Against the Edge (The Raines of Wind Canyon) (25 page)

“That sounds dangerous, Michael.”

“Good stories don’t come easy.”

She sipped her coffee. “Is that why you came here? You were looking for another story?”

He set his mug down on the counter, reached over and took her hand. “I came because you’re here, Claire. The story just gave me an excuse. I never stopped loving you. I figured if we spent time together, maybe we could find what we had before.”

Claire started shaking her head. “I don’t think—”

Michael put a finger to her lips. “Don’t say anything. Not right now. Just say that if I call, you’ll agree to see me.”

She looked into his handsome face, saw the interest she had seen long ago when they had first met. And yet it didn’t feel the same. “I can’t do that. Not right now.”

He lifted her hand and kissed her palm. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll find a way to make things right.”

Claire made no reply. She wasn’t in love with Michael. She was in love with Ben Slocum.

She couldn’t have the man she wanted.

And she didn’t want the man she could have.

Twenty-Seven

B
en guided Sam up to Claire’s front door on Tuesday evening. He hadn’t seen her since last Saturday, when he’d found her in her apartment talking to her ex-boyfriend. He was still trying to wrap his head around the jolt of murderous jealousy he’d felt when he’d seen Michael Sullivan standing in her living room as if he belonged there.

“Can I ring Claire’s doorbell?”

“Sure, go ahead.” He could sense Sam’s eagerness to see her. The bad news was, Ben wanted to see her nearly that much himself. He tried not to think what might have happened between Claire and Sullivan after he’d walked away.

Had she gone back to him? Had she kissed him? Hell, had he taken her to bed?

The thought twisted his guts into a knot. His mind flashed back to Laura the night, three days after he had given her an engagement ring, he had walked into her apartment and found her in bed with another man.

Just then Claire opened the door, putting an end to the ugly thought.

Sam grinned up at her. “Hi, Claire.”

“Hi, sweetheart. Happy birthday!” She bent and gave him a hug. “How does it feel to be ten years old?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t been ten that long.”

“Maybe you’ll feel older after your party.”

Sam’s grin widened. It was good to see him smiling. He hadn’t been doing a lot of that lately.

“You ready to go?” Ben asked Claire, trying not to notice the dress she was wearing, a soft burgundy that covered her neck-to-knee but was snug enough to show off every feminine curve. His gaze traveled down those long shapely legs, and he remembered the way they had felt wrapped around him in bed. She was wearing very high heels and he remembered the night he’d taken her in nothing but a pair of heels and thigh-high black stockings.

Christ, just looking at her made him hard, and there wasn’t much chance of that changing for the rest of the evening. Ben shifted to relieve the pressure in his groin.

“Let me grab my purse.” She ran back across the room and grabbed her handbag and a big present wrapped with blue-and-brown paper and a big blue bow on top. “Happy birthday, Sam.”

He took the present almost shyly. “Thanks. Can I open it now?”

“Nope. Got to wait till the party.”

Soon they pulled up in front of Sage and Jake’s, a big pale pink colonial in the University District they had renovated. Having a party for Sam had been Ben’s idea. Having it at Sage and Jake’s had been Sage’s.

It was November and the weather was cool. It wasn’t raining but when he walked out onto the covered patio, kerosene heaters had been set up to dispel the early-evening chill. Blue-and-brown-striped tablecloths covered a half-dozen small tables, each with a football decoration set in blue flowers. Ben and Sam had been watching the Texans games together. He wouldn’t have guessed how much fun it could be to share the game with his kid.

One of the tables held the presents. Staring at the pile in awe, Sam carefully added Claire’s gift to the stack.

“You know most everyone,” Ben said, having taken Sam into the office several times to meet his friends. They’d all been great to his son, especially Annie, who didn’t have kids of her own and took on the role of substitute grandmother.

Sam’s gaze wandered over the crepe paper streamers suspended from the ceiling, the party favors and colorful paper plates. “I’ve never had such a fancy birthday party.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” Ben said with the slight smile his son wasn’t quite sure was teasing. “They’ve got a lot more money than we do.”

Sam looked worriedly up at him. “We don’t have any money?”

Ben grinned. It happened more lately, but it still felt a little odd. “Don’t worry, we’ve got enough. You aren’t going to have to eat any more alligator stew.”

Claire’s eyes widened at the mention of Sam’s ordeal, but Ben had already decided to tackle the subject head-on.

Sam let out a belly laugh. Apparently the strategy was working.

