Authors: Tina Brooks McKinney
“What are you drinking?” I asked, noticing for the first time the empty drink glasses in front of her.
“Rum and Coke,” she responded while motioning to the bartender to bring her another one.
“That’s a bit on the heavy side for you, ain’t it? You usually stick to wine coolers.”
“Tonight, I need this,” was her response. I ordered a pina colada and turned my back to her and the bar as I continued to snap my fingers to the music. I was trying so hard not to let her dampen my good mood. I looked too good that night not to enjoy myself. I had been watching Norman for months and always had thought that I was not his type but that night I was on fire. Nothing was going to bring me down. I saw a couple of old partners enter the club but I was so far past them, I did not even break my stride.
In my case, when I say partners I mean dance partners but in Sammie’s case, it more than likely meant fuck buddies. I saw one guy that I had slept with before but we both realized it was a mistake and maintained a cordial relationship. I didn’t hate on him and he didn’t hate on me. Almost every relationship that I had had ended on an amicable note. I still considered these people my friends and vice versa. The only exception to that rule would be my ex-husband. He said he still loved me but I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. I had made that mistake once before and had no intentions of doing that again.
On the other hand, I didn’t know what Sammie did to her men ’cause once they had had her, they became obsessed. I couldn’t think of one of Sammie’s former lovers that she still considered a friend. If she ended the relationship they either hated her and wanted her dead, or they continued to stalk her, making her wish she were dead. I just didn’t understand. Sammie’s ex-boyfriends just might’ve run her down crossing the street. So when another of her old fuck buddies came into the club, I started sweating.
Oh shit,
I thought. Even though their relationship hadn’t lasted longer than a few months, he was very bitter and vocal about the breakup. She had duped him out of $750 and he wanted his money back. He felt like Sammie had just used him for his money and left him when things got tough which is essentially what she did. If he decided to nut up, I did not want to be in the way. I didn’t think he saw her but I wasn’t taking any chances.
Feeling the need to put space between them and me, I jumped off my stool and went off in search of Norman. I was so determined to find out what was really going on between us. All this staring and smiling was working on my nerves and I just had to know if he found me as attractive as I found him. I didn’t care what he was doing when I found him. He was going to be with me and that was it. As it turned out, he was alone, nursing a drink and welcomed the opportunity to dance again. We danced for the next hour and after we were through, we went off to a corner to get to know each other. I positioned myself so I could still see Sammie but I tried to tune her out as best I could.
Norman was thirty-three and single with a little girl named Allison. He said he was still on speaking terms with his baby’s mamma and that he actively participated in Allison’s life.
“So what does active participation mean?” I asked so that there would be no misunderstanding on my part.
“I get her every other weekend and one month during the summer,” he replied. “Does that bother you that I have a child?”
“Quite the contrary. I like men who spend time in the life of their children. I have two kids myself, Keira and Kevin. I hate men that act like once the relationship is over with the mother, the relationship with the children has to end. It takes a special man, in my opinion, to continue a relationship with the child after the love or lust, is gone for the mother.”
“And your children’s father, is he still in the picture?” he inquired.
“Barely. He lives in Baltimore. When we were there, he put conditions around seeing the children.”
“Conditions, I don’t understand.”
“He only wanted to see them when I was around. Since we moved to Atlanta, he has been here twice. My problem is that he calls and makes all these promises to the children and I have to look into their faces when they realize it is all a lie. I hate that shit. I would rather he not call at all if he is going to continue to set them up for disappointment.”
Norman nodded his head as if he could understand exactly where I was coming from. I didn’t want to get this deep and personal with him but it felt natural.
“Dang, it’s like that, huh?” he said, laughing and trying to lighten the mood.
“It’s really not funny when you are talking about your life. When we were first separated, he just wanted to come over to my house and hang out all damn day. I had enough of that when I was married to him. Although I didn’t keep him from the kids, I felt that if they were more of a priority to him, he would have made more of an effort before we left!”
“How long have you been in Atlanta?” he asked.
“We have been here since 1995. We got here right before the summer Olympic games so I guess that makes it six years!”
Thinking about my ex caused me to zone out of the conversation I was trying to have with Norman and I had to shake myself and regain my focus. Besides, this was not the time, nor the place to be having this type of discussion. We were already yelling to be heard over the music. I switched gears and tried to put the focus on him.
“Well, you sure haven’t been lonely ’cause every time I’ve seen you, you’ve been with a different female,” I said.
“Only ’cause I could not get with you.”
“Touché,” I said, laughing. “But there have been times when I was alone.”
“Tell the truth, those times were few and far between I didn’t notice. Plus, you never gave me any indication that you knew I existed. You seem so above all of this. When you enter the room, you look around and take inventory and if a brother does not have it together, you dismiss him. I’ve been watching you,” he said while waving his hand around the club.
I was busted and I could not even fake the funk. His comments made me take a good, hard look at myself. People often said that I appeared uppity and snobbish.
“That’s a club persona. I’m not like that once you get to know me.”
“Is that an invitation?” he slyly asked. He was so damn good-looking I had a hard time concentrating on what I was trying to say. I kept looking at his thick lips and wondering how they would feel against my body. That is what prolonged celibacy will do to a person. Make you equate everything that a man says to sex.
I ignored his question and continued to babble about nothing.
“The way my face is structured, if I’m not smiling I’m often told I look mean. But people couldn’t very well expect me to go around smiling all the time. I would look silly.” I tried explaining that to Norman but I don’t know if he really bought my story.
“You still did not answer my question. Is that an invitation?” he restated.
