Afterthoughts: A Charity McAdams Novella (The Charity McAdams Novellas) (9 page)

“Well that’s a little better.” He stops wiping at my
face but he doesn’t back up. I
finally
meet
his
gaze
and I can’t bri
ng myself to break eye contact.

“
Ya
know,
I don’t remember you being such a catastrophe,” he teases.

“Well things change, I guess,” I say.

Something shifts in his eyes, it’s subtle but I see a flash of pain.

“Yeah, guess so,” he says,
before taking a step back
.

There is a moment of chilly silence before he speaks again, “Is she yours?” He nods at Maci, who miraculousl
y, is still sitting by my feet.

“No, she’s Ashley’s. I was just taking her out because Ashley is stuck in the city.”

“
Ahh
,” he nods again. Maci wags her tail as if she knows we are talking about her. “Do you have any pets?
A dog?
”

We had always talked about getting a dog together, once we were married. Brandon had wanted a Boxer and I wanted a German
Shepherd
. I never stopped wan
ting a dog but just never did. I’m not really sure why
.

“What are you really doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your family?
Since that’s supposedly the reason you’
re in town after all this time?
” I ask, changing the subject, unwillin
g to answer personal questions.

“I just needed some air, a litt
le time to think,” he explains.

I see the
flash in
his eyes again and know there’
s something he isn’t telling me. I know I shouldn’t care, shouldn’t be curious, but I somehow can’t help
it.

“Is everything ok?”
I ask, starting to r
egret my harsh tone and sarcasm from before.

He drops his gaze to the ground in between us and shakes his head. When he looks back up again there are tears forming in his eyes.
“No, not really.”

For a moment I feel like I am out of my body and have no control of my actions.
Impulsively,
I step forward and gently take his face in my hands. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s my mom, she—
she has cancer,
”
h
is voice breaks and a tear starts to slide down his cheek.

I gasp softly and take the final step to close the gap between us and wrap my arms tightly around him.
The coat falls from my shoulders as he
wrap
s his arms around me. He
holds me so tightly
that
I feel like I can’t breathe
,
but I don’t even care.
He starts to shake as his sobs become louder. My own tears fall onto his shirt as I
press my cheek into his chest.

I don’t know how long we stay
ed like that.

When we finally parted I ta
k
e
his hand and le
ad him to the nearby
bench. We sit facing each other and I take both of his hands in mine as he starts to explain everything to me.

“I guess she was given the diagnosis a couple of months ago but they didn’t want to tell me because I was still on set for my last project.
They thought it would distract me from my work or that I would back out of the film. So, t
hat’s why they wanted me to come home immediately after it finished. She is goi
ng to have a double mastectomy to try and get rid of it and hopefully eliminate the chance of it coming back again.”

I nod along as he explains, not really sure what to say. I have never known anyone with cancer. My grandparents are still around and, while aging, they are fairly healthy. It’s hard to imagine the prospect of losing them, let alone one of my parents.

“So, everyone is at my parents’ house to help out and
be there for support. I really appreciate that they are all there but it was feeling a little claustrophobic. I just needed to get out for a while.”

“When is the surgery?” I ask after a pause.

“Next week.”

“Wow. I’m so sorry that this
is
happ
ening
. You know how much I love your family.
” I pause, trying to push away all the memories that are threatening to swallow me whole.
“
Your mom is strong though, if anyone can make it through this, you know that she can,” I offer with a slight smile and a squeeze of his hands.

“Yeah, I know. She will,”
he agrees, returning my sad smile. “She has to.”

A long silence stretches out, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Brandon is staring off into space, his eyes are dry now but red and he looks tired. I imagine he didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night either and then had to deal with an emotional bomb on top of that. His hand is warm and comforting and I don’t want to let go.

I realize that
lost
in the moment
,
I had dropped
Maci’s
leash but when I look back toward the pond I can see her laying at the edge of the water. The ducks seem to have gone back to their nests for the night. The sky is overcast and rapidly getting dark. I have no idea what time Ashley is supposed to get back but I know I need to get Maci back home and try to wash her off a little so that Ashley doesn’
t have to deal with a dirty dog when she has a big jewelry project already looming over her.

As if reading my thoughts,
Brandon
stands, and pulls me up from the bench. “
I guess you
probably
need to
get the little
troublemaker home.”

He snaps in
Maci’s
direction and she leaps up to run to his side. He pets her head and scratches at her ears.

I smile at the way M
aci is relishing the attention.

“Yeah, probably should clean her up
a little too, or Ash will kill me,” I agree, reluctantly. “What about you? Are you going to go back to your parents?”

He shakes his head. “No, they’re
going over to
my aunt and uncles house for the rest
of the night. They have
some game night thing
they do
. My brothers are with them too. They invited me to go too but I said I’d wait and come back over tomorrow. It just feels weird how they can go on like nothing is happening.”

