All is Lost (All Series, Book 2) (24 page)

Distracted by the feel of Breesan’s soft skin
my hand idly slides up her calf and my thumb brushes across the
tiny scar on her knee. My body automatically seeks hers as if it is
a missing link and I can’t get enough. She wraps her tiny hand
around mine, lifts it to her lips and places a soft kiss to my
palm, heating my body instantly.

“
I love when you touch me,” Breesan
breathes softly. She blushes then places my hand back on her
leg.

“
A few summers ago I was in the
Bahamas studying to be a life guard. I had the best tan of my life.
This summer I was going to work on duplicating that shade, but
plans change huh? Yeah, don't answer that.” She looks away,
moisture pooling in her eyes and she remains quiet for a few
minutes. “So another year I went to an academic camp in Oregon. Let
me say, writing essays every day for three months, just wow, but
math is so not my forte. I wanted to gouge my eyes out with an ice
pick every day.” She laughs and the twinkle returns to her
beautiful gray eyes again. “Then when I was six I attended
different church camps for four summers. All of the activities were
great and I was never bored, but before I set out for each new
adventure I dreaded leaving Willow. Deep down I'm just a homebody,
but getting away from Julia encouraged me to go.”

“
Wow, you really did stay
busy.”

We stare into each other’s eyes, locked in a
sweet gaze. The forgotten television plays softly in the
background, but all of our focus is only on being together. For
this brief moment in time, neither of us have concerns of bad
things or evil stepmothers pushing her away. For now it is only us,
and this blissful moment of getting to know each other.

Breesan sighs, “It's kind of sad that we
missed each other all of those summers. Who knows what would have
happened if we met before though.” She whispers shyly, her cheeks
blush as I stare into deep gray eyes, completely mesmerized, and
totally lost in her.

“
Come here.” I say, scooping her
into my arms and securing her tightly against me. “This is going to
sound lame as hell, but I have to admit that even though we just
met, I missed you Breesan. I never want to experience another
summer without you.” I whisper against her silky neck, hoping the
intensity of my true feelings doesn't scare her.

I want to believe that life will be perfect as
long as I have her. Whatever pride I had before where women were
concerned is obsolete now. I'll give up everything for this
happiness with her. Breesan wiggles down and tucks her face into
the crook of my neck, sending an electric charge through my body.
An overwhelming urge to tell her how much she means to me clenches
my heart. I pray that one day I will be able to do more than tell
her, I want to show her how much I love her.

I kiss the top of her head, and we stay in our
embrace until I notice that the rise and fall of her chest slows.
Carrying my sleeping beauty upstairs, I lay her on our bed and
drape the cover over her. I strip off my tee-shirt and slide in
behind her. All I can think about is the desire I have to enjoy
nights like this one for the rest of my life. A huge grin splits my
face as I close my eyes and await dreams of a life filled with
Breesan Maxwell.

“
Sleep well, my love,” I say
softly. A sleepy whimper escapes her lightly parted lips as I press
an open-mouth kiss against her neck.

Chapter
Seventeen

Marcus

Waking early hearing soft whimpers, I
instinctively tighten my arms snaking around the soft body lying in
front of me. Before opening my eyes my mind informs me that my
sweet love Breesan is having a bad dream. Opening my eyes, I lift
my head and peer down at her face etched with fear, noticing a tear
pooling in the corner of her eye.

“…
Anna…please, no, don’t hurt her…”
she whimpers in her sleep. “…dad…, please, let me go…”

I freeze, feeling my heart hammering
erratically from her broken words, and processing her sad pleas.
Are these memories of the loss she recently experienced or can they
be hopes for the future she expects? I softly croon words of love
and reassurance that I'm here with her. Her body stiffens. Rolling
around in my arms, she faces me and runs a hand up my arm. Unable
to wait another moment, I pull her in for a kiss, but she stops me
covering her hand over her mouth.

