He was gone, of course.
For someone claiming to both mortal and an old guy, he moves damn quick
.
Joyce was already in the office by the time Jin got there. "Look, I'm sorry I'm late -- "
"What are you talking about? You're not late."
Jin glanced at the wall clock then and realized that Joyce was right. She had arrived on time almost to the minute. "Ummm, ok.
You're
early." Jin thought her assumption of lateness quite reasonable. Joyce was a punctual sort whom one expected to arrive at 8:00AM on the dot, so it followed that if Jin arrived after Joyce, then Jin was late. Only she wasn't.
Joyce just shrugged. "Got a tough case needs a referral. Thought I'd get going."
"Ok," Jin said again, since she wasn't quite sure what else to say. Joyce's early arrival had thrown Jin for a loop, and she wasn't sure why. It wasn't just the violation of routine. Joyce seemed...distracted. Joyce was never distracted. Jin had rarely met a more focused individual in her life, with the possible exception of her mother. Though in Kathleen Margaret Hannigan's case she tended to focus on different things at different times, and when the current obsession lost its magic, there was always another. Not like Joyce, whose attention and devotion to the Legal Aid Office was a measured, predictable devotion, which usually kept regular hours. Jin saw the empty coffee cup and crumpled bits on paper filling Joyce's waste basket and realized she'd come into the office quite early indeed.
"Have you seen Teacher lately?" Joyce asked.
Jin was startled out of her musing. "Oh...yes, a couple of times. Why?"
"No problems?"
"I told you, he's harmless." Jin knew she had been wrong about that much but, in this case, it wasn't the kind of 'harmless' Joyce was asking about.
"Well...maybe. But I meant what I said about being careful, mind you."
While Joyce said all this she wasn't even looking at Jin. She was staring intently at something on her desk. Jin managed to go for the coffee machine by such a route that she managed a glimpse of what Joyce was studying so intently. Which turned out to be a blank sheet of paper.
"Are you all right?" Jin asked.
"Fine. Just tired. Would you check on those filings from yesterday?" Joyce turned over the sheet of paper, which was also blank on the other side. After a moment she turned it back to the other blank side. Jin took her coffee back to her desk, since she wasn't sure what else she could do. Maybe Joyce would be willing to talk later, since she clearly wasn't in the mood right then. She concentrated on her own paperwork for a while, but found herself stealing glances at Joyce. One hour stretched into two. Joyce had put aside the blank sheet of paper some time before and now appeared to be doing actual work herself, but her mind was clearly elsewhere.
This isn't like Joyce. What's going on
?
That's when Jin finally saw it. A little dark blob on Joyce's right shoulder. Startled, Jin found herself starting to change.
Da shi
...?
She started to rise, find some excuse to get out of the room before Joyce saw her turn into a demon, but in that moment her vision blurred suddenly as if both eyes had been filled with tears without any warning. In another moment her vision cleared.
Her vision was, in fact, clearer than before. She noticed more than one strange thing in the next few seconds, but one most of all: perched on Joyce's right should was neither a shadow or a dark blob, but a very small creature. It was perhaps six inches high, jet black except for its horns and teeth, which were the white of bleached bones. The thing appeared to be whispering into Joyce's ear, for all that she seemed to take no notice of it at all.
What the hell
...
Before Jin could rush forward or shout a warning, or any of the things she thought she meant to do, without actually
thinking
about either, of course, the thing straightened up from where it had been hunkered down by Joyce's ear and it looked straight at her.
YOU NEEDN'T SHOUT. I CAN HEAR YOU FINE.
The voice was entirely in her head, for all that she knew beyond any question that it belonged to the little imp perched on Joyce's shoulder. Jin's mouth worked silently. She raised her hand to point, or to ward the creature off, she wasn't really sure, and noticed dully that her
Da Shi
transformation had reversed itself.
OH, PLEASE. SIT DOWN BEFORE SHE SEES YOU!
Jin sat down, feeling rather foolish, but now she deliberately directed her thoughts at the imp.
You're hearing what I'm thinking
!
OF COURSE, BECAUSE YOUR INTENTION IS TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME. HOW ELSE CAN WE TALK WITHOUT THE CLIENT HEARING US?
Jin blinked.
Client
?
The creature nodded at Joyce. YOU HAVE ANOTHER WORD FOR IT?
She's my friend! What do you think you're doing
?!
