Authors: Lindsay Blanc
Chapter Three
Alaina’s new stepfather was a tall guy with a thin build, but a face structured like he knew how to survive, with his long, downturned nose and his high cheekbones. He wore thick glasses and didn’t quite work the salmon plaid button down he had chosen to wear.
She didn’t want to be rude, but she was consumed by him. There was something about those almond-colored eyes that looked oddly familiar. Just looking at him reminded her of Cajun Field, of hot dogs and beer. She could see him in one of those short alley ways right next to the restrooms, with his back to her. She could see a thin woman’s legs wrapped around his waist…
Alaina grimaced at that thought.
She looked back down at her barely-touched plate of breakfast food. She could feel her admirer, a man she recently learned was called Keith, watching her every move. He had a heavily-lidded tattoo of an eye on his neck. It bobbed up and down every time he swallowed.
“Joanna, this is magnificent.” He said, shooting Alaina’s mother a smile.
Her mother beamed from ear to ear, her nose becoming even oilier in the light of her bashful blush. “Thanks, honey.” She leaned into him, her pink, glossy lips already puckered.
Alaina looked away from them in avoidance of the kiss, accidentally locking eyes with Keith. She stared at him, internally kicking herself for not having him when she had the chance.
What had she been thinking, denying his advances? Now that he was about to be completely off limits, she couldn’t deny the way her heart fluttered because he was less than a foot away from her.
Her giggling parents served as a backdrop to a nonverbal exchange that felt too intimate to be happening at the dinner table. She was so enthralled in Keith that she hardly noticed when her mother stopped laughing and they became the center of attention once again.
“Do you two know each other?” Jeb’s voice cut right through Alaina’s thoughts.
Keith was the first to look away. “Uh…”
“No.” Alaina said.
Jeb let out a hearty chuckle before taking a gulp of his wine. “Oh, Cabernet is divine.” He said. “So where did y’all meet?” he asked.
Alaina’s eyes went wide at this. It was one thing to put out a quick lie when asked the question a first time, but she felt odd repeating herself again, especially when she had already been caught in it. “Oh, well…” Empty space filled her head.
“It’s no big deal, Dad. I only saw her last night.”
“But you were at Lipstick last night,” He countered.
Alaina cocked her head to one side. Was going to strip clubs some sort of family activity? She flipped her gaze back and forth between Jeb and Keith. What could have possibly possessed Keith to tell his dad that he went to a strip club? How drunk must Jeb have been to display this knowledge to everyone else at the table?
“You go to strip clubs?” Ma wasn’t even trying to hide her disbelief.
Jeb jabbed his finger at Alaina. “
You
go to strip clubs?”
Alaina’s eyes went wide. Her mother would literally skin her alive if she found out how she was managing to save up all that money for school. “No?”
But Jeb let out another one of his obnoxious chuckles. He twiddled his fork in-between his fingers as he said, “You know you can tell us if you’re a dike.”
Alaina nearly choked on the small bit of egg still in her mouth.
“Jeb!” Mother grabbed his hand, but he shrugged it off, that gleam still in his eyes.
Alaina slouched down in her chair, half of her wondering how she was going to get out of this without pretending to be lesbian and the other half of her dying to know where her mother had found this worthless piece of bigotry.
“Are you?” Jeb asked.
Alaina looked up to find everyone staring at her. Keith’s grimace gave Alaina the distinct feeling that he was looking down on her. Jeb’s eyes were wide and his lips pursed as he leaned over the table at her, while a deep frown darkened mother’s face because there was no right answer to that question.
Jeb didn’t even wait for her response. “Well that’ll be fun… a dike in the family.”
“She’s not a goddamn dike.” Keith said, slamming his fork into his plate.
Alaina took a deep breath, settling for some sort of half-truth. “Look, I work there… as a waitress.”
Her mother’s eyes remained fixated on her the whole meal.
It wasn’t until they had finished their meal and Joanna had coerced Alaina into helping her clean up in the kitchen that the subject was even brought up again.
“When were you gonna tell me you work at a titty bar?” she asked, keeping her voice low on account of the fact that Keith and Jeb were waiting just in the other room.
Alaina sucked in a deep breath, pumping soap onto her sponge. “It’s not a titty bar.”
Her mother slammed a plate into the sink.
Alaina flinched, then moved it out of the way. “I just needed the money. You know these backwoods bars aren’t gonna pay nothin’.”
Her mother came back to the sink, leaning against it. She was so close, Alaina could smell the cheap perfume coming off of her skin. “What’d you gotta have all that money for anyway?”
Alaina continued to pump the soap, her palm assaulting the dispenser. “You know I’m tryin’a go to college.”
Her mother’s eyes were wide with horror.
Alaina had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at this gross overreaction.