“
Don't ever deny me access to these
sweet lips. My very essence depends on the feel of them against
mine.” I stroke the tip of my nose over hers loving the way her
eyelids grow wide at my admission. “So kiss me like you're happy to
see my ugly mug when you first wake up.” She smiles, takes my face
in her hands and gently touches her tender lips to mine once then
pulls away. I stick out my bottom lip, pouting when she doesn't
open for me.

Shaking her head no, Breesan says, “More after
I brush. I promise.”

Slipping out of the bed, she smiles at me as
she glances back over her shoulder. Leaving the bathroom door open,
she quickly begins freshening up. After a few moments I decide to
join her in the small bathroom. We brush together staring directly
and deeply into each other's eyes.
God I want this every day
that I’m alive
.

Is she picturing a future of mornings similar
to this one like I am? She lifts an eyebrow at me, smirks and then
rinses her mouth. Patiently waiting for me to finish, she pushes me
back out the door and closes the door behind her, locking me out.
Climbing back under the covers I wait for her to return to my arms
and wonder if I should mention that she was talking in her sleep. A
little while later she comes out of the bathroom and without
hesitation wiggles back into my arms.

“
Despite what you think I find
waking up in your arms heavenly. And this mug,” She grasps my face
in one hand, squeezing just enough to make my lips poke out, “is
one of the most handsome I've ever seen.”

I smile like an idiot. “Is it now?” I ask
after kissing her with my lips still puckered in her
grasp.

“
Mm hmm, you have the most
mesmerizing green eyes.” She says, releasing the hold she has on my
face. Her cheeks redden from her confession and she begins
stammering with a recovery explanation. “Oh, but I'm sure you've
been told that before. Like probably a million times.”

“
Not once,” I say. “Until today,
only you have used the word mesmerizing while describing
me.”

“
Wow that really is…surprising,”
she says with a shocked expression. “You are so…so handsome, and
for
none
of your girlfriends to tell you how it feels, like
your eyes hypnotize and cherish them, then they must have been
total divas.”

Laughter bubbles up from deep within my
throat. “No not even close. I told you I don't do girlfriends.” I
smile at the color darkening on her cheeks. “Honestly, including
you I've only had two girlfriends.”

She scoffs, “Right.” Arching an eyebrow, she
adds, “You know an awful lot about me, and except for your jobs, I
know so little about you. Are you ever going to share with me, or
will Marcus Walker remain a mystery?”

I shrug, “Other than my jobs, there really
isn’t much to tell. Helping others is my passion. I guess you would
say I'm a protector by nature.”
And I’m passionate about
protecting you
. “Ever since I was a child I fought for the
underdog and feel compelled to make things better. My childhood was
abnormal, but whose wasn't?” She nods, acknowledging her own
dysfunctional family. “I liked living in England, but I always
wanted to come back home. For years I begged my parents to move us
back, but they claimed we needed to live closer to the European
offices. They traveled most of the time leaving us with a
governess, so it didn't make sense to me why they felt me, Morgan
and Sam needed to be in England.”

Feeling a pang of heartache with these
memories I stall and stare at Breesan, seeing the desire for me to
continue billowing through her silvery tinted eyes. I don’t think
now is the best time to tell her all of my family bullshit so I
change to a lighter topic.

“
Hey do you know when the first
time was that I heard the name Breesan Maxwell?” Her eyes widen
significantly and she shakes her head while her gaze bores heavier
into mine. “Don't look so shocked. Of course I heard a little about
you.” I say, smiling and she relaxes a little while I
explain.

“
When I was visiting one summer I
had gotten my driver's license the winter before. According to
Anna, the cool thing to do was hang out at the skating rink. She
was still a few years away from driving so she convinced me to
chauffer her and Tristan. A girl that I had… um, met the year
before spotted me,” I stammer, accidentally hinting about a hook
up. “She was uh... happy to see me and I wasn't too upset with
running into her either.” I smirk and she rolls her eyes playfully.
“Until she started gossiping about everyone, and before I knew it I
had zoned out, but then she said your name...”

