After Perfect (40 page)

I am forever indebted to Todd Rubenstein, who believed I could write this story on my own, and for his love and dedication to InsideOUT Writers. A huge thank-you to the InsideOUT Writers's family: teachers and staff. To the alumni, who know more about resilience and courage than I ever will. And a special shout-out to my Girls D Unit at Central Juvenile Hall, for their extraordinary voices that keep me inspired and humble every week. A big thank-you to Scott Budnick, for introducing me to InsideOUT Writers and for his inspiring work at the Anti-Recidivism Coalition.

I would like to thank the wonderful team at Foundry Literary + Media: my agent, Peter McGuigan, who believed in
After Perfect
in its earliest stages four years ago when it was just a messy scrapbook of stories, and who showed up for me when I was finally ready to write it. Many thanks to Matt Wise and Kirsten Neuhaus. And a special thank-you to Aaron Karo, for guiding me through the proposal process, and Dan Farah, for stepping in when chaos ensued.

Thank you to Jill Schary Robinson's Wimpole Street Writers—my writer's group—for their camaraderie and fellowship, and whose stories and words inspire me to be a better writer. I owe a special thank-you to Hannah Sward, Tiffany Bushnell, Craig Robinson, and George Jordan.

There's nothing like having four brothers looking out for you with unconditional love and brutal honesty. David Petruzzi, Robert Krauss, Noah Gonzalez, and Max Crumm, words cannot express my love and thanks.

Thank you to Milana Rabkin, who was the first to say, “You should write a book.” An enormous thank-you to Alice Fox, neighbor and friend, who spent hours listening to pages and making me fresh pots of coffee. France Demoulin, Samantha Colicchio, Claire Woolner, Blaire Borkowski, Kara Froula, and Melanie Thomas, for listening. Cole Williams, for keeping me fit and mindful. The Seidlitz family, Auntie Anne, Uncle Pete, Ashley and Elizabeth, and the McDowell family, Uncle Larry, Alex, and Brianne, for being there.

A very special thank-you to Sarah Fenske at
LA Weekly
for publishing my article “An Open Letter to the Makers of
The Wolf of Wall Street
and the Wolf Himself,” and Hillel Aron, for passing it along. When my article went viral I received thousands of emails of love and support from across the globe. I read every single one. I'd like to thank all of those who wrote to me, and whose stories and words of kindness became my engine on the days I felt like giving up.

I'd like to thank my high school history teacher, Alex Haight, for being the first person to teach me how to construct an argument and write an essay.

To my little Havanese, Zelda Fitzgerald, who slept underneath my desk while I wrote most of these pages, and who always knew when I needed a good walk.

Lastly, I would like to thank my mom and my sisters, who are survivors of their own individual journeys. The pain on these pages belongs not only to me but also to them. I thank them for their bravery in encouraging me to “get it out, Christina, get it out,” so that what was left inside of me could find its place to live. Thank you.

Gallery Books

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Certain names and identifying characteristics have been changed, whether or not so noted in the text. The timeline for certain events has been reordered or compressed.

Copyright © 2015 by Christina McDowell

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Gallery Books hardcover edition June 2015

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Interior design by Jaime Putorti

Jacket design by Regina Starace

Jacket image courtesy of Christina McDoweel; airplane by Getty Images

Author photograph by Elisabeth Caren

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

McDowell, Christina.

After perfect : a memoir / by Christina McDowell.

pages cm

1. McDowell, Christina. 2. McDowell, Christina—Childhood and youth. 3. Prousalis, Tom. 4. Fathers and daughters—Biography. 5. Securities fraud—United States. 6. Securities industry—United States. I. Title.

CT275.M465358A3 2015

306.874'2—dc23

2014039144

ISBN 978-1-4767-8532-5

ISBN 978-1-4767-8542-4 (ebook)