” he replied with a smirk.

“Well good for you, because I don’t want that life.”

“I never said you did.”

Anger was beginning to build as I balled my fists. “Yeah, well good. The last thing I want to be is tied down with some clingy-ass woman and a bunch of kids running around screaming and yelling.”

Deuce took that moment to jump down and run to the door and bark.

“Fuck!” I shouted.

“You want to get rid of the dog too?”

I flashed him a dirty look.

“I get the feeling you want exactly what I have, Malcolm, and you want it with Paislie.”

Walking up to Emmit, I grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him against the wall. “Shut the fuck up, Emmit or I swear I’ll punch you.”

He never once made a move to stop me. “Why don’t you tell me the real reason you’re pissed off, Wallace?”

I pushed him as hard as I could before turning and grabbing the dog’s leash. “Please be gone by the time I get back.”

Emmit grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop. “Don’t let her go. I’ve made the mistake of letting the woman I loved go and lost out on so much time. Trust me, Malcolm, you’ve got to let the guilt of Casey and the past go and look at what you have waiting for you now.”

Yanking my arm free, I turned away from him and pushed the door open. I needed air to breathe. Emmit was right behind me as I dragged in a deep breath of air.

I stared off toward the lights of the track as I slowly shook my head. “I’m no good for her. I’ll end up hurting her again and I’d rather die than see that look in her eyes like I saw before she left.” Looking over my shoulder at Emmit, I whispered, “If I stay away from her . . . I can’t hurt her.”