All That Drama (9 page)

My mother would knock the hell out of me if she saw me right now,
I thought. It was so out of character for me and I blamed it on the season. Halloween always brought out the devil in me! I shook my head to get rid of the unpleasant thoughts that followed. Dennis came back before I could completely talk myself out of going. I really wanted to go out and dance and this place just was not happening.

He followed me out to my car and said he would follow me to my house. I drove there and parked right in front and got into his car. He had a sporty Toyota of some sort but since I was not all that up on cars, the make and model escaped me. He shook his head as I climbed in.

“What?” I said, prepared to get back out again.

“Nothing. I just can’t believe that you were right around the corner and I didn’t know it.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“I’ll show you.” He drove around the corner to the next block. He lived on the very next street with the same house address as mine. “Fate,” he said while shaking his head. I did not know what to make of the information. He lived on the same street as David on different blocks. I doubted they were friends ’cause Dennis was at least five years his senior.

During the drive, Dennis told me that he was studying to be a psychoanalyst. He was most interested in phobias. He worked as an intake intern at Rosewood Mental Hospital and would complete school in the fall. I was impressed but didn’t quite believe his story. I was from the old “show me” school plus, I was not interested in him ’cause of his “profession.” I liked him ’cause he looked nice and knew how to treat a lady. He opened all the doors and grabbed my chair when I was sitting down. Those were the types of things that got my attention on the upsweep.

He told me that he was rebounding from a seven-year relationship with a woman with two kids. He admitted that he still loved her but that it was over. I confided in him about my marriage and the break-up. I did not tell him about my own case of rebounding from David. That was too much information.

Our first stop was Odell’s. It had a long line out front but Dennis knew the bouncer. We walked to the front of the line and went inside. The place was jumping. I used to have the hook-up with the old bouncer at that club but that was before I had gotten married. Everywhere I looked, there were people in costume. I felt more relaxed with the other partygoers.

My mother always frowned on celebrating Halloween. She said it was the devil’s night to play. She might have been right ’cause I sure felt devilish. I immediately pulled Dennis onto the dance floor. I thought I was going to show him some of my moves but he was time enough for me. We made a good couple dancing to the popular beats.

After a few records of non-stop dancing, the DJ slowed down the pace. I wanted to leave the floor for a cool drink but Dennis had other plans. He snatched me into his arms and molded his body against mine. I could feel his nature rising. I instantly tensed up but his body was feeling so good, I began to relax. His body felt good but different. Although David and I had not been together long, I knew every nuance of his body and this one was different. It was not unpleasant, just different. When the record ended, I quickly stepped back. I realized the last time I had slow danced with a man, I wound up in bed with him and it did not turn out so well. I didn’t want to make the same mistake with Dennis.

We agreed to leave Odell’s and go down the street to Gatsby, another club where he also had a hook-up. It catered to a more mature and sophisticated crowd. They had more places you could go where you could actually talk to your date without screaming at them. It also served alcohol and we both ordered a drink. I ordered a rum and Coke and Dennis stuck with the wine. I was glad since he was driving.

As we sat at the table, Dennis grabbed my right hand. “This mole, have you always had it?” he asked, referring to a one-eighth inch mole on my right hand. It was a flat mole and I didn’t pay much attention to it. It was just something that I’d always had.

“Ever since I can remember,” I said, examining my hand.

“Hmmm,” he said with no further explanation. Intrigued, I asked him why.

“Oh nothing.” He glanced at his watch and we both realized that we had been out for quite a while. It was approaching 3:00 a.m.

“What time do you turn into a pumpkin?” he asked with a smile.

I glanced at my watch as well and told him that I should be heading home. He paid our tab and we left. Our conversation on the way home was about the other people that were in the club and the costumes they wore. He made me laugh and I liked it. All too soon, we pulled in front of my house.

“See, I promised to get you back home safely,” he claimed.

“Thank you,” I said. “I really had a nice time.” I turned to get out of the car. He didn’t ask for my number and I damn sure was not going to throw it at him.

“Okay, can I make another promise?” he asked.

“Uh, what is it?” I said, suddenly feeling nervous after all the shit I had willingly done.

“Can I come in for a while? You’re not sleepy, are you?”

I thought about it for a moment and had to admit to myself that I wasn’t sleepy nor did I relish the thought of going into an empty home. It had been a long time since any house I was living in was empty for more than two seconds.

“Scouts’ honor?” I asked.

