Authors: Tracy St John
“You look fine,” he breathed, not wanting to believe.
“I don’t feel too bad either,” Pertak chuckled. “Most days, I stil feel perfectly good. But there are times when I’m so tired. My heart has slowed down, and my digestive system doesn’t work right any more. Al in al, however, it’s not such a horrible way to go.”
“But you’re stil so young. Only fifty-three.” With a lifespan of 250 years, Pertak was ridiculously young to be dying.
“’Time is a myth upon which we make plans not guaranteed to be’,” he quoted from the Book of Life. “My time has simply come earlier than most.”
“This wasn’t a chance meeting,” Krijero said slowly.
Pertak shook his head. “I didn’t dare approach you on your home turf, not with that protective Dramok and Nobek of yours. Not after what I did to you. Stil, I never expected you to stil be stinging from my clanning Rahed.”
“What was I supposed to feel, Pertak?” The old sense of humiliation and betrayal swept over Krijero. “Out of the blue the Dramok I knew since childhood, the man who I made plans with, suddenly tels me he’s clanned another Imdiko. No explanation of what I did wrong, no warning that there was a problem, nothing! And I stil don’t know what made you leave me!”
“You did nothing wrong, Krijero. The truth is, you were too good for me.” Pertak snorted bitter laughter. “The funny thing is, you might have elevated me to my ful potential, but al I saw was how hard it would be to be the Dramok you deserved. I was so stupid.”
“Wel, maybe I’m stupid too, because I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
Pertak sighed. “You’re far from stupid. As I neared clanning age, I realized how smart you were. How ambitious, motivated to succeed. I knew I couldn’t keep up.”
“Of course you could. You’re problem was you wanted everything to be easy.”
“I did.” Pertak’s gaze was far away, as if peering into the mists of time. “Plus, unlike you, I was just plain ambivalent about setting the wrongs of the world back to right. You started tempering your enthusiasm for your work because of me, Imdiko.”
Krijero opened his mouth to protest. He slowly closed it again. Under Pertak’s steady gaze, he flushed. “I could tel my going on and on about the advances in criminal psychology was irritating you.”
“Only because you were so driven, and I was – I just wanted to take it easy.” The Dramok frowned. “I was not the right clanmate for you, Krijero. You would have ended up hating me for holding you back.”
“Instead, I hate you for walking off without a word.”
Pertak winced. “You deserved better than that. But I did what I’ve always done … I took the easy way out. I found an Imdiko who wouldn’t be bothered by my lack of ambition, clanned him, and left you wondering what the hel happened.”
Krijero couldn’t look at him. He had to turn away. “Al those years, I thought I’d done something stupid. I knew I was physicaly and socialy awkward. I thought I’d embarrassed you to the point where you couldn’t stand to be around me. Damn it, you made me think I wasn’t good enough!”
“I’m sorry, Krijero. I was the fool, not you. I was the one not good enough.”
“So now I’m supposed to forgive you.” The Imdiko hated the bitterness in his own voice, especialy with Pertak dying. But he couldn’t help it. Al those years of feeling unworthy of others’ affection rushed back at him. Even clanning with Gelan, Wynhod, and Dani hadn’t fuly erased that sense of being undeserving.
“I don’t rate your forgiveness, especialy now that I know it affected you for so long. I only came to give you the explanation you were due and the apology that I didn’t tel you why.”
“But you’re not sorry you clanned another?” Krijero faced him again.
Pertak gave him a wistful smile, a strange expression for such strong, broad features to display. “Perhaps I’m sorry for myself, though I have been content with my Imdiko. But after seeing how protective your Dramok and Nobek are of you, I feel I owe no apology for us not clanning. They see your worth. I bet they push you to do your best, the way you used to try to push me.” Krijero took a breath. “I am never in doubt they have my best interests at heart.”
“You definitely got the men you deserve, better men than I ever hoped to be.”
“Yes, he did. Why are you stil here?” came Wynhod’s feral snarl from behind Krijero.
