All is Lost (All Series, Book 2) (31 page)

“
Because I get to wake up cuddling
you every day,” he admits, drawing my head down against his bare
chest. “There's nothing better in this world, except for maybe
watching you while you sleep and then having your perfect smile
greet me every morning sets my heart on fire.”

I tilt my head up and smile sweetly at him.
God, I love sleeping in Marcus’ arms every night. Dropping his lips
to mine he drags across repeatedly, begging for me to part them. I
haven't brushed yet and he knows that's one of my little pet-peeves
so I refuse entry. Resigning he presses his mouth against my lips
once more then slowly grazes along my cheek, stopping at my ear and
nuzzling behind it with his nose. Taking a slow, calming breath his
body relaxes, but he continues to hold me closely.

“
Breesan,” Marcus says softly
against my neck, “there's something I need to tell you.”

I freeze from the heaviness I suddenly feel
hearing him say these words. I'm scared because every time he’s
told me something after saying these words it has been bad
news.

“
Please don't tell me anything bad
because I seriously don't think I can take much more.” Sitting up,
I drape my legs over the edge of the bed, placing my feet on the
bed frame while nervously running my fingers through my tangled
hair.

“
Well it's actually good news this
time. At least it's probably good news to you more than me, but no,
it's not bad news. Morgan is on his way back home. He's probably
back at the mansion by now.”

Turning around excitedly, I practically jump
on him as I grab his shoulders and stare down into his
eyes.

Truth.
Finally, my embedded lie
detector is functioning again.

“
I'm telling you the truth Love.
He's really back so you can relax a little, yeah?”

Familiar with my ability to tell when someone
is lying, Marcus grins devilishly at my aggressiveness, but I
remain focused, needing to know so badly that he really is telling
the truth.

“
Really?” I say shocked, unable to
force belief into my brain fast enough.

“
I wouldn't lie to you. He's really
back...” Mumbling the last part, his smile completely fades away,
“but he doesn't know you're here.” Confused, my eyes narrow in on
his while I try to understand his meaning.

Noticing my perplexed expression he explains,
a tad bit crestfallen. “He believes the lie everyone else believes
because that's what Sam told him.”

“
Ohgod Marcus.” A sinking feeling
plummets to the bottom of my belly and I struggle continuing, “he
is probably freaking out. He needs to know the truth. I can't do
that to him.”

“
It's too dangerous
Breesan.”

Shaking my head furiously I refuse to believe
this excuse and press on expressing my feelings. I blurt out
anxiously, “It's bad enough that I'm lying to Anna's parents by
hiding out here with you and living under the disguise of Beatrice
at the bar. I refuse to betray Morgan too.”

“
It's safer for him and you if he
believes what everyone else believes. Morgan knowing about our plan
won't bring Anna and Waverly back. So we must keep him in the
dark.” Marcus explains and I hate his reasoning.

A terrible pain squeezes my heart and it is an
ache for Morgan. I miss him so much. After everything that has gone
on, being so close and not being allowed access to him is too
much.

I whisper, “It's too much.” Dropping my face
into my hands, I fight the urge to cry.

“
Shit!” Holding me against him,
Marcus strokes my back with a gentle touch. After several minutes
the guilt ebbs away. Determined to be strong I shrug out of his
hold so I can catch my breath.
Normal is what we need
. If
we
have to pretend that everything is okay around everyone
else then I need to do it with him too. Marcus is suffering just as
much as I am, he just doesn't show it.

“
I'm okay,” I mumble weakly.” My
stomach rumbles loudly, “Maybe just a little hungry. Let's get out
of this room. I'll cook breakfast and we can discuss this more
after we eat.” I command, avoiding eye contact with him.

“
Anything you want Baby,” he
promises. Tipping my face up he glides his fingers along my
forehead moving the stray hairs away, tucking them behind my ear.
“Just know that I'm here and I'll do anything to help you get
through this.”

