Afraid (6 page)

‘What if she grasses us up?’ Simone asked. ‘She looks the type, little mardy arse.’

‘You said the same about
her
.’ Nadine jerked a thumb towards Jackie. ‘But she was smart enough to keep her gob shut. And that one will, an’ all – if she knows what’s good for her.’

As the others walked on, laughing at the memory of the kicking they had given
her
not so very long ago, Jackie shuffled miserably along behind them. She knew exactly what was coming to the new girl – and she didn’t envy her one little bit.

Lucy was vacuuming the landing carpet when Skye came out of the toilet a short time later. ‘Stop right there,’ she ordered, stamping down on the Hoover’s off-switch when Skye tried to scuttle past. ‘The dining room is
that
way.’

‘I’m not hungry,’ Skye muttered.

‘Are you ill?’ Lucy raised an eyebrow. ‘Anorexic? Bulimic?’

‘No.’ Skye shook her head. ‘I just—’

‘Then do as you’re told, and go down for lunch.’ Lucy cut her off. ‘I’ve got enough to deal with around here without having to worry about silly girls starving themselves to death.’

Too scared to argue, and sensing that it would be futile to try, Skye did as she’d been told and made her way downstairs.

Ten kids were seated around the table when she walked into the dining room. They had all been chattering loudly but they fell silent when they noticed her, and Skye felt the heat rise to her cheeks when all eyes turned her way. Relieved when they went back to their conversations after a couple of seconds, she skirted around the table and headed for the serving hatch, through which she could see Col and a middle-aged woman moving around in what appeared to be the kitchen.

‘Ah, you made it.’ Col beamed when he saw Skye. ‘Feeling better now?’

‘Not really,’ she mumbled, feeling sick again as the aroma of the food that was sitting in serving dishes on his side of the hatch reached her. ‘Lucy made me come down.’

Already ladling food onto a plate, Col said, ‘You’ll feel a lot better with something in your stomach.’

When he handed the plate to her, Skye gazed down at the limp-looking piece of fish, a mound of lumpy mashed potato and a pile of garden peas, and swallowed deeply. It looked totally unappetising but she hadn’t eaten a thing since yesterday lunchtime, so she supposed she ought to at least try it.

The three older kids had already left the room by the time she carried her plate to the table, and the younger ones got up and wandered out pretty much as soon as she sat down. Glad to be alone, because she’d been self-conscious about eating in front of strangers ever since her mum had told her that she ate like a pig, Skye cut off a tiny piece of the fish – and was surprised to find that it didn’t taste half as bad as it looked.

When Col glanced out of the hatch a few minutes later and saw that her plate was almost empty, he said, ‘Attagirl! Now, how about some jelly and ice cream for afters?’

Determined not to let him think that he was winning her over, Skye shook her head.

‘Oh, well, all the more for me.’ Col grinned. ‘Last one to finish usually clears up, by the way. But I’ll let you off, seeing as it’s your first day.’

Skye stood up without answering and headed for the door.

‘Going back to your room?’ Col asked. ‘I’ll pop up when I’ve finished down here; tell you about some of the activities we’ve got lined up for next week. I’m sure there’ll be something we can tempt you with.’

Skye pulled a face and carried on walking. He was one of the most cheerful people she’d ever met, and she had a sneaking suspicion that she might have quite liked him if they had met under different circumstances. But she had no intention of getting involved in any of his stupid activities and she hoped he wasn’t going to keep trying to gee her up, because she just wanted to be left alone.

Back in her room, she lay on the bed and stared at the stains on the underside of the mattress above until her eyes drifted shut.

Waking with a start some time later at the sound of raised voices in the corridor outside, Skye crept over to the door and pressed her ear against the wood in time to hear Lucy blast Nadine for having left the grounds without permission.

‘I’m getting seriously fed up with your lack of regard for the rules,’ the woman was saying. ‘I don’t know how many times I’ve warned you, but if you think you can carry on doing as you please without any consequences, you’d best think again.’

‘What you gonna do, put me on the naughty step?’ Nadine shot back insolently.

‘No, I’ll make arrangements for you to be moved to a different facility,’ said Lucy. ‘See how you get along without your little lapdogs egging you on and making you feel like some kind of big shot.’

