Afraid (13 page)

Skye felt as if someone had just dripped ice water down her spine. She didn’t remember kissing him. Oh, God, what had she done? And why did she keep falling asleep and forgetting everything? Was she going crazy – like her mum?

‘Don’t worry, my beautiful princess,’ Tom was saying now. ‘Your mum and dad might not love you, but
I
do, and if anyone ever tries to hurt you again, I’ll kill them. You’re mine now, and we love each other.’

Skye had started to tremble. He was talking as if they were boyfriend and girlfriend, and something had obviously happened if he was saying that she had kissed him. But she couldn’t remember a thing after him giving her that brandy yesterday. Maybe she was an alcoholic? There had to be
some
thing wrong with her.

As he gazed down at her, a flicker of a frown crossed Tom’s brow. ‘You’re not regretting it, are you?’

Skye was more confused than she had ever been in her life before, and she felt guilty when she saw the uncertainty in his eyes. Her mum had always said that the truth came out in drink, so she guessed that she must like him even more than she’d thought she did. It was the only explanation, because she would never have thrown herself at him otherwise.

‘Have you changed your mind?’ Tom was peering deeply into her eyes.

Skye bit her lip and shook her head. This all felt very, very weird, but she had to admit that it
was
kind of nice to know that Tom liked her so much.

She stiffened when he raised her chin and lowered his face to hers, but she tried her hardest to relax when he whispered, ‘Don’t fight it – this is what being in love feels like.’

She didn’t really enjoy the kiss. Tom’s lips were wet and sloppy, and she hated the feel and taste of his tongue poking around inside her mouth. But she closed her eyes and let him carry on, telling herself that it was different from the kisses she’d shared with boys in the past because they obviously hadn’t known how to do it properly.

Excited more by the thought that Tom saw her as a woman than by what he was doing to her, she didn’t resist when he fondled her breasts. But when he slipped his hand down between her legs, she winced and pulled back.

‘It’s okay,’ he whispered, pushing her down gently onto her back and climbing on top of her.

‘It’s sore,’ she cried, struggling to push him off as he unzipped his fly and pushed his knee between hers to part them. ‘Don’t, Tom! I don’t want to!’

‘That’s not what you said the first time.’ Tom’s voice was breathy in her ear. ‘Stop fighting, you’ll just make it harder. It’ll be easier this time, I promise.’

Skye was crying by now, and she struggled with all her might to stop him from peeling her knickers down. But he was too strong, and she felt as if she was being ripped apart when he entered her roughly.

‘God, that feels good,’ he said hoarsely, pushing deeper.

Skye squeezed her eyes shut and bit down hard on her lip as the tears rolled down her face and soaked the pillow. It hurt, a lot, but she couldn’t stop him so she had no option but to lie still and pray that he would hurry up and finish.

Ten agonising minutes later, Tom’s body stiffened and he clamped his lips down hard on hers, almost choking her when he thrust his tongue deep into her mouth. Then, at last, he sighed and rolled onto his back.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked, reaching out after a while and pulling her towards him.

Still sniffling, Skye nodded and laid her head on his chest. Like the man in her nightmare, Tom smelled of stale sweat and cigarette smoke, but she was just glad that it was over and he was being nice to her again.

‘You’re so special,’ Tom murmured sleepily as he stroked her hair. ‘I just know we’re going to be together for ever.’

Skye closed her eyes and listened as his heartbeat gradually began to slow to normal. She hadn’t liked the sex one little bit, but she didn’t dare risk upsetting Tom by telling him that. Now that the police were looking for her, and her mum and dad had turned against her, she had absolutely nowhere else to go if he kicked her out.

Skye fell asleep in Tom’s arms, but she was alone when she woke up the next morning, and she was mortified to see dried blood on her thighs and the sheet. Desperate to wash away the shameful evidence of what she had done, she pushed the quilt off her legs and lowered her feet to the floor. But she hesitated when she saw the roses that Tom had bought her sitting in an old vase on the bedside table. A folded note was propped against it and, guessing that it was for her, she reached for it.

Morning, Princess
, it read.
You look so beautiful sleeping I wish I didn’t have to leave you, but I’ve had to go to work. I’ll be home as soon as I can get away. Try not to miss me as much as I’m going to miss you
.
All my love, your Tom.