“Well, they’ve had more time to adjust to the news. I imagine, in some way, it helps to continue to
live a normal life,” I suggest.

Brandon nods.
“Yeah.
So, I don’t know. I guess I’ll get some dinner and go back to my room
at the inn
.
Maybe catch up on the news.
Is Little Ricky’s still open?
”
He asks, referring to a hole in the wall
Italian place
that
we used to go to in the next town over.

The image of him sitting alone
in a hotel room
,
with a plastic container of cold spaghetti
,
watching the nightly news
is more than I can handle.
“You can’t go to Little Ricky’s, come over to my place. I’ll make us something.”

The invitation seems to surprise him just as much as it surprises me.

“
Really?
That sounds perfect,” he says
,
with a genuine smile that both warms, and breaks, my heart.

I try to keep calm as we walk to Ashley’s house. Brandon has the leash and Maci is trotting along after him, quite contentedly. I smile at her, wishing I felt as relaxed as she looks. I probably look like I’m fine but everything inside me feels like a wound up jack in the box
that could spring at any time.

An awkward silence has settled between us as we walk.
I figure he doesn’t want to talk about his mom and I don’t want to talk about us.

“So, uh, do you like living in California?” Must seem pretty gloomy being back here with the cold and all,” I ask.

“It’s ok. I think some things are better than I expected and then other things are worse than expected. It’s nice to be back here though, I’ve missed it, for a lot of different reasons,” he answers, he turns his face to meet my gaze and there is no mistaking
what he meant by that comment.

I can feel myself start to blush. Unsure of how to respond, I turn my eyes back to watc
hing the ground in front of me.

We walk in silence for another few minutes before we arrive at Ashley’s house. Her car is not in the driveway, which means she is still out or on her way back. I br
eathe a sigh of relief that she’s
not here to fin
d Brandon and me together. She’
s my best friend and I know that she supports me, no matter what, but I also know she has very strong opinions in regards to Brandon and she doe
sn’t want me to get hurt again.

Not that I am doing anything that will lead to me being hurt again.
It’s just dinner
, I remind myself silently.

“Alright, let me take her in and get her cleaned up a little and then we
can
go to my place,” I direct, reaching for the leash.
“It’s not too far from here.”

Brandon gives me the leash, brushing my fingertips in the process, sending another little pack of butter
flies to fly around my stomach.

“I guess I’ll stay here,” he says, taking
a seat on the front steps.

I realize that he is p
robably only inches away from where I sat when I was on the phone with Jam
es only a couple of hours ago
.
I push away the
thought and turn to go inside. I shut the front door behind me and lean back against it, letting out a pent up sigh. “Get it together, McAdams,” I whisper to myself.

I give myself a little shake and roll my shoulders back before starting to wipe at Maci with the doggy towel Ashley leaves by the front door. Most of the mu
d is dried on her fur so there’
s not a lot I can get off with the dry towel. With another sigh I decide I’ll need to give her a bath if I want to get her completely cleaned up. I glace at my watch and then nervously look back to the front door. In all reality, Ashley could be home at any minute and I can only imagine her reaction if she finds Brandon on h
er front steps.

I really would hate to call the cops on my best friend.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and call Ashley. She answers on the third ring.

“Hey Charity, what’s up?”

“Hey, I just got back from the park with Maci, we had a little mishap and she needs a bath. I just - uh - wanted to see where you keep the doggy shampoo?” I improvise.

“Tell me it isn’t skunk! I
cannot
deal with that again!” She pleads.

“No, no, nothing quite that heinous,” I assure her, wrinkling my nose as I remember the skunk fiasco from a couple years ago.
“Just a little muddy.”

“
Thank God! That shampoo
should be in the cupboard
under the sink in the bathroom. D
id you
already
look there?” Ashley says.

“No, not yet
, we just got back,” I explain.

“Ok, well it should be there, if not, try the laundry room.”

“So, are you still in the city?” I prompt.

“No,
I’m still on the way.” S
he sighs. “Traffic was a little crazy but I’m on
the highway now, should be back
i
n the next twenty minutes or so. I
f you want to wait I can help you with Maci, she can be a bit of a pain when it comes to bath time.”

“Oh, no!”
I exclaim, a little too loudly. “No, I don’t need help. I’ll have her all done before you get back. In fact, you should stop and get a coffee on your way, you’ve had a long day and it sounds like you’ll have a long night ahead of you.” I fumble as I start to pull at
Maci’s
collar to drag her upstairs to the bathroom and end up dropping my phone. There is a loud bang as it hits the floor and I swear before grabbing it back up to my ear again.

“Charity, are you ok? What’s going on?” Ashley asks, sounding alarmed.

“I’m fine,” I insist.
“Just dropped the phone.”

The front door opens behind me and Maci starts barking and rips out of my grip. The nylon collar burns my hand as it pulls through and I swear again.

“Ash, I
gotta
go, I’ll see
ya
later!” I yell before shutting off the phone and stuffing it back in my pocket.