After The One (The One Series Duet) (26 page)

“I’m just—”

“I don’t know what’s going on, but you both need to chill out. There’s a camera over there hiding, waiting for anything to happen,” Koko interrupted as she broke up our conversation in a firm, but hushed tone. She turned to Julian. “They came by the table three times looking for you. You’re supposed to do some interview and a toast so why don’t you go do that.” She turned to me. “And I just got your text. Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” Julian asked, scrubbing his face with his hands.

“I’m leaving,” I answered, giving him a blank stare.

“Leaving to go back to the villa? Already?”

I glared at him before answering. “I don’t feel well. I saw something that turned my stomach.”

His eyebrows flew up. “Are you leaving because of what happened with Tate? I’m sorry I overreacted. It’s not even about him. It’s been a hellish night and I may have had one more shot than necessary. I saw you two together and—I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I felt myself on the brink where anger and sadness met. “We’ll talk later. Go handle your business.”

“Zoe, fuck them. I want to make sure you’re okay.” Julian grabbed my face and kissed me. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against my lips. “I love you.”

My emotions were all over the place and the last place I wanted to cry was in front of a bunch of strangers. I broke away from him. “I love you.”

Why must you flavor your lies with the salt of my tears?

The metallic taste of raw pain doesn’t sit well on my pallet.

I swallow it anyway.

Fresh.

Rare.

Unprepared.

So fresh I still can hear the sound of it.

So rare I don’t quite recognize it.

So unprepared I don’t see it coming.

Tender, firm skin gave no indication of what was within.

But it’s cooked-to-order so you knew.

The red, hot heat of hurt did not cook this pain through

Chef or butcher, who are you?

Raw pain seasoned isn’t something to savor.

So don’t use the salt of my tears to give it flavor.

As Koko loudly returned from a trip to the villa next door to grab margarita mix, I closed the pages of my notebook, hiding the poem I’d just written.

“Okay, I needed a refill for this. I did not see this coming,” she sat down in the lounge chair beside me on the rooftop deck. “What do you mean by Tate is here? You mean,
here
here… like he’s here for the wedding weekend?” Her eyes were as big as saucers as she waited for an answer.

Koko and I had the place to ourselves while we lamented on the roof. As soon as Koko saw Bryce, she was also ready to leave the meet-and-greet. Julian had to do an on-air interview with Bryce. Lenny and Keisha stayed with Scott, Omar and James and planned to get a ride back with them. So Koko and I sat on top of the villa, overlooking the gorgeous property. She drank her emotions away while I stewed in mine. Even the water glimmering under the moonlight and the beautiful view didn’t alter our moods.

“I have no idea.” I shook my head. “It was seriously awkward. I mean, he was standing right there in front of me. I hadn’t seen him in years and then all of a sudden, he just strolls up as if he were an invited guest and says ‘hey!’ As if he didn’t walk out of my life five years ago and act like I didn’t matter.”

“Exactly! You loved Tate and he said he loved you. He was all set to spend his life with you until he knew he could get groupie love as a professional athlete so he leaves you and then just pops up at your wedding? That’s shady as hell.”

“Right? That’s exactly what I was thinking! I haven’t seen or talked to that man in five years. Why would he feel like this would be the time or the place to catch up? And who said I wanted to catch up?”

Koko crossed her long legs. “Okay so what happened after he walked up to you? And what did he look like?”

I let my head drop back against the cream pillow of the chair. “He looked like he always looked.”

“Hot?”

“Hot as hell.” I paused, taking a sip of water. “He had a navy blue fitted suit and a baby blue shirt that looked really good against his brown skin. He seemed taller and more muscular. He looked like a professional athlete and not like the guy I met outside the library a million years ago.”

“Were you tempted?”

My lip curled as I looked at Koko in disbelief. “What? You’re not serious.”

“One last ride before you become a devoted wife?” she teased, amusement thick in her voice.

I gave her a look. “Absolutely not. That would be like trading more for less.”

