All We Know Is Falling: Fall With Me: Volume One (23 page)

I changed from my gym clothes and into more comfy ones. Then I switched on the TV and hoped to find something mind numbing. When I did, I left it on. After a while, the show started making me feel a little better. The jokes were silly, but I gotta hand it to the Golden Girls. Those ladies were funny.

Mom and Hadley went out to dinner and tried to get me to go. When I said I’d rather stay home, Mom gave me money for pizza and hugged me goodbye.

Then I was left in quiet agony.

The weekend came and went and I wasn’t feeling any better about Hale. I kept waiting for a phone call or for him to show up and say that an alien stole his body and made him say all of those things. But no such luck.

I didn’t tell my family about what happened. I was too embarrassed. So I just decided to start leaving before they could ask why Hale wasn’t here.

Things would get back to normal soon and I’d forget all about the boy I thought I might have feelings for. I’d go back to having my talks with The Sage, and having quiet days at school. And I would be fine.

I would be fine.

I would be fine.

I got to school and started my old life again.



I was terrified to step into History, but I did it anyway. I didn’t look at Hale when I sat down. I just took out my iPod and started working on my project.

Then I lost interest in it. I started doodling instead. Nothing fancy. I sketched Darwin. He was alone in the middle of the bus stop. It was oddly eerie for a sketch.

“Well,” Mr. Dixon said, leaning over to see. “That is…interesting. Why is he so fat?”

I laughed. “Um, I didn’t ask. I imagine he just eats a lot. The man who…owns him, I guess, feeds him seeds.” Hale glanced over but I ignored him.

“Is he real?” the teacher asked.

“Yeah. I see him on the way home from school. He’s always there. Since around New Years. Kinda weird but I tend to not ask questions when it comes to the man who owns him.”

As I talked, I was hyperaware of Hale. Like he was just in my head always.

“Ah. I don’t suppose I could keep that?”

I smiled and tore the page out of my notebook so I could hand it to him. He thanked me and went to check on everyone else.

I set my pen down and scrolled through my music, trying to pick an album that might entertain me. I landed on something that I hoped would work and got back to the project.

There wasn’t much left to do. I worked a lot over the weekend since I had nothing else to do. I still had to construct the boat and all the little people. But I was making them out of paper. I started drawing the little people that I would later color and cut out for my ship.

“Okay,” Mr. Dixon laughed on his next sweep. “What are you doing now, Miss Flynn?”

I looked up at him. “Making the people for the visual.”

“Ah.” He looked to Hale with a frown. “And what are you doing?”

He stared at the table and spoke in an even voice. “Sitting here.”

“And leaving Aurora with all of the work. Well if you don’t help her, I’ll fail you. And you’ll fail the class. If you want to graduate, you better start working.” He left and I started working again.

When I was on the last person, Hale spoke. “What do I have to do?” he sounded annoyed.

I was so surprised that he was talking to me that I almost didn’t respond. But I was still mad at him. So I wasn’t nice. “Nothing. Just sit there.”

He sighed. “Just tell me what to do.”

“Why don’t you go to Hell?” I smiled.

His eyes went to my lips and I wondered briefly if he was still counting. “Wouldn’t want to run into you there.”

I narrowed my eyes at him and spoke flatly. “Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll be on the side with the castles. The rest of you get the other side.”

He shook his head. “You’re a strange girl.”

“And you’re a dick,” I turned back to my work.

I heard him breath out, loudly. “Rory,” his hand went to my back. Right where the ridges were. I knew he felt them and I flinched back.

“Don’t ever touch me again,” I said after I slid away from him. All I could think was, what did he feel. What did he think was wrong with me?

I heard a laugh from behind me. Kenna. Of course. “Aww. Lovers spat?”

I turned to stare her down. “Shut the Hell up before I snap your arm in half.”

She smiled. “I honestly feel so bad for you,” she lied. “I just hate when my Psycho boyfriend and I start fighting. Oh, wait…I’m not stupid enough to start screwing the town Psycho like you are.”

“No,” I returned her smile. “You just screw everyone else.”

She looked unphased. “So has Psycho left you any more dead presents?”

Mr. Dixon came around as she was speaking. “Give it a rest, Kenna. You entertain no one but yourself.”

“That’s the goal,” she said to him.

He rolled his eyes and muttered, “God help the man you marry.”

I snickered. “If she finds someone stupid enough to do that.”

Mr. Dixon covered up his laugh with a cough and went back to his desk.

I wasn’t in the mood for more work, so I packed up early. Class was about to be over anyway. I put my headphones in and when the bell rang, I left the room.

It was strange, eating alone again. I took my seat and I watched—as subtly as I could—as Hale looked around for a place to sit. Because God knows he wasn’t coming here.

“Hale?” I heard a voice call to him. It sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it. When I looked up I found the source. Dottie. “Come sit with me,” she offered. And he did.

They were only three tables down from me and I didn’t even need to use my extra hearing to listen to them. I tried not to, but I couldn’t escape her giggles.

I looked up at them, just for a second. But it was enough to see her put her hand on his. He didn’t move it or flinch. He just kept talking to her. Smiling and laughing with her. Because he wasn’t upset, he wasn’t hurt. That was just me. He was fine and I was broken.

So I stood up with my tray in my hand. When I pushed my chair in I heard Dottie say, “Oh, hey Aurora. You leaving?”

I looked up at her and the smile on her face was nothing less than genuine. But I couldn’t muster up the will to match it. “Yeah. I’ve got stuff to do.”