MY JOB, OF COURSE. MY LORD DID WARN US ABOUT YOUR CURRENT CONFUSED STATE, BUT FRANKLY I DIDN'T QUITE BELIEVE IT UNTIL NOW.
Your 'Lord'?
EMMA-O, YAMA...I THINK YOU KNOW HIM AS DAI SHI JOHNSON.
Teacher
...
THAT, TOO. HE'S GOT ALMOST AS MANY NAMES AS YOU DO. LISTEN, I REALLY SHOULD BE GETTING BACK TO WORK NOW. IF YOU STILL HAVE QUESTIONS, YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE IT UP WITH HIM.
You think I'm going to just watch while you do...whatever
?
THEN DON'T WATCH. CLOSE YOUR EYE.
Jin closed her eyes, but she still saw the demon. "Why..."
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SEEING ME WITH YOUR PHYSICAL EYES, OF COURSE. YOU'RE WATCHING ME WITH YOUR SPIRIT EYE, THE THIRD EYE. CLOSE THAT.
I don't know how
!
The imp shrugged. WHAT'S TO KNOW? DO IT.
Jin opened her eyes. There was Joyce staring at her paper, there was the small demon looking disgusted. Jin took a deep breath and then just imagined an eye closing. She imagined the lid coming down, the view fading to black. In another moment the demon had disappeared. Joyce looked up and noticed Jin staring at her.
"Is something wrong, Jin?"
"Ah, no. Just worried about you, I guess."
Joyce grunted. "Nice for someone to worry about me for a change. Though I still think that Teacher guy needs watching."
Jin didn't disagree. Though she thought that, up till now, she could be forgiven for thinking more about here own role in this mess rather than the scope of Teacher's duties. Which, apparently, included "Boss of Working Stiff Demons." There was something clearly blue-collar and no-nonsense about the imp on Joyce's shoulder. She could no longer see it, but she knew it could hear her.
What are you saying to Joyce
?
I'M TELLING HER THAT SHE'S UNWORTHY OF THE JERK SHE'S LIVING WITH AND DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE SHIT.
That's a lie! She's the strongest, most together person I know
!
SO WHY DOES SHE BELIEVE ME?
That stopped Jin cold for several seconds.
But
...
FOR PETE'S SAKE -- DO I TELL YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB, IMMANENT ONE? IF YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM, TAKE IT UP WITH MANAGEMENT.
After a moment or two Jin remembered who "Management" was.
I believe I'll do that
.
Joyce closed the office early that afternoon, pleading a migraine. Jin just took a right into the alley by the flower shop. For a full minute as she walked there was nothing in the alley but trash, broken asphalt, and dirt. Jin was beginning to think that Teacher was trying keep her out again when the air seemed to shimmer around her and she was walking down the long corridor between double rows of grinning effigies on her way to the entrance to All the Hells. She found Teacher there by the dais as if he'd been waiting for her.
"Teacher -- " she began, but he didn't even let her finish. He glanced at his strange watch and sighed.
"Jin, didn't I tell you: 'no more questions'?"
"Teacher, did you think for one sodding moment I'd agree to that?"
In the distance the two guardians were in their usual poses, trying to pretend they weren't listening. Teacher leaned back against the dais and glanced up into the smiling, beatific golden face of Guan Yin as if seeking help. "Fuss all you want, I can't tell you how to be Guan Yin. Isn't that what you really want to know?"
"What I want to know is why you sent that imp to torment poor Joyce!"
"She's in Hell, Jin. Is there some part of the concept that you still don't understand?"
"Maybe all of it. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that!"
Teacher shrugged. "So why is she letting it happen? And when is she going to stop?"
"You're blaming the victim, Teacher."
He shook his head. "You're casting Joyce in that role, not me. For that matter, so is she. If you're so distressed by her suffering, why don't you free her?"
Jin seriously considered punching him again. "I don't know how," she said finally.
He nodded as if the matter were self-evident. "If you don't know how, then she isn't ready for Guan Yin. Do I sense a connection? Contrast that, perhaps, with the man in the fish and chips shop yesterday."
Jin blinked. "You know about that?"
"Yes, and so do you. Let's remember it together, shall we?" Teacher reached out an touched Jin on the shoulder before she could react. In that instant, Jin was back in Juney's Café on Jemmerson street. She heard the murmur of conversation at the surrounding tables, heard the sizzle as Karl slapped a burger onto the grill, smelled the meat cooking. There was a well-dressed, balding man at the condiment island. He was very calmly and methodically picking up lemon slice after lemon slice from the crisper and dropping them into a large glace of iced tea.
