All In (Cedar Mountain University #2) (5 page)

“Stuffed French toast,” He counters, his voice marginally lighter
than it was just a second ago.

“Well, I can’t promise to be thrilling company.”

“I’ll suffer through.” He pulls into the mostly empty parking lot,
parking close to the door. After turning off the ignition he looks over at me.
“Somebody else is going to come along and do something more exciting, and
they’ll stop talking about you.”

“So basically I need to start hoping somebody else’s life sucks
worse than mine?”

With a chuckle he says, “Exactly.”

The inside of the diner is just as empty as the parking lot, and
the overweight waitress looks bored as she shows us to a booth in the back. She
drops two menus down on the table, rolls through her spiel on the daily
specials which unfortunately doesn’t include pancakes or French toast, and then
walks away with our drink orders.

“Here’s my problem, Jacob.” I grab the salt shaker, passing it from
one hand to the other in a show of nervous energy that I typically don’t
display. “They aren’t just talking about Grant dumping me anymore. They’re
talking about me sleeping with you. And I guarantee you by the time we leave
this diner that little scene from this morning is going to have morphed into an
all-out brawl between you and Grant.”

Leaning back he throws his arms wide, letting them rest along the
back of the booth. “It really bothers you what people think of you, doesn’t
it?”

“I’m weak, what can I say.”

It obviously doesn’t bother him. Not that I had studied him in
depth last year, because hello I had Grant then, but I’d seen Jacob around
campus, read articles in the school newspaper, seen clips on ESPN and local
news channels. He hadn’t looked fazed at all. Not by the questions, the taunts,
the pissed off fans. Not any of it.

It was like suddenly he’d never played football in his life.

I’m not sure whether I should be impressed by his ability to shut
part of himself off like that or not. I can see where it would come in handy.
I’d love to check out for a few more weeks until all this blows over, but I
like
feeling
, even if it’s pain. At
least it means I’m living, even when I’m screwing it up.

“What were his reasons?”

 
Shaking my head I bring my
eyes back to his. “What?”

“His reasons. You said he had them. What were they?”

I slide the salt shaker back across the table next to the pepper,
and drop my hands down in my lap so he can’t see them twisting together. I can
feel the heat from his frost colored eyes as he waits patiently for me to
answer his question.

“I wasn’t enough.” I finally mumble without looking at him.

I barely have the words out of my mouth before he softly responds. “Bullshit.”

My eyes shoot up to his again at that. “He told me he wanted to
explore other options. That can only mean the option he had right in front of
him wasn’t good enough.”

“Then he’s more of a dumbass than I thought.” He says right before
the waitress returns with our drinks. I quickly take a long drink from my Diet
Coke, studying him as she stands there to take our orders. He orders me the
blueberry pancakes without asking. He’s shaking his head when she walks away.
“You don’t believe me. Why? You’re a gorgeous girl, Grace.”

“I doubt you’re so shallow that you’d date a girl just because you
find her pretty.”

That dimple flashes again with his smile and I grab up the salt
shaker once more to keep from reaching out and touching the small indent of
skin.

His voice is soft, sending goose bumps dancing over my skin when he
says, “Oh, I can be shallow like everybody else.” He grins wickedly. “And I
said gorgeous. Not pretty.”

Shit, that’s a good line. I might just melt into a puddle of goo at
his feet.
 

“Regardless, he broke up with me and now I’m a freaking mess.”

“I wouldn’t say a mess.”

“Jacob, do you not remember my near melt down not even an hour ago?
I went from totally pissed off to barely functioning within the blink of an
eye. How does that not make me a mess?”

“You loved him, right?”

I nod my head. “Still do, which just adds weight to my side. I’d
have to be a total idiot to still be in love with him.”

“Not an idiot. Hopeful.”

Crossing my arms over my chest I lean back against the booth with a
huff. “Being hopeful sucks.”

“It does indeed.”

He’s got that faraway look in his eyes again. The same one he had
earlier when I asked about him having a sister. And I want to ask about his
sister, but can’t quite form the words, because I don’t want to hear the hurt
in his voice when he answers. The shrill sound of my cell phone goes off just
as the waitress comes back with our food. I fumble in my pocket, bringing it
out to see Holden’s face spread across the screen. I click the ignore button,
set the phone to vibrate then drop it down on the Formica tabletop in front of
me. I know it won’t be long before it rings again.

“Your brother?”

“Hmm. Can I have some of your French toast?”

“You gonna share the pancakes?”

“Yeah, no.” I say with a smirk. “I don’t share my food.”

“Then no French toast for you.”

