Authors: T. C. Boyle
But then he told himself he wasn't about to be chased off his own beach by anybody, especially not some punk-ass kids who wouldn't know one end of hip from the other. He found a spot to park right across from the steps down to the beach and pulled his things out of the trunk with a quick angry jerk of his armâif he could run, if he could only run, he'd chase them down till their stinking weed-choked little punk lungs gave out, even if it took miles. The shits. The little shits. He was breathing hard, sweating under the band of the cap.
Then he was on the concrete steps, the Pacific opening up before him in an endless array of waves, that cool, fathomless smell on the air, the white crescent of the beach, blankets and umbrellas spread out across the sand as far as he could see in either direction. There was something about the scene that always lightened his mood, no matter how sorry for himself he was feeling. That was one thing he could never understand about Kim. Kim didn't like the beach. Too much sun. Bad for the skin. And the sandâthe sand was just another kind of grit, and she always bitched when she found a white spill of it on the carpet in the hall. But she liked it when he came home to her all aflame because he'd just watched a hundred women strip down to the essentials and rub themselves all over with the sweetest unguents and emollients an eight-ounce tube could hold. She liked that, all right.
He was halfway down the steps, studying a pair of girls descending ahead of him, when he heard the high, frenzied barking
of the dog. There they were, the three of them, in their boxcar shorts and thatch haircuts, laughing and jiving, throwing the stick as if nothing had happened. And nothing had, not to them, anyway. Edison froze, right there, six steps down. It was as if he were paralyzed, as if he'd suffered a stroke as he reached for the iron rail and set one gimpy leg down in front of the other. An older couple, trainwrecks of the flesh, brushed past him, then a young mother trailing kids and plastic buckets. He could not move. The dog barked. There was a shout from down the beach. The stick flew.
And then, patting down his pockets as if he'd forgotten something, he swung slowly round and limped up the steps. For a long moment he sat in the car, fiddling with the tuner until he found a rap station, and he cranked it as loud as it would go, though he hated the music, hated it. Finally he slammed the car in gear and took off with a lurch, the thunderous bass and hammering lyrics thrusting a dagger into the corpse of the afternoon, over and over, all the way down the street.
He thought of the barâof lunch at the bar and a cocktail to pull the codeine up out of whatever hole it was hiding inâbut he didn't have the heart for it. He was Edison Banks. He'd had his own band. He'd created
Savage Street.
He didn't eat lunch at one-thirty in the afternoon, and he didn't eat lunch alone, eitherâor drink anything, even wine, before five o'clock. That was what the rest of them did, all his hopeless washed-out diamond-encrusted neighbors: they ate lunch. And then they had a couple of cocktails and bought flowers from the flower girl in the short skirt before picking up their prescriptions at the drugstore, and by then it was cocktail hour and they drank cocktails and ate dinner. Or ordered it, anyway.
He burned up the tires for the next half hour, taking the turns like a suicideâor a teenager, a thatch-headed, flat-stomached, stick-throwing teenagerâand then the engine started to overheat and he switched off the radio and crawled back home like one of the living dead in their ancient Jags and Benzes. A nap, that was what he was thinking, elevate the knee, wrap the frozen peas round it, and doze over a book by the poolâwhere at least it was
private. He winced when he climbed out of the car and put some weight on his right leg, but the peas and another codeine tab would take care of that, and he came up the back walk feeling nothing. He was digging for his keys, the sun pushing down like a weight on his shoulders while a pair of hummingbirds stitched the air with iridescent feints and dodges and the palms along the walk nodded in the faintest stirrings of a breeze, when he saw that the back door was open
And that was odd, because he was sure he'd shut and locked it when he left. Kim might have been clueless about security, leaving her handbag on the front seat of the car where anybody could see it, running out of the house with her makeup half on and never thinking twice about the door gaping behind her, but he was a rock. He never forgot anything, even when his brain was fuzzed with the little white pills the doctor kept feeding him. He wouldn't have left the door open. He couldn't have. His next thought was for the maidâshe must not have left yet. But then he glanced over his shoulder, down the slope and past the fence to the spot out on the public road where she always parked her dirt-brown Corolla. It wasn't there.