“Scouts’ honor,” he replied with the salute again. I opened the door and turned on the lights in the living room. I turned on the jazz station and fixed him another glass of wine. I also poured a glass for myself.

Once again, he grabbed my hand and studied my mole. At this point, I was scared. He was so intent in his scrutiny that I felt there was something wrong with me. I had heard about moles being cancerous.

“What?” I cried, drawing back my hand. “Why do you keep looking at my mole?” He offered his own right hand and he had a perfectly shaped mole in the exact same place as mine. We held up our hands to see if they were the same size and it appeared they were replicas.

Any ideas that I had about not having sex with him went straight out the window. We tore off each other’s clothes and headed upstairs to the bedroom. He was not as physically endowed as David but he was more than adequate and still put poor Keith to shame. Where he was lacking in David’s girth, he more than made up for it in initiative. We fucked like rabbits.

Exhausted, we lay in each other’s arms basking in the warm afterglow of sex. He again raised my hand to his face. At the time I thought he was going to kiss my mole. Instead, he turned his head, raised his own hand and licked off the drawing he’d made on his hand.

Son of a fucking bitch
, I thought. This nigga just played me! I wanted to get mad and all indignant but I had to look at myself. Mole or not, in my mind I had already made up my mind to screw him that night. I had been working my way up to it all night and if he used the subterfuge of a mole as an excuse to get it, I only had played myself.

So after I calmed down the question was, what now? Did he toss me aside like a used rag? Did I pretend to be tricked and wounded? Or, did we step off from there and see what happened?

“So what happened to your promise?” I asked.

“Uh, I kept my promise. I didn’t do anything to you that you didn’t want me to,” he replied. He had me there. Caught up in the moment, I wanted each and every inch of it. Afterward, I was feeling pangs of regret but I refused to beat up on myself. Sure I was on the wild side since Keith and I had broken up, but I was finding out what sex was all about. No longer was it a burden or curse; the shit was fun. For the moment, David was pushed out of my brain and I only concentrated on Dennis as we started round two.

I
arrived at work breathless and in the nick of time. That’s what I got for staying up half the night fucking. But it was well worth it. It was just what I needed to get out of the blue funk I was in over David. Around 10:00, I got word from the receptionist that there was a delivery for me. I strolled to the front lobby and picked up a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses.

“Damn girl,” Carla said. “You did somebody right.”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” I answered, taking my bouquet and hurrying back to my office to read the card. I could tell Carla was pissed that I didn’t offer to share the card but she was the biggest gossip in the office. Nine times out of ten, she had already read the card anyway. I didn’t want my business spreading through the building like that.

The card said, “You can dance on my face anytime you want!” It was unsigned but I was sure it was from Dennis. We were supposed to go to lunch that day. I was interrupted from my reenactment by the shrill ring of the phone.

“Marie Morgan, may I help you?” I answered in my most professional tone of voice.

“May I speak with Marie Morgan,” an authoritative voice replied.
Duh, did they not just hear me introduce myself,
I thought.

“You are speaking with her,” I responded, still trying to be a professional.

“This is Lieutenant Jones from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. May I speak with you about a matter of utmost secrecy?”

“Yes, hold on for a minute.” I got up from my desk and went to close my door. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I had no idea why someone from the FBI would be calling me.

“I’m back,” I said.

“Ms. Morgan, you were seen in the company of a suspected rapist yesterday evening.”

“Excuse me?” Surely I did not hear him correctly.

“Yes, Ms. Morgan. You were seen with Dennis Edwards at Club Gatsby last night and he is the number one suspect we have in several rape cases in the Baltimore, Washington, D.C. area.”

I was truly outdone. I could’ve understood it if they were talking about Dennis’ friend whose name I had forgotten, but Dennis, no fucking way! Hell, I gave my shit to him on a silver platter.

“Ms. Morgan, we need your cooperation. Are you planning to see him again?”

“We were supposed to go to lunch but I’m not going now!” I stuttered.

“NO!” He shouted back at me. “The suspect must not know that we are on to him. You need to keep your date.”

“You want me to become a target or potential victim?” I inquired, still stunned and pretending to myself that I hadn’t already slept with him. Hell, for all I knew, the FBI had followed us home last night and knew that he had spent the night.

“You will be closely guarded. Just act natural,” he said as if his request was the most normal thing in the world.

