Authors: Tracy St. John
Nur’s quiet voice was the only hint of any understanding, though the firm words told Falinset where the Imdiko stood on the matter. “We did the right thing, my Dramok. The only thing we could do.”
Wekniz turned his attention to practical matters. “Did you see anyone outside when you came in? Ket and his men suspect we’re hiding the princess and her cousin here.”
Falinset couldn’t answer him. His attention riveted on the females instead, the two individuals who would tear his clan apart. Even though his conscience had finally woken in the aftermath of his shock, even though he knew Wekniz and Nur had done the right thing, the agony of the situation challenged all that.
He focused on the woman, pain killing off any appreciation he might have enjoyed as he looked at her intelligent face and lush figure. Her pretty features spoke of recent trauma, but all Falinset could think of was what lay ahead for the two men who relied on his leadership. How could someone who looked so incapable of causing trouble be the reason his clan teetered on ruin?
Falinset hated himself for wanting to make the Earther and her ward disappear. Yet after all he’d done to keep trouble at a distance, he couldn’t help but speak harsh words to the woman. “Why did you have to come here? Why did you have to bring this to my door?”
She crooked a brow at him. Her lips tightened, and temper blazed from her eyes. She snapped, “I’m so sorry my being drugged and kidnapped has inconvenienced you. I apologize for being starved and threatened with rape and death. I beg your pardon for trying to get my three-year-old cousin to safety. I’m sorry all that has put a kink in your operation, Dramok.”
Shame walloped Falinset. Yet her warranted censure couldn’t lessen his dread of the coming doom. He groaned, knowing he’d never make this angry woman who’d been through so much understand his pain too. “I know it’s not your fault, Matara. I do. But if you knew what this will do to my clan – Mother of All, why is this happening to us?”
Wekniz said darkly, “It’s worse than all that, Falinset.”
Nur held his hand up to stop the Nobek from speaking. “I don’t think he can handle hearing the rest right now, my Nobek. At least let him absorb this shock.”
There was more? More than Maf working for the Basma, more than his blood father assisting in the abduction of the Princess of Kalquor? Falinset shook his head in disbelief, barking a bitter, hurt laugh.
He waved his arms wildly at his clanmates, pushed to his limits. “How could it get any worse? Go ahead, hit me with it. Let me hear how this incredible fuck-up of a situation can be worse than it already is. Because I don’t believe it can get more terrible. Go ahead, tell me.”
Wekniz told him. Falinset stared at him for a long time, trying and failing to absorb this final shock. At last, the horrific words ringing in his ears, the Dramok staggered blindly out of the room, unconscious of where his feet took him.
Falinset had been stricken blind and deaf, unaware of anything around him. It wasn’t until a powerful hand grabbed his arm and whirled him around that he returned to his senses. Vision flooded back, bringing him the sight of Wekniz and Nur’s worried faces.
Wekniz gave him a little shake. “Damn it, Falinset, snap out of it! We need our Dramok.”
Falinset looked around and realized he’d gone to their sleeping room. Light filtered in from the hallway, making the space shadowed, its contents dark silhouettes.
He didn’t remember leaving the common room or walking anywhere. It should have worried him that he’d taken leave of reality, but Falinset couldn’t find the will to care. All he knew was life had become a nightmare.
His father, Dramok Maf, was the Basma. The Empire’s biggest traitor. It was not knowledge Falinset wanted any part of.
An agonized moan welled from his throat. It was his turn to grab Wekniz and shake. “Why, my Nobek? Why did you have to go back there? Damn it, I told you not to!”
Wekniz was stoic under the reproach. “Because I want a life. I want Maf’s influence gone. I want us to be free to live for real.”
“Instead, the little pleasure we have is as good as gone.” The pit of Falinset’s stomach was heavy and painful as he tried to come to terms with harsh reality. “We’ll return the princess and her cousin to their family and she’ll tell them Maf is the Basma. That I am his son. The authorities will investigate me, making my life a living hell because they’ll look for any hint of complicity with his rebellion.”
“You are innocent of that, my Dramok.”