I left without waiting for her response or glancing at Hale. I grabbed my chocolate milk from my tray before I threw the rest of the food away. I turned and Hale was back to his conversation with Dottie. Another wave of nausea rolled through me. I’ve never been sick a day in my life and if this is what humans go through, I feel bad for them.

I took one last look at Hale and got the Hell out of there. I walked down the halls and avoided looking anywhere but the floor. My safe place.

But nothing felt safe anymore.

The only consolation was that it happened quickly. It wasn’t years down the road. I wasn’t as attached to him as I knew I could be. I could heal from this. The road to recovery would be a bitch though.

That’s what you get for letting someone in. All this did was show me just how right I was before. People only cause pain and it’s never worth it.

The art room was locked, so I was stuck waiting outside until the teacher showed up. I sank to the floor and pulled out a notebook to draw in. I started on a dragon with red fire and a purple body. I wasn’t sure why, I just liked the colors together.

The picture managed to clear my head for a little while but Hale was still in my head. I couldn’t explain how it felt. Other than it felt like I was going crazy. His face was in my mind always and I didn’t know why I couldn’t just make it go away.

Then the bane of my existence entered the hall as if to cement the image. His eyes were on the floor like mine were before. He stopped at the door and jiggled the handle.

Dumbass. I’m not sitting here for my health.

He leaned against the wall and I went back to the picture. It was well past finished but I needed something to do other than stare at Hale. Eventually I came to my senses and put the drawing in my backpack. But then the next problem came up.

I was starving.

My stomach growled and I heard Hale laugh quietly at me. I opened my milk and downed it in two goes. Then I stared at it, almost hoping it would refill itself if I looked at it hard enough.

If I ordered a pizza would they deliver to a school? I bet I could tip them well.

I stood up and pulled my phone out, just to price it…

“Sorry, sorry,” Mrs. Lore said as she shuffled over to us. “I was talking with my husband. That man has a special talent for driving me crazy. He’s lucky I’m so damn in love with him.” She opened the door and we went in.

She turned when I was walking and Mrs. Lore was still ranting. “Just remember,” she pointed to me. “If you love them, it’s worth it. When you’re my age you’ll understand. All men have a tendency to go about things the wrong way. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”

Ha. Tell that to The Devil.

“Well,” I said as I walked backwards to my seat. “Maybe if men were a little smarter and actually thought about their actions, they could save the world a lot of pain.”

She smiled. “Got that right.” Her phone rang again and she picked it up. I sat at my seat next to Hale as she spoke. “Yes, Phil?”

She looked annoyed as he spoke. If I strained, I could hear him. But it was private and I didn’t want to do that.

“Well you could have said it in a gentler way, sweetie,” she said to her husband. “I understand your motives but you chose the absolute worst way to do it.” She pauses while he spoke. “Maybe calling me insane was where you went wrong,” she said with angry eyes. “Still, it was a poor way to get me out of the house this morning. You could have just tricked me. Or made something up. I would have taken the hint and you could have planned the party in peace.” She smiled. “I love you. Of course I love you, dummy. After all, you were willing to risk your bed privileges just to throw me a birthday party.” She laughed. “No, you don’t have to sleep in the tub. But class is about to start and I need to go. The kids don’t need to hear about this.” She hung up and I was left staring at my table.

The kids started coming in and the teacher told us to sketch how we were feeling today. A lame assignment but easy enough. I took out a blank sheet of paper and started drawing a big ball of knots.

I finished quickly and tossed the paper onto the table and sunk into my chair. I stared up at the ceiling and tried to do the math on just how many more seconds were in this class.

“Well this is lovely,” Mrs. Lore said when she picked up the picture. “I can so clearly see the pain in this.”

“Can you?” I said flatly.

“Oh, yes I can,” she didn’t pick up on my sarcasm. “I see new pain mixing with old pain.”

I sat up. “All I am is old pain.”

She looked troubled as she put the picture down. “Hale, what are you working on?”

He turned his paper over and all it was, was a piece of paper colored all black. He was almost done with it.

“Oh,” Mrs. Lore grimaced. “And why is that what you’re feeling.”

I bet I could wager a guess. It represents his lack of a soul.

“Nothing. It means absolutely nothing.”

So I wasn’t off.

Mrs. Lore frowned at him. “Why, dear, would you be feeling nothing? Especially when you’ve got the lovely, if not a little…strange, Aurora. Young love should have you feeling something more than nothing at all. Don’t you think?”

“I don’t love her,” Hale said, cold. I knew it was true but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Well then…” Mrs. Lore said. “I see you two are having a fight. Shame, I liked the two of you together. He brought a little color to your art, Aurora.”

When she started walking away I said, “We were never together.”

Even though for a few minutes I thought we were. The second he made it clear that he was going to kiss me, I thought that was it. And it would have been for me. I would have given in, because he made me feel brave enough to face the unknown. As long as he was with me for it.

But that part of me was gone now and I was worse for the experience. I felt like he snuffed out a part of my soul. Smothered it before I could even fight back.

Once class ended I stood up to leave. Hale’s face was miserable and I tried not to care about why. I just left for my next class. I changed and put my stuff away in my new locker.

What happened was over but part of it still remained. The blood had stained the tile a little and apparently it wasn’t coming out. I could still smell traces of it and ever time one of the girls saw the stain, I knew they thought about me. Maybe that was the goal of whoever did it.