All Access (Brothers of Rock #1) (rockstar contemporary romance) (6 page)

Johnnie looked in the mirror and Jess stared at his reflection, and her own. 

“What’s normal?” Jess asked.  “You went and found my book today, didn’t you?”

“But that doesn’t mean I’m acting different around you.  I bought it because you said you were a writer.”

“You had to find out my name though.”

“So?”

“You told me you played guitar and I saw your show,” Jess said.  “So?”

“You’re acting different.  Because I’m from Chasing Cross.”

“It’s not just that,” Jess said.  Her mouth ran dry and she put a hand to her mouth.  She swallowed and tried to find the rest of the words.

How was it so easy to write a book about a story, people, and emotions but when it came to her own, Jess felt trapped?  Putting her heart out there seemed to be the hardest thing to do.

“Okay, then what is it?” Johnnie asked.  “I thought I could come back here, talk to you, Jess, and be like we were this morning...”

“Why me?” Jess asked.  “That’s what it is.  Why me?  You’re the lead singer of a band.  You can have any woman in the world, but you want me?  Someone who doesn’t know you... someone who...”

“That doesn’t matter!” Johnnie said as he turned around.  “I don’t care what you know or don’t know.  I care about the way you look at me.  The way I look at you.  That’s where it all starts.  We can get to know each other over time, can’t we?”

“You tell me,” Jess said.

“I’m telling you,” Johnnie said.

He moved at her again.  He stood without touching her this time.

“I’m sorry,” Jess whispered.

“For what?”

“I wasn’t sure what my purpose was back here tonight.  I didn’t know if I was a... groupie... or the band...”

Johnnie touched Jess’s face with his hand.  His fingers caressed down her cheek.  Their eyes locked and Johnnie smiled.

“You can be anything you want,” Johnnie whispered.  “All I know is that I met a woman today that made my heart jump a little.  And then in a crowd of thousands, there she was again.  I’m not afraid, Jess, and I won’t hold back.”

“Don’t,” Jess said.  “Please.  Don’t...”

Johnnie made his next move, bringing his lips down to her.  They were a centimeter away.  Jess’s lips started to quiver, waiting to feel Johnnie kiss her.

“I’m not asking for your heart, or life,” Johnnie whispered.  “I’m just asking for this moment, to share with me.”

“I’m right here,” Jess said.

Their lips finally touched.  Johnnie’s hand held Jess’s cheek.  His other hand touched the other side of her face as he kissed her again.  And again.  And again.  His lips were soft but commanding, and each time Jess wanted the kiss to grow hotter, Johnnie resisted.  It made Jess moan.  She felt her cheeks burning, feeling embarrassed to have moaned like that.  But then Johnnie groaned and opened his mouth.  When his tongue touched Jess’s lips, her hands grabbed at the first thing they could reach.

Johnnie’s pockets.

All but her thumbs were in his pockets.

She then pulled, unaware of her own deep seeded sensual desires and needs. 

Johnnie came forward, his body touching hers.  That’s when his hands slowly made their descent from her face to her arms.  He pulled at her as their tongues swirled around each other’s, wanting more.

Finally, Johnnie broke the kiss by closing his mouth on Jess’s lips.  He held for a few seconds, exhaling a warm breath through his nose.  He pulled away with a quick wet pop sound.

He licked his lips and swallowed.

Jess did the same, tasting Johnnie.  She wanted more.

“That’s all I wanted to do tonight,” Johnnie said.

“I thought rockstars were a little more wild than that,” Jess teased.

Johnnie touched Jess’s face again.  “Oh, sweetheart, if you want wild...”

His hand slipped around to Jess’s backside and pulled at her.  It forced Jess to jump up and Johnnie’s other hand left her face and gripped her backside too.  He turned with Jess off her feet.  She wrapped her legs around him and he walked her towards the counter. 

Jess was then sitting on the counter.  Johnnie’s hands were flat and when she looked at them, she could tell he wanted nothing but to touch her.  Their eyes met again and Johnnie came close to her.  The tip of his nose touched hers and he smiled.

