"Fred?" asked Phil, trying to grasp this bit of information that Alexa had shared. Not only was it too early in the morning to deal with such things, it was hardly believable.
"That's what CC told me last night, and I was just as incredulous as you! This makes no sense! Fred couldn't kill anyone. He's squeamish about stepping on a bug. How in the world is he supposed to hang someone, and then tie the dead body to the axle of his boat trailer and drive the thing off into an overflowing creek?" Alexa was pacing quickly back and forth in Phil's living room, dramatically emphasizing her point by waving her arms and acting out each main verb in her sentence. She actually snarled and looked like Cruella DeVil when she said the word drive. It was impossible for her to speak without using her hands, and in this case, her arms, head, and feet.
Phil began to wonder if she needed a Xanax.
Nah, she'll calm down in a second. Hurricane Alexa always blows through town quickly. When she runs out of steam, I'll tell her my good news.
True enough… Alexa usually overreacted to really bad news. It was either complete and total shock-like silence, or she blew up and just as quickly calmed down after she had vented for a while. She acted somewhat like the early-model locomotives from the 1800s – she put off a lot of steam but didn't go very far.
Alexa ranted around a few minutes more, but suddenly stopped when she noticed that Phil was apparently lost in his own world.
"Hey! Why aren't you commenting? You're supposed to be as upset as I am."
"Sorry, I was thinking about something else. And, I am upset about Fred. I agree. It's ridiculous to believe that he could have committed this crime. But…"
"What?" Alexa asked, sensing his mood.
"Well, I have some good news, but I wasn't sure whether right now would be the best time to mention it."
"What? What's happening? What's going on that you haven't told me?" Alexa, now curious, and finally calm about the Fred thing, plopped down on the couch one leg tucked under her, and faced Phil at the other end.
"Well, after you and I hung up last night, Lisa called. She's FINALLY coming up here. We sold our house, and she hired the movers and everything. We have to go down for the closing in a few weeks, but she's driving up today and should be here around six or seven tonight. I can hardly wait! I've missed her so much!" Phil was clearly excited and pleased that everything had worked out so well about moving to Neosho.
"Aw, I'm so happy for you guys. I know it's been hard being so far from each other. Now, we have to get Lisa a job lined up and you'll be all set. Hey, tell her to come by the hospital, I know they're hiring. Maybe she can find something there that will interest her."
Phil looked happy, pleased, grateful, excited, and anxious all at the same time. Alexa could tell that he had missed his wife Lisa, mainly because he had been moping around since he had last returned from Texas. It had been a sacrifice for them to be apart for so long, but Alexa had a feeling that Phil's bouts of sighing loudly whenever he saw something that reminded him of Lisa were about to be over.
Just then, Alexa's phone rang,
Got to change my ring tone to something generic – AGAIN! Having kung fu sounds blast out in public is embarrassing. I'm gonna have to do something evil to Tara to pay her back for changing my tone.
Tara regularly did that just to see Alexa's face when elderly church members turned around to stare at her during service while the young people laughed outright. Alexa looked apologetically at Phil.
"Hello, this is Alexa."
"Hey, mom. How do you like the new ring tone I downloaded onto your phone?" Tara had just sealed her fate – Alexa would definitely be finding a torture befitting such a one, to be meted out in due time.
"Hello, sweetie!" Alexa said with a sugary voice.
That kid's gonna get it this time,
thought Phil.
"Did anyone stare at you when your phone rang?"
"Just Phil. He's actually laughing right now. If he weren't my friend, I would reach over and smack him. Actually babe, hang on a sec," here she reached out to slap Phil on the foot, but he dodged and jumped off the couch. Once up, he decided it was snack time and headed off to the kitchen. She yelled after him, "I'll get you later, King Phil the poo poo head!"
Then sweetly adding, "And Tara, Thank you so much for that wonderful surprise, darling pie." She knew that Tara counted this nickname as one of her most hated. Alexa thought,
MUHAHAHA!
"Mom!! I told you not to say that in public!!" Alexa loved this reaction – it meant that she had hit the target with the nickname.
"You can't out embarrass me Tara. I am the champ of this game. You will never usurp me!! MUHAHAHA!!" Alexa laughed into the phone and then thought,
daughters are so evil!
Tara just rolled her eyes and sighed,
moms are so weird!
"Mom, I almost forgot why I called. A package arrived for you today. I thought it was left by a delivery service, but it has no postage or return address. It just says your name. And, the weird thing about it is that there is a big red heart drawn on it."
A heart? Weird
, Alexa thought. She didn't think it was anything dangerous, but she couldn't figure out who might have sent it. "I'll look at it when I get home, honey. Just put it in my bedroom, and to be on the safe side, don't open it. Ok?"
"Ok, Mom. See you later. I'm going to the mall with friends. Be home about eleven or so."
"Ok, bye sweetie. Be safe. Be sure to keep your cell phone on. You don't want to me to call one of your friends if I need to get in touch with you." Alexa only said this because she knew how mortified Tara would be if it really happened.
Oh well,
she thought,
at least it works. She keeps the phone on.