He shut the door behind him, thinking he'd have to talk to her about that, about walking off and leaving the place wide openâthere was no excuse for it, even if she was distraught about the fate of the elephants or her sister's latest lumpectomy. In the kitchen, he fought the childproof cap of the prescription bottle and chased down a pill with a glass of cranberry juice. He'd just pulled open the freezer to reach for the peas when a sound from above made him catch his breath. It was a furtive sound, the soft friction of wood on woodâas of a dresser drawer, antique oak, slightly balky, sliding open. He didn't breathe again until he heard the faint squeal of the drawer going back in, and the answering echo of the next one falling open.
Edison kept three guns in the house, identical Smith & Wesson 9mm stainless steel pistols, two of which had never been fired, and he went now for the one he kept in a cubicle in the pantry, behind the old telephone books. He held it in his hand a long while,
listening, then made sure it was loaded, flicked off the safety, and started up the stairs. It was very quiet. Shadows collided on the walls above him, and the air was thick with motes of dust and the lazy circling attentions of the flies at the upstairs window. He was in his own house, among familiar things, but everything seemed distorted and unfamiliar, because he'd never before gone up these stairs with a gun in his handâand yet he didn't feel nervous or tense, or not particularly. He felt like a hunter in an air-conditioned forest.
When he crept into the bedroomâthe master bedroom, the place where he'd slept alone in the big antique bed for the past three weeksâthere was a man there, his back to the door, his arms and shoulders busy with the work at hand. A phrase came into Edison's head:
rifling the drawers.
And then another one, one he'd heard on TV a thousand timesâused himself in too many episodes of
Savage Street
to count:
Freeze.
And that's what he said now, in a kind of bark, and he couldn't help appending an epithet to it, for maximum effect. “Freeze, motherfucker,” that's what he said. “Freeze, motherfucker!”
That was when Lyle, dressed in the same pale European-cut suit he'd been wearing the night before, turned around, his hands at his sides. “Hey, man,” he said, all the sunshine in the world distilled in his voice, no worries, no problems, and how do you spell California? “I just stopped by to see you, take you up on your invitation, you know? Cool house. I really dig your antiquesâyou the collector, or is it your wife?”
Edison had a gun in his hand. A gun he'd fired just once, at the indoor firing range, twelve bucks an hour, no target big enough for him to nailâor maybe it wasn't this gun at all. Maybe it was the one under the sink in the master bath or the one behind the drapes in the front hall. The gun was cold. It was heavy. He didn't know what to do with it now that he was holding it there in his hand like some party favor.
“Hey, come on, man, put that thing away, all right? You're scaring me.” Lyle was wearing two-tone shoes and a hand-painted tie, very cool. He swept the hair back from his brow with a hand
that betrayed himâa hand that was shaking. “I mean I knocked and all, but nobody answered, right? So I came in to wait for you, so we could maybe spin some sidesâisn't that what you say, âspin some sides'?”
It came to him then that Lyle was exactly like the kid on the beach, the kid grown up, all mockery and hate, all attitude. “You're the guy,” Edison said. “You're the guy, aren't you?”
And there it was, the curled lip, the dead blue vacancy of the eyes. “What guy? I don't know what you're talking about, manâI mean, I come over, at
your
invitation, to, toâ”
“The jewelry thief. âThe discerning burglar.' You're him, aren't you?” The knowledge went right through him, hot knowledge, knowledge like the burning needle his mother would use to probe his flesh when he came in screaming with a splinter embedded in his finger. “Let me see your pockets. Pull out your pockets.”
“Spin some sides,” Lyle said, but the phrase was bitter now, nasal and venomous. “Isn't that what you hepcats say, you hipsters and thin white dukes? Too cool, right?” And he pulled a necklace out of his pocket, one of the things Kim, in her haste, had left behind. He held it out for a moment, a gentle silken dangle of thin hammered gold with a cluster of jewels, and let it drop to the carpet. “Let me tell you something,
Edison
âyour show sucked. Even back then it was a jokeâme and my buds'd get stoned and laugh at it, you know that? And your bandâyour pathetic bandâwas even worse.”
