I fluttered my tongue against her clit once more, waited for the resulting whimper, then raised my head and said, “You want to come, don’t you?”
She moaned the closest thing to a “yes” she could probably manage at that point, especially with the tip of my thumb filling in for my tongue on her clit.
Just before I went down on her again, I whispered, “Then come.”
No sound escaped her lips, nor did any air, and her body went limp. A violent tremor surged up her spine, then another, then another, and every last one made me that much more desperate to be inside her. With every tremor, every violent, delicious tremor, I wanted her even more. I wanted to feel her come this way while I fucked her, and I wanted her to take me over that edge with her.
And thank God we’d had the foresight to grab the condoms out of my bedroom before we’d gone over to her side to take a shower.
As I sat up and grabbed one of those condoms off her nightstand, Amy moaned and squeezed her thighs together. Her pupils were blown, her eyelids heavy, and that didn’t help my hands manipulate the wrapper and the condom, but I got it on as quickly as I could because I couldn’t wait.
I was over her again. She parted her legs, and we both shuddered as I guided my cock to her. From the first inch I slid into her, my vision blurred, white sparks glittering at the edges of my vision. For the first time in my life, I was thankful for the condom, because without it, I’d have been gone far too quickly, and this
couldn’t
be over quickly.
“Faster, Dustin,” Amy whispered. “Please, please, fast—”
I cut her off with a kiss. She wrapped her arms around me, and we both moaned as I slid my cock into her again. Moving together, we found a perfect rhythm, our bodies synchronizing in a complex, ever-changing sequence of faster-slower-faster. Neither of us took the lead, neither of us consciously controlled the way we moved; we simply knew and did. Every time the speed changed, I inched closer to delirium, losing myself in the blur of rising and falling hips and heartbeats.
My senses were so overwhelmed, everything seemed to blend together. My pounding heart kept perfect time with the pulses of electricity rippling up my spine, and the shining bead of sweat on her temple coincided with the salty moisture on my own upper lip.
I rolled onto my back, taking her with me so she was on top now. Her balance wavered, and she caught herself on trembling arms, closing her eyes and moaning as we found our rhythm once again.
When I was sure she’d steadied herself, I said, “Sit up.”
With some effort, she pushed herself upright, leaning back and resting one hand on my leg to keep her balance. I held her hips, pushing her upward with my own.
“Keep moving,” I whispered. “Just let me…”
Let me feel you. Let me see you
. Her face was flushed, her hair wet and disheveled, her eyes half-closed. Sweat—hers, mine, ours—shimmered on her skin, catching the light in little candle flickers as she rode me slowly.
She let her head fall back as she came down again and again, our bodies moving together slower than ever before. I watched my hands slide up and down the smooth curve of her waist, stringy tendrils of dark, wet hair curled beside her face and fell over her shoulders above her breasts, which bounced in time with her flawless, unchanging rhythm.
Jesus Christ, Amy, you’re fucking beautiful
.
“Oh my God,” she murmured. A shudder broke her rhythm, if only for a second. She fell forward, slumping over me in the same instant I took a breath to tell her how amazing she felt, and I caught the scent of
us
, and I managed one last upward thrust before I came deep inside her. It was impossible to tell who came first or whose orgasm triggered whose. All I knew was that her helpless, surrendered moans mingled with mine, and through my electrified haze of oblivion, nothing had ever sounded hotter.
We both exhaled hard, shuddered simultaneously, and relaxed. I held her close and stroked her hair while our bodies shook with aftershocks, closing my eyes as I breathed her in.
We separated just long enough for me to get rid of the condom, then collapsed together on her bed. There we lay in silence for the longest time. Long after the trembling had ceased, we still didn’t speak.
And whispering alongside my still-pounding heart, some quiet voice in the back of my mind asked the question I couldn’t begin to answer:
Dustin, what the hell are you doing?
Chapter Twenty-One
Amy
I rested my head on Dustin’s shoulder and closed my eyes as he ran his hand up and down my arm. Guilt tried to wrap itself around that warm, satisfied feeling, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t ignore it. I couldn’t ignore the guilt any more than I could ignore how much I wanted Dustin and how perfect everything was when we were in bed together.
Dustin finally broke the silence. “What are we doing?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. I really don’t.”
He shifted onto his side and pushed himself up onto his arm. “Is this… just a one-time thing to get it out of our systems again?”
Oh, Dustin. You are nowhere near out of my system.
“That didn’t work before,” I said softly. “Why would it now?”
His eyebrows rose a little. “Which leaves us with…what?”
Closing my eyes, I shook my head. “I don’t even know.”
Touching my face, he said, “Are you even ready for something like this? Whatever it is?”
“Even if I am, I can’t stay here forever,” I said, trailing my fingers along his jaw like I needed to memorize every inch of his stubbled skin. “You and I both know that.”
Dustin nodded. He closed his fingers around my hand and turned his head to kiss my palm. “I know you can’t.”
“And am I ready for it?” I released a long, ragged breath. I couldn’t even make myself look at him, because his blue eyes and that flush of pink over his sharply defined cheekbones made me weaker than I already was. “I don’t even know. All I know is…I like it. Here, now, I like it.”
“Me too,” he said.
I ran my fingers through his damp hair. “I don’t want to lead you on. I can only give you so much right now, and I can’t pretend that isn’t true.”
“And I don’t want anything from you that you’re not ready to give.”
“So what do we do?”
“Well.” He took and released a deep breath. “We obviously aren’t so great at resisting this, so I guess we might as well enjoy it for what it is.” He leaned in to kiss me, adding a whispered, “And not worry about what it isn’t.”