“We have time to get wild,” he said.  “Don’t we?”

“I don’t know,” Jess said.  “You’re the rockstar.  The busy man.  The one on tour.”

“Like I said, we’re on a break.”

“So I guess that means you have time.”

“I guess so,” Johnnie said. 

A few seconds of silence came between them.  Jess wanted Johnnie to kiss her again, but part of her didn’t want him to.  She wanted to have that first kiss linger on her lips for as long as she could handle it. 

“Meet me tomorrow,” Johnnie said.

“Meet you?  Where?”

“My hotel.  Come to my room.”

“Getting tired for tonight?” Jess asked with vixen desires burning in her eyes.

Johnnie puckered his lips and exhaled.  “Don’t tempt me...”

“Why?”

“I may have to take you away for the entire month I have off.”

“I haven’t got any plans,” Jess said and smiled.  Of course she had plans.  Everyone had plans.  This was just flirty talk... nothing more.

Right?

A knock came at the door and Johnnie closed his eyes.

“Johnnie?  It’s Peter.  I need...”

“Hold on,” Johnnie called out.

Jess watched him move away and she jumped from the counter.  Johnnie opened the door and Jess recognized the man from the café this morning.  Sweating, holding his cell phone, looking disoriented but in control.

“Oh, sorry,” Peter said when he saw Jess.

“It’s fine,” Johnnie said.  “Jess and I were just talking about our plans.”

Jess smiled.  Her body was on fire.  She never wanted a man as bad as she wanted Johnnie.  Normally, she would go on date after date, trying to find out everything she could about a man before even thinking about jumping into bed with him.  But with Johnnie... was it so wrong to just want to tear his clothes off?  To let him have her and then ask questions later.

“Give me two minutes,” Johnnie said and closed the door on Peter.  He turned back to Jess.  “Business calls...”

“I never thought I could imagine music and business together,” Jess said.

“Just like books I bet.  People see the art but not what’s behind the scenes.”

Jess moved towards the door and stopped.  “Listen, Johnnie.  Thank you.  For bringing me here... and...”

“You said your friend is fan of the band?” Johnnie asked.

“Big fan,” Jess hold.  “She’s... sort of obsessed.  But not in a creepy way.  At least I don’t think so.”

“Here, let me give you something.”

Johnnie walked to his bag and Jess watched as he started scribbling on a piece of paper. 

“You said her name was... Mary?” he asked.

“Marie.”

Johnnie came back with the paper folded up and handed it to Jess.  “There.  Give that to Marie.”

Jess looked at the paper then back at Johnnie. 

He moved down at her, kissing her one more time.  A quick kiss, lips to lips, but enough that Jess knew it would be all she’d think about.  All she’d dream about. 

It’d be all she would want, again and again.

She left the room and before she could take a step, a thought hit her.

What about tomorrow?

Johnnie wanted Jess to come to his room.  Or maybe that was just talk.  Silly rockstar talk. 

Either way, all Jess knew was that her heart wouldn’t calm down.  Not tonight, and maybe, not ever.

(11)

“You really kissed Johnnie from Chasing Cross?”

It was the fifth time Marie asked Jess about it. Jess hated herself for saying anything, but Marie wouldn’t let it go until she finally confessed something. 

They were at Jess's apartment, watching the early morning creep on.  The last time Jess stayed up past one in the morning was when she had been working on her first book.  Now she had herself on a rigid writing schedule, knowing that flying by the seat of her pants didn't work anymore.  At least professionally.  Romantically, who knew what worked?

She licked her lips, pretending she could still taste Johnnie but he was long gone.

Jess stared down into a steaming cup of tea, not wanting it.  She wondered if Johnnie and the rest of the band were drinking.  Or sleeping.  Or with other women.  In her mind, the rockstar life was nothing but shows and indulgence.  But Johnnie didn't seem to fit that, at all. 

