Alas My Love (15 page)

Chapter 20

F
or all of my life, I have lived in your shadow,” Maude spat hatefully. “You were always there to make my days unbearable, and when I could stand it no longer, I married a man I did not love. All, I might add, in order to escape the presence of you and your mother.”

“Maude be reasonable. Mother held naught but kindness in her heart for you, and I was a child of ten years when you married. I had naught to do with that choice or decision.”

“I wanted DuBonnet!”

“I had naught to do with that, either. My love for him was not returned. Certainly the love of a grown man could not be given to a child. If Tanny had loved me, he could have asked for my hand. We could have been betrothed—others were at ages younger than mine. You speak false if you say I had anything to do with keeping Tancred from seeking your hand. He didn’t know I existed.”

Maude help up the dagger. Her face contorted in rage. “You spoke out against me! You told him I was unworthy of his love.”

“Lies!” Helena’s anger matched that of her stepsister. “I would have, but my mother would not allow it. She said ’twas a matter for adults to decide. ’Tis true enough that I wanted to keep you from Tanny, but I said nothing!”

“Then ’twas Eleanor.”

“Nay! My mother would not have done such a thing. She would have happily seen you married off. What was it to her but to be rid of your sour face in her home?” Helena knew the feelings were more her own than those of her departed mother.

“It was my home first! You were intruders. You, who came into my house and stole all that would be mine. I dealt with Eleanor for her treachery, just as I dealt with Tancred. Now, I will deal with you.”

Helena’s eyes widened. “Tancred? Have you slain him already?” Her voice betrayed the anguish.

Maude laughed dementedly. “Nay, not until a priest joins us in marriage. I am not stupid.”

Relief flooded Helena’s face. “Then what speak you of having dealt with Tancred?”

Maude’s face relaxed and a smile formed upon her lips. “Revenge has always been my closest companion. When others would not do my bidding, revenge served me well. Just as I make Tancred pay for rejecting my affections, so I will make you pay for stealing his love from me.”

“I do not understand. How did you avenge yourself against Tancred?” The cold of the stone wall was seeping into Helena’s body, but still she did not move.

“When Tancred would have no part of me, I decided ’twas only fair to exact a punishment.” Maude toyed with the dagger, then waved her arms. Before she could speak, a noise sounded outside the open door and drew her attention. With a quick glance at Helena, Maude turned to investigate the noise.

Helena hurried to the roof ladder and might have made an escape, but her surcoat tripped her up and the ripping sound of material, along with Helena’s headlong fall, quickly brought Maude back into the room.

“You cannot hope to defy me in this. The rats may make merry in the tower, but you will die this night.”

Helena picked herself up and tried to hold the torn garment together. Her blond hair was wildly askew and her breathing came in panting gulps. “How,” she gasped, “how did you avenge yourself? I would know that much before I die.”

Maude smirked at the younger woman. “He kept from me what I loved most, so I took from him what he loved most.”

Realization suddenly dawned on Helena. “His parents!”

“Aye, his precious father and mother.” Maude’s eyes gleamed at the memo
ry. “I sent him a message, much the same as I did for you this night.” She moved
the dagger to her left hand, and it was then that it occurred to Helena that
Maude was right-handed.

So much for the left-handed being the only truly evil. Helena’s thoughts were interrupted as Maude retrieved something from the pouch of her belt. Holding it up, Helena saw that it was a ring. “ ’Tis the DuBonnet signet. The same I took from Roger’s room and kept with me unto this day. A simple thing, yet it yielded a way to trap the man who would not be trapped.”

“You sent for Tanny and called him to his parents’ home, but how. . . ?” Helena’s voice faltered. She couldn’t say the words.

“How did I arrange for them to be killed? ’Tis what you are asking, is it not?”

Helena nodded and shuddered. “Aye.”

