All Change: Cazalet Chronicles (61 page)

On their own, unencumbered by the young, people said what a lovely day it had been and how beautifully Rachel had arranged everything. They were clinging to the present, but some of them were finding it increasingly difficult to ward off bleak and anxious thoughts of the future. They were leaving the house that had been their home for so long. A few more days and it would be over. Nothing would be the same again.

Polly found it quite a relief when she had to go and put Spencer to bed. She found him with Nan in her bedroom and there was Nan choking back tears. ‘I don’t know where I am, my lady. Nothing to eat all day and a strange woman in my kitchen. I don’t think this is my home at all, you know, because my bed is facing the wrong way and I couldn’t do my crochet for the baby.’

Polly made Nan sit on the bed and explained that they would all be going home in a few days. Nan always cried when she forgot how to crochet, which was happening more and more often now.

‘When Spencer is settled, I’ll get you some Horlicks, and when you’re ready for bed we’ll do the crochet together. Look, Nan. Isn’t he sweet?’

Nan’s face had softened and she wiped her face with a Harrington square.

‘You had lunch, you know, with all of us in the dining room, and you gave Spencer a little bone to chew and he loved it. You’re so good with him, Nan. I don’t know what I should do without you.’

A spot of appreciation did the trick, and Polly could see her remembering.

In bed at last with Gerald – she had not gone back to the drawing room because it had taken her ages to get the Horlicks and then show Nan how to do her crochet – she said how good the family were being about their misfortune. ‘You have a wonderful family,’ he replied. ‘I really admire them. Particularly your aunt. Hugh was telling me what dire straits she’s in.’

‘I know. And nobody has enough money to help her.’

‘I was wondering if you’d like her to come and live with us.’

‘Oh, my darling, how good and kind you are! Oh, Gerald!’ She turned to him and he felt her warm tears on his face.

‘I’m pretty dull, though. You get that with people who mean well. It’s a real danger.’

She kissed him.

‘You see?’ he said, when she had finished. ‘You’ve been kissing me for years now, and I’ve not turned into a prince, just stayed a plain old frog.’

‘My own most interesting frog,’ she said. ‘Mind my breasts – they’re a bit sore.’

Of course, she’ll be hunting tomorrow, and won’t have another thought in her head, Teddy realized. His parting from Sabrina had not been happy, and he was almost relieved to be without her for a few days. The poker game had broken up with Roland winning. They had only been playing with matchsticks, but these were to be converted to cash when they finished the final game. Teddy had enjoyed the male camaraderie of it. Perhaps he could get a pilot’s licence and then an interesting job, even in Africa. Rather a thrilling idea.

‘He’ll be in bed now, but in the dressing room. He doesn’t share a room with her any more. He said that she’d asked him to go to bed with her twice during the last four years, and both times she got pregnant. He’ll have given her very expensive presents, though, and I expect she’ll have given him the same, and his sister will stay and it will be a nice family Christmas. Without me.’ Louise had returned the necklace to its box and put the box under her pillow. Juliet was already asleep.

Simon thought of his love – whooping it up in Glasgow, going to pubs, getting stoned, probably nipping into bed with someone if he fancied them. That hurt: he didn’t want to think about
that.
Better leave it that he – he was two years older, after all – had seriously fallen in love with somebody who was only just learning about love. He would be back in exactly seven days. Meanwhile, it felt good to be in the old house – especially if it was for the last time. The other, absolutely marvellous thing was that Aunt Rachel had given him the Duchy’s piano as his Christmas present. At first he’d thought that she wanted him to play her something – he had played when the family sang carols: ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’, ‘I Saw Three Ships’, and ‘The Holly and the Ivy’. Later, Laura had come up to him and asked what the holly bear was like. ‘I just thought I ought to know, in case he came suddenly out of a wood, or something.’ He’d explained about there not being a holly bear – to her great relief. ‘I only wondered.’

‘You said just the right things,’ Aunt Rachel had told him later.

And now it became clear that she was actually giving him this lovely old piano: a Blüthner drawing-room grand. It was old, but that meant it had the Schwander action, made in France before the factory had closed during the First World War. The felts needed pricking, but otherwise it was perfect. He tried to express his thanks, but it was so much the most amazing present he had ever had in his life that he became lost for words and ended up hugging her, screwing up his eyes to forestall tears. ‘I’m very glad,’ she said, ‘that it means so much to you. Your grandmother would have been so pleased.’

Rachel went to bed in a far more peaceful state of mind than she’d experienced the night before. They were a very close-knit family, and she was so grateful for that. It was true that they had not accepted Zoë at first, but gradually, during those long war years, she had become enfolded and welcomed, and the Duchy had always stood up for her. Perhaps, in time, Diana will become like that, she thought. Rachel was always optimistic about potential goodness.

Tomorrow, early, she would take dear little Harriet’s bunch of snowdrops to Sid’s grave. The thought that she might be forced to live many miles away in the future pierced her yet again, but she pushed the pain deeper into her heart.

Villy lay in the dark thinking how much better it was to be back with the family, and how Roland was enjoying his siblings and cousins. He seemed happy and she had noticed that his wretched acne – the bane of his life -was definitely better. The doctor she had taken him to had said that it would clear up in its own good time. She had no idea what he felt about meeting his father in the company of his new wife, but there was nothing she could do about it now, except to be calm and absolutely unemotional. Which she was determined to be.

‘Dearest Hugh, I will not have you worrying about Rachel. I would love her to stay with us as long as she’d like.’