Authors: Myles (Mickey) Golde
“What are you saying?” Shirley asked as Molly came in from the kitchen and sat down next to her, putting her arm around Shirley’s shoulders.
“Your mother will drive him to and from school every day and you can come over and have dinner with us at night.
“Do you think that’s necessary?” Shirley asked. “I can’t even think straight, I’ve been so worried.”
Molly squeezed Shirley’s shoulders. “He’ll be fine with us. And you’ll be able to relax and get your house ready to sell.”
Ben leaned forward. “And while you’re at it, take some time to think about what’s going on with your marriage. Okay?”
Shirley nodded.
Ben sat back in his chair. “And just stay with Doris in the meantime. Don’t go back to your house until I say so.”
Three days later, Fred called, telling her that Howie had wired more money and inviting her to meet him for lunch the next day at Rodity’s restaurant on Halsted near Adams, rather than at the office.
In the morning Shirley hummed as she dressed for lunch; discarding a grey suit and low heels in favor of form-fitting black slacks with four-inch heels and a lavender cashmere cardigan over a white silk blouse .Looking in the mirror, she nodded slightly and opened an additional button of the low-cut blouse. She took a pass on the false eyelashes; thinking it’s
only a lunch date
.
He was already seated in a booth near the back when she arrived. She could tell from his smile that she looked perfect for the occasion.
As the waiter served them each a glass of wine, tinkling Greek music blared and loud talking bounced off the walls at the lively restaurant. Fred handed Shirley an envelope, which she quickly stuffed in her handbag. Covering her hand with his, and, trying to talk softly over the noise, he said, “I don’t know how to explain the feeling I have about you. You are the most attractive and interesting woman I have ever known.”
“Oh my God,” she said, laughing. “That’s some line for a sophisticated lawyer to be pulling on an old married lady like me.”
He stroked her palm with his forefinger. “It’s true. And forget the old lady part, you’re sexy as hell.”
Tucking in her chin and shyly looking up she replied breathlessly, “Hey, I’m thirty-one. And you know what, Fred? I admit there is something going on here and I know it’s not right, but I can’t help myself, either. You are a very attractive man and you make me feel like a desirable woman.”
He covered her hand with his and squeezed. She responded squeezing back and then slid her fingers out of his, reaching for her drink. “I feel guilty. I don’t do things like this. But somehow, you make me forget that. Please, can’t we just be friends?”
He straightened, moving his hands back to his side of the table. “I understand this is not a good time for you to have additional stress in your life. I also don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t make passes at married ladies. But dammit, I can’t seem to control myself
around you
.”
“I’ll try if you will,” Shirley said, winking and moving her hands off the table onto her lap.
They continued talking, she changing the subject to Howie and preparations for the move to Florida. “There are so many details, I don’t know where to start. I did contact a mover who’s sending me a list of everything I need for a long distance relocation. And when we talked, Howie did say that we should get new furniture because our stuff from here won’t look like it belongs in Florida. There’s still a million things to pack; I’ll just have to make a list and go from there.”
Fred shrugged and nodded as the waiter made a flourish firing up a saganaki and placed it on the table. He picked up his fork and cut into the hot appetizer catching Shirley’s eye, waiting before saying,” This place is getting to me. I want to kiss and undress you and make mad passionate love to you. I want to devour you.”
She let out a screech of laughter, causing the waiter to whirl around and ask if something was wrong. Still laughing, she waved him off and reached for a napkin. Fred smiled sheepishly, his hand holding a forkful of the hot cheese in mid-air.
Raising the napkin to her lips, she wiped at her mouth; then looked down, becoming very quiet. He set down the fork and watched her.
Glancing up, she signaled the waiter. “Can we have the check please?” she purred.
