All About the Hype (6 page)

Johnny finds us in the kitchen, nursing mugs of tea with a mound of tissues piled up on the table between us.

‘Hey,’ he says, looking absolutely gutted. ‘Sam said you were in here.’

‘Sorry I ran out,’ I mumble.

‘No, I’m sorry I pushed you. I’m
really
sorry,’ he says, stressing the word.

‘Does everyone think I’ve lost the plot?’ I ask miserably.

‘Nah.’ He shakes his head. ‘I don’t think anyone even noticed you were upset. They just thought you were making a dramatic exit.’

I stare at the wall in a daze.

‘Your song went down really well,’ he says sincerely, before his expression morphs back into one of guilt. ‘Not that I imagine that’s foremost in your mind right
now.’

‘No, but thanks.’

‘Your friends are wondering where you are,’ he says gently.

‘I bet they’re knackered with the time difference.’ It’s the early hours of Sunday morning in the UK so they’ve effectively been up all night.

‘We should be going to the hotel soon,’ Stu concedes, as it dawns on me that if I were in England, the anniversary of Mum’s death would have already passed.

‘Can I come with you?’ I ask Stu in a small voice, looking at him first and then at Johnny.

Stu looks at Johnny, too. I dry my fresh tears with another tissue and notice my poor rock-star dad is looking decidedly jaded.

‘You can if you want, chick,’ he says heavily. ‘I’ll get Annie to make you a reservation.’

‘No, don’t bother her this late,’ I say. It must be after eleven. ‘I’ll crash with Libby or Nat. I’m sure they have a sofa or something.’

Johnny nods, staring morosely at the table.

‘You don’t mind, do you?’ I ask him, getting to my feet unsteadily.

‘Of course not,’ he says gruffly, standing up also. He seems a bit awkward, like he wants to give me a hug, but doesn’t really know how. After all, my stepdad was the one I
turned to when I needed support. I cringe as I realise this – it was automatic, because I was thinking about Mum.

‘I’ll go and get everyone together,’ I say quietly.

‘I’ll do that,’ Johnny says.

‘I’ll help,’ Stu adds, standing up.

‘OK.’ I squeeze Johnny’s arm as I leave the room. I still call him Johnny most of the time – ‘Dad’ doesn’t come naturally to me. We’ve still got a
long way to go before we feel like a proper father and daughter. The thought of this makes me pine for Stu and I’m crushed at the thought of him leaving tomorrow. I hurry away before my
emotions can take over again.

A knock on one of the floor-to-ceiling windows catches my attention as I walk back through the open-plan living room. I turn to see Jack standing outside on the terrace.

‘It’s just Jack,’ I tell Sam, who’s already on his way to the glass door. ‘I want to talk to him.’ I move past Sam and slide the door open, stepping into the
cool night. Jack has moved away from the window and is now a silhouette outlined by the lights of LA in the distance.

‘Hey,’ he says, lifting his right hand to his mouth. He takes a drag from the cigarette he’s holding and, for a couple of seconds, his face is bathed in amber light. ‘I
was worried about you,’ he says, exhaling.

‘Were you?’

‘You sound surprised.’

‘I am a bit,’ I admit. ‘I thought you were mad at me.’

He leaves a long pause before answering. ‘I’m not mad.’ He walks over to one of the ashtrays and stubs out his cigarette. ‘But I’d really like to take you somewhere
private so I can remind you why you chose me over him.’

Butterflies crowd my stomach and I’m rooted to the spot as he slowly walks towards me.

‘I don’t need reminding,’ I murmur, as his hands slide round my waist. My head tingles as he bends down and presses his lips to my neck.

‘Are you sure?’ he asks in a low voice, thick with meaning.

‘I’m sure,’ I whisper, as he kisses my jaw. A little sigh escapes me and then his mouth is on mine.

He kisses me passionately, his fingers tangling in my hair at the nape of my neck as his tongue invades my mouth. I grab his shoulders for support as my knees turn to jelly.

‘JACK! ARE YOU THERE?’

He breaks away immediately and puts some distance between us as Brandon emerges from the side of the house.

‘I knew I’d find you out back with a girl,’ he teases, rolling his eyes at me.

I realise he wouldn’t be reacting this jovially if he’d caught us kissing. Wait, he
expected
to find Jack making out with someone else? Great.

‘Maisie wants to leave,’ Brandon tells us. ‘Why didn’t you stick around for your encore?’ he asks me.