“I could not very well kill them myself. So I took coin and paid it to be done. I arranged it carefully so that when Tancred arrived upon his homelands, it would be a signal to those who lay in wait. The deed was done, and just as I had planned, Tancred arrived first upon the scene. ’Twas luck, plain and simple, that Richard arrived shortly behind to find the knife in his brother’s hand.” Maude slipped the ring on her finder and shifted the knife.

“But what of the witnesses?” Helena questioned, again backing up to feel the wall behind her.

“They were paid and later poisoned to keep them from telling their tales. The real murderer did not live long enough to be dealt with by me. He was killed the next day fighting over another man’s wife. So you see,” Maude stepped forward in determined steps, “you are the only one who lives to tell my story.”

“They will find me,” Helena murmured.

“Perhaps, but not for a long while. Especially not if I play the details out properly. I will go to Roger and tell him that you were desperate to leave the castle. I will tell that you could no longer bear your misery here. He will look upon the road for you. No one will seek you here.”

“But I left your letter in my room,” Helena said, grasping at the slim hope Maude would falter.

“I will simply retrieve it when the deed is done here. No one will be the wiser.”

“Roger knows,” Helena finally admitted. She had to make Maude see reason.

“Pray tell, what does Roger know?”

“I told him that you were forcing me away from Tancred. Tanny knows, as well, and he will never be yours after this.” Helena drew a deep breath and continued—afraid that if she stopped for long, Maude would refuse to hear her out.

“Tanny found me crying, and Roger insisted I tell the truth. He and Tanny waited with me until I explained it in detail. I told them you were forcing me away. I told them I had no desire to leave, but that you wanted Tancred for your own.

“They assured me you would be no threat to them. Roger planned this entire matter and arranged it so that you would stumble upon your own words. He knew it was your plan to remain here at Gavenshire, so he and Tancred agreed that Tanny would accompany us. When you had played out your game here and returned to the manor, Tancred was to accompany me back to Gavenshire at the request of the duchess.”

Maude’s lip curled. “You are more deceiving and wicked than I gave you credit for. It matters naught! For this as well you will die!” She came at Helena with the knife, but just as her arm came down, someone pulled Maude backward. With a muffled thud, Maude hit the floor with her attacker. She quickly rolled away and found Roger springing to his feet. Tancred and Richard rushed to Helena’s side.

“You have caused enough pain, Maude,” Roger stated, while Maude struggled to her feet. “You have lied and forced your will upon innocent people. Now I personally will see you before the king to admit your guilt in the killing of the DuBonnets and Lady Eleanor.”

“Never!” Maude steadied herself and held tightly to the knife. “I will not be made the fool. You played me false, Brother, and you,” she said looking hard at Tancred, who stood in front of a shaking Helena, “you played me a fool. You made me believe there was hope when there was none. You toyed with my affection and left me behind to suffer when it suited your purpose.”

“The only hope you saw for a union between us,” Tancred replied, “was one you conjured in your evil mind. I had no love for you and would never have thought to offer you my name.”

Roger ignored Maude for a moment and stepped toward Helena. “Are you injured?” he questioned.

“Nay, my gown suffered more than I.” Helena looked up at her stepbrother with gratitude. “ ’Twould have been much worse had you a slower pace.”

“You have Tancred to thank for my pace. He awoke me and brought this matter to light.”

Helena turned her eyes to her beloved. “Oh, Tanny,” she whispered. Her heart pounded all the harder at the passionate emotion she saw in his eyes. “My dying gratitude to you, my love. It would seem that once again you have rescued me from trouble.”

Tancred smiled down at her with pure pleasure. “Seems I am ever called upon to perform such tasks. ’Twould be only fitting that I make proper arrangements to keep you under my guard on a more permanent basis.”

Helena raised a brow in question, but Tancred had no chance to reply before Maude let out a scream. All four turned to find her on her feet, dagger in hand, and face contorted in rage.

