All the Ugly and Wonderful Things (16 page)

I nodded.

“Wow, that guy really did a number on you.”

“Are you her mother?” the deputy said.

“Yes, I am. I'm Valerie Quinn. I'm not sure why I had to get out of bed at o'dark-thirty to come tell you that, but here I am.” Sandy wasn't like me. She always sounded sweet, even when she was mad.

“I'm sorry, Mrs. Quinn, but you can see why we were concerned about her being out so late with him.”

“No, I guess I don't see.”

“I wasn't sure her parents knew where she was.”

“Well, of course, I knew she was with him. Don't you think I'd be out looking for her if I didn't know where she was?”

“I just wanted to be sure,” the deputy said.

“Is that all? Are we free to go?”

“Yes, ma'am, but can I just say? You ought to keep an eye on your girl. You shouldn't ought to let her out with a man like—”

“Thank you so very much for the advice. We're gonna go now, if that's okay?”

I got up when Sandy did, but before we could walk out, the deputy reached across the desk and handed me a piece of paper.

“If you ever need anything, Wavy Quinn, you call me,” he said. That's what was written on the paper, his name—Deputy Leon Vogel—and his phone number. I stuck it in my pocket and followed Kellen outside to the car.

Sandy stretched out in the backseat and slept all the way to the ranch, snoring a little. I curled up beside Kellen and rested my head on his leg. Even though we didn't talk, I stayed awake to keep him company.

When we pulled into the yard in front of Sandy's trailer, Liam was standing on the porch, drinking a beer. Kellen got out of the car and folded the seat up so Sandy could get out of the back. Liam came down the stairs, his eyes red. If you could see into him, see what he was, his eyes would always be red. The sun was coming up when he walked across the driveway and grabbed Sandy by the arm.

“What the fuck is going on? Where you been?”

“I got into this whole dust up down by Garringer. Me and Wavy went out to the drags, I got in a fight, and a Belton County deputy gave me a rash of shit about Wavy being out so late. He wanted her folks to come get her.” Kellen was talking fast, so I knew he was nervous. I scooted across the seat and swung my legs out of the car. So he wouldn't be alone.

“And what the fuck was Sandy doing out at the drags?”

“I didn't go, Liam. I went to get Wavy,” she said in a soft, don't-hurt-me voice.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Well, Val couldn't go. You know, she couldn't go. So I went, to get Wavy. I just told them I was Val and—”

“Oh, I see,” Liam said. “You went and pretended to be her mama?”

“Yeah, I—”

“You went and pretended to be Val? My
wife
?”

Sandy was wringing her hands, not like Mama, who always stood up tall when Liam was getting ready to hit her.

“It was just to get Wavy. Not for—”

Pow! Liam smacked her right in the mouth. Kellen could be fast when he wanted. He yanked Liam back from Sandy so hard the beer bottle flew out of Liam's hand and landed in the gravel.

“You wanna hit somebody, you hit me. It's my fault. Sandy didn't do nothing wrong,” Kellen said.

Liam's fist crunched into Kellen's jaw, hard enough to make his head snap back.

“I don't like people sneaking around behind my back,” Liam said. “You know that, Sandy.”

“We weren't sneaking,” she whispered.

“It wasn't sneaking.” Kellen had his mouth clenched up like his jaw hurt. “I didn't see no reason to wake you up. Sandy was up anyway, so—”

“And what were you doing up?” That was all Liam cared about, where Sandy was.

“I can't sleep when you're not here,” she said.

“I was just next door. You know that.”

“Well, we didn't wanna wake you,” Kellen said. “Sandy said she'd go. And the cops were fine. They didn't hassle her. Anyway, I'm sorry. The cops were just—”

“Fucking pigs. What business is it of theirs? Like they got any business telling me what to do.”

“I know.” Kellen finally put his hand up to his jaw.

“You took this out to the drags? I didn't know you had it finished yet,” Liam said. He leaned down to look at the polish on the Barracuda's hood.

“I finished it yesterday. That's why we took it out.”

“How'd it do?”

“It's goddamn fast,” Kellen said. He knew how to make Liam look the other direction. “I think it'll beat just about everything out there. Well, not one of them big-block Corvettes, but damn near anything else. We smoked a ricer, which is how I got in a fight.”