“Come on, there’s a couple of people I want you to meet.” Resting a hand on Sam’s shoulder, Ben started leading him away. When Claire didn’t follow, he paused. “You coming with us?”

She hesitated, then walked up beside them. Ben ignored a feeling of rightness that settled him somehow and kept walking till he reached a familiar pair of faces.

“Sam, this is Mr. and Mrs. Justice. They’re just back from their honeymoon.” Alex, a former navy pilot, was tall and blond while his wife, Sabrina, was a cute little redhead.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Sam said politely. The kid had good manners, and he was already beginning to fit in at school. He guessed Laura had done a good job raising him despite everything.

“It’s great to meet you, too, Sam.” Sabrina smiled. “You can call me Rina. Most everyone does.”

“Everyone but me,” Alex said, bending to give his petite wife a kiss on the cheek. Sabrina flushed.

“I’m Alex,” he said to Sam, extending a hand Sam politely shook. “Welcome to the family, such as it is.”

Sam looked up at him in confusion.

“We’re all a family here,” Annie explained as she sashayed up to join them. “Some of us are a little friendlier than others,” she said pointedly to Ben. “We just needed a young man like you to bring us all together.”

Sam seemed pleased.

“This is my sister, Rebecca,” Alex said. “This is Joe, the guy she’s going to marry. And this young lady is my favorite niece, Ginny.”

“I’m his only niece,” Ginny said, laughing. “Happy birthday, Sam.”

Ben didn’t think the boy was old enough to like girls, but from the look he was giving pretty little seven-year-old Ginny Wyatt, he definitely had his father’s genes.

“Wanna play kickball before you open your presents?” Ginny asked.

“Sure.” Sam glanced up at him for permission. Ben nodded and the pair raced off to play. Two other boys from Sam’s class were also there, nice kids, Ben thought as all of them started racing around on the grass, chasing after the soccer ball. Ginny, the youngest, was holding her own, but she’d always been a tomboy.

“I could use a beer,” Ben said to Claire. “You want something?”

“I’d love a glass of wine.”

He walked her over to the soft-drink bar that had been set up for the kids and grabbed a cold bottle of Bud Light out of the bucket of ice on the ground beside it. Finding an open bottle of chardonnay, he poured a glass for Claire. As she took the glass, their fingers brushed, and that slight contact made his blood begin to heat. Damn.

Claire took a sip and Ben tipped up his bottle. “Thanks for coming.”

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t have missed it.”

He walked her over to one of the tables and both of them sat down. “So how’d it go with lover boy?”

Her dark eyebrows went up. “If you mean Michael, he’s here on assignment. Something about drug trafficking in Houston. He said it was connected to what he was working on before.”

“That’s it? That’s all that happened? He told you about the story he’s writing?”

“That’s right. We talked for a while then he left.”

“You didn’t sleep with him?”

Her head shot up. “What? No, of course not.”

Relief slid through him. Claire wouldn’t lie about something like that. Or at least he didn’t think she would.

They turned and watched the children playing on the grass. When he turned back, Claire was watching him.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said. “I’ve been wanting to for some time. Somehow it never seemed right. Maybe now’s the time.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“It’s about you and Laura.”

“That’s old news, angel.”

“Not all of it. I think you should know the reason Laura cheated on you.”

He grunted.

“Laura wanted you to have the chance to do what you always wanted. She knew as long as the two of you were together, that was never going to happen.”

“Bullshit.”

“Is it? How badly did you want to join the navy? From the moment she met you, she said all you talked about was becoming a SEAL. It meant everything to you, right? Then the two of you fell in love. After that, instead of enlisting, you were going to stay in Pittsburgh. You’d get a job, you said, maybe go back to the steel mill.”

“We could have worked it out.”

“Laura didn’t think so. She thought you loved her so much you would be willing to give up everything for her. Every one of your dreams.”

It was true. He had been deeply in love with Laura. He would have done anything to make her happy. His stomach was churning. He didn’t like to talk about the past.

Claire was relentless. “The problem was, you were willing to give up everything, but Laura couldn’t handle the responsibility. She thought sooner or later you’d come to resent her for destroying your dreams. Three nights after you gave her an engagement ring, she got drunk at a party and took one of the guys home with her.”

“My ex–good buddy, Jimmy Bates. He’s lucky he’s still breathing.”

“Laura knew you were coming over after you finished studying. She wanted you to find her, Ben. She loved you enough to set you free.”

Ben’s chest tightened. He set the beer bottle down on the table. “It’s all bullshit. She just told you that because she felt guilty.”