I wrapped my arms around him. “I like that idea.”
“Do you?” He grinned. “I thought you might.” He leaned down and kissed me, then worked his way down my jaw to my throat. His soft lips and warm breath on my neck sent shivers through me.
Digging my fingers into his shoulders, I said, “If we’re going to do this at all…” I bit my lip as his stubble grazed my collarbone.
“Hmm?”
I licked my lips and shivered beneath him. “You need to do something next time you go into town.”
He raised his head, furrowing his brow. “What?”
I grinned. “Get more condoms.” Raising my head off the pillow, I whispered, “We’re going to need them.”
And there was nothing left to say.
The relentless ache in my hips just made me smile as I moved horses around and went through my to-do list. After two more unsuccessful attempts at riding Blue, plus a solid week of nights in Dustin’s bed, it was a miracle I could move at all. Needless to say, I wasn’t complaining.
Once the horses were fed and turned out and I’d picked out the stalls, I had some time before I needed to bring horses in. Perfect time to go check fences around the property and see which ones were in need of repairs.
I stuffed a handful of orange ribbons in my pocket. Then I put Blue’s halter on and led him out of his stall so he could come with me. As he had the last several times we’d done this, he plodded happily beside me on the way out to the back pastures. He probably would have been content to just go on walks for the rest of his life and not bother with all that riding nonsense.
I started at the far corner of the property and worked my way along the westernmost fence, checking boards and posts for problems. The Kings were very vigilant about keeping their fences in good repair—that was why I was out here twice a week to check every post and board—so there wasn’t a ton of damage, but one of the mares who was always turned out in this paddock was half-termite, I was sure of it. Or maybe it was one of the yearlings. The damage was too high for a weanling. Well, unless he put his front hooves on the board while he chewed. Knowing some of the babies, that was a possibility.
I tied an orange ribbon around a damaged post, making sure the knot was on the outside so no one ate that too. The board below it needed to be marked too, I pulled another ribbon out of my pocket, and as it rustled and fluttered, Blue didn’t even flinch. Not long ago, he would jump out of his skin every time I brought one out, snorting at it and eyeballing it like it was a venomous snake.
Now? He was too busy checking out the grass that was nice and lush thanks to the unusually heavy rains recently.
“Come on, you.” I tugged his lead rope.
He grabbed one more mouthful of grass, then brought his head up and followed me as he munched happily. We wandered along the fence line, pausing now and again so I could jiggle a board or a post to make sure they were secure.
A bird exploded out of a bush and shot upward. Blue shied away, taking a couple of steps away as he snorted and stared at the deadly bush.
“Easy,” I said, pretending the bird hadn’t sent my own heart rate up a few notches. I tugged Blue’s rope again. “Come on. It was just a bird.”
Blue gave the bush another wary look, then fell into step beside me.
It was so strange seeing him like this. Even the most bombproof horse would have jumped when that bird flew out of the bush, but a few weeks ago, Blue would have been halfway back to the barn before I realized what was happening. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was reacting to things like a normal horse instead of one who was terrified of everything.
Of course, there was still the problem of riding him. He was tense when we ground-drove him, spooked at everything in the arena or round pen, and he’d flipped his damned lid all three times I had tried to ride him, as the bruises under my clothes could attest.
But out here, he was a different horse. A completely different horse.
I stroked his face. He was so relaxed right now. Plodding along on his walks like a happy puppy. Stealing a bite of grass here, snorting at the odd chipmunk there, and occasionally nibbling at my pocket in search of a treat. This was not the same gelding who’d shaken and perspired in the round pen before unloading me repeatedly until we finally gave up.
There was no round pen out here. No saddle. No bridle. Nothing to scare him or bring back memories he couldn’t communicate beyond his obvious fear.
And I wondered…
What if I could get on him out here, away from all the things that triggered his fight-or-flight instinct? Of course, being ridden at all could very well have been a trigger in its own right, but maybe he’d been mistreated in a round pen. Or every time he’d taken a bit, he’d had his mouth ripped apart. Hadn’t it taken us almost twenty minutes to get him to take the bit yesterday? It was entirely possible he’d developed a Pavlovian response to the weight, the smell, or even the sound of a saddle.
None of those things existed out here.
It was a stupid thing to do. Especially alone and this far from the barn. Deep down, I knew this, but something told me I had to at least
try
. Just for a minute. I’d get on him, see if he’d let me stay on his back, and then I’d get off. Better to have someone else around when I rode a traumatized horse for the first time, just in case something went wrong.
But…he was calm. Quiet. Completely relaxed. Curiosity would kill this cat if I didn’t at least give it a try.
While he munched on some grass beside the muddy, well-worn trail between the pastures, I gave him some more slack on the lead rope, and then casually moved from standing beside his neck to his shoulder. Then his back. After a moment, I reached up and draped my arm over his back. He glanced at me but didn’t seem too concerned.
I led him to the fence. I didn’t need a fence or a mounting block to get on most horses bareback, not even the almost-seventeen-hand warmblood I’d ridden years ago, but I wanted to take it slow with Blue. Swinging myself onto his back from the ground probably wasn’t the way to go.
Once he was next to the fence, I clipped one end of the lead rope to the side of his halter and tied the other end to the other side, fashioning a makeshift set of reins. I laid the rope across his neck and positioned myself between Blue and the fence.
I’d fixed this fence just last week, so I knew the board and its nails were good and solid as I stepped onto it. Back to the fence, heels balanced on the board, I leaned over Blue, stretching my arms over him.
He swung his head back, peering at me as if to say,
Just what do you think you’re doing back there?
I reached for his face, keeping my other arm over his back, and let him sniff my hand.