In the background, Alexa heard a car honking. "K, gotta go mom. My friends are here, and don't worry, I'm always careful – you know that."
Tara hung up with a sigh. As she jumped in the car with her friends and listened to all the chatter around her, she thought back.
Her mom had been pretty paranoid for a while after some guy tried to kidnap her from a mall in Texas. Tara had been five years old at the time, so she didn't really remember much about it, except some guy picking her up and then the running. One thing she would never forget was the way her mom had chased after that guy, screaming bloody murder with tears streaming down her face.
And of course, the tackling… Her mom had jumped over one of those brass plant stands and dived straight at the guy's back. Tara had sustained a few scrapes when he had dropped her, but the guy didn't fare so well. Sitting atop the guy's back, Alexa had begun beating his head with her fists, and then took to pounding his face onto the mall floor. The cops had to drag her off him, all the while she was screaming threats at him in Spanish. He was a little more than shaken.
Only after they had moved to Neosho did her mom lighten up some. Tara thought,
I guess she had her reasons in the past. And, she has loosened the reins a lot since then. She just worries too much.
She's pretty strong though. I won't ever have to wonder about who beats up any guy who does me wrong – it will be my mom.
Tara laughed to herself.
There she is,
he thought.
She's been over at Phil's house again. She spends more time with him than she does with her daughter. Maybe I should buddy up to Phil to get closer access to her.
Ah yes, she's in the house now; I can move in closer. She should be opening my package pretty soon. I wonder if she'll like her present.
I wonder what the mystery person left for me. Let's open this box up and see.
Alexa opened the box carefully, not wanting to disturb the contents too much, but not overly concerned that it was something dangerous.
"Cookies!!!" she yelled while doing a victory dance in the middle of her bedroom floor. She examined them closer, "Not just any cookies; chocolate chip cookies with walnuts!! My FAVORITE!! Woo Hoo!!"
Must eat them. They are calling my name. Hmm, no card, no note, no name, nothing. Wonder if I should really eat these or let CC check them out at the crime lab.
"Better safe than sorry, or worse." Alexa pulled out her phone and called up CC.
"Hey, where are you? Are you working tonight?"
"Just getting off. What's up? Is something the matter? Did you remember something about the murder scene? Any new clues?"
"Woah, woah, woah there podnuh! I need you to stop with the questions – actually the bazillion questions and come over here. I received a mysterious package today. No delivery service, no post mark, no return address – I'm a little concerned that it might be poisoned."
"You mean you opened it already?? Why didn't you call me before hand, you could have released some toxin into the air. Don't touch anything else. I'll be right over."
"CC, don't… Hello? Hello, are you there?" Alexa tried his number again, but got nothing.
Men! They overreact to everything.
Women! They have NO sense!
CC thought as he rushed out to his truck and sped out of the police station parking lot.
If anything happens to her, I'll kill the person who did it.
Why is she not eating the cookies? If she doesn't eat the cookies, it will ruin everything! Then I'll have to think up another plan to get to her.
What is that noise?
He went over to the corner of the house and peered around. Just then, CC whipped into the driveway and ran into the house like a crazy man.
What is HE doing here?? This is horrible!! My plan is crumbling! I better get out of here, he looks mad.
"Where is the box??" CC yelled as he burst through the front door. Good thing Alexa had gotten there first or he would have broken it down.
He's NUTS!!
"It's over there on the kitchen table. I brought the box in here after you hung up on me. What's wro…" CC held up his hand for silence.
He walked over to the box and carefully examined it without touching it. He picked up a wooden spoon from the stove and examined it even more carefully before saying, "The box looks harmless enough. Maybe the cookies are the threat." He picked one up.
"Smells like almonds," he said after briefly sniffing the contents of the box. He took one in his hand and looked it over.
By this time Alexa was getting nervous, "Isn't that a characteristic of cyanide?"
He looked at her and said, "Don't worry. I know what I'm doing." He took a bite.
Everything seemed fine until he began to swallow. He began choking and holding his hands around his throat. Alexa screamed and rushed to perform the Heimlich.
He began to collapse onto the floor, all the while gasping and turning a weird color. Alexa was down beside him in a second and pulled his mouth open. As she tried to reach inside his mouth to remove the blockage from his throat, CC grabbed her hands and pierced her with a panicked look. He held her hands as he passed out, his head lolling to the side.
This would have been convincing except that she saw him quickly hide a smile. Laughing, he pulled her down on top of him and started tickling her.
He can breathe!! I'm gonna kill him!!!
She was still trying to recover from the shock of seeing him gasping for air when she started to pound on him, "You JERK!!! I thought you were dying, choking!!" He pulled her head down and kissed her. At first the kiss was an effort to keep her from yelling at him, but it quickly turned into something tender.
When he released her, she was somewhat dumbstruck, "Hmm… so THAT'S what it takes to shut you up. Good to know." He stood up from their semi-seated state and pulled her up with him, one hand on her hip, the other in her hair. He looked deep into her eyes and leaned toward her, "I need milk, chocolate chip cookies demand milk!" He turned his head toward the refrigerator.
"Well, I need another kiss!" Alexa whispered as she grabbed his head and pulled it down to hers.