Even though Julian clearly had no problem trading something for money…something he paid Lillian for…something he said he wasn’t going to tell me…something he’s hiding from me. NO! No, I will not let myself go down that slippery slope. I’m just going to talk to him tomorrow. We are a healthy couple in a healthy relationship. We are honest with each other. We are—

“Zoe, I was kidding. I promise!” Koko’s wispy voice interrupted my thoughts.

I waved the thought off and looked over at her. “Oh no, I know. I started thinking about…” I shook my head knowing I needed to talk to Julian about what I’d overheard before I talked to anyone else. “So Tate is standing there looking like he was going to be a commentator on the NFL Network or something and before I could get over the shock of seeing him, Julian walks up.”

“What?” Koko squeaked, jumping from her seat. She paced in front of me. “What?! Is that what that was all about when I came up?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Julian comes out of the ballroom and immediately wraps his arms around me. He’s all apologetic for being busy and for his phone dying, and then he kind of looks at Tate like ‘who the hell are you?’ So I introduce them and it doesn’t go well. Julian was a little drunk and Tate was a little bit of an ass so I kicked Tate out. You came up maybe two minutes later and you know Julian had to do that on-air interview thing with Bryce.”

Koko made a noise that sounded like a cross between a cat with a hairball and dry heaving. “And since Julian went to be interviewed by Leah’s boyfriend, you didn’t have a chance to talk about it?”

I stifled a giggle. “Okay, first and foremost, he’s not Leah’s boyfriend, he’s your boyfriend. But yeah, we haven’t talked about it. And even if I would’ve stayed, we wouldn’t have been able to talk there. There’s always someone with a camera around. In the contract, they aren’t able to approach me for comment more than once an event; however, if we are together, they can, mainly because Julian is required to talk to them. It sucks because if I’m with him and I don’t speak or acknowledge the camera, I look like a bitch.”

She sat down, tucking her legs underneath her. “But won’t you be with Julian most of the weekend?”

“Exactly.” I rolled my eyes. “That was their plan all along, I guess. If I want to spend time with my fiancé at one of the activities for our wedding, I’m inevitably subjected to Julian’s contractual obligations.”

“That sucks!”

“Yeah, it does.” We sat in silence for a minute before I stated, “Now, please tell me you came face-to-face with Bryce tonight.”

Koko sighed loudly. “Yeah, for a second. We talked. He said the same thing he said before.”

“So…what’s the problem?”

She was quiet for a long time. “When I saw him with Leah, it wasn’t just the fact that I hate that bitch. It was the fact that it hurt. I mean, it really hurt, and I don’t know if I’m ready to give him that much power over me. He could really hurt me, Zoe.”

I reached over and grabbed Koko’s hand. “You’re in love.”

She nodded slowly. “And that scares me.”

“It can be scary,” I admitted, squeezing her hand once more before letting it go. “It’s always scary when you’re vulnerable, but when you’re with the right person, you also feel safe.”

“Well I just feel scared. There’s nothing safe about feeling scared for your life.”

I laughed. “You’re going to be fine. You just need to tell him that you love him.”

“And what if he doesn’t say it back?”

“He wouldn’t still be trying to plead his case to you if he didn’t.”

We sat in silence, lost in our own individual thoughts, hers presumably about Bryce and mine completely focused on Julian.

I wish his phone hadn’t died. Then I would just call him and tell him to come over tonight so we can talk.

Minutes passed and then we heard voices. First it was my family and Julian’s family talking outside their villas before going inside. Ten minutes later, the loud, boisterous conversations between my brother and his girlfriend, my cousin, Julian’s cousins, Keisha, Lenny, Omar, Scott, and James shattered the solitude. They were talking about taking a midnight swim in the heated pool.

Koko stood, folding her arms over her chest. “Let’s go down and party. We need to shake off the stench of our past with a nice stiff drink.”

I pulled my jacket tighter around me and rubbed my stomach. “I’m tired so I’m going to head to bed. Besides, I won’t be having a nice stiff drink until maybe next fall.” I stopped my hand mid-rub. “Oh, wow…that’s a long time.”

Koko laughed as she pulled me to my feet and embraced me in the tightest hug. “I’ll drink enough for the both of us. Don’t worry. I got it covered.”

Chuckling, I squeezed her back. “I’m sure you do.”