‘She was a bit upset, dude. Let it go,’ Jack says.

‘Upset?’ Brandon looks confused.

He probably doesn’t even know the significance of today – we may be bandmates, but we’re not properly friends yet.

He shrugs. ‘It’s your party, I guess.’

‘Yep, and I can cry if I want to.’ I force light-heartedness into my tone and turn back to Jack. ‘Listen, I’m going to go and stay with my friends at the hotel
tonight.’

He looks instantly alarmed, but he can’t get into a conversation about it in front of Brandon.

‘Do you know where Agnes is?’ My eyes dart between the two boys. ‘I want to say goodbye.’

‘She’s with Brett,’ Brandon reveals.

‘Brett?’ I say with surprise. I didn’t realise he was even here tonight. Brett is the Aussie guy Agnes almost lost her virginity to when we were in San Francisco. She’s
known him since she was ten, but he went back to Australia a couple of years ago and is only in California on holiday.

‘Yeah, she invited him along. She didn’t think you’d mind,’ Jack explains.

‘Of course I don’t.’ She’s probably been pining for him since she’s been in Washington. ‘Do you guys think you could track her down for me, though? I want to
thank her again for tonight before I leave, but I don’t really want to face anyone else.’

‘Sure,’ Brandon says.

‘See you soon,’ I say, stepping in to give him a hug.

‘Band practice this week,’ he reminds me.

‘I’m looking forward to it.’ I turn back to Jack. ‘I’m going to go and pack my overnight stuff.’

I can tell he’s frustrated at not being able to talk openly.

‘Let me drive you to the hotel,’ he says, giving me a meaningful look.

‘No, it’s OK. I’ll go on the bus with the others.’

He stares at me for a long moment, then turns to his bandmate. ‘Dude, can you go make a start on finding Agnes?’

Brandon gives him a weird look, then shrugs and sets off back round the side of the house. As soon as he’s out of earshot, Jack turns to me again.

‘Let me drive you,’ he says firmly.

‘Fine,’ I reply, relenting. I was kind of looking forward to getting back on the warm, safe bus with my friends, but I don’t want to piss him off any more tonight.

Jack is parked on the road outside, so we agree to meet by the bus so we can walk up the super-long drive together.

My friends are already waiting by the time I make it outside with my overnight things. The party is still in full swing in the igloo and I feel a pang of guilt that I’m leaving Johnny to
deal with everyone.

‘Are you sure you don’t mind me going?’ I ask him when I find him talking to Stu. He doesn’t even have Meg here for company because she took the boys to stay at a
friend’s house so they wouldn’t be disturbed by the noise.

‘Of course not,’ he replies gruffly. ‘I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?’

‘Not too early. I might have breakfast with my friends.’

‘You’re all welcome back here afterwards. They’re not flying out until the afternoon.’

‘I wish they didn’t have to go at all.’

He looks disheartened as his shoulders slump. ‘Sorry, chick, the weekend was the best I could do. They’ve got to be back for school.’

‘I know. And I really do appreciate it,’ I tell him sincerely, squeezing his arm.

He gives me a small smile as he pulls me in for a hug.

‘Jack’s giving me a lift to the hotel, by the way.’ I throw that casually in there as we step back from each other.

His eyes widen. ‘What? Why aren’t you catching the bus?’

‘Please don’t make a fuss,’ I beg. ‘He wants to drive me.’

‘Follow directly behind the bus, then,’ he commands, and I get the feeling I could get away with pretty much anything tonight if I asked. ‘No detours.’

‘I promise,’ I declare.

‘The bus driver will drop you at Jack’s car,’ Johnny adds, getting onto the bus to tell the driver before I can object.

‘Are you OK?’ Agnes asks cautiously, appearing with Jack. ‘Jack said you’ve been upset.’

‘It’s been a strange day, but I’ll talk to you later. We’ve got a lot to catch up on!’

‘On that note, Tuesday, after school,’ she states. ‘You, me, Jack, Brett, let’s go for a coffee to celebrate your first day.’

I smile at her. ‘That’s a perfect idea.’

We give each other a hug and I thank her again for the dress, the make-overs and all of the organising she did, not to mention how she took me under her wing earlier and introduced me to
everyone under the sun. School is going to be far less frightening, thanks to her.

Finally I turn to Jack.

He doesn’t look enthralled with the small change in our plans, especially as a hush falls over my friends when we board the bus.

