Alluring Turmoil (5 page)

Bradi and Micah follow us out wordlessly.

I stay silent, staring out of the window the entire way back to the house Erik and I share.

Erik pulls into the driveway and turns off the car. Still staring straight ahead, thrumming his fingers on the steering wheel, he asks, “What are you going to do, Lex? I can’t watch you go through this again. The first time almost broke you. Hell it
did
break you! I don‘t want that for you again. Please don’t let him back in.”

I lift my head and say softly, “I don’t know, E. I don’t know. I didn’t think it would still feel like this. It’s been over eight years. When am I going to get over this? When am I going to get over him?”

Sighing, he opens the door. “I don’t have the answers, love. I wish I did. Come on, let’s get inside.”

“Yes. Let’s get inside. I need a bath. Hopefully I can wash some of this bullshit off. I’m sorry I ruined your night, E. Thank you for always being there to catch me. I love you!”

Erik opens the door and pulls me out. “You didn’t ruin my night. I had a good time and I got his number.” He smiles. “Besides, of course I’ll always be there for you. It’s you and me, love. You and me against the world, right?”

Smiling, I say, “You and me against the world.”

Jude

What the fuck just happened? No, seriously? WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!

I get outside of Bruno’s with the handsy brunette and swat her ass as I walk towards my bike. She stands there awhile just looking at me. I get on the bike and rev the engine.

“You’re not coming home with me, are you?”

“No. I’m not. But thanks for that,” I acknowledge, as I jerk my thumb back towards the bar. Then I touch my lip where
she
hit me. Lexi. Punched… Me… In the face. And she screamed that she hated me. The look in her eyes when she said it tells me she meant it. I shake my head and stare at the brunette.

“It’s cool. No worries, babe. But can I give you some advice?” she says as she leans back on her heels and looks right into my eyes.

“Seems like you’re going to anyway, so shoot.” I straddle the bike and grab the handlebars with white knuckles.

Smiling sadly, with something like remorse in her eyes, she says, “Look, I don’t know what the hell that was in there,” she motions back towards the bar, “but I saw the way you two stared at each other in the coffee shop, and I could practically
see
the sexual tension just now. I don’t know what happened in the past with you two, but it’s obvious something serious did. And I can tell you another thing… That woman does
not
hate you. She might wish she did, but she does
not
hate you. Whatever happened, fix it. You’ll never get over it. You’ll never move on. Trust me, I know.”

“And what makes you such an expert, sexy lady?”

“Because I had my own Jude Delecroix once. And I’ve never gotten over him either.” With that statement, she turns on her heel and walks into the night.

Well
fuck me
… this night has just gone from completely whack to off-the-charts insane.

I gun the engine and whisper, “What if it’s so broken it can’t be fixed?” Then, I take off into the muggy Baton Rouge night with too many thoughts running around in my head, and too many questions about why I really returned home.

Lexi

L
ying back in the tub, with my head resting on a rolled up towel and a washcloth over my eyes, I listen to the soothing sounds of Michael Bublé, and try to get my muscles to relax.

My cell buzzes on the shelf above me with a new text.

“Bradi

Checking on you chick. That was wicked intense tonight. Holy shit!

I am so sorry for what I said to Jude. I’m mortified and I love you so much.

Please don’t be mad.

Call me. I’m here for you and I want you to be ok. Because tonight, you with Jude, fucking hell Lexi, I don’t know that girl.

You HIT him!

I’ve never seen you that way. It scared me.

I love you!!!”

I put the phone down, lay my head back, and rub my temples. My head is pounding and not from the alcohol. I’m just lost… lost in my head… lost in the memories… lost in the hurt and anger I still feel.

I should not still be this affected by him. I was doing so well. I was moving on. I have a life, a
good
life, and I cannot let myself go back to that person I was when he left. I
won’t
let myself go back there. I’m stronger than that.

And Bradi is right; I’m not that girl anymore. She doesn’t know that girl. And I don’t want her to. I don’t want anyone to.

I pick up my phone to text her back.

“Lexi

I’m ok. Well not really. But it is what it is.

I’m not mad at you.

I’m sorry I scared you.

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Jude.

I’m so sorry about a lot of things, but you’re right you don’t know that girl.

I am NOT that girl. I don’t know why, but Jude makes me crazy.

But I’ll be ok.

I’m not going back to that girl.