Once outside, she took his arm as they walked down Halsted to Madison and checked into the Holiday Inn. Entering the third-floor room, he double-locked the door and turned. She attacked him, ripping at his tie and jacket; discarding them on the floor while covering his face with kisses. He, being very deliberate, carefully unzipped her slacks and helped her remove her sweater as he stroked her hands and shoulders. Still holding him, she kicked off her shoes as he fondled her breasts and hastily removed her bra and panties. Holding tightly to one another, struggling with the rest of his clothing, they fell on the bed, tearing at the spread, she on top of him, whispering. “Please make love to me. I need you.” Their lovemaking was hurried as they went at each other, yet it had a lust that made her shriek as she released all her pent-up desire. He also cried out, holding her tightly.
Clinging together and. sighing, he shuddered, “I can’t believe how good I feel. I think I love you.”
“Fred,” she laughed loudly, her hand covering her mouth, “I love being made love to by you, and I love you. Oh Fred, I wanted you so bad.”
Arm in arm, they walked back to the restaurant parking lot an hour later. They waited under the watchful eye of the car hiker who addressed him as Mr. Berman. Her rented Chevy arrived and they shook hands as another car hiker handed Fred his keys and gave him a wink. She looked away. Climbing into the car and quickly closing the door; she felt a sudden tinge of regret.
It had been a long time since Shirley had been treated so attentively. She continued to see Fred every few days at his apartment on Marine Drive or at his office where she received Howie’s phone calls.
Usually, Howie would be sweet and reassuring when he called, although he’d screamed at her not to talk to any of his former associates when she mentioned that during a shopping trip to Eden’s Plaza, she’d run into a man at the Carson’s store, whom Howie had introduced her to a few years before when they were at a restaurant with Paschey. He’d also blown up when she told him that David was staying with her parents. When she argued that it was his fault for not being home when they needed him, he hung up on her. But called back moments later, much calmer, telling her he loved her and David and that he’d just been upset because he missed them but not to worry, they would be together soon; adding that everything with the new job was going well. At end of the conversation, as he did with each call, he reassured her that what he was doing was best for all of them and begged her to trust him. At the same time Shirley would feel her stomach knot with increasing feelings of guilt about Fred, who had given her keys to his apartment and was beginning to put pressure on her to leave Howie. She was sure that David would not take the news well if she left Howie for Fred.
Despite Howie’s prolonged absences, David loved him, and even though his father did not always make him proud, he was grateful that Howie was always quick to take his side whenever Shirley was down
on him
.
As the weeks wore on, Shirley loved the attention and comfort she received from Fred , but by the time Howie sent for her and David in late July, she knew she wasn’t in love with him. On the other hand, he was good in bed and she liked the security he represented, so she carefully tried to keep the door open, just in case things in Florida did not work out.
Their last evening together, she waited for him at his two-bedroom bachelor pad on the 20
th
floor, overlooking the outer Drive. It was a lovely place, decorated in shades of beige and brown with bright-colored rust accents. Comfortable leather furniture and handsome, heavy wooden tables filled the rooms.
When he came in, he found her standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows with a drink, looking out at Lincoln Park and Montrose Beach. He met her with a kiss as she poured him a martini from the shaker. “Embraceable You.” played softly in the background as they walked back to the window and sipped their drinks, holding hands.
“Embrace Me, My Sweet Embraceable You, Embrace me, My Irreplaceable You,”
Peggy Lee crooned breathlessly as they deposited their half-empty glasses on the coffee table and slow-danced into the bedroom, discarding their clothes along the way.
Later, in terry robes, at a candle-lit table they shared a large salad and some wine. Afterward, they relaxed in the living room; he in his recliner and she on the couch with her feet tucked under her.
“I’m going to miss this place,” she sighed.
“You don’t have to.”
“Please, let’s not go into that again. Leaving is difficult enough.”
“I wish you’d stay.”
“Every time Howie calls or sends money, I feel guilty. I’m doing something behind his back while he’s working hard to try to make a life for us in Florida.”
“Shirley, be honest with yourself. You and Howie are not in love.”
“You’re wrong, I love him and he loves me. Sure, we have our disagreements, but we work them out. And I can’t take David away from his father.”