Outside, beyond Lyle, beyond the blinds and the curtains, the sun was spread over everything like the richest cream, and the window that framed it all was like nothing so much as an outsized TV screen. Edison felt something in him die, droop down and die like some wilted plant, and he wondered if it was the codeine or what it was. It came almost as a surprise to him to glance down and see that he was still holding on to the gun.
Lyle leaned back against the dresser and fumbled in his pocket for a cigarette, stuck it between his lips, and lit it with a quick flick of his lighter. “So what are you going to do, shoot me?” he said. “Because it's my word against yours. I mean, where's your witness?
Where's the stolen property? You invited me over, right? âAnytime, man,' isn't that what you said? And here I am, an honored guest, and maybe we had an argument and you got a little crazyâold guys are like that, aren't they? Don't they go a little crazy every once in a while?” He exhaled a blue veil of smoke. “Or shit, I mean I was just up here checking out my listings, I thought this was going to be an open house, and I wander in, innocent, totally innocent, and suddenly there's this guy with a gun ⦠and who is it? It's you.”
“That's right,” Edison said, “it's me. Edison Banks. And who the fuck are you? What did you ever write? How many albums did you record? Huh?”
Lyle put the cigarette to his lips, and Edison watched the coal go red with the rush of oxygen. He had nothing to say, but his lookâit was the look of the kid on the beach all over again. Exactly. Exactly that. But this time there would be no footrace, because Edison had already caught up.
My widow likes cats. No one knows exactly how many cats inhabit the big solid old redwood house I left her, but after several generations of inbreeding and depositing fecal matter in select corners and in an ever-growing mound on the mantelpiece, their numbers must reach into the thirties, perhaps even the forties. There are cats draped like bunting over every horizontal surface in the house, and when they mew in concert for their cat chow and their tins of mashed fish heads, the noise is enough to wake the dead, if you'll pardon the expression. She sleeps with these cats, my widow does, or at least as many of them as the antique bed, with its questionable sheets and cat-greased quilt, can accommodate, and all night and into the burgeoning sun-dappled hours of the early morning, there is a ceaseless movement of limb and tongue and the lazy twitching of feline tails. In addition to the cats, my widow once had a pair of vocal and energetic little dogs, of a breed whose name I could never remember, but both have long since run off or been crushed to marrow out on the busy street that winds up from the village and past the rear gate of the house. She had a ferret too, for a while, though ferrets are illegal in the state of California. It didn't last long. After throttling and partially dismembering a litter of week-old kittens, the animal secreted itself in the crawl space under the house, where it took sick and died. Even now, its mummified corpse subsides gradually into the immemorial dust
beneath the floorboards of the kitchen, just under the place where the refrigerator rests, going quietly about its work.
One afternoon, a day or two after the first rain of the winter has converted the dry creek bed out back into a sluice of braided, sepia-colored ripples and long, trailing ropes of eucalyptus bark, my widow is startled by a persistent thumping from the far end of the house. She is, as always, in the kitchen, peering into a steaming pot of chicken-vegetable soup, the only thing she ingests these days, aside from the odd slab of indifferently grilled flank steak and coffee so acidic it's taken the glaze off the ceramic cup our son made her when he was in the sixth grade. The doorbell, which in my day chimed a carillon from Beethoven's “Ode to Joy,” is long since defunct, and so my widow takes a while to register the notion that someone is knocking at the front door. The front door, is, after all, a good sixty paces from the kitchen, out the kitchen door and down the long L-shaped hall that leads to the entryway and the grand room beyond it, now a refuge for cats. Still, that is unmistakably the sound of knocking, and you can see the alertness come into her eyesâit could be the postman, she's thinking, who just the other day (or was it the other week?) brought her a letter from our son, who lives and works in Calcutta, dispensing cornmeal mush and clean bandages to the mendicants there. “I'm coming!” my widow calls in her creaking, octave-challenged voice, and she sets down the stirring spoon amidst the debris of what once was the kitchen counter, wipes her hands on her flannel nightgown, and moves slowly but resolutely down the hall to answer the door.