“So what?” Falinset’s personal future was the least of his worries. “They’ll capture Maf and he’ll tell them about your parent clans. They’ll go to prison for the rest of their days.” His voice rose as he yelled at Wekniz. “Explain to me how we’re supposed to have a life with all of that?”
Nur said, “Maybe Tasha won’t tell them you are blood kin to Maf. She seems reasonable. And brave. Look at what she did; escaping a containment field surrounded by armed Nobeks and saving the princess!”
Falinset acknowledged grudging respect for the Earther’s resourcefulness. He had little reason to resent Tasha for anything save what her presence meant to their lives. “That isn’t the point. Whether she mentions our connection to Maf or not, when he is outed he’ll be anything but silent. He will take his revenge on us all. We’ll be scrutinized by those loyal to the Imperial Clan and hunted by those who follow Maf. Nur, your fathers—”
Nur’s winced, and Falinset’s jaw snapped shut before he could say any more. His Imdiko knew too well what was at stake. Of them all, he had the most to lose.
Nur gathered himself and stared into Falinset’s eyes. In a tight voice he said, “I am not sorry Wekniz stepped in and helped. He did the honorable thing. He did the right thing. As must we all.”
In the midst of heartsickness, Falinset felt a glow of pride. Nur’s parents’ welfare and Wekniz’s honor were on the line, yet they were ready to sacrifice all for the sake of the innocent princess and Earther. They were determined to do right even though the cost was steep.
My greatest fear has been letting them down by letting our shame be exposed,
he thought. Yet they made it clear that not joining them in helping Princess Noelle and her cousin return home would be the Dramok’s greater failure.
The realization steadied Falinset. He’d been ready to go against his principles to keep Nur and Wekniz safe. He’d been so ready in fact, that it had been the only course of action he’d considered. It had been that detestable burden that had clouded his brain more than the shame of Maf’s ignoble activities. But if his clanmates needed to be noble, he was ready to stand up for their honor.
Falinset’s world had always been damaged. Now that they stood on the brink of its destruction, it was a relief to give in to the chaos. At least he’d get to keep the remains of his soul instead of hacking it away, piece by shameful piece.
He straightened, feeling the weight of pretended decency fall from his shoulders to make way for a more honest disgrace. With Nur and Wekniz ready to admit to their parent clan’s treachery and mistakes, Falinset could now lay claim to his own parents’ vile truth.
His clanmates blinked at the relief in his voice as Falinset said, “All right. Give me the breakdown of our situation. We need to figure out our next step.”
* * * *
Nur bustled around the guest room, setting it up for the princess and Tasha. He’d determined the sleeping mat required fresh linens, as the ones already on it smelled a little musty. It had been almost a year since anyone had used the room. Nur’s fathers, their last guests, didn’t like being far away from his mother. As for any other possible overnight visitors, Wekniz had no more use for his parent clan than Falinset had for his.
Nur shook his head at himself as he prepared the room. If not for the plight of his fathers, he thought Falinset and Wekniz might have gone ahead and exposed their parents’ misdeeds. More than once Wekniz had grumbled it was time to let things happen as they should. But one look at Nur and he stopped talking.
I’m the reason we’re so isolated. They carry on with our half-lives because they don’t want me to suffer.
The guilt and helpless fury Nur carried weighed on him constantly. But what could he do? It had come down to the fact that no matter what, they would all suffer. What differed was the degree of the punishment.
As always, the Imdiko felt like he was trapped in a maze with no way out. The more he let the problems rattle about in his mind, the angrier and more overwhelmed he became.
He steered his thoughts away from the never-ending problems and focused on the task at hand. Nur had the sleeping mat ready and little items of comfort readied soon for Tasha and Noelle.
With that accomplished, he went to the common room where the pair still rested on the lounger. Noelle continued to sleep, and Tasha watched the muted news vid that had the princess’s face splashed over the holo-feed. She smiled up at Nur as he entered.
“A little hard to catch up when you don’t have the sound on,” the Imdiko observed.
“Occasionally they put up bullet points of what they know about the abduction,” Tasha said. “My Kalquorian is passable enough that I can see they either don’t have much information or they’re not sharing it with the public.”