‘Are you calling my mates dogs?’ Nadine demanded sarcastically. ‘I can get you kicked out for that.’

‘Go ahead and report me, then,’ Lucy challenged. ‘But I can assure you that the only one who’ll be leaving is
you
. Now lose the attitude and get yourself down to dinner. And you lot can get moving, too,’ she added sharply, obviously talking to Nadine’s friends. ‘And that goes for anybody else who’s still up here,’ she yelled then, banging on Skye’s door.

Almost jumping out of her skin, Skye hugged herself and waited for a few minutes to make sure that the corridor was clear before reluctantly opening her door. She wasn’t hungry, but she had no doubt that Lucy would only come and drag her downstairs if she didn’t go of her own accord.

Nadine and the others had already been served and were seated at the table when Skye walked into the dining room. She pretended not to notice them as she made her way to the hatch. She had already been wary of Nadine but she was even more so now, because she figured the girl had to be
really
tough to disobey the rules
and
argue with that battleaxe Lucy.

When she’d been served, Skye carried her plate to the other end of the table and sat with the younger kids. She ate slowly in the hope that Nadine’s lot would finish quickly and go about their business. But they had obviously guessed what she was up to and her stomach churned as, one by one, all the other kids left the table, leaving just her and Nadine’s crew.

Ten agonising minutes dragged by. But just as Skye was wondering how she was ever going to get out of there in one piece, Lucy popped her head around the door and asked, ‘What’s taking you girls so long?’

‘Keep your hair on,’ Nadine drawled, flashing Skye a sly grin as she pushed her chair back and stood up. ‘We were just going.’

As Lucy shook her head and went about her business, Simone and Maz followed Nadine’s lead and stood up. But when Jackie also went to rise, Nadine shoved her back down, saying, ‘Where d’you think you’re going? It’s your turn to do the dishes.’

‘But
she
’s still here.’ Jackie nodded towards Skye.

‘Who?’ Nadine looked around. ‘I can’t see no one; you must be imagining things.’ She slapped Jackie on the back of the head, and then, laughing, linked arms with the others and strolled out.

Skye glanced at Jackie from beneath her lashes, and felt sorry for the girl when she saw that her cheeks were scarlet with embarrassment. She’d already sensed that this one wasn’t quite as nasty as the others, and didn’t understand why Jackie hung around with them when they were so mean to her.

‘Do you want me to help?’ she offered when Jackie started gathering the empty plates from around the table.

Jackie shook her head.

‘I don’t mind,’ Skye persisted, hoping that it would break the ice and she’d have someone to talk to while she was here.

‘I said
no
,’ Jackie hissed, scowling at her as she snatched her plate. ‘And don’t talk to me again, ’cos I don’t want to know you.’

Skye was offended, but she knew when she wasn’t wanted so she got up and left Jackie to it. Relieved to see that Nadine and the others weren’t waiting for her in the hall, she dashed up the stairs, desperate for the solitude of her room.

5

Skye stayed out of everyone’s way for the rest of the weekend, only venturing out of her room when she absolutely had to, to eat or to use the bathroom. Thanks to the uncomfortable mattress and the paper-thin walls through which she could hear everything that was going on in the adjoining rooms, she had barely slept and was exhausted by the time Monday morning came around.

It was Skye’s birthday, but she didn’t feel the slightest bit excited as she lay there listening to the other kids arguing in the corridor about whose turn it was to use the bathroom. According to Val, her dad knew she was here, but he never remembered her birthday when she was at home so it would be a miracle if he’d sent her a card. And she doubted that anyone here would even know.

Her suspicions were confirmed when Lucy marched into her room a few minutes later without so much as a smile, never mind a Happy Birthday greeting. She pushed herself up onto her elbows when the woman dropped a pile of clothes onto the end of her bed, and asked, ‘What’s that?’

‘Your uniform,’ said Lucy, tugging the thin curtains open. ‘You’ll get a new one when money starts coming through for you, but this will have to do for now.’ She turned now, and raised her eyebrows when she saw the look of disgust on Skye’s face. ‘Problem?’

‘It’s the wrong colour,’ Skye protested. ‘We wear red at my school, not green.’