He’d put ten kisses at the end, and had drawn a love-heart with an arrow through it. It was the most romantic thing Skye had ever seen, and it made her feel guilty for having tried to resist him last night. She’d thought that her mum and dad loved her, because that was how parents were supposed to feel about their children; but she had never felt as loved by them as she did by Tom.

She just wished that the sex didn’t have to hurt so much.

Still clutching the note, Skye got up and wandered over to the window when she heard the sound of birdsong outside. It made a pleasant change from the noise of cars racing up and down, neighbours arguing, and drunks singing or shouting abuse as they made their way home from the pub – which was all she ever heard through her window at home.

It was a bright day, and she felt the heat of the sun on her face as she gazed out at the countryside. It was so peaceful out there, and she felt safe knowing that nobody had a clue where she was. It still hurt to know that her mum and dad had betrayed her, but she had Tom now so she didn’t need them any more.

Even as she thought it, Skye knew that she was lying to herself. She still loved her parents, and probably always would. Not that they deserved it after what they had done, but she couldn’t control what her heart felt.

Determined not to think about them, because she knew it would ruin her fragile mood, Skye went to the bathroom and ran water into the sink. As she waited for it to fill, she gazed around at the mess and decided to do some cleaning before Tom came home. It was the least she could do to repay him for his kindness. And, anyway, if he’d meant what he said about them being together for ever, then this was her home now, too; and it was her duty to do the housework while he was out earning money to feed her.

After washing, Skye went back to the bedroom and got dressed before tackling the bed. But just as she was pulling the soiled sheet off, she heard a snuffling sound behind her and almost wet herself with fear when she turned and saw the dog standing between her and the door. She hadn’t been downstairs since that first night, and it looked even bigger and more dangerous up close.

‘Sit!’ she squeaked, praying that her voice wouldn’t spur him on to attack her. When the dog cocked its head but remained standing, she tried to imitate the firm way she’d heard Tom speak to it, and repeated her command more sternly: ‘I said
sit
!’ Amazed when the dog obeyed this time, she edged around the bed, murmuring, ‘Good boy. Now stay there.
Stay
!’

Her plan was to get out of the room and lock it in, but she stopped in her tracks when the dog suddenly stood up again, and whimpered, ‘Please don’t bite me’ when it came towards her.

Shocked when it sniffed her feet and then licked her leg before sitting down, she reached out tentatively and patted its head. Feeling braver when it gazed up at her with mournful eyes, she squatted down and held out her hand. Delighted when it plonked its paw onto her palm, she laughed. ‘Wow! You’re just a big softie, aren’t you?’

An old leather collar was buried beneath its fur, and Skye squinted at the disc that was hanging from it when she noticed faded lettering etched onto it.

‘Bernie,’ she said when she was able to make it out.

At the sound of its name, the dog licked her face, and Skye grimaced as she wiped the slime off with the back of her hand. ‘God, you stink!’ she complained, wrinkling her nose in disgust. ‘I think you need a bath when I’ve sorted this place out.’

She stood up now, and smiled when Bernie followed her out onto the landing and down the stairs. When they reached the kitchen he went straight to the back door, and she guessed that he wanted to go outside to do his business.

‘Sorry, boy,’ she told him when she saw that there was no key in the lock. ‘You’ll have to wait till Tom gets home.’

Bernie ran around her when she tried to walk away, and then sat down and barked up at a shelf that was screwed to the side of the cabinet. Skye followed his gaze and saw a rusted old biscuit tin. Intrigued, she reached for it, and was amazed to see a load of old keys nestled among the buttons, reels of cotton and various other bits and bobs that it contained.

‘Oh, you clever boy,’ she exclaimed, laughing when Bernie ran back to the door. ‘Come on, then; let’s see if we can find one that fits.’

Bernie waited patiently as she tried the keys one by one. But as soon as she found the right one and started to open the door, he shoved his nose through the gap and squeezed his way out. Nervous of following in case someone should happen to be passing, Skye watched from behind the door as he emptied his bladder against an old bicycle. Alarmed when he then trotted into the long grass and she lost sight of him, she hissed, ‘Bernie, come back!
Bernie
!’

