Read All Change: Cazalet Chronicles Online
Authors: Elizabeth Jane Howard
Tags: #Sagas, #General, #Fiction
Edward suffered a twinge of jealousy as he thought that. Not, of course, for Jemima but for their situation.
‘I told Jem we were gorging on lobster, and she said you know it gives you gyp, but from time to time it’s worth it. I’ve ordered another bottle of Sancerre, so let’s not talk shop for a bit and enjoy ourselves. You’re not much of a trencherman, Teddy, are you?’ But he said it kindly.
He listened while they talked about the state of the country – about what a good thing it was to have Macmillan rather than poor, worn-out Eden. Hugh didn’t like the way ‘we seem to be giving away our empire’, but Edward said it would be a relief: there was always going to be trouble all over the place and we would be far better off keeping out of it. ‘After all, he says we’ve never had it so good, and he’s right.’
Trying to do his bit – he sensed that the brothers were on the edge of some argument that could turn acrid – Teddy said, ‘But people are going to fight about things anyway, aren’t they? They said that your war was the one to end all wars, and wars broke out all over the place.’ He had speared a piece of lobster on his fork in the hope that if he concentrated on the conversation he might not notice eating it. Not so: he swallowed it whole, and it stuck in his throat precluding any further traffic, excepting wine, which he gulped in an effort to clear the way.
Eventually the meal was over, with coffee and a glass of port each on the table. A cigar for Edward and gaspers – as Hugh called them – for himself and Teddy.
They were both staying at the hotel, but Edward saw him off in McIver’s Vauxhall.
‘We’ll expect you in the office at nine sharp. Don’t be late. We have things to go through and discuss. Good night, old boy.’ He clapped him on the shoulder and went back inside.
Teddy dragged the car rug out of the back seat and crammed it into the boot. It occurred to him with a kind of dull fear that the cleaners might not be open before nine in which case he would be in further trouble. It’s as if I’d committed a murder, he thought. He felt rather drunk and really tired.
He crept into bed with the last thought that if the worst came to the worst, which it seemed to be bent on doing, he could chuck the wretched rug into the river. He set his alarm for seven thirty in the hope that there would be some warmish water for a bath. Then he tried to work out what he actually felt about sweet Ellen – a jolly romp? Love? Marriage? But somehow he was unable to feel anything. He was a creep, a liar; he could find nothing to justify his behaviour – to her or anyone else, come to that. Sleep rescued him from having to be alone with someone he could not like.
RUPERT AND FAMILY
‘The thing is, Mum, now that I’ve got to eight, I’d rather stop getting old. I don’t
want
to be like the rest of you. I just want Rivers and my zoo. So there’s no point in my going to school.’
He was sitting on the kitchen table and Zoë, who was ironing, looked up. ‘Georgie, I’ve told you dozens of times that you can’t choose your age. You simply get older every time you have a birthday. And you wouldn’t like not having them, would you?’
‘I wouldn’t,’ Georgie conceded. ‘But you could still make a non-birthday cake and give me the same presents.’
‘But eventually you’re going to need some money to buy food and things. You have to work to earn that.’
‘I don’t. I’ll charge for the tickets to my zoo.’
‘But where will you have the zoo?’
‘There’s plenty of room in the garden if you give up growing flowers.’
She spat on the iron before saying, ‘But you won’t be living here when you’re grown-up. You’ll have your own house and family.’
This shook him. ‘But, Mum, I don’t want to live anywhere without you! You, and Rivers. Dad could live with Juliet. I don’t mind at all living without her.’
‘And what about poor Dad?’
‘If I have the zoo in the whole garden he can stay.’ He had been chopping up the outside leaves of a lettuce for his tortoises with a very large knife, and now cut himself.
‘Oh, Mum, look!’ He held out a dirty hand on which a row of beady red blood was neatly ranged.
‘I told you not to use that knife. Go and wash your hand – both hands.’