‘You’ll be going to the local comp with everyone else while you’re here,’ Lucy told her. ‘The minibus takes you in but you all walk back together, so make sure you meet up with the others at the front gate at home-time. And don’t be late, or everyone will be grounded for a week,’ she warned as she headed back out into the corridor. ‘And that won’t make you very popular.’

Skye pulled the thin quilt over her head when Lucy had gone and released a silent scream. She hated the bitch with a passion – and hated even more the fact that she was being forced to go to a new school. The thought of seeing her friends again was one of the only things that had kept her going over this weekend, and she had been toying with the idea of skipping out at lunchtime to pay Hayley a quick visit. But that was out of the question now; and she couldn’t even call or message her, because they weren’t allowed to use phones or the internet here.

‘Help me,’ she whispered, pressing her angel to her lips. ‘I’ll do anything, just please, please,
please
get me out of here.’

Skye lay there for a few minutes more, praying for some kind of sign that her plea was about to be answered. Dismayed but not really surprised when nothing happened, she got up reluctantly and, not caring if the clothes she snatched off the pile fitted her, got dressed and made her way downstairs.

Nadine and the others had already claimed the back seat of the minibus when Skye climbed aboard after breakfast, and she could feel them staring at the back of her head when she took a seat up front. Apart from her little run-in with Jackie in the dining room, none of them had spoken directly to her in days, but she suspected they were just biding their time; waiting for an excuse to have another go at her. The tension was unbearable but she forced herself to gaze calmly out of the window, determined not to let Nadine see that she was getting to her.

When the minibus pulled up outside the school gates ten minutes later, Skye’s mood took yet another dip. Her old school had been surrounded by houses and greenery, but this place looked as cold and faceless as the home; and the kids who were hanging around outside the gates looked so rough that Skye doubted whether even Janet Hampson would dare to try it on with them.

That first impression carried through into the classroom, where Skye was greeted by dirty looks and whispers from her fellow pupils.

‘Who’s
that
tramp?’ she heard one of them say as she took the seat the teacher had directed her to at the front of the class. ‘Dunno,’ said another. ‘But it best stay away from me, ’cos I can smell it from here; scruffy bastard.’

Skye wanted to shrivel up and die when she heard this. She had stubbornly refused to take a bath since arriving at the home, resentful at being ordered to by Lucy. She also hadn’t washed her hair, and the disgusting green jumper made her skin look sallow and unhealthy. But it hadn’t even occurred to her that she might smell bad, and the shame at hearing that she did was overwhelming.

The teacher compounded her misery when, after taking the register, she announced that Skye was from the children’s home and asked everyone to make her feel welcome – a plea that was guaranteed to have the exact opposite effect, as Skye soon found out. The only ray of light in the whole horrible experience was finding out that she was in the year below Nadine and the others and so wouldn’t have to share any of their classes.

The first four lessons were single sessions, and Skye struggled to navigate her way around the unfamiliar building without help after the two girls she had asked for directions told her to get lost, and the teacher she approached almost bit her head off for wandering around when everybody else was already in class.

The stress of being treated like a leper and having to constantly look over her shoulder in case Nadine caught up with her brought on a headache. It got worse and worse as the afternoon wore on, and by the time her last lesson came around Skye felt so rough that she couldn’t concentrate on a word the teacher was saying – which didn’t go unnoticed.

‘Are you paying attention?’ the teacher barked, marching up to Skye’s desk and slamming a hand down on it. ‘I asked you to tell me the square root of sixteen.’

‘I don’t know,’ Skye mumbled, blushing with humiliation when she heard sniggers from the kids who were sitting behind her.

‘What do you mean, you don’t know?’ The teacher scowled. ‘Are you some kind of simpleton?’

The sniggers changed to outright laughter at this, and Skye couldn’t take any more.

‘Where do you think you’re going?’ the teacher yelled when the girl jumped up from her seat and rushed towards the door. ‘The bell hasn’t gone yet. Get back here this instant!’

Skye ignored her and ran out into the corridor and on down to the girls’ toilets. But just as she reached out to push the door, it was pulled open from the other side and her heart lurched painfully when she found herself face to face with Jackie. Terrified that Nadine and the others might be right behind, she stepped back and glanced around in search of someone who could help if they tried to do anything.