She then turned away, letting out one low, weak sob. “I can’t believe my own daughter is selling her breasts for money just so she can leave me.”
“Jesus, Ma. This isn’t about you.”
“That’s beside the point.” She said, dropping another plate into the sink.
Alaina tried her best to contain her anger, but the longer she stood there in that kitchen with that woman who would rather have her stay in the house for the rest of her life than actually make something of herself, the angrier she got. “Why? Because you still think it is?”
“You are breakin’ my heart, Alaina.”
At that point, Alaina had pressed the soap dispenser so hard that a huge puddle of the stuff had built up on her sponge. She let it drop into the sink, sighing to herself as she placed her red, sore hand under the faucet. “I’m making something of myself.”
But her mother shook her head. “I failed with you. I really did.”
Chapter Four
Frida followed Alaina into the dressing room as soon as she arrived at Lipstick. Frida tied her long hair up into a bun at the top of her head and slammed into a seat right across from her. Alaina tried to ignore her curiosity.
She had one stage performance to do and then she’d be done, so she went over it in her head over and over again. She had the counts down to the second and worked it into her muscle-memory so that once she got out there, the only thing she needed to concentrate on was her mindset.
But Frida made that impossible. “So what the fuck am I hearin’ about Jeb bein’ Keith’s daddy?”
Alaina pursed her lips and nodded. “Yup. That’s on you, Frida. You set me up with my stepbrother.”
Frida ducked her head. “Okay. First of all, you two obviously like each other and second of all, you haven’t been in a relationship since before I even knew you and I just wanted to see you loosen up for once.” She said, playfully slapping Alaina on the shoulder.
Alaina flinched at her touch. “I’m not having this conversation with you.” She said as she heard the first few beats of her song blare out on the loudspeaker. She stood up and pressed her way through the other girls in the dressing room. Her head felt like a million pounds because it carried the weight of all of those worries. She couldn’t believe her mother was getting married to a man Alaina felt uncomfortable sitting in the same room with, let alone calling her father.
Yet, as soon as she took her first whiff of that smoke and liquor out on that stage, she felt a million times lighter. She clasped the pole with her hand. It was a new dance she had been working on, something she had practiced before opening while the bartenders mopped the floors, something she had thought about in passing while driving around running her errands.
As her heart started to beat in time with the baseline of her song, she could feel the crowd breathing with her. Their shouts and cheers energized her performance, driving her on right to the very end. By the time she was naked and had dropped into her final pose, she felt completely relaxed. That is, until she opened her eyes and saw that face in the smoke.
***
“I am tellin’ you, I don’t wanna hear it.” Alaina said, walking as fast as she could through the crowd to get outside. After her dance, she had hastily wiped the most ridiculous aspects of her makeup off of her face and thrown a t-shirt and jeans over her lingerie. She had almost made it out of the door before Keith managed to stop her.
“Will you just listen for one goddamn second?” he asked just as she stepped outside.
Alaina sucked in the buckets of the relatively fresh air to try to get that scent of smoke and alcohol out of her throat. “That’s all you’ve got before I punch you in the face for havin’ the gall to approach me after everything that’s happened.”
Keith huffed out a breath. “Are you really gonna blame me for assumin’ that you
weren’t
lyin’ to your mother about your job?”
Alaina’s eyes went wide as she threw her arms up in exasperation. “I’m a stripper! Of course I’m lying to my ma!”
Keith, his confidence a perfect ten, reached out to her, placing his hands on each of her shoulders.
Alaina clamped her jaw shut, gulping down the lump in her throat. She liked the way that felt—his skin against hers. She liked it a little too much.
“Well, I’m not judgin’ you,” He said.
Alaina felt oddly comforted by this. “I guess that’s a good thing considerin’ your dad thinks I’m gay… not that there’s anythin’ wrong with that…” She wanted to say something else, but the doors of the club pushed open and a group of rambunctious men came stumbling out. She scoffed, shaking her head at them. “It’s impossible to talk here.”
“Do you want to go somewhere else? Somewhere quiet?”
Alaina’s gut reaction was a whole-hearted acceptance, but she couldn’t bring herself to say that out loud. A small, resilient part of her didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
“Come on,” he said, flashing her a crooked smile. “I’m a biker. I got a bike. Let’s go.”
Alaina pursed her lips, but nodded anyway. It was a good night, the air crisp and the wind generous. Yes, her head was full and yes, she was exhausted, but she couldn’t deny the way her heart throbbed for him. And as she pondered, her thoughts heavy with things like marriage and Jeb, she could think of no one she more wanted to talk about this with than Keith.
She’d beat herself up if she didn’t at least take this chance.
So, they crossed the parking lot. Now that Alaina had decided to go on this ride with him, he seemed much more relaxed. He spouted out phrases about the year and make of his bike and complained about the foggy weather, but Alaina wasn’t listening. She spent all of her brain power trying to convince herself that this was nothing but a ride between two people who would soon be brother and sister.