“He is mine! No other shall have him!” She rushed forward to stab at Tancred, but Roger easily deflected her blows and sent the knife clattering across the stone floor.

“ ’Tis ended, Maude. You have spilled enough blood. Must I spill yours to still your hatred?” Roger growled.

Maude refused to cower, but her voice took on a frail air. “But I love him. I have always loved him. He was to be my husband and—”

“I was never to be your husband, Maude. I never loved you and never will. You have no hope of a marriage with me. Not then, not now, not ever.”

Maude lowered her head in complete dejection, and Roger exhaled a sigh of relief. “I am truly sorry for my sister’s behavior, Your Grace. I would never have endangered your family had I known what Maude was fully capable of.”

Richard shook his head. “There is no need for apologies, Talbot. You had no way of knowing.”

“She murdered your parents,” Helena said, stepping from behind Tancred to face Richard.

“Aye, we heard her confession.” Richard’s voice betrayed his sorrow. “At least it is put to rest.”

“I am so sorry,” Helena murmured, tears forming in her eyes.

Tancred put his arm around her and pulled her close. “ ’Tis no longer a matter for consideration. ’Tis finished.”

“At least it will be when—” Roger’s words were interrupted by Maude’s sudden bolt to the door.

“I will not hang for this,” she screeched and raced down the stairs. Before anyone could move, a terrible scream rang out, followed by a thud, and then ominous silence.

“Come,” Richard said to Roger. “Tancred, you keep Lady Helena here.”

“Aye,” Tancred replied, feeling Helena trembling beneath his hold.

Helena gripped Tancred tightly and buried her face against his chest. It was all so ugly and heinous. How could any of them bear up against Maude’s violence?

She wanted to say something. Anything. What words would show Tancred how much she grieved for him, for his loss? Nothing she said would bring his parents back. Just as there were no words that could bring back her mother. All three were dead because of one person’s selfishness and twisted cruelty.

Tancred was smoothing her hair, and Helena relaxed against the rhythmic strokes. He was so strong, and he’d borne so very much. Helena knew she would always love him. Even if he could never offer her marriage, Helena would go on loving him from afar.

Roger returned to the tower room with a grim set to his face. “She is dead.”

“Dead?” Helena choked out the word.

“Aye, she broke her neck in the fall. Her days of inflicting pain and suffering are finished.”

Helena looked at Tancred and then to Roger, wondering what it all meant. What would happen now? Could they prove Maude was responsible for the killings and free Tancred from further humiliation?

Richard entered the room just then, and Helena noted that his expression was one more of relief than sorrow. “We will bury your sister and then go to the king.” Roger nodded and Tancred only tightened his grip on Helena. Richard continued. “I’ve instructed my men to remove Lady Talbot and see her to the priest. I will beg him to take pity on her and offer her a proper burial.”

“You mentioned the king,” Helena said, pushing back her long blond hair.

“Aye,” Richard said solemnly. “We will go, your brother, mine, and myself. We will give Henry the facts of the matter and allow him to determine what is to take place from this moment forward. If you will excuse me, I must go speak with the priest.”

“I will go along, as well,” Roger offered.

When they were both gone, Tancred released his tightened grip on Helena and held her at arm’s length. “You are truly unharmed?”

Helena nodded. She sheepishly held up the torn edge of her surcoat. “This is the worst of it.”

“It is well. It vexed me sorely to imagine you had come here, thinking as you must that I beckoned you, only to be injured at Maude’s hand.”

Helena nodded. “How did you find us so quickly? I had not but come a short while before you entered.”

“I had come to speak with you and found you gone. The letter was upon the floor.”

“I must have dropped it in my haste.”

“When I saw it, I could only imagine that someone meant to trick you. I knew I had not written it, yet it bore my signet. I thought I recognized the writing, and after learning that Richard was innocent of it as well, I presumed it must have come from Roger.”

“You thought Roger had played us false and planned to harm me again?