My phone starts vibrating, bouncing all over the table. A quick
glance down shows that it’s Holden again. I let it run its course as I stuff
another bite of blueberry pancake in my mouth. It’ll be Cole in a few moments,
or Ally. Maybe even Robby. One of them will call next, not because they’re
worried about me, but because they want to shut Holden up. I take another
drink, watching the phone in interest.

It takes barely a minute before it starts dancing across the table
again and Delaney’s face lights up the screen. I snatch it up quickly. “Did he
seriously get you to call me?”

“Who?” Delaney’s puzzled voice comes across the line.

“Never mind. What’s up?” I stab another piece of pancake, stuffing
into my mouth. Across the table from me Jacob smirks before taking a bite of
French toast.

“I’m going to stay with Cole tonight. Is that okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be okay?” Jacob has started playing with his
phone, tapping out something on the screen. I reach across the table, stabbing
a piece of French toast and shoving it in my mouth quickly.

“You’ll be alone in the apartment.”

I swallow the toast, eyeing another piece on his place. “I think I
can handle it.” I reach across the table, ready to stab another piece, but
suddenly his hand circles my wrist stopping my forward motion. “Dammit.” I
mutter, yanking my hand away and stabbing another pancake instead. I stick my
tongue out in response to the grin on his face as he takes another bite.

“What’s the matter?” Del’s voice chirps in my ear.

“Nothing. Go have fun with Cole. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.”

I drop the phone back down on the table, smirking at the little
text message icon on the screen. Poor Holden, taken to yelling at me through
text. Not nearly as effective.

“You have a serious appetite for someone who looks like an elf.”

“An elf?” I shove another bite in my mouth. “Elf’s are ugly.”

Jacob laughs, “All right then a fairy or a pixie, or whatever the
hell the cute little things are. What’s the Disney thing in the green dress?”

“Tinkerbell.” I say dryly. “And I’m sure Walt is rolling in his
grave. Disney thing in the green dress,” I grumble, “Sheesh.”

“Who’s Walt?”

I eye him suspiciously. “What kind of childhood did you have,
Jacob? Walt as in Walt Disney. The man behind the mouse?” I shake my head.
“Never mind. And I look nothing like Tinkerbell, she’s a blonde.”

“Whatever. You look like a pixie, and you’re about as big as one,
so where does all the food go?”

I can’t even argue because even though I was on the phone, I’m
about four bites from being done with my pancakes and he has over half his
French toast left.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s rude to point out how much a girl
eats? That’s almost like calling her fat.”

“I just told you that you were as small as a pixie, how is that
calling you fat? This is why girls drive guys crazy.”

I smirk. “Oh, we know. Now hurry up, I’m ready to go.”

“Who in the hell invited her?”

Beth is standing on the far corner of the patio. She’s standing
with a trio of people, one of whom I vaguely recognize. I’m not her biggest
fan, and I know she makes Delaney uncomfortable. And does she not own any
clothes that don’t make her look like slut? Those shorts are about one
centimeter away from indecent.

“How many people actually get invited anymore?” Robby asks around a
mouthful of chips. “These cookouts are like the worst kept secret ever.” He
holds the bag out to me but I shake my head. “I don’t think I know half these
people. Like that asshole over there raiding the beer cooler, who the hell is
he?”

“Focus, Robby.” I mutter.

“I am focused. He’s drinking my beer. That’s a problem for me.”

“I can’t believe she would show her face here.”

Frowning Robby reaches into the bag of ships and grabs another
handful. “Girls are so weird. What does it matter if she’s here or not? Cole’s
with Delaney.”

“Don’t be so dense. She tried to keep them apart, therefore she is
the enemy. She always will be the enemy. That’s the way it works.”

Robby is staring at me with wide eyes. “So fucked up.” He says with
a shake of his head. “Just ignore her. Go rescue one of my beers from that
thief and relax.”

He wanders away, shoving more chips in his mouth as he goes. I
glance back over to where Beth was standing, but I’m distracted when I see
Grant come out the back door. He’s holding a plate of hamburger patties and hot
dogs, ready to go on the grill, and is laughing at something Holden is telling
him. Holden catches me watching them and winces.

I give him a small smile, and for the millionth time I wish I could
smooth everything over for everyone, but I can’t help them move past their
unease when I can’t even face my own.

If only I could show them that I’m okay.

Or I will be.

Maybe then we’d be able to find some new sense of normal in our
little group.

Cole comes to stand beside me, handing me a Blue Moon with a slice
of orange tucked in the neck of the bottle. I take a long drink, feeling the
liquid coat my throat.

“So tell me about Jacob Ross.”

I choke on the drink I’d just taken. “Jesus, you to? What about
him?”

Cole shoots me a look. “Really? Holden has done nothing but bitch
to me about you spending the night with him. Then Grant grumbles all week about
him using you. So, what’s the deal?”