"So you two kissed and nothing else?"

Jess smiled.  She still hadn't given Marie the autograph Johnnie signed for her.  She was saving that for the end of the night (or morning) because if she gave it to Marie before Marie was ready to leave, then she would never get rid of her.

"Just kissed," Jess said.  "He's a gentleman."

"I don't believe it.  He's a rockstar.  They like music and sex."

"We did not have sex," Jess said.  Her body regretted that truth and it made her tingle, thinking of all the odd spots in the dressing room where she and Johnnie could have enjoyed themselves.

"So... are you like dating him?"

"I don't think so.  He wanted to thank me for coming to the show."

"And that's it?"

"That's it."

"Are you going to see him again?"

Jess paused.  Johnnie did say something about his hotel, but Jess didn't know a thing about it.  And something told her that if she started calling the local hotels asking for Johnnie from Chasing Cross, she’d be laughed at and then hung up on.

“I doubt I’ll see him again,” Jess said.  “We just talked.  He told me thanks for coming to the show.  And I left.”

“You kissed though,” Marie said.

“Yeah, twice.  First time was hotter.”

Marie slapped her hand on the table, causing Jess to jump.

“I’m so jealous,” she said.

“You should be,” Jess said.  “Then again, maybe I can help a little.”

“Oh yeah, how?”

“I wasn’t only thinking about myself when I was with Johnnie.”

Marie’s eyes lit up.

“I always keep my best friend in mind...”

Jess stood from the table, taking her tea with her.  She had no interest in it, preferring her pillow and bed.  She found the folded piece of paper Johnnie gave to her and turned, showing it to Marie.

“You have to promise me something,” Jess said.

“Okay...”

“When I give you this, you celebrate and go the hell home.  Or crash on my couch.  But quietly.  I’m tired.”

“Why, what are you giving me?” Marie asked.

“You owe me big time for this.”

Jess presented the paper to Marie, smiling almost ear to ear.  She couldn’t help it though, she understood Marie’s love for Chasing Cross.  And what a moment it would be to have Johnnie’s autograph.  Whether it had actual value in the world or not, it at least meant something to Johnnie.

Marie unfolded the paper and let out a girlish scream.  She kicked her feet and held the paper to her chest.

“You didn’t!”

“Actually, I didn’t,” Jess said.  “I mentioned you a couple times, but it was Johnnie who did that on his own.  What does it say?”

Marie looked at the paper.  “He wrote my name... oh my, Jess.  He wrote my name.”

“Keep going,” Jess said.

“It says...
Marie - thanks for coming to the show. Keep Chasing us and we’ll keep playing!  Love - Johnnie
.
  It has love on it!”

“He probably writes that on all his autographs,” Jess said.  She hurried and closed her mouth, knowing just how she sounded.

Marie looked at her with both eyebrows raised.  “Jealous...?”

“No, not at all.  Stop it.  Now you’ve got his autograph.  Happy?”

“Yeah.  This is amazing.”  Marie studied the paper and looked at Jess again.  “I’m serious.  This is... you know, when “Chasing” came out, it was right after my dad died.”

“I remember, I’m sorry.”

Marie stared off.  “It was the hardest time of my life.  Cancer took him in three months.  And nothing made sense.  No matter what anyone said to me.  Or tried to do.  You remember my Uncle Tom?”

“Tom...”

“Short, fat, a pig.”

Jess smiled.  She remembered Tom.  She met him once and he tried to look down her shirt.  Total creep.

“He told me I shouldn’t worry because at the end of it all, I’d end up with all my father’s money.  As if that mattered.”

“He’s an ass,” Jess said.  “Some people don’t get it.”

“No, just listen.  When Uncle Tom said that, everything came crashing down around me.  I couldn’t believe someone would say such a thing.  It was the exact kind of moment when I’d run to my father for advice... or a hug.  So I got in my car and had no idea where to go.  I turned on the radio and there it was... “Chasing”.”