Weird old guy
...
He was trying to get one more slice into a glass that couldn't possibly hold another when Jin reached for the ketchup and accidentally brushed against him.
"They're just lemons," she had said aloud after the shock of her touch had made him spill half his drink on the counter. "You don't need to possess them all."
In that instant he was gone as if he'd never been. In another instant Jin was back in the Gateway with Teacher.
"Your memory, Jin. Was his problem a fascination with lemons?"
She shook her head. "Of course not. It was greed and a lifetime in pursuit of things he didn't really want or need, just as a way of keeping score."
"Right. And in his case all it took was one simple statement from you to that effect, at the right time and the right place and he vanished from Medias and left no traces. If he had family, they no longer remembered him, or they did remember they believed he had been gone for some time. Business organization charts altered, payrolls and insurance rolls followed suit. You could practically see the hole closing around the place where the man had been."
"Just as it was as if I'd never owned a cat named Missus Tickles. My mother thought I'd made the whole thing up."
Teacher nodded. "Just so. They were ready. Joyce is not."
Jin knew that was the truth, even if she didn't want to. She tried another angle.
"Even so, if there's an imp on one shoulder, shouldn't there be an angel on the other? Isn't that fair?"
Teacher looked exasperated. "Fair? We're not dividing a pack of cookies here, Jin. Your friend has to be ready to understand, and to help herself or nothing is going to change for her. And just to be clear -- I didn't set the demon on Joyce, if that's what you think."
"Ummm, then who did?"
"
She
did. Not consciously, but she's trying to learn something, and strange as this may sound, the demon is helping her do it. There's nothing about her situation that requires a Guan Yin. Yet."
Jin scowled. "So what good is being Guan Yin if I can't even help a friend?"
Teacher shrugged. "I'm told that perfectly ordinary people help each other all the time. Or is there some other definition of 'friendship' that I don't know about?"
Jin just stared at him for several long moments before she shook her head wearily.
"Tell me, am I a complete and utter fool or do I just feel like one?"
Teacher's expression was pure joy. "Tempted as I am, only you can answer that one. I suggest you work on it."
(())
Chapter 5
On her way out Jin paused at the two guardian statues. They merely looked large, fierce, and stony, as was their habit.
"You two were in my dream," she said.
They didn't say anything. There was still enough of the old Jin present to consider that, perhaps, she should feel a bit foolish about talking to statues, but that echo was fading rapidly. Now she only sighed, and decided to get a little more specific.
"You were there, weren't you?"
YES, they replied in unison, which is the way they seemed to do most things so far as Jin could see.
"So why aren't you two standing at the entrance to Medias? This isn't the way I came."
THIS IS THE WAY YOU NEED TO GO.
Actually, Jin had the same feeling. A kind of tug at the edge of her perception. That didn't change the fact that being told what she had to do or needed to do was getting a bit old. Jin put her hands on her hips. "And who, pray tell, said so?"
YOU DID. YOU MAY NOT HAVE BEEN AWARE OF IT, BUT YOU DID COMMAND US. WE ARE WHAT WE ARE, AND IN THE REALM OF DOORS AND PASSAGES, WE DO NOT MAKE MISTAKES. THE ORDER CAME FROM YOU.
Jin thought about it. "Suppose I commanded you to show me the way back to Medias?"
Jin heard a creaking sounds as if the stone of the guardians themselves was trying to turn and face each other. She got a definite feeling that the two statues were discussing the matter.
WE WOULD COMPLY, they said finally.
Jin crossed her arms. "Good to know, but I sense a 'however' coming. What is it?"
SOMEONE REALLY NEEDS YOUR HELP NOW. AND THEY ARE NOT IN MEDIAS. WHY WOULD YOU NOT WISH TO GO WHERE YOU'RE NEEDED?
Offhand, Jin could think of a lot of reasons, but none that didn't make her feel a little ashamed of herself. She was coming to terms with the idea that she was, in fact, the mortal incarnation of Guan Yin, since her only other option was to come to terms with the idea that she was barking mad. That meant that she could no more ignore the responsibility that came with that knowledge than a tiger could peel off its stripes. Mortal, limited, and all, she
was
Guan Yin, and she would do what Guan Yin needed to do.