“The deal is that Holden isn’t my father and Grant is an asshole
for thinking he has any right to be worried about me at all.”

“Besides that.” He says with a laugh.

I take another long drink of the beer. “There’s nothing besides
that. He’s in one of my classes, why does it have to be such a big deal? When
did Holden turn into such a girl? He’s driving me absolutely nuts. It’s like
Grant broke up with me and now he thinks I can’t make any rational decisions on
my own.”

“Give him a break, Gracie Lou, he knows you’re hurting and he
doesn’t know how to fix it. To top it off, it’s his best friend that did it so
he’s struggling with the urge to kick Grant’s ass.”

“I don’t want him to struggle with it,” I say, sighing. “I just
want things to be easy.”

Cole snorts. “We don’t do easy, Grace, not in this crew.”

“We need to figure out how.”

“Well, since your new friend just walked through the door, I don’t
think we’re going to figure it out tonight.” He clicks his bottle of beer
against mine before walking away. I turn to watch Jacob make his way into the small
courtyard. He scans the crowd and it gives me a second to study him. His long
legs are encased in a pair of loose jeans. and he’s wearing a button down shirt
the same pale blue color of his eyes with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows,
and hello sexy forearms. Who knew that was a thing? His hair still has the sexy
I’ve-just-rolled-out-of-bed look, and he’s forgone shaving again.

He spots Grant, and I watch in fascination as the line of his jaw
tightens and his eyes narrow before he keeps looking around the backyard.

I start to move in his direction, but stop when I see Robby
approach him. It’s obvious they know each other when they greet each other in
that stupid guy way that’s some sort of half hug half pat on the back thing
that I just don’t understand.

Huh. I was unaware that Robby knew Jacob. He’d never mentioned it
before. I was definitely going to have to figure out how I had missed that.

Just as I’m about to start moving toward him again I feel a hand on
my shoulder stopping me. When I glance back, my stomach sinks to see that it’s
Grant. I really don’t want to fight with him tonight.

“Grace, hey.”

I look back to Robby and Jacob to find that they are moving across
the yard, heading toward the precious cooler of beer. He hasn’t even glanced in
my direction.

“What do you want, Grant?” I ask tiredly.

“To apologize.”

I choke out a laugh. “Haven’t you already done that? Doing it
multiple times isn’t going to make me forgive you any faster.”

“I’m sorry about the other day. I just,” He pauses, running a hand
through his hair. “I worry about you.”

“Don’t.” I suggest simply. Before he can say anything else I move
across the yard with purpose, heading directly for Jacob. He’s still talking to
Robby, and now Todd has joined them. I am not a Todd fan. He drinks a little
too much, a little too often, for my taste. Plus he threw up in my car which is
all kinds of rude. And he leers, like all the damn time. Thank goodness I
wasn’t wearing a low-cut top tonight.

I slide right up next to Jacob, running a hand down his arm, and
settling my hand into his.

I realize my mistake the instant my skin touches his. Hot streams
of awareness spread like wildfire through my entire body.

Holy shit. Holy shit, how is that possible? How is it possible that
the smallest bit of contact between the two of us has me wanting to wrap my
entire body around him until I can’t tell where he begins and I end?

I want to crawl inside of him and live there so I can be wrapped up
in this feeling forever.

Shaken by something I’ve never felt before, I have to force myself
to focus on what’s going on around me. It takes every bit of will power I have
not to turn around to see Grant’s reaction. Or Holden’s for that matter. They
think I’m so hung up on Grant that I’m going to do something stupid?

Well I’m about to, but not in the way they think.

“Hey guys.” My gaze flicks up to Jacob. I’m begging him with my
eyes, hoping he understands what I’m silently asking him to do. This poor guy
who rescued me from myself last weekend, and now I’m drawing him into a game
I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be playing.

Boy is he going to be sorry he ever talked to me.

He cocks his head to the side just a little, those intense eyes
studying me for several heartbeats.

I don’t know if I’m more terrified to find out if he’s going to
play along, or if he’s going to call me out and ask me what in the hell I’m
doing. I release a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding when he tilts into
me and says, “Hey there, Pixie.” His voice is low and husky. My eyes narrow
just slightly at the nickname, and I can see the damn humor dancing in his eyes
because he knows I’m not going to say anything.

“Gracie Lou—”

“Don’t call me that.” My head snaps around as I glare at Todd.

“Whoa there, honey.” He throws his hands up in innocence. “I was
just saying hi.”

I open my mouth to blast him for calling me honey when Jacob gives
my hand a tug. “I’m hungry, come help me make a plate.”