Alaina wrapped her hands around his waist, noting how toned his core felt against her arms. Once he got the engine up and drove out of the parking lot, she pressed her head into his shoulder.
Alaina closed her eyes. There was something mystical about being on that bike with that man in the middle of the night like that. The moon hung high in the sky, casting its silver light down on the two of them. A smile played on her lips and the wind sifted through her thick dark hair, as if to cleanse it of all the smoke and sweat that had coated it over the course of the night.
Eventually, he turned off of the main road and drove into a clearing that broke up a patch of forestry. “What is this?” Alaina asked as she swung her leg over the side of the bike and stood up, wincing at the ache in her crotch.
“My place. I’ve been coming here since I was a kid.” Keith said, joining her in the center of the clearing. He went right for the pit of ash and stone that sat off to the left.
“Why?” she asked as she watched him fill it with the wood that had been stacked off to the side. Alaina wondered how he could have kept all of this stuff here without any of it being disturbed.
He just let out a dry laugh. “If you had a childhood like mine, you’d understand.” He replied.
“And what childhood was that?” Alaina asked.
He motioned for her to sit down in front of the pile of wood. “You met my dad.”
She pursed her lips as she tried to find a comfortable spot on the damp ground. “Yeah, well, my mom is apparently in love with him. So…”
Keith picked up a piece of wood and lit it on fire, throwing it in with the rest of them. “That don’t mean nothin’… I was in love with him once.”
A smile stretched across Alaina’s face as she peered at him through the firelight. “What do you mean, you were in love with him?”
“He’s always been the only thing I had.”
“No mom?”
He leaned towards her, placing an arm behind her. He was so close to her, she could smell the scent of pine cones and must coming off of him. “She left us when I was about ten.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Alaina knew far too well what it felt like when a parent didn’t love you enough to stay.
He shook his head as if to brush it off. “It’s nothin’. They never got along anyway.”
Alaina nodded.
Keith reached into his back pocket, pulling out a cigarette and nudging her with it.
She shook her head. “I’m good. That shit’s unhealthy.”
He let out a chuckle as he lit it. “The health-conscious stripper.”
Alaina flashed him a severe look. “I’m not just a stripper.” She said.
He held both of his palms up in defense. “Yeah. Yeah.”
Alaina shook her head, looking away from him, but noting how he had artfully moved that much closer to her in the interim.
“It was weird anyway. Ever since that girl got killed…”
“Bethany?”
Keith nodded. “Yeah. Shit got weird after that. My dad, he just… he didn’t take it well.”
“So, if you’re so in love with your dad, why do you spend all your time on the road?”
“I love my dad, but he’s a shit father. You probably already noticed he’s an asshole. I don’t know why your mom would throw herself into all that.”
Alaina scoffed. “I don’t know either.”
“I guess I can’t complain. I dropped out of high school and ran away as soon as I could anyway.”
Alaina furrowed her brow. “Where did you go?”
“I had a friend. A best friend. He was in a gang, wanted me to be in the gang… so I left with him… now he’s dead.” Keith’s voice broke a little at the end.
Alaina’s eyes went wide. For the first time, she saw something more than an incredibly attractive guy wrapped in tattoos with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. “How?”
“Shooting out in Texas.”
She nodded. Maybe it was the moonlight, or the fire, or the mere fact that she was bat shit tired, but she let her head fall on his shoulder. It was comforting, feeling his strong body under hers. “I’m so sorry about all that.”
“Yeah me too.”
Keith threw his cigarette into the fire and wrapped his arms around Alaina. She gazed into the fire, trying her best not to think too hard. When she did that, when she let her mind wander beyond the moment right in front of her, it would conjure up images of people and things. She’d be back at Cajun Field again walking through a sea of peanut shells…
“I don’t think my dad is right for Joanna.” Keith murmured.
Alaina gave an eager nod. “Oh God, Keith. No one’s right for her.” But the light breeze carried that last word away. She burrowed her face into Keith’s chest, soaking every bit of him in. Her heart pounded for him, her stomach fluttered for him. She wanted him with every fiber in her being.
He held her tighter and tighter, his chin resting on the crown of her head, then his lips pressing against her forehead, then her cheeks, and then her chin. Under the crackle of the flame and the glow of the moon, Alaina could think of no reason to refuse him.
His hand found its way to her chin, tilting it up towards him, but she closed her eyes. She was afraid that if she looked at him, if she saw the desire in his gaze, she could never look at him again without her heart throbbing with longing.
He hovered there, his lips barely brushing against hers, his breath washing over her face. Her mouth watered in anticipation.
In anticipation.
In anticipation.
But just as they touched, just as she began to melt, he pulled away.