Liam laughed and looked down at his empty hand. He reached over and slapped Sandy on the leg. “Go on in the house, baby, and get me and Kellen a beer.”

“Okay.” She hurried up the steps and slipped inside.

“How fast?” Liam said.

“I hit one-oh-five in the quarter-mile. Think she'd do one-forty out on the flats.”

Sandy came back with the beers, already open. Kellen took his and drank.

“We should take it out,” Liam said.

“Yeah, there's some money to be made. Plenty of guys with newer cars think they can take an old beast like this.”

I touched Kellen's leg and he shifted the beer to his other hand. When he lowered his hand to his side, I slipped mine into it.

“You gotta stay outta trouble, Kellen. I got work for you to do. Can't be having the pigs hassling you on bullshit charges,” Liam said.

“No, you're right.”

For a few minutes, they were quiet, drinking their beers.

“Well,” Kellen said. “It's late. I guess I better take Wavy on up to bed.”

“Stay outta trouble.”

“I will.”

I scooted back in the car and Kellen got behind the wheel, with the beer bottle between his legs. At the farmhouse, he didn't turn the engine off, and he was quiet, worrying. I turned around in the seat, put my arm around his neck and laid my head on his shoulder. He sighed.

After a few minutes, he put his arm around me and kissed my hair again.

“I had fun,” I said.

He laughed.

“You got punched and arrested, and you had fun?”

I nodded, careful not to bump my head against his jaw. He squeezed me tight, almost as tight as I needed. Tight enough to let me know he wasn't too afraid of Liam. Tight enough to tell me I was important to him. A little tighter and I would know I was more important than anything else. That was what I wanted.

 

7

WAVY

March 1982

When Donal and I came home from school, a shining red Corvette was parked in the driveway. Uncle Sean was standing in the front room, smiling and running his hands through his hair. Blond, like Liam's. Mama was dressed and pretty and smiling back at him.

“Do you remember your uncle, baby?” she said.

I remembered him. He came to stay with us after Liam got arrested. Before Mama got arrested. Uncle Sean was loud, like Liam, and sneaky. He had tricks to make you smile when you didn't want to.

To warn Donal to be careful, I pinched him, but he said, “Ow, Wavy, don't,” and went right to Uncle Sean. Laughing with his mouth open, he let Uncle Sean roll him around on the rug and tickle him. Dangerous.

Then Liam came, and he and Uncle Sean slapped each other on the back. Loud thumping slaps that made my shoulders tight. I didn't want to stay there, but I didn't want to leave Donal alone with them. He was still little.

Uncle Sean tried to lift Donal up the same way Kellen did and said, “God, he's big! Are you serious he's only six?”

“He turned six back in January,” Mama said.

“I thought he was born in March.”

“January,” Mama said. “And he's big for his age.”

Liam picked Donal up, too, and said, “He's gonna be a giant.”

“Like Kellen!” Donal shouted. Mama frowned when he said that, but I hoped he was right.

“Let's have dinner,” she said.

She took down Grandma's cookbook and flipped through it. Nothing belongs to you. It didn't matter that Grandma gave the cookbook to me. All Mama had to do was hold it in her hands and it was hers.

“Oh, please, the good meatloaf,” Sean said.

“Yeah, baby,” Liam said.

Donal, too: “Meatloaf!”

“Alright, alright!” It made Mama smile, everyone asking her to feed them.

Uncle Sean went to buy groceries with the list Mama wrote, and he said, “You wanna come with me, Don? Ride in the Corvette?”

I wanted to hug Donal before he left, because what if Uncle Sean didn't bring him back? But he ran out to the car before I could.

They came back laughing and made a mess. Hamburger blood dripped off the counter onto the floor, and Mama and Liam snorted meth off the kitchen table, where it left dust under the metal edge that was so hard to keep clean.

They made so much noise. A broken plate, Liam laughing, Donal squealing. Then Uncle Sean turned on the radio and danced Mama around while the potatoes burned.

“Damn, you're gorgeous. Why don't you leave this chump and run away with me?”

Mama laughed but her eyes looked hot and scary.

“Here, now, are you trying to romance my wife right under my nose?” Liam said.

