Almost a Cowboy (34 page)

“I can’t.” Her editor had always had backbone, which Caroline had admired until now.

Through her clenched jaw, she said, “You had no business in my cloud storage. No business taking my personal writings.”

A sigh. “Look, I know you’re upset, and you probably have that vein throbbing in your temple you get when you’re battling to get your point across. But I’m sorry. There’s no way to get the story back.”

“You breached my trust.”

A beat of silence, and then, “I got a great story from an amazing writer, and the public is going to love it.”

Fingers and face tingling, Caroline’s despair engulfed her. The Davies’s story would be splashed all over, and there was nothing she could do about it. Except crawl in a hole and hide from Utah’s wrath.

“I’m going to look for a new job.” Caroline ended the call.

•●•

The reading of the will was going on. Right now, all the Davies children would be gathered. Where? In the living room or the dining room? Caroline’s journalistic mind wanted details.

I could show up there. Utah wouldn’t mind.

Except he hadn’t seen her article yet. The one about his father’s secret families dotting the United States. Every damn word she’d written had been inked on page two.

Caroline knew what would happen. The media would get hold of the tale, and pretty soon Aurora and Bennett would be on the morning show. Hays would sell out to the tabloids.

God, Utah was going to hate her.

She eyed her cell phone lying beside her laptop. She should explain to him before he or someone else saw the paper.

No, a phone call or text wouldn’t do. She needed to tell him in person.

Mind made up, she swiped the folded paper with her article off her desk, grabbed purse and keys, and headed out to her car. The drive up the ridge to the Davies ranch had never seemed so long. Her heart thudded in her throat, and her hands were ice cold with fear.

As soon as the will was read, she’d pull Utah aside and show him the paper. And if he opened his arms to her?

I’ll fall into his embrace.

She missed him with a bone-deep ache. Her nights lasted an eternity. After sleeping mere hours, she’d wake up, damp with need that she couldn’t satisfy on her own. Her sex toys did nothing for her. She needed a cowboy between her legs.

Utah.

She pulled into the driveway. A selection of rental vehicles and a few pickups belonging to Gunnison and Clinton were there. For a long minute, Caroline sat behind the wheel, drinking in the appearance of the ranch.

Utah had been working hard. His efforts showed in gleaming siding, the fixed porch railing, and straight fence posts. A chestnut mare grazed, head down and tail swishing.

Heart pounding in her temples, Caroline got out and went to the front door. Not bothering to knock, she entered.

The entire family was gathered in the front room. At her appearance, Tom Berger stopped speaking. Too many eyes lit upon her.

She flushed three shades before her gaze met Utah’s.

His face was alive in a way she’d never seen it before. Her heart smacked the wall of her chest hard. She surged forward as Utah jumped up.

“Keep talking, Tom. I’m listening.” He reached for Caroline’s hands, and she gave them to him, letting her eyes slip shut as his warm fingers closed around hers. His hands were rougher than ever, revving up her need.

“What this legal jargon states is there are stocks,” Tom went on. “Stocks that will be cashed and sold to provide you each with an inheritance.”

“What kind of stocks?” Clinton asked. His wife sat at his side, pretty and blonde with her head leaning inches from her husband’s.

Caroline wanted that closeness. Utah spun an arm around her waist and anchored her against him. She relaxed into his hold, for the moment ignoring her reason for coming here.

“Oil and gas.” Tom’s statement fell like an alien ship in the middle of the room. No one seemed to breathe.

“Worth how much?” Gunnison asked.

“Well,” Tom shuffled a few papers, “your father sold them now and then when times were lean, so we’re down a few. But I believe you’re looking at approximately two million dollars each—”

The room erupted.

“Two million!”

“Oh my God.”

“Hot damn!”

“This is dependent on selling prices, folks. And there’s one exception.”

“What’s that?” Utah asked.

Tom Berger stared at Utah, his face paling slightly. Caroline inched closer to the man she loved, prepared to hold him up if he received bad news.

“One of you wasn’t granted stocks in the inheritance.”

“Who?” Utah’s voice was gritty.

Tom looked ready to bolt. “You.”

“What?” Utah’s roar echoed off the walls where Hollis had lived a lifetime of lies. He jerked away from Caroline and stomped across the room. Snatching the papers from Tom, he read.

No one spoke, but the brothers and sisters looked at each other, worry on their faces. Deirdre met Caroline’s gaze, and Caroline gave a small nod of greeting. After this mess was sorted out, it seemed she’d have some time to speak with the people she’d connected with on their journey.

With a jolt, she realized she already felt as if this was her extended family.

Utah stabbed a finger into the paper. “What does this mean? This clause?”

“It means you get the ranch, Utah. Every square inch of it, and all it holds.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? That asshole left everyone else two million bucks, and I get a rundown sinking ship I can’t even afford to buy a tractor to upkeep?” He threw the papers, and they fluttered to the floor like dying doves.