Nur eyed the moving vid that replaced Noelle’s still; it was footage of the child’s last birthday. She laughed in delight as Emperor Egilka escorted her while she rode on the back of a miniature kestarsh. She was adorable when she smiled, Nur thought. He’d have to think of some games to distract her until they could get her off Lobam.
“Your room is ready. I’ll carry her to bed,” he whispered to Tasha.
Nur picked the princess up, careful to not wake her. He looked at her rounded slumbering face, drawn and tinged with sadness despite having momentarily escaped the horrors of the last few days. No child should look like that, he thought with a flash of rage. Maf was a monster to have taken her.
With the little girl cradled in his arms, Nur led Tasha to the guest room. He placed Noelle on the bed, and Tasha fussed about tucking the princess in.
Nur offered Tasha a bow, sure she must be exhausted and ready for rest. “If either of you needs anything at all, let me know right away. I’ve put cups and snacks out here on the shelf.” He pointed to the bedside shelving case. “There is water and juice in the cooling unit—” he indicated the cube-shaped appliance next to the lounger across the room “—and extra covers in the closet should you get chilled.” He opened the closet to show her. “Don’t be afraid to look for me or simply yell if you want something.”
He was ready to leave when Tasha held up a hand. “I do want something, but let me ask you about it in the hall,” she said in a low voice.
Nur nodded and waited outside the door as she finished settling Noelle in. Dimming the lights but not turning them off all the way, she joined him.
She said, “I haven’t thanked any of you yet for hiding us.”
Nur waved the gratitude off, though he felt better to know he’d been of service. “No need. I am happy to have helped, as little as I’ve been able to offer.”
Tasha smiled up at him. Already lovely, her appeal increased a hundredfold with that soft expression. Nur’s stomach gave a little twist and he swallowed. He’d seen Earthers, but mostly on the vid. The few he’d seen up close had been fascinating to look upon. They came in a variety of shapes and colors, unlike the typically muscular brown-skinned, black-haired Kalquorians.
Tasha was one of the paler Earthers, her skin slightly bronzed the way the fair ones became when they spent time in the sun. Nur thought her hair was probably usually dark brown, but the sunbathing that had shaded her darker than nature intended had also brought out some gold highlights. Even hanging lank and untidy, he thought her hair pretty. It framed a face with rounded cheekbones, plump lips, and eyes of a disconcerting blue-green color. The color of Kalquor in the night sky.
From the way she’d dove into the meal Nur had made for her earlier, it had been clear that food had been in short supply during Tasha’s incarceration. Those couple of days of deprivation hadn’t taken away the roundness of her frame, however. Tasha looked soft and comfortable, a woman Nur thought would be exquisite to wrap his arms around and hold. It was impossible to look at those delicious curves and not have thoughts of how they’d feel against his skin.
He realized he’d been staring speechless at Tasha for several seconds. Nur cleared his throat and searched for something safe to say.
“Princess Noelle’s dress – I put it in our laundry system. It can be cleaned but I don’t think the water stains will come out. I’m sorry about that.”
Tasha dismissed his concerns with a graceful flick of her hand. “That dress is the least of my worries.”
“I imagine so.”
Nur ran out of things to discuss. Usually he could talk for ages without taking a breath, but with Tasha, he couldn’t come up with the first thing outside of the state of the princess’s clothing. But then, he didn’t get to talk to women often, especially if he discounted Feyom’s infrequent visits.
He almost laughed. One did not talk to Feyom. One listened to her insults and tuned out her badgering. The only thing Falinset’s mother had going for her was her looks. Even as pretty as she was, Nur wouldn’t have considered touching that bitch if Kalquor’s survival depended on it. Surface beauty counted for little as far as Nur was concerned. Feyom possessed none of the warmth Tasha had, that gorgeous inner quality that turned even the plainest faces into people everyone wanted to be around. Not that Tasha didn’t possess a great degree of attractiveness. She was beyond pleasant to look at, downright compelling, and Nur thought that if she was washed and primped—