Walking through the rooftop door and down the steps to the patio outside my bedroom, we entered the darkened room quietly. “I still can’t believe Tate is here,” Koko said in a stage whisper. “And I can’t believe I missed him and your interaction with him.”

I closed and locked the patio door behind us. “You didn’t miss much. He’s a good-looking guy in a nice suit; there were a million of those running around tonight.”

“Well, if he’s at the rehearsal party, I’m going to punch him in his handsome face. We’ll see how much groupie ass he’ll get with a bloody nose and a black eye.”

I flipped on the light. “I don’t want you to go to jail. Maybe just a bloody nose.” My voice broke from amusement. I pulled off my jacket and she balled her hands into fists as we crossed the room to the bedroom door. “I’m kidding. Don’t hit him. I’m so over him and that whole situation. I have Julian so I’ve clearly moved on. I was just shocked to see him.”

With her hand on the bedroom doorknob, Koko turned to look at me. “I would’ve been shocked too—especially with how you used to melt when Tate wore suits.”

“No, don’t get me wrong. Tate’s definitely hot—”

Although she was still looking at me, Koko opened the door to leave. I stopped my sentence abruptly as I saw Julian’s muscular frame in the doorway.

Shit shit shit shit shit! Did he just hear that? I was going to say ‘Tate’s definitely hot, but not hotter than Julian.’ Shit! This looks bad.

Koko turned her head to see what had captured my attention and screamed.

“Julian! You scared the shit out of me!” She fell into a fit of giggles, her gasping breaths raining down over the quiet room.

Julian stood firm, seemingly unaffected, but I noticed his chest rising and falling quickly indicating that we startled him as well.

The sound of Koko’s laugh was usually enough to send me spiraling into amusement, but something about the way Julian was staring at me kept me from feeling anything but tense.

Sensing the mood, Koko collected herself and told us both goodnight before fleeing the scene. We didn’t even get a chance to reply because she ran away so fast.

Julian walked into the room soundlessly and closed the door behind him.

“I’ve been calling you,” Julian said simply.

I couldn’t read his expression and it rubbed me the wrong way. My eyes raked his body. He was still wearing his black pants, but his white dress shirt was untucked and his bowtie was hanging loosely around his neck. He was sexily disheveled and unnervingly calm. I wanted to kiss him and yell at him at the same time.

It would make for an unproductive conversation, but one hell of a fuck.

My eyes narrowed a little. “You said your phone was dead so I left my phone on the charger while I sat on the roof.” I put my hands on my hips. “So which is it, your phone is dead or you were calling me?”

“Both.” He walked toward me, something burning in his grey eyes. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me to the oversized chair in the corner as he continued, “My phone was dead. Bryce had a charger so I charged it during the interview and then I called you.”

“Well my phone was on the charger so I didn’t get your call.” Even though I was behind him, I gestured to the phone plugged in and sitting on the nightstand. “So…how was the rest of the party?”

“Everyone seemed to have a good time.” Julian sat down and pulled me into his lap. “But I missed you. I didn’t want to be there without you and I hated that I didn’t have a way to get in touch with you…and how you left.”

From my position curled in his lap, I couldn’t help but melt into him. My body was made for his and without even thinking about it, I relaxed in his arms.

“I missed you too,” I replied softly, kissing his lips.

“I rescheduled our Italy trip. We can go after the baby is born. I was looking at our support system today and we can take a trip whenever. Between your parents and mine, your brother, our friends, we don’t have to go to Italy in January. We can do that in August or whenever you feel up to it. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and honestly, I just want to be married to you. It doesn’t matter what we do or when we do it. As long as I’m with you, that’s all that matters.”

He kissed me gently, sweetly. Allowing his lips to overpower mine, he controlled the tempo of the kiss and made me dizzy with want.

My heart exploded with a host of emotions. I inhaled deeply, the butterflies swirling inside me as the unexpected information and the sweetness of his words caught me off guard. I put my hand on my stomach to quell the quiver. I couldn’t get caught up in my emotions. I needed to stay level-headed. Because I could smell the alcohol on his breath, I knew that getting answers would be easier.