“If you want it to be,” I answered.
“So, are you going to give me your phone number if I ask for it?”
“Well, that depends on if you’re asking for it to use it or just to say you got the digits and then add them to your black book collection.”
“If you give it to me, I assure you, I will use it,” he quickly replied, showing all of his teeth in the process. I gave him my number and told him I would speak with him later. Under his gaze, I felt as though I was wrapped in a blanket of euphoria. Suddenly, I realized I hadn’t been paying attention to Sammie. I felt compelled to return to her side, fearing the worst.
Sammie was on the same stool I had left her on but my seat was taken. She was scanning the crowd looking for someone, I assumed Dickweed. I regained my seat just before her song, the Electric Slide, came on. This was the fat-girl-anonymous call to dance and she damn near knocked me over trying to get to the floor. She made a beeline to where Dickweed and his date were standing and stood right behind him. Every time she dipped down to the beat, she would grind her hips into his ass. I was embarrassed for Sammie and the girl he was with was livid. Dickweed did not even stumble while Sammie was grinding him and he was grinding the other girl. The shit would have been funny if I hadn’t known the principals. Sammie was oblivious to this girl’s attitude and did not miss a step in her moves. She acted like she was there with Dickweed, and the other girl had just magically appeared.
Sammie was in her element, what she lived for—chaos, conflict and confusion. The three C’s.
From where I was sitting, I went through a whole range of emotions. I looked around to see who was watching this spectacle and noticed with great dismay that Sammie’s second husband, Stanley, finally had noticed that she was in the club. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the girl Dickweed was with was seething. Obviously she was not used to sharing a man. She looked Sammie up and down as if to size her up and judging from the look on her face, she had decided she did not want any part of her. Sammie outweighed her 10 to 1 so she quickly stepped off. Instead of directing her anger toward Sammie she took it out on Dickweed. I was glad, too, ’cause I really was not in the fighting mood. I was not much of a fighter, but I would not let my girl get trashed if I could help it. That was just the code among friends the way I saw it. I would have jumped in throwing something other than punches if the situation got too ugly. Fortunately, girlfriend cussed out Dickweed and left the club leaving only Sammie and Dickweed on the floor.
I looked to my right and saw that Norman was standing right beside me. I didn’t even remember leaving my bar stool. He did not tap my arm or do anything to let me know that he was there but I appreciated his valor. Meanwhile, Dickweed was losing his fucking mind.
“Bitch, are you crazy?” he yelled at Sammie while getting all close up on her as if she was one of his boys on the basketball court and they were about to fight over a missed shot. I glanced to the right and saw that her ex-husband was nudging his way to the front of the crowd that was gathering around Sammie and Dickweed. Those words, “Bitch, are you crazy,” ignited a fire in me. I felt as though I had just been electrocuted. I did not even wait for Sammie to respond; I jumped right in.
“Who the fuck is you calling crazy bitch? She’s been
Your Bitch
for the past year so what does that make you, motherfucker? You slimy sack of shit!” I could feel pressure on my arm and looked down and saw that Norman was trying to restrain me because I was about to get straight-up ghetto on Dickweed. Sammie’s eyes were so big and round, I could tell just by the expression on her face that I was totally out of control and steadily losing ground. I was so far out there I was jumping around as if I was in the boxing ring about to knock a motherfucker out. I did not even notice the crowd as it swelled, anxious for the first punch or shot to be fired.
Acknowledging yet another squeeze on my arm, my sanity returned. Public outbursts were so not like me that I had to take a virtual step back from my own damn self. I asked myself why in the hell was I concerned; that motherfucker didn’t disrespect me. I loved Sammie but was it worth publicly embarrassing myself over her shit? I thought not.
“Look, I’m sorry,” I said to Dickweed. “This isn’t my fight. If Sammie wants to put up with your sorry broke ass, that’s on her.” I turned to Sammie and said, “I’m out, see you at the house.”
I turned and walked away. Norman was right beside me. The crowd that had gathered around us made it difficult to leave the area, but I just kept elbowing my way out of the circle and out of the club. Norman pulled me aside.
“Could you hold up for a minute? I really would like to see you again, all bullshit aside. I like what I see,” he said.
“After the way I just behaved?” I exclaimed already feeling deeply ashamed of myself.
“Now more so than ever,” he simply stated. “I was always attracted to you on a physical level but tonight you showed a fire in you that I have been looking for in a woman. I don’t like the kind of women that allow men to walk all over them. I want a woman that will stand up for what she believes. Marie, I definitely want to see where this leads.” He grabbed my hand and kissed my palm. Now I had had guys kiss my hand before but never my palm. It sent goose bumps up my spine and started my pussy to twitching. I sent my pussy an instant message and told it to chill the fuck out. There would be no playing tonight! It had been a while since my pussy had a good workout so I could relate to it acting that way, but I did not want to make a mistake with a club junkie that I would regret.
Men thought that they were the only ones who thought about sex. They would be surprised to know that we thought about it just as much or more as they did.
Norman was in for a challenge ’cause I didn’t go for the okie-doke like some of my female counterparts. If he wanted to get to know me, he was going to have to be prepared to deal with me. When it came to men, I was strictly on the up and up and I demanded the same thing that I gave out and then some.
He walked me to my car and we slid inside out of the cold night air and we talked for the next thirty minutes. The conversation was so nice, and he applied no pressure. He acted like he really wanted to get to know me. I started the car to take the chill off.
Eventually Sammie came out of the club with Dickweed in tow. I rolled my eyes at him and tried to stare Sammie down to make her come to her senses.