After Tex (13 page)

“You won't know if I'm locked in or not,” Tess retorted. “You'll be in New York.”

So, Megan thought, she did know about the trip, and more than likely, that was what had set her off. “Sweetie, I could be in Timbuktu and I would still know every little detail about what is going on where you're concerned. Remember that next time you get some crazy idea in your head.”

“I figured…” Tess began, sounding surprisingly meek.

“I think I know what you figured,” Megan replied more gently. “But you figured wrong. I wasn't going
to take you to New York against your will. And I wasn't going to go away like your mother did and never come back. Whether I'm here or in some other state entirely, I'm in your life to stay. Got that?”

A slow smile spread across Tess's face. “Yeah,” she whispered. “I think I do.”

T
ess was still laid up in bed when Megan had to leave Sunday for New York. The girl looked so forlorn when she went in to say goodbye that guilt washed over Megan, even though she knew Tess would be in good hands. Mrs. Gomez and Jake were both hovering over her. To Megan's surprise, though, Tess grabbed her hand and clung to it.

“You'll be back on Friday, right?” she asked for the hundredth time. Megan's reassurances never seemed to satisfy her for very long.

“It will probably be late, but yes, I will be here.”

“And I can call you anytime I want?”

“Anytime. Mrs. Gomez has the number.”

“What's your assistant's name again?”

“Todd.”

“And he'll let me talk to you?”

“No matter what I'm doing.”

Tess finally seemed satisfied with that. “I probably won't call at all, you know,” she said, her bluster back.

“I know,” Megan said, hiding a smile.

“You might as well go. There's a show coming on now I want to watch.”

Surprised by another of those oddly maternal
twinges, Megan almost bent down to drop a kiss on Tess's cheek, but obviously Tess anticipated it. She scowled. “Don't even think about it.”

Megan straightened and settled for smoothing the comforter on Tess's bed. “I'll be seeing you.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Tess said, her gaze already focused on the TV.

Outside the room, Megan sighed. “So much for greeting card moments.”

“She does not wish to seem as if she needs you,” Mrs. Gomez explained.

“I know. And it's not as if I'm any good at this.”

“You are doing fine,
niña.
Nobody is ever perfect at being a parent.”

“Forget perfection,” Megan retorted. “I'll be content if she just survives my parenting skills.”

“She will survive,” Mrs. Gomez assured her. “In fact, she will thrive. You will see.”

Jake offered the same opinion as he drove Megan to Laramie to catch her flight. “You're doing just fine with Tess. Now, go to New York, put everything here out of your mind for a few days and concentrate on your job. I'll hold the fort.”

To her surprise, on the long trip to New York with its flight connection in Denver, Megan was able to follow Jake's advice. She finally managed to push Tess, the ranch and even Jake out of her mind. She concentrated on the latest batch of faxes from Todd. It was late when she got to her apartment, later still when she finally pushed away the last of the papers and fell into a troubled sleep.

She'd set the alarm for six, determined to use every single second she was in New York to full advantage.
Grumbling when it went off, she stumbled out of bed and into the shower. An hour later she was on her way to the office. When she walked through the door, Todd's gaping expression made all the effort worthwhile.

“Okay,” she said briskly, moving into her office. “What's up first?”

Though he looked as exhausted as she felt, he efficiently ticked off a list of meetings that would have daunted anyone else. Megan merely nodded.

“Let's get to it.”

“Sorry. We can't.”

She stared at him. “Why not?”

“Because you are never ready for real meetings before ten. Since you were traveling yesterday, I figured you'd be late. I didn't even schedule the first one until then. Right this second you and I are the only ones in the office.”

She heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank God,” she murmured, folding her arms on top of her desk and resting her head on them. “Wake me at 9:59.”

“Oh, no,” Todd protested, nudging her arm until she lifted her head. “I can have someone in here in thirty minutes. I'm not wasting the precious few days you intend to stick around. For tomorrow and Wednesday Micah has scheduled back-to-back tapings. Five each day. That'll give us two weeks of shows, which should relieve the anxiety level for the syndicator. If you can stand the pace, I suppose we could work on this schedule every month. Can you get here every other week? Or do you intend to be back here full-time?”

“I wish I knew,” Megan said. “And I don't intend
to discuss it without coffee. Lots and lots of coffee, brewed from those vanilla hazelnut beans you grind yourself.”

Todd brought the coffee, then sat down across from her, his expression worried. “This can't go on, you know. Not indefinitely. Look at you. You're beat and this is the first time you've tried the cross-country thing. Just imagine how exhausting it will be if you try to pull it off twice a month. Top that with Micah's stress level when you're not around to rein her in and we've got trouble on the horizon.”

“I'll get used to it,” Megan insisted. “So will Micah.”

“What about the rest of us? What if we can't get used to it?”

She studied him intently. “What are you telling me?”

“I'm just saying that it's not easy keeping things afloat when the boss is half a continent away. People are used to you signing off on every little thing. When you're not here, everyone starts to second-guess themselves. Either you're going to have to be a dayin, day-out presence here like always, or you're going to have to start giving people more autonomy. There are already serious cracks in the smooth-running machinery around here.”

“It's only been a little over a week. We're still working out the kinks. Except for Micah and Caitlyn, I thought it was going pretty smoothly with the faxes and e-mail.”

“Because that's what everyone wanted you to think. After all, this was a tough situation. Nobody expected you to bounce right back here after Tex's
funeral. Now they suspect it could last indefinitely, and it's grating on their nerves, not being able to pop in and out of your office for a quick response. If they figure out it could turn permanent, they'll freak.”

