Aftershocks (17 page)

I had to remember he had a girlfriend.

I had vast dreams that he would one day wake up and see that his girlfriend sucked, and I was a much better option, but I knew that wouldn’t happen that night. His relationship with Alexis – as dysfunctional as it might have seemed from the outside looking in – was seemingly going strong.

But he’d also just told me I looked great as he checked me out. I’d go with that.

“Thanks!” I said, feeling a little lighter on my feet as I refocused my mindset, grabbed by jacket and stepped outside, closing the door behind me. I was fine. The party would be fine. Everything would be fine.

“You ready to go?” he asked.

“Sure, let’s get this over with,” I said knowing I sounded overly dramatic, but I was playing up my position as scorned partygoer.

He put his hands on my shoulders but stood at arm’s length. “It’s a party, Abby. It’l be fun.

Yeah, sure, right. Okay.

“I know. You’re right. Let’s go. Rock on, party, whoo-hoo and al that. You don’t want to be late for your own party,” I said, faking enthusiasm.

“It’s my party. I can do whatever I want,” he said, as his eyes locked on mine and his arms dropped to loop around my waist, puling me close to him. His voice was ful of mischief, and I wondered if he was thinking the same naughty thoughts that I was.

Yeah, he probably wasn’t.

“Yes, but you also have a girlfriend who wil be very upset if anything keeps you from her,” I reminded him, hating to do it, but feeling obligated nonetheless. It seemed he needed another reminder of his relationship status.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Connor said, and he released me. “Alright, let’s go.” He sighed, as he slung his arm around my shoulder in a friendly way and turned to walk toward my car.

I felt like there was something behind that sigh, but for some reason I was afraid to ask. As we got closer to my car, I noticed a smal duffel bag by the passenger side of my car. Connor dropped his arm from my shoulder and picked it up before he opened the door to get in.

“What’s that?” I asked, as I hopped into the driver’s seat.

He tossed the bag onto the back seat. “My overnight bag.”

Oh, yeah, right. That made sense since Alexis’s parents were out of town. I had just assumed that I would drive Connor home later, but I realized that was a stupid assumption. Obviously, he would want to spend his birthday at his girlfriend’s house. I was an idiot.

“What are we listening to?” he asked, reaching for my iPod as he met my glance.

I smiled, trying to not let my emotions get to me. “A newly created party mix – just for tonight,” I said, as I backed out of the driveway, keeping my eyes focused on the road.

I kicked it off with as song by The White Rabbits that had a good beat. My party mix definitely had an alt. rock vibe to it rather than the pop and hip-hop we’d be hearing later. I had to get my fix before I turned my ears over to the Top 40 crap Alexis would be playing.

“You made me a mix,” Connor said, slightly in awe.

I smiled. He was in awe because of me.

After a few minutes, we were both singing along to the lyrics and laughing at how bad we sounded if the volume wasn’t al the way up.

By the time we puled up in front of Alexis’ house, I was having so much fun I’d completely left my melancholy thoughts behind me. I’d also partialy forgotten where we were going, but it al came flooding back the minute I turned off the car and could hear the bass pulsing from inside the house. It had been a long time since I’d been at Alexis’s house. I took a deep breath before I got out of the car. Connor was already standing outside waiting for me.

“You don’t want to grab your bag?” I asked.

“Nah, I’l get it later,” he said. “Just don’t leave without teling me, okay.”

“I won’t,” I promised.

He started to walk toward the house but stopped when he realized I wasn’t next to him. He turned around and gave me a skeptical look.

“Are you coming, or are you just going to enjoy the party from out here?”

Enjoy. That sure was an interesting word. Would I enjoy myself? I had a feeling the last thing I would enjoy would be walking into the party with Connor.

“No, I’m coming,” I said and walked slowly toward him.

“Come on,” he said, as he put his arm around my waist and puled me in to a half-hug. “If you don’t like it, you can leave.” He left his arm around my waist as we walked toward the front door.

“Okay,” I said quietly.

“It just means a lot to me that you came, so thanks.” He looked over at me, his light eyes staring intensely. I returned his gaze. His face was so close to mine. What would he do if I leaned up and kissed him? Instead he beat me to the chase, leaning down and pressing his lips to my temple. “You’re the best, Abbs.”