“You’re right. She felt guilty for the rest of her life. Guilty and miserable. She never got over you, Ben. Laura never stopped loving you. That’s the reason she wanted to have your baby.”

“That’s enough. I don’t want to hear any more. Laura’s dead. It’s all in the past. The only thing I care about now is my son. The only woman I care about is you.”

Fuck, he hadn’t meant to say that. He got up from the table, downed the last swallow of his beer, set it down and walked away.

He heard the sound of the children laughing as Claire walk up behind him. “I care about you, too, Ben,” she said softly.

His chest clamped down. “Doesn’t matter. I told you—I’m not good at relationships.”

She followed his gaze out to his son. “I’m not sure I believe that anymore.”

She might not think so, but it was true. He had enough to handle learning how to be a father. He wasn’t about to take on the responsibilities of learning to be a husband, too. Just the thought made the knot in his stomach go tighter.

The feeling got worse when Trace and Maggie walked in, Trace bearing cigars and, beneath his cowboy hat, a grin that stretched all the way across his face.

“We’ve got news,” he said, handing expensive cigars to everyone within reach, even the women. “Maggie’s pregnant.”

They all rushed over, laughing and hugging, wishing them congratulations.

“It’s a girl,” Maggie said, grinning. “Trace is sure she’ll have red hair.” Sage laughed, knowing redheads had always been Trace’s weakness. Claire seemed really pleased for Maggie, who was becoming a friend.

Ben thought of the responsibilities he was undertaking in raising a son. Claire would want children of her own. He didn’t want to even think about it. He made the proper responses, then went back to watching the kids playing on the lawn.

He didn’t say more than a couple of words to Claire the rest of the evening, just kept his attention on Sam as the boy opened his gifts, surprised and pleased with each new item, careful to thank the person who had given it to him.

Ben stood by as Sam blew out his candles, laughing with delight when he snuffed all ten, then helping Claire cut pieces of a chocolate cake that was decorated with a football and a Houston Texans jersey in icing on the top, Sam’s name and age in big blue letters.

A few minutes later, Sam came over and thanked him in private for the iPod Ben had given him that Sam seemed to love, calling him Ben instead of
Dad.

Ben looked forward to the day that would change.

In the meantime, he would be staying away from Claire. He wasn’t ready to sleep with another woman the way he would have been in the past. But in time he would be. Down the road, he’d get past his confusing feelings for Claire, and they could be friends.

One thing Sam wasn’t getting for his birthday or anytime in the future was a mother.

Ben was sure about that.

* * *

“Stop it, Aggie. You been mopin’ around for weeks.” Mace stood on the porch in front of his cabin in the bug-out compound. A small group had gathered around.

“He was my boy,” Aggie said. “Troy brung him to me. He was mine, and you and that worthless bunch out yonder let them men come waltzing in here like they owned the place and take him right out from under your noses.”

“Yeah, well, he weren’t nothin’ but another mouth to feed.”

“He was my boy, and I want him back.”

Mace flicked a glance at Troy. He was standing next to Duke, the pair of them just lookin’ for an excuse to leave. Troy never was much for country livin’. ’Specially since there weren’t no women. Mace had him a whore in town when he got the urge, but Troy and Duke figured they was too good to pay for it.

“I brought the kid to Aggie,” Troy said. “He came with me of his own accord. He’s our sister’s kin now. You’ve always said we Braggs protect our own.”

“Don’t be a fool. We don’t even know who took the kid or where he is.”

“We’ve got friends in town,” Troy said. “They know people in the sheriff’s department. We need to find the boy and bring him back.”

“Troy’s right,” Big Nosed Zeke agreed, always a damned troublemaker. “We let this go, people think we can’t defend ourselves. They start to lose respect.”

“I heard some of our members talkin’,” Nate, the preacher, said. He lived on a farm down the road apiece, but he was one of the Patriots’ strongest supporters. “They figure we got to settle this. They say it’s a matter of honor.”

Mace looked out at the group of men gathered in their secondary compound, a smaller bunch, since it was miles away from the main camp, deeper in the swamp. “We don’t need no more trouble. We bring the kid back, the law’ll be on us like flies on shit. Bad enough as it was.”

Aggie opened her mouth, but Mace sliced her a look that warned her not to say another word. “Troy, you and Duke want to leave, then get on your high horse and go.”

“Take it easy,” Troy said. “We were just talking. Aggie misses the boy, that’s all.”