“Dude,” I hear Robby say. “He just totally saved your ass. You know
she hates you. Why do you push your luck?”

My hand stays wrapped tightly in Jacob’s as we move across the yard
over to the grill and the small table set up next to it. He lets go just long
enough to make a plate. I wait quietly, knowing he’s got a million and one
questions, and I don’t have a single answer for what I’d just done.

Holden and Grant are standing at the grill, which really isn’t all
that far away from us. Holden has a puzzled look on his face where Grant just
looks pissed. When Jacob’s plate is fixed, he balances it in one hand and grabs
my hand in the other.

“Somewhere quiet?”

I nod my head, leading him back through the house and out on to the
front steps. I drop his hand the moment the front door closes behind us,
rubbing the palm of my hand against my jeans as if that will somehow wipe away
the stupid decision I’d just made.

“I’m so sorry, Jacob.” I sit on the top step, dropping my head into
my hands, I thread my fingers through my hair, pulling slightly. “I don’t know
what in the hell came over me.”

He takes a bite of his burger, chewing slowly as he watches me.
It’s unnerving, waiting for him to say something. To say anything. I can’t read
a freaking thing on his poker face, and those unique frost blue eyes don’t
indicate one way or the other what’s going on behind them.

Finally he swallows. “Did we start dating and I missed it? Because
I’m pretty sure that’s not something I would forget,” he says, then calmly
takes another bite of burger. Like this is a normal every day conversation.

I mean, I know I talk about my fake relationship all the freaking time.
Doesn’t everyone?

“He pissed me off. Again.”

One brown brow arches up. “Which one?”

“Grant mostly.” I reach over and grab a Cheeto off his plate,
popping it in my mouth before he can take it back. “Holden doesn’t make me mad
so much as he makes my heart hurt.”

Jacob makes a noise under his breath that I can’t quite pin down. I
know he thinks Holden should be mad at Grant for dumping me, just as I know
that I won’t hold it against Holden that he isn’t. The friendship between Grant
and Holden is hard to explain to someone who didn’t watch it form. Grant had a
lackluster mother and a mostly absentee father, and when he was home it wasn’t
all sunshine and roses in the Michaels’ house.

So Grant spent more time at our house than his own, and then their junior
year of high school something happened and Holden had brought Grant home with
two broken ribs, a split lip, a broken nose, and matching black eyes. Grant’s
father disappeared entirely after that, and my father had a come to Jesus
meeting with his mother.

She’d never win mother of the year, but things had improved for
Grant at home after that. In one of the rare times that Grant had opened up to
me about his home life he told me that Holden had saved his life. He hadn’t
gone in to it more than that, and I hadn’t pushed.

Maybe I should have. Maybe knowing more would help me understand
where he was coming from now.

“So Grant pissed you off and you thought it would be a good idea to
what? Make him jealous?”

“Uh, jealous wouldn’t be the word I’d use.” I wrinkle my nose in
thought. “Though it might be a tiny part of my reason.” I allow. “A very tiny
part.”

“Okay.” He swallows another bite. “So now what?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think that far ahead. I’m a spur of the
moment kind of girl, Jacob. Planning is for pussies.”

He chokes on a bite of burger and I laugh. “Yeah,” I say with a
shake of my head. “Sorry.”

“It’s just odd hearing such dirty language out of such a pretty
mouth.”

“You sure have some lines.” I mutter, tucking my hair behind my
ears. “I’m sorry I put you in this position.”

His mouth kicks up in a half smile which has his dimple flashing
briefly. “What position would that be? The one where everybody now thinks I’m
dating a sexy girl? Don’t think that’s such a bad deal.”

Reaching over I grab a Cheeto off his plate, laughing softly at the
slight narrowing of his eyes as I pop it in my mouth.

“I didn’t even stop to think that you might already be dating
someone.”

“Nope. I’m free and clear to be your pretend boyfriend.” He takes
the bottle of beer out of my hand, draining the rest before handing it back.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll fix it. I shouldn’t have brought
you into the middle of this.” I grab another Cheeto off his plate. “Have you
ever had these stale?” I ask, holding the Cheeto up between us.

A look of complete horror crosses his face. “What? That’s gross.”

Laughing, I pop the Cheeto into mouth. “They taste better stale. I
promise. And yes,” I pause to lick the cheese off my fingers, “I know exactly
how weird I am.”

“How did we go from pretend dating to your weird eating habits?” He
pulls the plate away when I go to grab another Cheeto. “Uh-uh, weirdo, you
don’t get anymore.”

“That’s just mean,” I grumble. But I don’t reach for another one. I
roll the empty bottle of beer between my hands, feeling the slight condensation
rub into my palms. “I’ll set everyone straight tomorrow. I promise.”