“I’m glad I could be here to celebrate your biggest birthday to date,” I said, pushing my impure thoughts away. “You’re officialy an adult. You might want to think twice about hanging out with a kid like me.” I grinned at him.

He roled his eyes. “I’d hang out with you any day. Even though I am obviously much more mature and worldly now that I’ve been eighteen for a ful day.”

“Oh, obviously,” I said echoing his sarcasm.

He laughed.

Once we were inside the house, he let go of my waist and scanned the room. We were standing in the grand foyer of Alexis’ house.

The huge living room extended out in front of us, so we had a good view of everything that was going on. It was relatively early, but the party was already in ful swing.

Kelen meandered past us, but stopped when he realized who we were. “What’s up guys?” he said with a little too much exuberance for the early hour.

It seemed Kelen had already been enjoying a bit of the sauce. As if to prove my point, he downed the last of the beer that was in his hand, burped loudly, tossed his empty into a nearby garbage can and said, “Beer me!” to no one in particular.

He walked past us to the kitchen to retrieve another beer for himself and came back with one for each of us. Connor took his, but I waved my hand to let Kelen know I was al set. I wanted to be sure I was staying at the party for longer than thirty minutes before I had a drink.

“Okay, more for me.” He opened the beers he was holding and took a sip of both at the same time. “Ahh, good to the last drop,” he said with a smile. I had to laugh at him.

Connor opened his beer and took a pul from the can. “Let’s go find Lex and tel her we’re here,” he said to me, bumping his shoulder against mine.

“Okay,” I said, thinking that was a bad idea. I shot a text to Luke to see if he had left work yet, but he hadn’t. He said he’d be there in an hour. Let the countdown begin.

“Lexi’s in her room,” Kelen said then. He was the only one who caled her that. It had been the name she’d used in early elementary school when they had first become friends. Kelen stil insisted on caling her Lexi and was the only one who could get away with it.

“What’s she stil doing in there?” I asked. If there was a party going on, Alexis wouldn’t be shut away in her room. She’d want to be at the center of everything.

“Don’t know,” he said shrugging. “She said she’d be down soon.”

“Thanks man,” Connor said, moving toward the stairs.

In an out-of-the-blue moment of graciousness, I stopped him. “I’l go check it out,” I said, suddenly protective of him. If there was a party going on, and Alexis was in her room, it mostly likely meant that she had brought a party in there, and if she was cheating on Connor, I didn’t want him to see it.

“Okay, I’l just wait down here,” Connor said, visibly surprised that I was offering to help out Alexis, but he didn’t question it.

The door to Alexis’s room was closed when I reached it, so listened for a few seconds. I heard whispering but it al sounded like female voices, so unless she was having a lesbian moment – not something she hadn’t done before when she was drunk – it was probably safe.

I knocked, then opened the door slowly and took in the scene. Sophia was sitting on the floor with her head leaning back against the wal, her eyes were closed and she had a lazy smile on her lips. Faith was sitting on the windowsil alternating blowing smoke from her cigarette into the cold night air and drinking from a bottle of champagne – classy. Alexis had her back to the door and was perched on the bed animatedly talking to Faith. When she heard me open the door, she turned around, jumped off the bed and eyed me in question. Then her face lit up.

“Abby!” she shrieked, as she ran over to me and almost knocked me down as she wrapped her arms around me and sort of hung there for a few seconds. I wondered how drunk one had to be to forget that you weren’t friends with someone anymore.

She puled back and looked at me.

“I’m so glad you came!” she gushed. She was holding a bottle of champagne that looked almost-empty, so I had my answer. She was realy drunk. “You look so pretty.” She stroked my hair. “I just love your hair. It’s so soft.”

Yeah, she was wasted.

“Um, thanks,” I said, as I disentangled myself from her grasp. I did not want her that close to me.

Alexis’s eyes got wide and then crinkled with happiness as she smiled and half said, half sang, “I’m doing realy good.” She burst into a fit of giggles. “We’ve just been having some champagne. Not a lot, just a little.” She held her finger and thumb an inch apart to indicate a smal amount. “Ooh, you should have some, too!” She handed me the bottle.