‘Jack’s giving me a lift to my hotel,’ I explain. ‘The driver’s dropping us at his car.’

Natalie edges over to make room for us, but you could cut the tension in the air with a knife as we sit down. Tom stares at Jack blackly from the other side of the table. Jack looks away,
seemingly nonplussed, though I’m guessing he’s anything but.

‘Are you cool with me crashing on your floor?’ I ask, looking at Libby, Lou, Natalie and Em in turn. I don’t care whose room I sleep in, I’m just trying to break this
awkward silence.

They all gush that of course it’s absolutely fine, and there are two double beds in Libby and Lou’s room, and I can have one of them, and I’m barely even listening because
Tom’s jaw is twitching and his hands have flexed into fists on the table.

Jack abruptly gets to his feet and walks down the length of the bus to talk to the driver. A few moments later, the bus slows to a stop.

‘See you guys in a bit,’ I say apprehensively. The doors whoosh open and I follow Jack off.

He looks livid as he points his key at his dark-grey Audi A3. The lights flash as the doors unlock and he opens the door for me, standing back to let me climb inside. He slams the door behind me
and I flinch as he goes round to his door. The bus hasn’t set off yet, and I’m all too aware that my friends may be watching.

Jack keeps his eyes forward as he starts up the ignition and pulls away from the kerb.

‘That was fun,’ he mutters sarcastically.

‘You should’ve let me go with them, then,’ I state with annoyance.

‘Just tell me one thing,’ he says forcefully, glancing at me. ‘Should I be worried about Tom?’

‘No!’ I exclaim, shocked. How could someone as cool and confident as Jack feel threatened?

‘Because if I was going out with someone who screwed me over, I sure as hell wouldn’t fly across the Atlantic at her beck and call.’

‘Well, that’s just it, isn’t it?’ I snap. ‘You’ve never had a proper relationship with anyone, so how the hell would you know what lengths you’d go to
for someone you really cared about? And he
does
care for me, Jack! We were friends first, and he knows how hard today was going to be for me. My mum died a year, a year—’ My
voice breaks and my throat swells and suddenly I can’t finish my sentence.

He roughly shoves his hair back from his face in frustration as he senses where this is going. ‘I’m sorry,’ he mutters, but it’s too late. I let out a sob. ‘Oh,
God,’ he murmurs, his anger evaporating as he places his hand on my knee and I proceed to cry my heart out. He pulls over to the side of the road and wrenches his handbrake on, then turns and
takes me in his arms, stroking my hair as I snot all over his black shirt.

A little voice inside me wonders if this is putting him off, if this is too heavy for him, but another voice shouts over it that if it is, so be it.

This is me. This is part of who I am.

‘My dad’s going to go ape-shit if you don’t follow the bus,’ I mumble eventually, my voice muffled against his shoulder.

He reluctantly lets me go and starts the car.

I dry my eyes and blow my nose on a tissue from my overnight bag and then cast him a long look as he takes off down the winding hill. He still seems very apprehensive, but he’s no longer
mad.

‘Do you wanna talk about it?’ he asks carefully after a while.

‘What, my mum?’

‘Yeah.’ He swallows. ‘You’ve never really talked about her. How did she…’

‘Die?’

He nods, his expression tense.

‘She went out to buy my birthday cake and the glass from a fourth-storey window fell onto the pavement where she was walking.’

‘Jesus.’ He exhales heavily.

I want to tell him about the cake, that Mum had saved up to get it from a more expensive shop than we could usually afford, but Jack comes from a wealthy rock-star family himself, so I doubt
he’d understand what it meant to me. His dad, Billy Mitchell, was the lead singer of Casino Girl, so Jack has more in common with Jessie Jefferson, my new self, than with Jessie Pickerill and
my past.

Jack takes my hand and brings it to rest on his thigh as he drives, giving it a squeeze before reaching for his iPhone in the centre console. He turns it on and starts searching for
something.

‘You shouldn’t be messing with that while you’re driving,’ I scold.

‘It’s OK, I got it,’ he replies. ‘Something to cheer you up,’ he adds, as The Wombats’ ‘Greek Tragedy’ starts to play.

I smile across at him as he taps out the drumbeat on the steering wheel. The Wombats are one of my favourite bands and they always take me to a happy place.

I swivel to face him, feeling a bit better as I lean my cheek against the cool leather of the seat.

‘Can you play the drums?’ I ask, watching him.

He nods, but doesn’t stop singing along.

‘That’s cool.’