Breesan’s forehead crinkles while she rises up
to prop on her elbow. “Ohgod,” Gritting her teeth, she begs, “Who
was she, and what in the hell did she tell you?”

“
I can't remember her name. She was
asking about my summer plans, and I jokingly explained my new role
of driving Ms. Anna.” Breesan smiles at my dumb joke. “At that
point she shifted the subject and began telling me how delusional
Anna was, but I was clueless. I mean, yeah, Anna can be a pain in
the ass sometimes, but she’s one of the sanest people I know. I
thought this girl was kidding, but then she explained herself. She
said that Anna was desperately holding onto a one-sided
relationship with you.” I pause, realizing too late that what I’m
telling her is cruel.

“
Please finish,” she whispers, her
sad eyes staring intently into mine.

“
Are you sure?” I ask and she
nods.

“
She told me that Anna claimed you
as her best friend. I know I looked stunned when she said this
because she was extremely dramatic in affirming that I had heard
right. She insisted that you didn't have any friends and… that Anna
was out of her mind for thinking it.” I pause a moment. “I racked
my brain trying to remember you. Except for a faint memory of your
name being mentioned I couldn’t place you. Later that evening,
after I dropped Anna off at home, I asked Tristan more about you.
He confirmed what the girl told me.” Breesan gasps. Hearing the
stupid word rolls out of my mouth, I pause watching a pained look
move across her face. “I'm sorry baby. I shouldn't have said
anything.” I say, stroking my fingers over her arm.

“
No,” She exhales loudly. “It's all
true. God, I was such a shitty friend to Anna. How did she put up
with me? Now she's gone and I only just told her how much she means
to me.”

I pull Breesan tightly against my chest,
wishing I could erase the past ten minutes. A heavy pain clamps
around my heart hearing her sniffle. I feel like a total ass
bringing up Anna and Tristan while she blames herself for
everything that has happened to them. Feeling the urgency to
redirect her thoughts, I decide that it is confession
time.

Reaching for her hand, I distract myself from
the pain of my history while staring at our interlaced fingers. I
swallow hard as I hammer down my insecurities about revealing
secrets.

“
When I was six we moved to
England. I hated moving. I was miserable, but my parents were
adamant that our family was leaving Willow. I begged them to let me
live with my grandparents, but nothing I did or said stopped the
move across the ocean.” I pause, willing the hurt to remain buried
while I dig up the memories. “My mood stayed sullen for a very long
time. Willow was a magical place for a kid that age, but there was
more to it than just some childish fantasies; I felt like I had
left behind the best part of my life. Growing up with Tristan and
Morgan here truly was awesome.” I smile, catching her mood
softening before I continue.

“
Before coming home for the summer
of freshman year in college, I overheard my folks in a heated
argument. Their fights were not exactly unusual because they argued
all the time, and they never hid their harsh words from us.” I
remember that day like it just happened, and the memory floods me
with heavy emotions. “There was something in their tone that
stopped me in place as I passed my dad's office this one afternoon.
Barret was drinking and my mother was crying. I distinctly heard
her begging for his forgiveness followed by her telling him “for
the millionth time, if I could change everything I would rewrite
history.” I stood there frozen wondering what she could be talking
about. She continued by saying that she would go back to the night
Sam was conceived, and…” My words catch in my throat before I can
finish telling her the rest.

“
Hey,” she whispers, sweeping her
hand up my arm and holding it tightly.

I let out a ragged breath and say, “My mother
said that she would not have had sex, insinuating she didn’t want
Sam. For an instant I thought that my dad's hatred toward Sam was
because she was an unplanned pregnancy that trapped him into an
unwanted marriage, but I was wrong. Before my mind could fully
accept that possibility, my mother's next words sent a jolt right
through me.”

I notice Breesan stiffen in my arms and I can
feel her gaze on me, but the somber emotions rolling through me
prevent me from acknowledging it. I stare up at the ceiling and
push through telling her the rest of my story.