I handed it back to her and said, in a tone meant for a child, “No, Lex, that’s yours. I’l get my own later.”

“I don’t mind sharing,” she said. “You’re my friend.”

Yeah, I’m really not.

“Do you know what today is?” Alexis asked me, an equaly childish tone to her voice.

“What’s today?” I asked, trying to humor her, and wondering if she truly remembered what day it was.

“It’s my boyfriend’s birthday!” she said, as if it were a surprise.

No, that was yesterday. Today is the anniversary of the day your ex-boyfriend tried killed himself, but you’re too self-centered
to remember that, or the role you played in it, you selfish bitch.

“Yeah, I know it’s his birthday,” I said to her, knowing it was better to just let the Wyatt stuff go. She wasn’t in any position to talk about something as serious as attempted suicide.

She looked at me confused for a second, and then recognition dawned on her face. “Oh, that’s right, I forgot that you know him. You guys are friends,” she said, a ful pout appearing on her heart-shaped mouth. “I don’t realy like that you’re his friend.”

“Okay,” I said for lack of anything more insightful.

How was I supposed to respond to that?
Oh, okay then, well I won’t be friends with him anymore because you don’t like it. Yeah
right.

“He thinks you’re pretty,” Alexis said then, and I wondered how she knew that. “You better not steal him.”

Ah, there we were, back to familiar territory.

“Okay, I won’t,” I said, in an attempt to pacify her. Why I was stil standing there talking to her, I had no idea.

“I realy don’t want you to steal him, because he is so nice and smart and funny . . . and I love him.” She sighed. “I love him, Abby.

Please don’t steal him from me.”

She was whining and seemed to be on the verge of tears. I realized in that moment that she was scared, and I realized she was threatened by me. Why, I had no idea, but she was.

“Hey Lex?” I asked, thinking a change of subject would be best. We were sliding into dangerous territory and she wasn’t in a mindset to go there. “Why don’t you sit here for a minute, and I’l go find Connor, okay?”

“Connor’s here?!” she asked in a combination of surprise and glee, her mood switching immediately.

“Yeah, he’s downstairs, and he’s realy excited to see you.”

“Ooh, go get him,” she said, smiling lazily at me.

Yeah, Connor was so not going to love her in this state.

I turned to Faith. Her eyelids were droopy. She probably wasn’t much soberer than Alexis. “Faith, can you keep an eye on her while I find Connor?”

“Sure, Abby, no prob,” she said, as she lifted her champagne bottle, as if to toast me.

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t the best babysitter, but she was better than Sophia who was passed out against the wal, snoring lightly. If only Luke could’ve seen her.

“I’l be right back,” I said, as I hurried out of the room and closed the door behind me.

I started down the stairs only to be stopped halfway by Jack West, quarterback extraordinaire.

“Hey good girl,” he said, shooting me a wicked grin, the dimple on the right side of his cheek popping. He ran a hand through his blond hair, pushing it out of his brown eyes. It promptly fel back over his forehead.

I wondered if he remembered what day it was and where we’d been a year ago. He’d seemed much more vulnerable then, al of his confidence replaced by terror when he realized for the first time that being charming wouldn’t fix the problem he was facing.

“Hey Jack,” I said, smiling at him. “Tough day?”

He let down his guard as he nodded. “I was kind of hoping you’d be here tonight,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t believe it’s been a year. Do you remember how scared we were?”

I nodded. “Of course I remember, Jack. It was pretty much the worst night of my life.”

“Mine too,” he said, as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I talked to Wy earlier tonight.”

I’d talked to him that morning. He’d caled to thank me. Neither of us liked to think that if I hadn’t gotten to him when I had, he wouldn’t be alive, but every now and then he would break down and tel me how much he owed me. I couldn’t help thinking the same thing. I was so grateful that he’d caled me that night, even if had been to say goodbye. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost him.

I knew he didn’t realy want to die, but he was so scared in that moment that he thought he didn’t have another way out. I know he got freaked out when he thought about everything that had pushed him to the limit that night, but he didn’t talk much about it anymore. I wished I could be with him instead of at a party. I wanted to give him a hug and tel him I loved him, but I couldn’t. I had to settle for a phone cal.