‘It won’t stop the blood, Mum. It needs a plaster.’ But he jumped off the table and went to the sink.
‘Use the soap, Georgie.’
‘Now will you bandage it up?’
He loved Elastoplast and practically always had one or two plasters stuck on arms and legs. Some of them stayed for weeks after they were needed and she could only remove them by stealth – in the bath, or when he was seriously occupied with Rivers.
It was Saturday morning, and Rupert had been asked to meet Edward and Hugh at Hugh’s house. There was no sign of Juliet, who alternated endless conversations on the telephone to her friend Chrissie with long sessions in bed, or trying on and discarding heaps of clothes that she claimed had become unwearable. She had really become a nuisance, Zoë thought, sulky, remote, sarcastic and wanting always to go shopping at weekends.
In spite of her tiresome manners, or lack of them, she continued to become prettier – had none of the teenage disadvantages, only the compulsion to play her pop music at full blast. Rupert had given her a cheap gramophone, so at least the music was confined to her room. Was I like that when I was her age? Zoë wondered rather uneasily – she felt guilty whenever she thought about her mother. She would never forget her on the telephone, when the cancer was killing her, saying that the last few years with her friend on the Isle of Wight had been the happiest of her life. Even that had upset her: those years should have been with me, she often began to think, then made herself stop, because that was simply further selfishness on her part.
So, Juliet’s behaviour was almost a way of making her pay for how she had been.
As Rupert was out, she would make sandwiches for herself and the children and they could have toad-in-the-hole for supper.
The telephone rang, and when she picked it up, Juliet was already on. ‘It’s Dad, for you,’ she shouted – her bored shout: what could be duller than Dad ringing up Mum?
After confirming that he wouldn’t be back until late afternoon, there was a pause, and then Rupert said, ‘Could you get Jules to babysit Georgie tonight? I want to take you out to dinner.’ He was using what she knew was his casual voice, which meant he was serious.
‘I think she has a plan to stay with her friend Chrissie.’
‘Tell her to have Chrissie over to us, then. Or I will, if you like.’
‘I think I would like. What’s up, darling?’
But he simply said, ‘Put Jules on the phone, please.’
So she shouted and finally went up the stairs to attract Jules from the daily clamour of her music. ‘You can take it in our room,’ she yelled, above the din.
Georgie had gone into the garden with his tortoise food. The house, bathed in sunlight, seemed worryingly shabby: the stair carpet badly worn, the tiles on the kitchen floor chipped; even the pots of herbs on the windowsill were dusty. Her cleaner, who came two mornings a week, simply banged the Hoover about and then had a prolonged middle-mornings snack. She found herself thinking with nostalgia of the comfortable flat they had had in London, where everything had been well built and easy to maintain. This old and romantic house, with its ancient boiler and endless draughts, had fewer charms for her than it had for Rupert, who blithely ignored or dismissed the drawbacks. Its wonderful view of the river, its lovely eighteenth-century windows and panelled doors, its wide-boarded elm flooring and its pretty staircase were the things he loved. Oh, well: she knew that he had never wanted to stop being a painter and go into the family firm, and the house was his consolidation. And, of course, it was nice to have more money. It was only that there now seemed to be so many more dull things to spend it on.
Still, it would be lovely to be taken out, not to have to cook dinner and play Racing Demon, Jules being bored and impatient with Georgie, who was rather slow at getting the hang of it. On Sunday, Clary and Archie were coming to lunch with their children and she decided to make a lemon meringue tart for pudding. While setting out the ingredients, she began to think what she would wear for the coming evening.
Juliet came down in her pyjamas to hack a piece of bread off the loaf and spread it liberally with Marmite. ‘Dad said he’d collect Chrissie on his way back to pick you up. Half past seven, he said.’ She seemed mollified at the prospect.
‘Jules, it’s nearly lunchtime – don’t eat any more bread.’
‘Lunch! I don’t want lunch.’
And Zoë decided not to pursue the subject.