He turned to see his clanmates, both covered in blood. He hoped little of it was their own. “Dani’s in surgery.” The pair stopped snarling at Pertak to reflect their concern. “Tel us,” Gelan said.
Krijero gave them the frightening news. It took the last of the threat out of the men, worry replacing everything else.
The four waited in silence after that. Krijero’s clanmates bothered Pertak no more while time dragged by in stretched seconds, elongated minutes, eternal hours. No further words were spoken until Szrlishk came out to give them the news.
* * * *
Now he looked out over the valey beneath the mountain within which Gelan’s clan made their home. Down there was mostly farmland, falow now that winter approached, the soil as rich brown as Dani’s eyes.
The Imdiko shed a few tears as he stood on the polished stone floor of the balcony, thinking of lost potential, lost opportunities. Lost loved ones.
“You should have gone to the funeral.”
He swalowed. The lump in his throat refused to budge. “I couldn’t. It was just too much to stand.”
“The closure would have helped, I think.” Arms circled his waist, held him tight.
“It was over on Joshada. Everything that could be done was done. Everything that could be said was spoken.” He believed that. Nonetheless, yesterday’s cal from Imdiko Rahed had set off an avalanche of painful emotion. Pertak had succumbed to the ilness. He was gone.
Krijero turned to take Dani in his arms. She smiled up at him, stil the loveliest creature he knew despite the healing scars of her latest surgery. The livid half circle cut, denoting where her scalp had been opened, was garish against the fair skin. It made him sad to see a large chunk of her pretty copper hair missing near the left temple. “How’s the head?”
“Bald. Lumpy. Looking like a jigsaw puzzle.” She snorted.
He cupped her chin, tilting her head for a better look. “The sweling from the bone replacement is going down fast. Next week’s pigmentation procedure wil make the scar disappear like it had never existed. And your hair wil grow back.”
“Maybe I should just go with a mohawk like Wynhod.” She roled her eyes theatricaly, teling him she wanted to pout about not looking her best. Stop trying to cheer me up, her expression said.
Wel, they were both in the mood to walow in gloominess then. Krijero wrapped his arms around Dani’s shoulders and bent his face into the stil thick portion of her hair.
I have no reason to feel so melancholy. My Matara is alive and recovering well. I have the best Dramok and Nobek I could wish for. We are all healthy. My life is good.
So why were tears filing his eyes again? “Damn him,” Krijero muttered.
Dani’s arms tightened around him. “It’s easier to hold a grudge, isn’t it? Better to be angry than sad.” He had to smile at that. His Matara knew his pain better than anyone, having dealt with rejection from her own family. He’d watched her storms rage and tears fal as she waded through mourning a mother and father who had let their selfish concerns eclipse appreciating the daughter they’d been gifted with. Now it was his turn to walk through the revolving door of loss and anger.
“They both suck,” he replied, using her vernacular to make her laugh.
“How would you like to take a break from your worries?” she invited, rubbing her delectable body against his. He was hard in an instant.
He gave her a growl that made her face light up in a naughty grin. Picking Dani up, Krijero carried her into her sitting room, where a large couch awaited them.
While Dani’s tastes could be extravagant and her clan al too often wiling to spoil her, she’d created a space that was cozy with invitation. Big comfortable chairs to accommodate her men were arranged across from the plush lounging couch, creating a conversation circle. There was a much larger sitting room located in the clan’s shared public space, but for some reason they always seemed to congregate here instead, where deep purples, blues, and greens made the room both rich and restful.
As Krijero laid her down, Dani switched off her computer that waited on the couch, moving the flat disc to the handcarved wooden table nearby. Before it blinked off, Krijero saw the article she’d been reading about Earther Mataras who’d been victims of violent crime. One good thing about Hetra’s attack on her was that it had finaly given the ambivalent Dani a direction to focus her energies. She’d begun giving lectures to law enforcement on the subject, her battered yet beautiful visage riveting even the most jaded officers. Her harrowing story galvanized her audiences to enact policies that made victim care a priority with not just medics, but the police officers themselves. Not only that, but the prison system had undergone changes. Now if an inmate escaped, putting protections on those most likely to be victims of revenge took precedence.