Uncle Sean laughed and twirled Mama around, while Liam set the table.

“Oh, Liam, put a plate on the table for her anyway,” Mama said. Her eyes were so soft when she looked at me standing in the hallway, but I knew not to trust those eyes.

“I'm not gonna sit here with her watching us eat,” Liam said.

“But your mama made the good meatloaf. You don't want any?” Uncle Sean came toward me with a green olive in his hand, but when I ducked my head, he laughed and popped the olive in his own mouth.

Pulling up chairs to the table, no one else noticed the rumble of the Panhead coming up the drive. They were too busy putting food on their plates: burned mashed potatoes and greasy meatloaf, because Mama forgot to put bread in the bottom of the pan.

“Damn, did you smell the meatloaf from down the hill?” Liam said, when Kellen walked in. “This son of a bitch can eat, in case you couldn't tell.”

Uncle Sean laughed and stood up to shake hands. “Come on, pull up a chair.”

“Thanks, but I just came to get Wavy.” Kellen looked at me for a second, not long enough. Liam made me invisible. I needed Kellen to see me.

“Get Wavy for what?” Mama said.

“To go for a ride.”

“Uh-oh, Wavy, Donal's gonna eat your meatloaf if you don't.” Uncle Sean reached out with another green olive stolen from the meatloaf. Donal opened his mouth and took it.

That scared me. What if it wasn't dangerous for Donal to be with Liam and Sean, because he was one of them?

“Don't be ridiculous,” Mama said. “It's dinner time, Kellen, and we've got company. She's staying here to visit with her uncle.”

“Sorry, I didn't know. Maybe tomorrow, Wavy.”

Kellen went out and closed the door. His boots thumped down the porch steps, but I didn't hear his bike start. He was outside waiting for me.

“Make her go up to her room,” Liam said to Mama.

I thought about going after Kellen. The only question was whether to leave Donal. I slipped my fingers between the slats of his chair and pinched him hard in the side.

“Ow!” He turned around and looked at me with confused, almost-crying eyes.

“Wavy, what did you do to your brother?” Mama said.

“Nothing,” Donal said.

He wasn't one of them.

*   *   *

I pressed my ear to the floor in my room, but all I could hear was laughing and talking. Later someone came up the stairs, slow like Kellen, but not as big. Donal.

“Mama says for me to sleep up here so Uncle Sean can have my bed,” he said.

I fell asleep beside Donal and woke up to something that wasn't laughing.

“Yeah, well, I'm your brother, so I think that makes the situation special.”

Was it Liam or Uncle Sean? Through the floor it was hard to tell.

“Is that the whole reason you came here? Put on this big brother act?” Liam.

“Baby, why couldn't we?” Mama.

“Stay the fuck outta this, Val. It's not your money, so shut your trap.”

“It's just a loan. I guess I thought it mattered that I took care of Val after you got arrested,” Sean said.

“Don't throw that in my face,” Liam said.

Then it was all shouting and the sound of things breaking and someone getting hit. I couldn't tell who was who until Mama screamed. Then it was Liam who said, “You fucking whore,” and Mama who said, “Don't. Don't. Please, Liam.”

Deputy Vogel told me to call him if I ever needed something. It's what they taught in school, too. They said the police were there to help you, but I don't think they knew what happened when the police came to your house. Cops ruin everything. They kick in the front door, throw people on the floor and handcuff them. They break things and steal things. They lock you in a patrol car, make you spend all night in the police station wearing your nightgown, and then send you home with strangers. That's why I would never call Deputy Vogel, no matter how much Mama and Liam fought. I'd thrown away the paper with his number as soon as he gave it to me, because I remembered what happened the last time the police came to our house.

Eventually, they stopped fighting and passed out. They always did. After everyone was quiet, I opened the window and looked down at the trellis Kellen climbed up on his birthday. The stair door was locked, and I had the only key, so no one could come upstairs while I was gone. Donal was safe.

The trellis was like climbing down a ladder, and then I was free.

I cut across the fields to the north, to a house I'd never visited. Like Liam's ranch, it wasn't a real farm. No chickens in the yard and only a car in the barn. All the windows were open. I went along, tugging at the bottoms of the screens until I found one where the hook had come loose.