“Act normal!” I screeched as if he were talking in a foreign fucking language. “I’m not the type. I’ll panic and he will know the gig is up. Hell, I’m so nervous now I can barely hold the phone.” I needed a cigarette so badly I was shaking, but I worked in a smoke-free environment. “Look, I’m not the one to help you Mr. Whatever the fuck your name is.”

“Marie, it’s me,” Dennis said, trying to hold back his laughter.

“Look, Mr. FBI man, I got kids. I can’t be putting my life in danger…”

“Calm down, baby. It’s me!” Dennis said again. I rambled for a full two minutes more before I realized what he was saying. He got me again. Luckily, I like practical jokers. That appealed to me and I was already trying to figure out how I was going to get him back.

“Did you get the roses?” he asked sweetly as if he did not just catch me in the biggest joke ever.

“You motherfucker!” I exclaimed. I was upset but I could not really get mad at a brother who fucked me like he did last night. Shit, I wasn’t stupid.

That was the start of many star-filled days and nights. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I had never had a man treat me like Dennis. He took me to movies, plays, romantic walks along the Inner Harbor, concerts at the pier, bicycle rides through the park. He valued my opinion about everything regarding his career choices and his life. He was the first man to actually listen to everything that I had to say and pay attention. I thought it was a match made in heaven. I totally understood when he had to study and was ready to play when he was available. Life was good.

Although I still had flashbacks of the hot sex I used to have with David, I was content with my lot in life. Dennis did not play with the children like David but they didn’t seem to mind his presence. In hindsight, we mostly got together when I had a baby-sitter. Despite this fact, I fell in love. I loved the romantic dinners and weekend getaways. We even went roller-skating and I busted my ass enough to prove it. We were sitting in the bathtub one night when he told me he loved me. I had been fighting those words for months. They scared me ’cause they put a label on our bliss.

“I can see us together, as family,” he said while nibbling on my toes. “Our children will be so beautiful; I want at least two.”

A brisk breeze blew my way like someone had turned on the cold water in our tepid bath. Was he thinking about more kids? I don’t think so! Snatching my toe from his mouth, I drew my knees up to my chest. “I can’t have any more kids and furthermore, I don’t want any more.” He did not respond immediately. In fact he was pretty much silent for the rest of the night. Normally, we would have left the tub and made passionate love for the rest of the night. I was concerned but I thought he would get over it.

He didn’t. He called me the next day and told me our relationship held too many paradoxes for him. His past relationship was with a woman who didn’t want any more kids; she had two (boy and girl) and he wanted to take a break from us. What was I to say? He had made his decision. Once again, a man put me on the back burner. Hell, I was used to that.

Because our relationship was so special, I didn’t believe him when he told me that we should start dating other people. In fact, I didn’t even react to the women that he told me he was meeting while we were on break. I just sat back and took it until he told me about the Amazon Queen. She was about 6′2”, 185 pounds and was very straightforward. She had no kids and was ready to make Dennis her man. Then, I got pissed. I began to say yes to some of the men who approached me. One guy in particular set my shoes on fire. He was from Jamaica and he was fucking gorgeous. Jamal was lightskinned with dreads; he had light brown eyes and a body that would stop a clock.

I agreed to meet him one night at Fargo’s. Dennis called as I was getting dressed.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he said.

“I am getting ready for a date,” I replied. This was the first date that I had been on since Dennis had called it quits.

“Oh yeah, where are you going?”

“Fargo’s,” I said with a tightening in my chest. I felt like I was betraying him even though he had been actively dating for the last couple of months.

“No kidding. I’m going there tonight as well. You want to ride with me or is your date picking you up?”

“I’m meeting him there. Are you sure you want to do this? Are you meeting the Amazon Queen?” I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

“Nope. I’m hanging solo tonight but I could use the company on the drive.” I thought about it for a minute and agreed. Since I hated to drive, it would be perfect. If Jamal didn’t work out, Dennis could bring me back home. Secretly I hoped that Dennis would come back to his senses once he saw me with someone else.

We arrived at the club and I walked around trying to spot Jamal. When I didn’t see him, I danced a few records with Dennis. He was feeling confident that my date had stood me up. But his elation stopped when I leaned into him and said, “It’s him. Jamal is here.”

“Where?” he said, looking around the club. I pointed Jamal out as he walked over towards us.

“Jamal, Dennis. Dennis, Jamal.”