“Look, Shirley, we’ve been through this before. Howie’s betrayed your trust a million times already and sooner or later, it’s going to happen again, and it’s going to get worse every time. For Christ’s sake, he won’t even come back to help you get ready to move. I’m not going to give you an ultimatum, but you know I love you and I’d keep you safe. You’d never need to worry about where I was every night.”
“Please, Fred, I’ve got to give Florida a chance. Howie needs me and right now I’m just so confused. David and I have to be back with him, living a normal life, before I can make up my mind. You know I care deeply for you and hate hurting you.” Getting up, she walked over to the recliner and sat in his lap. “Hold me,” she whispered.
After lunch about an hour into the flight, Shirley closed her eyes and told David she was going to sleep, suggesting that he do the same. Sleep didn’t come easily, too many thoughts were going through her head and she didn’t know what to expect from Howie. She knew from their last few telephone conversations that he was excited to see David and her but she remained upset by his refusal to return to help them with the move. And if asked about his work in Fort Lauderdale, he quickly changed the subject.
She also wondered if it would be different with Howie after her last few months. Life with Howie had been tense for a long time before he left, and now that she was going back to him, she was having strong feelings of guilt about Fred.
The motors of the 707 droned on, bringing them closer to Florida; flooding her thoughts with anxiety about giving up her home, moving away from her folks and sister and leaving what little security she had in Chicago. Sleep became impossible.
The plane circled over the ocean as it prepared to come in for a landing at Fort Lauderdale. Turning and stretching over David’s shoulder she looked out the tiny window and saw the long runways and two planes, one preparing to take off, the other slowing to a stop close to the terminal. Leaning back, she closed her eyes and kept a firm grip on David’s hand to steady her nerves as the plane hovered over the airport and then picked up speed. Her heart racing as the pilot lowered the wheels and headed for the runway.
His forehead pressed to the window David squeezed her hand, exclaiming in a long drawn out way, “Wow, look at the beaches!” Peering over his shoulder again Shirley nodded, still holding his hand as she viewed the extensive ocean beaches with pleasure boats dotting the water, and a long pier, peopled with fishermen. It certainly was a glamorous landscape. The palm trees and the ocean looked like a tropical paradise. Closer to the ground, the picturesque arches of the huge windows of the light colored Spanish style terminal building with mammoth pots filled with colorful flowers on either side of the entryways had the appearance of a travel poster.
Howie was brimming with excitement as he greeted them. He ran up to the ramp as they exited down to the tarmac, wrapping his arms around the two of them, hugging them close. He shook David’s hand and then pulled him into a hug with one arm while extending the other to Shirley. Letting go of David, he pulled Shirley to him kissing her lips and hanging on, as he rubbed his tongue on hers. David turning bright red, rolling his eyes and looking away, commenting softly, “Dad, there’s people all around.
“It’s been a long time and I’ve missed you, baby,” Howie whispered.
Taking her hand and throwing an arm around David’s shoulder Howie led them into the terminal to collect their luggage.
“You won’t believe the way we can live here“, he bubbled flashing a huge grin. “It’s like being on vacation at a luxurious resort every day of the year. No more snow or cold weather. In fact, wait till you see my new car. You’ll love it.”
Depositing the two of them with their bags at the curb, he returned a few minutes later in a shiny white Oldsmobile convertible with a black top and bright red leather interior. David let out a long, soft whistle when the car came into view with Howie waving and tapping the horn. He pulled up to the curb, quickly handled the bags and jumped to help Shirley into the passenger seat, then showed David how to put the top down.
Smiling broadly but still feeling apprehensive at their meeting after so many months, Shirley got caught up in the beauty of the surroundings and the sleek new car. As they pulled away from the curb, she realized that Howie seemed like a new man, happier than she had ever seen him. His normally pale complexion was almost ruddy from the sun and his outfit, light blue slacks and a silky, white long-collared shirt with two buttons open at the neck, made him look like he was on vacation. His hair was longer too and Shirley noticed he blended in with all the other Florida people while she and David, with their dark clothes, appeared to be tourists.