“That did cross my mind.” He studied her hard for a moment, his eyes seeming to drink her in with an unyielding sobriety. “I feared that moment as I have never feared anything done to me.”

Helena smiled and lowered her head. “ ’Twould seem you might care a bit for me. I am glad.”

Tancred pulled her close, causing Helena to raise her gaze to meet his. His finger lightly stroked her cheek. “A bit? You think I might only care a bit?”

Helena’s smile broadened. “I cannot guess more, Sire. ’Twould be a dangerous assumption on my part. There has been little more to prove such hope.”

“Then let this be your proof,” he said and lowered his lips to meet hers in a passionate kiss.

Chapter 21

It was most trying to be left behind, but Helena and Arianne found themselves once again in that position. “ ’Tis the lot of women,” Arianne sighed when the second week had come and gone with no word from Richard.

Helena tried not to look too downcast as she nodded. “ ’Tis well there is much work to be about.” She looked down at the tunic she was stitching and realized she would have to pluck out the thread on a good portion of the seam she’d just made. “Yet I cannot keep my hands and mind working together on this matter.” She held up the material sadly.

Arianne laughed. “I know how it is.” She held up her own piece, a linen coif for Richard. “This has borne my frustrations poorly.”

“Will the king believe them?” Helena asked softly. She let the tunic fall to her lap.

“I believe so. There is really no doubt in my mind.” Arianne’s words were not simply given to encourage; they were heartfelt.

“Do you believe Henry will restore Tancred’s property and title?”

“That is a matter I have no head for. Richard believes it so, however, and he is scarce wrong when it comes to his beloved king.”

Helena nodded and got to her feet. “I’m going to the chapel. It would seem I feel best when on my knees.”

Arianne put her sewing aside, checked on the sleeping Timothy, and joined Helena at the door. “Matilda and I have been praying as well. God will do what is best. Never forget this.”

“I won’t.”

Helena went below and walked somberly to the chapel. She spent a great deal of time there in prayer, and when she entered the room, she immediately felt strengthened.

The chapel was empty; no other sole had come to pray, and the priest was in the village attending to matters there. Helena was glad for the solitude. She loved to look up at the stained glass of the chapel window and think.

Richard had surprised Arianne at Christmas with the window of deep scarlet, blue, and yellow. It was the likeness of an empty tomb, with a cross overhead. Richard said it reminded him that Christ’s story did not end at the cross, but began anew. The empty tomb, he had told her one evening in reflection, was one of the most hopeful symbols of all. It was there to remind us that we are resurrected in Christ, that just as He rolled the stone aside and walked away from death’s grip, we, too, could do the same in Him.

Kneeling in the rushes before the altar, Helena prayed for some time, asking blessings upon those she loved. She asked that God would grant the king wisdom and mercy in dealing with Tancred and added selfishly her desire that He make Tancred her husband soon.

She was startled when someone knelt in the rushes beside her and opened her eyes to find Tancred.

“Tanny?”

He reached out to take her hand and kissed it lightly. “Your prayers have brought me home.”

“In more ways than one this is true,” she replied. “Would you pray with me now?”

“Aye, it would be most fitting.” They bowed their heads, and after several moments of silent communion with God, Tancred pulled Helena to her feet. “Come. We must talk.”

Pausing outside the chapel, Helena casually let her gaze travel the length of Tancred. Disheveled a bit from an obviously fast-paced ride, Tancred’s hair begged her touch and Helena could not resist.

“Do I meet with milady’s approval?” he asked, grinning.

“Aye, very much so. You could stand a bit of grooming, but otherwise I find you perfect.”

“Nay, it will never be so, but I am glad to find you satisfied with me.”

“Pray tell, why?” She looked at him with little-girl innocence.

Tancred’s grin turned roguish. “I could say, but I’d much rather show you.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her lips soundly.