“Hey, man, what’s up,” Dennis said. Jamal kissed me on the cheek and asked me to dance. I smiled at Dennis and moved out on the dance floor with my new beau. Dennis didn’t think I had a date. On the inside I smiled. Every time I looked over at Dennis I could tell that he didn’t like this new turn of events, but he had made the decision, not me. I was just playing by his rules.

When we made our way back to the table, Dennis said, “Is he going to take you home ’cause I need to leave.” We had only been there an hour so I did not see the urgency I heard in his voice.

“Jamal, I came with Dennis. Will you take me home or do I need to leave now?”

“I’ll take you home, beautiful; no worries, mon.” I turned to Dennis and shrugged my shoulders.

“I guess I’m riding with him,” I said.

“Oh, okay, I’ll see you later. Nice meeting you, man,” he said and left the club. He looked back once and I could see the pain on his face but what was I supposed to do? The whole thing was his idea. Our relationship was truly over at that point. Before, even though we were not sleeping together, he called at least three times a week. After that night, I heard nothing from him unless I called him. Go figure.

Jamal distracted me for a minute but he was only looking for a fuck buddy. I was after the long haul and he did not fit the bill. I never told Dennis since it was really none of his business. I let him think that we were an item and he treated me with kid gloves after meeting Jamal. Dennis’ whole attitude changed towards me. He stopped making his weekly calls and we never just hung out anymore. I was so absorbed in concentration that I almost missed the phone ringing.

“Marie, it’s Mom. You need to come right away.”

“Mom, what’s wrong? You are scaring me! What’s wrong?” I screamed into the phone.

“It’s your father. He is in the hospital. Hurry!” She hung up the phone.

I grabbed the Yellow Pages and immediately started dialing the airport. The first flight that I could get was at 8:00 in the morning. I packed enough clothes for us for a week and made our flight.

Dad was dead by the time I got to the hospital. They had just announced his death to my mother as we were running down the hall. I could hear my mother’s wail long before we approached the family waiting room.

“Sweet Jesus no!” I screamed as I rounded the corner. Surely my father could not have been that seriously ill—the man had never been really sick in his life. Mom had collapsed on the floor. The doctor attempted to collect her and I yelled out, “Don’t touch her!” I dropped to my knees and cradled my mother in my arms. I wanted to tell her everything would be okay but that lie would not escape my lips.

“Mom, I’m here now,” I said as the children crowded around us on the floor.

“He’s gone, baby,” she said. I looked around the room wondering what mom was talking about. Surely she could not be talking about my dad. Not him—he was too ornery to die. I looked her straight in the eye and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Daddy was dead. I was devastated.

We stumbled through the funeral in a daze of hurt and pain. I think I helped my mother but I could not be sure. My children were the most affected because I was emotionally unavailable to them. My mother’s friend approached me about a job and I agreed to interview for it before I left. I did it to go through the motions, not ’cause I seriously considered the job. I did it ’cause I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought I did it to please my mother but had no intentions of actually taking it, especially when they told me they could not meet my salary requirements.

I was shocked when I got home and heard the message on my answering machine that they wanted me to come back for the job. So, there it was; my big decision was on the table. I had to weigh what I had in Baltimore, what I stood to lose and what I stood to gain. After looking around, I realized that there was really nothing in Baltimore to hold me. Mom needed me and to be honest, I needed her. I was Atlanta bound. I accepted the job offer and told them I would be there in two weeks.

I went back to work and gave my notice. I had been with the same law firm for over ten years and my notice came with mixed reactions. My immediate boss, Paula, got pissed and would not talk to me. I tried to explain why I was leaving but she was not hearing me. I finally said, “Damn, Donna, I’m leaving the fucking state, not you!” She relented.

I had a lot to do to sever my ties with Baltimore. I started packing and making moving arrangements. I could not fly back to Atlanta with all my stuff and I had no intentions of leaving them behind. My stuff may not have been quality but it was still mine. I started looking into renting a truck. I got prices on different truck lines and found Ryder to be the cheapest, but the only problem was I could not drive a damn truck.

David learned of my Dad’s death from Sherry and we had been speaking on a fairly regular basis since I had gotten back. Although we had not resumed a physical relationship, he was supportive. He called me the night I finally made my decision.

“The kids and I are moving to Atlanta,” I said during the lull in conversation. He didn’t say anything and I peeped at the phone to make sure we were still connected. Part of me wanted him to cry out, “Baby, don’t go,” but the other part of me knew that was not going to happen.

“Oh yeah, when?” he asked.