Towing me behind him we walk into the empty
kitchen. Once inside the burden of my dilemma lessens and I begin
rummaging through the refrigerator for the ingredients to make my
favorite breakfast meal. After offering his assistance, Marcus sits
on a chair at the island waiting for my instructions and
guidance.

“
How hungry are you? Because I'm
literally famished,” I convey by rubbing my stomach
dramatically.

“
I'm right there with you,” He says
with hooded eyes. “Famished, in more ways than one.”

I grin while running my hand over his chest.
Matching his hunger exactly, I would love nothing more than to make
love to him, but we're just not there yet. Winking playfully at me,
Marcus kisses the tip of my nose, turns me back around to the
stove, and then lightly swats my backside.

“
Ouch!” Feigning pain, I scowl
playfully while rubbing my butt cheek. “It appears that those idle
hands will get you in trouble. We better remedy that right now.”
Smiling at him, I am relieved we have managed to disconnect from
all the bullshit, even if it is for just a short time. “Beat these
eggs lightly and pour in just a little milk. I'm going to make you
my special breakfast feast.”

Being like this with Marcus stirs something
inside my mind. I feel a familiar connection and it takes me back
to my childhood. Cooking breakfast with my dad every Saturday
morning was a special tradition and normally the memory would
sadden me with his absence, but today Marcus' presence revitalizes
me.

Am I becoming too dependent on him
?
Fear begins to grip me as I ponder the possibility of him leaving
me. I'm not naïve. If they get a lead on Julia or Dr. A, he'll have
to leave me. I suddenly remember that I haven’t taken my medication
in over a week.
God, please let me keep it together
. I must
not let him see that I'm barely containing that weak, pathetic girl
he is more than familiar with. Forcing my negative thoughts away
before he becomes aware of my minor freak-out, I start working on
our meal.

Greasing the waffle pan, I hear Sam's melodic,
but mildly edgy voice call out for Marcus, followed by the close of
the heavy front door. Happy having her back from her recent
overnight trip, I glance at Marcus noticing his expression mirrors
mine. He really loves her. Surprisingly she has become a source of
companionship for me too, not one that replaces Anna, but fills a
void that I didn't even know existed.

Practically living under the same roof we're
getting along like sisters. Literally, borrowing stuff and bitching
about all things, including the guys. With a shared love of scary
movies, we stayed up late one night vegging out on an all day
marathon. Marcus felt the need to skip it, stating we needed some
girl time, and adding how he cannot understand our obsession, since
we have enough real life drama that keeps him more than
satisfied.

Movement in the doorway catches my attention
and I see Sam pause before she walks through the doorway. She
scrunches her forehead watching us. My smile falls quickly seeing
the person behind her as he pierces me with a harsh glare. Gasping
deeply, I struggle to remain standing when I notice his eyes soften
as he rushes toward me. Dropping whatever is in my hands, I meet
him in the middle of the room and leap into his arms.

“
Ohgod, you're alive.” Morgan grips
me so tightly against him that all of my breath whooshes out, but
right now I don't care, because I am so happy to see him. “Oh thank
god.” He continues to chant his thanks for me being alive. His
emotions conjure my tears, burning briefly in my eyes before
streaking down my cheeks. I tuck my face into his neck and release
hard sobs while softly mumbling my thanks too.

Lowering me back to my feet, Morgan strokes
both hands down my face from my forehead down, moving away lose
hairs and wiping away some of my tears with his thumbs. He searches
my face, like he can't believe that I'm really standing here in
front of him. Wiping my drenched face with my shirt sleeve, I
notice Morgan glance over his shoulder at Marcus briefly, giving a
small nod. Leaning forward again, he places warm lips on my
forehead, sighs and then tenderly wraps his arms around me. We
stand silently swaying fully engrossed in our reunion. A loud
demanding throat clearing reminds me that Marcus and Sam are
watching our exchange. Before I have a chance to pull away Morgan
steps back, but continues staring.