Helena wrapped her arms around his neck, totally forgetting where they were. Her heart pounded from joy and passion, and she sighed a deep, throaty sigh when his lips traveled boldly from her mouth to the side of her face and then just below her ear.

“I most enjoy this talk,” she teased.

“You are a hard vision to put from my mind,” Tancred whispered between kisses.

“No more so than you,” Helena countered. “Remember I held your face for eleven years in my heart.”

“And glad I am that you did.” The spell was broken, and Tancred set her away from him just a bit. “Which reminds me.”

“I know,” Helena grinned. “We must talk.”

“Aye, and quickly.”

Tancred led her out beyond the castle walls. The brilliance of spring grass and wildflowers set a lively mood that infected Helena. Beyond the castle, a calm, blue sea awaited their review, while gulls flew overhead, searching for bits of food.

To Helena, it was as if spring had come all at once. “ ’Tis so beautiful!” she exclaimed and strayed from Tancred’s side to do an animated jig. She hummed a song to herself and laughed when Tancred pulled her back to him and held her fast.

“You have not yet asked what happened with Henry.”

“True.” She sobered a bit. “Mayhaps you will tell me now?”

Tancred reached up and pulled the linen wimple from her head. “Pesky things. I rather fancy the way your hair was spilled out that night in the tower.” He toyed with the wisps of blond hair that had come loose from her braid.

“ ’Tis pesky when a man would undress a maiden’s hair without the right to do so,” Helena said snidely. “If I had a champion, he would be called to defend me just now.”

Tancred chuckled and tossed the wimple aside. “You have a champion in me, Milady.” He bowed low before her, making Helena giggle.

“I would rather have you for a husband,” she stated boldly.

Tancred rose and shook his head. “It would seem that you and Henry agree on the matter.”

“Oh, Tanny! Did the king give us permission to marry?”

“Aye.”

He seemed quite pleased with himself, and Helena couldn’t help laughing. “Tell me all!”

Tancred put his hand about her waist and walked toward the cliff edge with Helena snugly beside him. “Henry listened to all we had to say and made a full record of Maude’s treachery. He was most satisfied that the matter was ended.”

“Did he restore your lands?” Helena asked hesitantly lest she sound greedy.

“Nay,” Tancred said softly in a reflective manner.

Helena frowned and looked up to catch his eyes looking out across the vastness of the sea. She squeezed his hand. “Alas, my love, ’tis of no matter. It will be well with us so long as we have each other. I care naught for the land or the titles, only for you.”

Tancred gazed down upon her with such deeply felt love that Helena had to look away. “He could not restore my lands for they were given to the church and made into a monastery. He did, however, give me lands not far from these. I will not make a beggar’s wife of you, my dear.”

Helena gasped. “Lands here?”

“Aye, within a two-day journey of Gavenshire. We will join Richard’s land on one side, while Devon’s estate joins them on the other.”

“How wonderful!” She hugged him tightly and was not surprised when his arms wrapped around her and held her fast.

“Marry me, Helena,” he whispered.

Helena melted against him. “Aye,” she murmured. It was the culmination of a lifetime of dreaming.

Pulling away, Helena turned her back to Tancred and stared out across the sea. “These waters once separated us, and for many years I cursed them and mourned my loss. But the same waters brought you back again, and I curse them no more.”

Tancred pulled her back against him, nestling his face against her shoulder. “I pledge you that no one shall separate us again. There may come a day when I am summoned to do the king’s work or attend to matters of my own, but here in my heart, we shall ever be one. I love you, Helena. I vow always to love you.”

Helena felt tears upon her cheeks and wiped them away with her hand before turning to face her beloved Tanny. Her heart nearly burst at the sight of him. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead a song came to her lips. Tanny’s song:

If my beloved were a king,

I couldst not love him more.

Were he a jester to make men laugh,

My love I would implore.

But, alas, my love is but a man,

Of heart and soul so free.

And I couldst no more break my vow,

Than break the heart in me.