“I can't uproot Tess,” Megan said in a plea for understanding. “Not yet. You should see her, Todd. She's angry and hurting. She's already run away once and scared the living daylights out of us. She's just waiting for me to walk out and abandon her like her mother did.”

If she'd expected his sympathy, Megan would have been disappointed. He was straightforward as always. “You do what you have to do,” he said, “but I just thought you ought to know how stressed people around here are beginning to feel.”

She looked him in the eye. “You, too?”

His gaze shifted away, then came back to clash with hers. He removed his glasses so she'd get the full effect.

“Me most of all,” he said quietly, but emphatically. “I'm on the front line for all the flack when you're not here, but I don't have answers and I can't get them fast enough to suit anyone. It's not a position I like being in.”

Megan grinned ruefully. “I know. You're an approval junkie, just like me. To top it off, you're organized and efficient, the two skills I prize most in you. The circumstances aren't allowing you to be either one, right?”

“Exactly.”

“I'll figure out a solution, Todd. I promise you. I won't leave you hanging out there for much longer.”

“I'm sorry if I'm making things more difficult for you, but I thought you ought to know.”

“You were exactly right,” she assured him. “I needed to know.”

And now that she did, Megan discovered that the terrible panic that had begun nagging her in Whispering Wind had followed her right back to New York. In the city where she'd once felt on top of the world, she was suddenly filled with uncertainty, and she didn't like it. Not one bit.

 

Even though he professed a lack of interest in actually having clients, Jake found himself spending afternoons in his office more often than not while Megan was away. Now that he was beginning to finish up the last of the little projects he'd planned for his home, he'd discovered he wasn't half as crazy about having time on his hands as he'd thought he would be. He was itching to get control of Tex's ranch, to have active, sometimes back-breaking work to do. He could have bought another, smaller ranch, but Tex's place was the only one that interested him. There were probably a dozen perverse reasons why that was so. Retaliation for Tex's misjudgment, for his outright lies to Meggie topped the list.

In the meantime, going into his office at least gave his day some sort of structure, even if all he did once he got there was to prop his feet on his desk and stare out the window. With Megan in New York, he was more restless than ever and irritable because of it. He'd been to visit Tess earlier and she'd kicked him out because of his dark mood.

“You're no fun now that
she's
not here,” she had
complained. “You might as well go and moon over her somewhere else. I have better things to do.”

The accuracy of the eight-year-old's assessment had been irksome. He'd left with a promise to return with ice cream later in the day.

“Cherry vanilla,” she'd demanded. “With hot fudge sauce, okay?”

“It'll melt by the time I get here.”

“Not if you have 'em put the hot fudge in a separate carton, then put it on when you arrive.” Her gaze had narrowed. “Did you really have some kind of big-shot career in Chicago?”

“Yes. Why?”

“'Cause you don't seem to get the easiest stuff.”

“I'll work on it,” he'd assured her wryly.

Thinking back on the conversation, he smiled. Tess was a treasure, all right. He wondered if Megan had realized that yet. She'd been worried about Tess the other night, no doubt about it. She'd even seemed uneasy about going off and leaving her while the girl was recuperating. Had that been anything more than a sense of duty? he wondered. For Tess's sake he hoped so. He hoped that Tess was sneaking into Megan's heart just as she had into his.

Funny how his thoughts had tracked right back to Meggie again. He really needed to do something about that.

“Coffee,” he muttered, lowering his feet to the floor. “Maybe a decent cup of coffee will help.”

He strode across the street to the diner, which was still busy with the lunchtime crowd. He found a spot at the end of the counter closest to the register.

“What can I get for you, Jake?” Henrietta asked
as she passed out hamburgers to the customers on his left. She had a pencil tucked behind her ear and worry lines in her forehead.

“Just coffee.” He studied her intently. “You okay?”

She nodded curtly. “We'll talk later.” She grabbed a cup with one hand, the pot with the other, and poured. “I hear Megan's gone off to New York again.”

“For the week.”

“She'll be back then?”

“That's the plan.”

“Well, good. I know of at least one person who must be thrilled with that.”

Jake glanced up. “Who?”

“You, of course. You always did have eyes for that girl.”

“That was a long time ago, Henrietta.”

“Some things never change.” She glanced toward a booth. “Gotta go. You holler if you decide you want something to eat.”

Jake stared glumly into his coffee and tried to figure out why Megan had such a hold on him. The coffee cooled and he still had no answers. Glancing around, he realized that the diner had emptied out except for a party of four strangers in a back booth. Tourists from the looks of them, with their stiff, unfaded jeans and fancy, spotless Stetsons.

Henrietta slid onto the stool next to him, eased her feet out of her shoes and sighed. “I'm getting too dadgum old to be on my feet all day long.”

“I thought you'd hired Barbara Sue Perkins to help out.”

“I did,” she said with a weary expression. “Unfortunately, she's already taken off more days than she's been on. Today's another one of them.”

“Fire her and hire someone more reliable.”

“Can't,” Henrietta said succinctly. “Barbara Sue needs the work.”

“But if she's not showing up…”

“It's not that she doesn't want to or that she's irresponsible. She's embarrassed.” Henrietta glanced around, then lowered her voice. “That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. She's got bruises again. That fool she married hit her when he found out she'd gotten work. He's scared she's about to walk out on him, which truth be told, she ought to do.”

Jake absorbed the information with a mounting sense of anger. “Lyle Perkins beats her?”

“Only when she needs it, to hear him tell it.”

“Why the hell does she stay?”

“Low self-esteem would be my guess, but then I get that from watching all them TV talk shows.”

“She ought to get out while she still can. Do they have kids?”

“A boy and a girl. It can't be easy for them seeing their mama messed up like that. Makes me want to go out there and wring Lyle's scrawny old neck myself.”