Nearly eight hours later, after a trip to the pet shop with Georgie for him to gaze at the budgerigars and grass snakes, an early supper (Chrissie and Juliet were going to eat later), after bathing him, reading a story from
The Jungle Book,
after asking Juliet’s advice about which dress she would wear (this in order to be able to implore her to be nice to her brother – she loved her mother asking advice and gave it freely: ‘You can’t possibly wear that, Mummy, you look awful in it’), after settling in the end for the old Hardy Amies that never let her down, after showing Juliet where the supper was in the fridge (she had had to buy things – Toad-in-the-hole is disgusting, Mummy. Chrissie couldn’t possibly eat it’), after combing out her newly washed hair and putting on the old paste earrings she’d had for years – the first present she’d had from Rupert – after waiting only a few moments for him to arrive, after the pleasant drive into town, they were ensconced on the first floor of Wheeler’s restaurant in Old Compton Street, sipping white wine with two large platters of oysters between them.
‘So how was your meeting?’ she asked. Get that out of the way and then we can talk about serious things, was how she secretly put it to herself.
He took a deep swig of his wine, then stretched out his hand on the table to touch hers. ‘Sweetie, prepare yourself for a bit of a shock.’
She looked into his anxious eyes and her heart sank. ‘Do they not want you in the firm any more? Darling, is that it? You know I support you in whatever you want to do.’
‘It’s nothing like that. It’s— Well, apparently, Teddy isn’t really up to running Southampton—’
‘Well, surely it’s a very good position. Hundreds of people would jump at the chance.’
‘Yes, but unfortunately hardly any of them are called Cazalet.’
‘You mean Hugh wants you to do it.’
‘They both want me to.’
She stared at him for a moment, then said, ‘But you can’t. No, really, you cannot possibly do it. Commuting from Mortlake every day – you’d spend half your life travelling, you’d be utterly exhausted. Oh, darling, and you never wanted to do any of it in the first place.’
‘We’d better get on with our oysters or our sole will be spoiled . . .
‘The thing is,’ he said, moments later, ‘that of course it wouldn’t work if I commuted. What it does mean is that I would have to live there – that we would have to move.’
‘Leave Bank House? When you love it so much? What about the children? What about their schools?’
‘We’d have to find new schools. We needn’t live in the city. We could find some lovely village outside but not too far away. We could let Bank House, and rent the village one. It wouldn’t be for ever, sweetheart, a couple of years perhaps . . .’ But her face had resumed the expression that it had so often worn in the early years of their marriage. She had been years younger and it no longer became her.
‘Darling! It’s not my choice – you know that.’
‘Of course I know it. So why should your brothers boss you about like this? Why doesn’t one of them do it?’
‘Well, I haven’t talked about this because he doesn’t want people to know, but Hugh isn’t feeling so good these days – Edward doesn’t actually think he would be up to it.’
‘What about Edward, then?’
‘I did ask him about that. But he’s worried sick about Hugh’s management. He said he simply couldn’t leave him on his own in London. He told me he’d spent an evening with some banker chap who said we should aim to sell out – go public after we’ve got our bank loan down to acceptable proportions. He said the whole business could take at least two years, and that we should get on with it. Edward thoroughly agrees, but shifting Hugh is not easy. He still thinks that our father’s methods are the only right ones. He simply won’t accept that times have changed – are changing. Darling, you don’t want to hear all this.’
‘No, I don’t. All I can hear is two selfish old men wanting their own way, and expecting you to pay for it. You should stand up to them, Rupe! Stop being so amenable!’
The waiter arrived to remove the oyster plates, and stopped when he saw that she had eaten only four of hers.
‘I don’t want them,’ she said.
There was silence while their soles, Véronique and Colbert, were put before them and more wine poured.
‘Don’t tell me you’ve agreed to this.’
‘I said I’d think it over. And talk to you.’
‘Well, you have talked to me. And as you usually seem to agree with the last person you talked to, the thing should be settled, shouldn’t it?’