“
Breesan?” Morgan whispers my name
accusingly, forcing a shiver down my spine and I mirror his
retreating action, stepping away too.

Without hesitation Marcus crosses the room,
wraps an arm around my waist and places a sweet kiss against my
cheek. His claim on me causes Morgan's body to go rigid. Folding
his arms tightly over his chest, Morgan narrows his eyes and glares
between me and Marcus. Seeing the anger in his expression scares
me, but I need him to understand what has happened since his
disappearance. I reach out for his arm hoping he will allow me to
explain everything and wanting to sooth his hostility, but he isn’t
having it.

“
Show me where I'm sleeping,” he
snaps at Sam, turning away from me.

She stares harshly at him in utter disbelief.
Without argument she slips out the doorway with Morgan following
behind.

“
Oh hell no,” I yell, needing to
make things right and pissed at his reaction. “Are you kidding me?
You're just going to walk away from me and think that I'm okay with
that shit.”

Ignoring me completely, Morgan follows Sam
down the hallway disappearing up the stairs. Defeated by his total
disregard, my shoulders sag and I release a loud sigh. Warm arms
engulf me from behind causing an odd nervousness to flair under my
skin.

Give him time,” Marcus murmurs, dropping his
face into my hair. “He'll get over it.”

“
No, I'm not waiting.” Pushing away
from his hold, I spin around. “Waiting has gotten me nowhere, ever.
I owe Morgan an explanation. More importantly, I'm pissed that he
took off without a damn word to anyone. All of this bullshit has
gone down that has crushed everyone around him, but he is still so
damn self-righteous.”

“
Some things will never change.
He's got some explaining to do, but for now just let him stew. If
you go up there and demand that he listens to you he will only piss
you off. And I'm not going to let him be an asshole to you,” Marcus
growls irritably. Needing contact with me he laces our fingers
together before placing a kiss on the back of my hand.

“
It's fine,” I say. “The last time
I saw him was when I walked away from him without a word, after he
kissed me. I never got a chance to explain about the things between
you and me. I just don't want him to hate me Marcus.” Taking my
hand back, I sit down at the island and drop my head onto my arms
now crossed over the counter top.

“
He doesn't hate you. Far from it,”
Marcus mumbles the last comment painfully.

Jealously of his brother is not a good color
on my sexy Marcus, but I refuse to acknowledge it. Instead, with my
face still buried, I roll my eyes at his over-protective side
dominating him at the moment. Clearing his throat, Marcus briskly
rubs his hands together as if the action will massage out his
hostility over Morgan's behavior.

“
If it will make you feel better
I'll speak with Morgan. It's so damn unfair for him to be angry
with you over the lie Rhys created.” Keeping my head down, I nod
satisfied with his eagerness to help rectify the
situation.

Completely embarrassed and defeated, I fear
being overtaken by my emotions again. I haven't experienced an
episode for a while now, but if my past has taught me anything it
is that after a series of events like what I have endured lately,
crying is just the gateway to my breakdown. Peeking up from under
my lashes, I see Marcus storming out of the kitchen taking the same
path as his brother and sister.

A low growl echoes in the hallway as I hear
him say, “Fucking Morgan.”

Swallowing the nausea I feel forcing its way
up my throat, I understand this can't be easy for him, and I know
that he's definitely only doing it for me. For now that is good
enough. Fixing things are at the top of my priorities list, along
with finding Anna and Waverly. Very soon I will have it all; them
back, Morgan forgiving me and Tristan healthy. Then I'm finally
going to do this friendship thing right. Making up for every lost
moment due to my selfishness, I am going to have them begging me
for space when all is said and done.

Clicking heels on the tile floor brings me out
of my deep thoughts. Lifting my head, I see Sam staring at me,
concern impairing her beauty. Walking around the large island, she
approaches me slowly then draws me into a deep hug.

“
How are you doing honey?” she
asks. The familiarity of her concern inundates me and I rest my
head weakly against her shoulder.