Wynhod should have been informed of Hetra’s escape as a matter of professional courtesy. That Dani, the fertile Matara of a law enforcement officer, had suffered for the oversight had become fodder for raging debate. She had taken an uncharacteristicaly philosophical view of the whole affair.
“I lived. Someone else might not have. So if getting my ass kicked al over Joshada saves a life or two, it wil be worth it,” she’d told her clan.
As much as Krijero hated to find good out of his beloved being nearly kiled, he had to admit the experience had given Dani the maturity she so desperately needed. Sites al over the Kalquorian Empire were inviting her to speak to their law enforcement entities, to give hardened cops a view into what it was like to be vulnerable. Dani’s speeches were poignant enough to make even Nobeks blink overbright eyes. Krijero’s Matara was coming into her own at last, and her clan glowed with pride at Dani’s accomplishments.
Best of al, she was finding a sense of self worth that had been lacking for too long. Krijero’s heart sweled with joy as he crouched over her on the wide cushions that supported their shared weight.
“What’s that look for?” Dani asked, stroking his face. “Not that I’m complaining to see a smile on your face.”
“Just thinking I’m the luckiest Imdiko alive to have you.”
She didn’t laugh at his awkward sappiness. She never did. Instead, Dani’s face went soft, teling Krijero she how much she appreciated the unrestrained adoration. “You are too good for me, Krijero.” He lowered his face to kiss her.
* * * *
When his lips met hers, Dani’s tongue crept out to taste the softness of his lips. Those lips parted so his tongue could meet hers, tasting hesitantly at first then sweeping into her mouth to plunder with an almost desperate need.
Usualy Dani liked to test her mates’ dominance. The three men insisted on being in absolute control when it came to intimacy. She didn’t lie to herself that she loved making them force her to their sexual whims. Their bedroom battles delighted her to no end. She adored feeling their strength as they held her down and swatted her backside like she was a naughty child, forcing her to behave. Headier stil was when they withheld climax until she was nearly out of her mind with need, making her beg piteously for release.
When it came to being an alpha male, Krijero was every bit as demanding of her sexual acquiescence as their Nobek. Being placed in hover cuffs and suspended in the air for a spanking from Krijero when she was bratty was a heady mixture of dread and delight for Dani.
But as he kissed her with aching demand, his cocks straining against his pants in eagerness to break through to her, she went pliant to him. She made soft helpless sounds in her throat, and her hands on his shoulders were tentative and weak. Krijero growled to feel her surrender.
His hands were on her breasts, rubbing them roughly over her dress bodice. She writhed a little beneath him, her nipples hardening at the commanding touch. His; she was al his, unable to deny him anything he might wish of her. Her arms drifted up lazily into the air to land on the plush cushion over her head, her wrists crossed as if bound.
Krijero’s fists clutched her colar, puling at the seam down the front of her bodice which opened with only the barest of resistance, baring her to her waist. He eyed Dani’s naked torso like a starved wolf.
His mouth opened, and the fangs folded to the roof of his mouth descended. Dani’s breath caught, knowing what would come next.
He struck like a rattlesnake, his head a blur as it descended to her breast. The fangs slid into the upper part of the tiny mound, impaling her soft flesh with twin darts of pain. Dani cried out but did not move. The jabs numbed in an instant, and she lay completely submissive as the holow fangs fed intoxicant into her system.
While Krijero sent the sweet euphoric substance into her body, his long-fingered hand massaged the other breast. He tweaked the sensitive nipple, forcing a groan from her. His mouth and hand were hot, almost scalding. His touch seared deep.
Now the glow of rapture spread throughout her body, making Dani helpless with drunken compliance. Her body grew heavy, a leaden weight affixed to the couch. She truly was without power now, unable to stop Krijero from doing as he pleased with her. With a contented sigh, she dove into the delightful surrender, free of al responsibility. Her only task would be to folow her lover’s commands. She didn’t have to think, she didn’t have to worry. Everything was in the Imdiko’s capable hands now.