I love you too.

So much.

Call you tomorrow.”

Laying my head down again, I close my eyes. Today was unexpected, I can be honest with myself. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Jude is back. He’s here. He’s home. What am I going to do?

As I slowly start to allow Michael Bublé and the warm, soothing bubbles to relax me, I realize… I’m not over him. I’m still in love with Jude Delecroix and I have no idea what to do about it.

Jude

As I’m driving aimlessly down the Louisiana back roads, I find myself pulling into a familiar spot.

Why did I come here? I started out with no destination in mind. I just wanted to drive, to feel the wind rush past me and the open road underneath me. So, why am I here? Why
here
? Why this particular spot?

Was the brunette right? Does Lexi still have feelings for me?

I thought I was over her. I thought this trip home was to show myself that I
am
over her and she no longer has a hold over me. The point was to walk up to her and show her that I didn’t need her… that I made it… without her… that I am someone… that this ‘small town’ and the ‘small town girl’ who were once my world no longer mattered. Yes, that was the plan. Eight years is long enough to move on. Too bad my bullshitting myself was just that… complete and total bullshit.

The moment I saw her, I was no longer Jude Delecroix, lead singer of Bayou Stix, and one of the most famous rockers in the world, ‘the’ Jude Delecroix, that everyone wanted or wanted to be. I wasn’t the millionaire with four houses, six cars, and groupies in every town.

No. The moment I saw her, I was just me. I was just the boy Alexia Sloane promised to love forever, and the boy who made her his world. I would have given her anything, would have given up everything just to keep her happy… just to have her stay mine. The boy she walked away from and never looked back…

I look to the stars, the same stars I once looked at with her. Behind the levee, next to the slow moving Mississippi River, beneath the oak tree that was once
our
spot and I roar at the heavens. Then I drop to my knees and grab my forehead as the memories start to pour into my head.

Lexi

10 years ago

Today is the day. I know it. I can feel it. Today is the day I will finally tell Jude how I feel.

It’s my sixteenth birthday, and also the Fourth of July. Yay me, I can’t even get my own day to celebrate, but at least every year we have fireworks.

I’ve been planning all day what I’ll wear to the celebration on the levee. A bunch of us are meeting up and Erik is coming over to help me get ready.

But tonight, tonight is the night I will finally get what I’ve wanted my whole life. I can feel it.

Jude Delecroix. He’s my best friend. He’s tall and skinny, with lean muscles, but he makes my heart beat so fast. We’ve been friends since we were kids. I don’t remember a time when it wasn’t Erik, Jude, and me. We’re inseparable. Everything we do is together. It’s been that way as long as I can remember. The ‘Three Musketeers’, that’s us.

Jude has been dating Michelle off and on for a few years now. I hate her. She’s so snotty and just a real bitch. She treats Jude like shit and thinks she’s so much better than everyone else. She’s skinny and pretty, but her personality is just vapid. She’s so toxic it makes her ugly. But no matter what Erik and I say, she always manages to wrap her claws back around Jude.

But not this time. I talked to Jude last night; Michelle cheated on him,
again
. And this time with a total loser. He broke up with her and this time, this time he swears he’s done.

Tonight is my chance. It’s past time I get my guy. It’s my birthday, my night, and my chance… and I’m taking it.

I hear a knock on my bedroom door and Erik sticks his head in. He hands me a pink fluffy teddy bear and a dozen pink Gerber daisies, my favorite.

Sweeping me off my feet he spins me around presses kisses to my head and tells me, “Happy Birthday!”

Erik is seventeen, the same as Jude, but where Jude is long and slender, and tight, Erik is six feet of solid, thick muscle. It simply isn’t right that a seventeen year old boy can have a body like that. Lots of girls watch him (hell, even me) but they can watch all they want. He never even notices them. As beautiful as he is with that body and that wavy brown hair and smoky blue eyes, he’s not into girls. He’s a beautiful Adonis with a heart of gold, and some guy will sure be lucky someday.

He sets me on my feet after making me dizzy from the spinning with a huge perfect smile. “Are you ready, love? Tonight is the night, right? Let’s get you looking gorgeous! Jude won’t know what hit him. Although, how he’s left you alone until now is a mystery to me!”

I blush and tuck my chin down against my very ample chest. “Yes, tonight
is
my night. Jude is going to finally be mine!”