All My Friends Are Still Dead (4 page)

Read All My Friends Are Still Dead Online

Authors: Avery Monsen,Jory John

Tags: #General, #Humor

I know it’s not intentional, but sometimes you guys really hurt my feelings.

It is intentional!

Wow
. That was only the second time I’ve kissed a living person!

Something is seriously wrong with me.

Hello there, Mr. Refrigerator. Will you be my friend?

Yeah, girl. Work that loofah.

I’ve really been trying to make friends, recently. It’s just so hard to meet people these days.

Whoops.

Acknowledgments

A thousand thanks to everyone at Chronicle Books, especially Steve Mockus, Emilie Sandoz, April Whitney, and Albee Dalbotten.

A huge thank you to Steven Malk, who makes a mean dinner playlist, among many other talents.

And our friends and families, including but not limited to: Allison Allbee, Joel Arquillos, Mac Barnett, Sarah-Violet Bliss, Jesse Brown, all the Cowans, Derek Fagerstrom & Lauren Smith, Zak Fishman, Zina Goodall, Walter Green, Emily Heller, Eli Horowitz, Deborah John, James Keary, Clare McNulty, Bill Monsen, Risa Monsen, Jeremy & Yvonne Otsu, Kate Parsons, Reddit, Gail Rubin, Patrick Shaffner, Ben Sinclair, Amanda Smith, Marielle Solan, Riley Soloner, Dan Weiss, and Lawrence Wilson. Thanks for being alive, guys.

About the Authors

Avery Monsen is an actor, artist, and writer who lives in New York. You should follow him on Twitter at @averymonsen.

Jory John is a writer, editor, and journalist who lives in California. On Twitter, he’s @joryjohn. Why don’t you follow him, too?

Together, they wrote
All My Friends Are Dead, I Feel Relatively Neutral About New York
, and
Pirate’s Log: A Handbook for Aspiring Swashbucklers.
They also created the comic panel,
Open Letters
, which appears in weekly newspapers across the country. In their spare time, they make T-shirts at
www.bigstonehead.net
.

If you’re on Facebook, and who isn’t these days, you should come say hi at
www.facebook.com/amfad
.

My heart-valve has ruptured.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Contents

All my friends are still dead

Acknowledgments

About the Author

My heart-valve has ruptured.

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