Annoyed with herself, because Tom had told her not to open the door, and now she had lost his dog, Skye stuck her head outside and peered around to make sure that nobody was around. Then, calling ‘
Bernie?
’ in a loud whisper, she made her way across the cluttered yard. He was nowhere in sight, but she heard a scratching sound and followed it through the long grass and around the side of an old shed.

Bernie was pawing at the door, but he sat down when he saw her, as if waiting for her to let him in. She glanced at the cobwebs and shuddered. ‘I don’t think so, mate. Come on.’ She patted her thigh and turned to go back to the house, but hesitated when he didn’t follow. ‘What’s up, boy?’

When Bernie barked and then lay down with his head on his paws, Skye groaned. ‘Come on, you don’t want to go in there. Let’s go back to the house and I’ll find you something nice to eat. Would you like that? Some nice din-dins?’

She sighed when Bernie still didn’t budge. She really didn’t fancy getting attacked by an army of spiders. But he seemed desperate to go in there, for some reason, and if letting him have a quick look around would get him to come back to the house she supposed it wouldn’t hurt.

The door was locked when she tried the handle, so she said, ‘Okay, wait there while I go and get those keys. But if you’re not here when I get back, you’re in big trouble.’

Amused with herself for talking to Bernie as if he could understand a word she was saying, Skye made her way back to the house. She heard a car approaching just as she reached it and, terrified that it might be the police, she ran inside and peeped out through the dirty net curtain. Her legs shook with relief when she saw that it was Tom, and she quickly opened the door again.

‘You scared me half to death,’ she said, smiling as Tom stepped out of the car. ‘I thought you were at work.’

Anger blazing in his eyes, he strode towards her, demanding, ‘How did you unlock that door?’

Her smile slipping, Skye said, ‘I found some keys. Bernie wanted to go out.’

‘Where is he?’ Tom peered around.

Skye pointed in the general direction of the shed but decided not to mention that she had ventured round there, too. She wasn’t sure why Tom was so annoyed with her, but she didn’t want to make him even more so.

‘
BERNIE
!’ Tom yelled. ‘Get back here!’

‘He only wanted a wee,’ Skye murmured, hugging herself when she heard the harshness of his tone. ‘It’s my fault, not his.’

‘I told you not to open the door,’ Tom snapped. ‘If anyone had seen you, you’d be going straight to prison – and so would I for letting you stay here. Is that what you want?’

‘No.’ Skye shook her head and dipped her gaze guiltily. It was no wonder he was angry. He was trying to protect her, and she had risked being caught and getting them both into trouble. ‘Sorry, I didn’t think.’

‘Well, you need to listen to me in future,’ Tom said, pushing her back inside when the dog came slinking back. ‘All it’ll take is for one person to see you, and that’s it – game over.’

‘I know,’ Skye said contritely. Then, wincing when he kicked out at Bernie, she cried, ‘Don’t do that! I just told you it was my fault.’

‘He knows he’s not allowed out unless I’m here.’ Tom eyed the dog as it scampered inside with its tail between its legs. ‘Last time he got loose he tried to attack someone, and the police said they’ll shoot him if it ever happens again.’

‘God, that’s horrible,’ Skye gasped.

Tom gave her a dark look and then went back to the car and took several bulging carrier bags out of the boot before following her inside.

‘I got out of work early so I could do some shopping,’ he told her, dumping the bags on the ledge. ‘Thought I’d best stock up, seeing as we don’t know how long this is going to go on for.’

Desperate to get back into his good books, Skye said, ‘I’ll put it away, if you want?’

Tom relocked the door and slipped his jacket off. Then, breathing in deeply to shake off his bad mood, he held out his arms and said, ‘You can do it in a minute. I want my kiss first.’

Skye closed her eyes when he pulled her close and forced his tongue between her teeth. She didn’t like it any more than she had the first time, but she told herself that she would get used to it – eventually.

When it was over and Tom let her go, she waited until he turned to get something out of his pocket before quickly wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. She gave him an innocent smile when he turned back to her, and said, ‘I was going to do some cleaning. Have you got any bleach, and cloths, and that?’