Utah spun and stormed into the kitchen, hands in his hair, the lines of his back stiff. Clinton got up and followed, and Caroline rushed after them.

“We’ll share, Utah. Alyssa and I don’t need all that,” Clinton said as he hit the kitchen.

Utah whirled. “I don’t want your money! Jeezus, you have kids. You might need it. Give them college and ponies and cars when they’re sixteen. I won’t have a family, anyway.”

A lump jumped into Caroline’s throat. Without her, she knew he wouldn’t. Utah would remain a bachelor for the rest of his life.

A vein ticked in Utah’s throat. “I just wanna know why, goddammit. I want to know why the bastard did this to us, and why I’m being punished.” He slammed a cupboard door shut with such force, it bounced open. A crack appeared along the hinge.

Clinton shot Caroline a look. She stepped up to Utah and placed a palm on his chest. Looking up into his face, she tried to think of things to say that would ease him. But the fact was, she planned to ruin his life a little more by telling him about the article.

“I’m sure Pa had a good reason. We just don’t see it right now.”

“Just like he had a good reason for sleeping with all those women—and men?” At that, Clinton’s face rippled with shock. Utah went on. “We’ll never even know if he loved them or if there are more kids out there with blue eyes and damn dimples in their chins!” He grabbed the open cupboard door and ripped it from the hinges.

“Calm down, bro. You have a lot of equity in the ranch if you wanna sell—”

Utah glared at his brother. “I do not want to sell. I’m not going back to the mountains. I ran long enough. It’s a miracle you and Gunnison will even speak to me after I hid for a decade. And Caroline’s lost to me now because of my actions.”

Words jumped onto her tongue. “That’s not true. That’s not why.”

He leveled his gaze on her. The look seared straight from her belly to her pussy. “Then tell me why. If I had you, baby, I’d settle for Pa leaving me a can of soup. I don’t really give a shit about money. You all know that. But dammit, I’ll never make sense of Hollis or…you.”

Caroline glanced at Clinton. “Give me a few minutes alone please.”

He nodded and went out. In the living room, people murmured.

Left alone with Utah, her stomach fluttered. All she really had to do was step into his arms, and everything would be healed. But he didn’t know her, and she couldn’t lose herself by belonging to someone again.

As they gazed into each other’s eyes, one thought whirled in her brain.
I belong to him, anyway. I might as well jump head first.

“I’m sorry you’re disappointed with the will.”

He slashed the air with a hand. “I don’t give a damn about that right now. I want to know why you’re refusing me. Don’t you love me?”

Tears burned in her eyes. She held them open wide to keep the drops from falling. “I always will.”

“But that was old love? You can’t love me now?” The chin cleft flashed, making her crazed with desire.

“No, it’s me that’s unlovable. Utah, I’m different. After my marriage fell apart, I swore I wouldn’t go back to being someone’s wife.”

His eyes burned. “I’m not just someone, goddammit.”

One tear fell, then two. She caught them with shaking fingers. “No, you’re not. But you don’t want me, Utah.”

“I fucking do. With every bone in my body.” He growled, raising the hair on her forearms.

She sucked in a deep breath. It was now or never. “You won’t want me after you see this.”

She raised the newspaper she still held wadded in one fist. When she turned and walked to the small kitchen table, she felt his stare on her back. As she spread the paper out and opened to page two, she waited.

His footsteps were heavy. She didn’t look at that horrid black news type. Instead, she watched his face.

It crumpled.

His voice was a ragged whisper. “You sold me out? Sold my family out?”

She burst into tears. “I’m so sorry, Utah. I didn’t do it. My editor pulled the story from my Internet storage, and she put it to press before I realized it.”

He glared at her, mouth set, a muscle jumping in his jaw.

“Please forgive me,” she whispered.

“Maybe you’re right. I don’t know you.” His flat tone scared the hell out of her.

She grabbed his arm. “Please. I didn’t do this on purpose!”

“But you did write that story.” He cast a disgusted look at the paper.

Nodding, she tried to explain. “It’s a story that needed told. For your record, for your family’s. Your children.”

“There aren’t gonna be any goddamn children from me, Caroline. Take your paper and get out.” His words rang with finality.

A gate crashed down in her heart, smashing it beneath the weight. He was turning her away, just as she’d feared. Horror etched itself on her features, and she swiped a hand over her face to dash it away. No words were possible. She clamped her mouth shut against her sobs, grabbed the paper, and rushed out.

When she hit the main road, she rolled down her window and tossed the story out. The wind caught it and sent it spiraling up, up. Then it plummeted down into a ravine where it belonged.

The party atmosphere on the ranch felt oppressive after Caroline’s revelation. Utah sat on a chair in the corner of the porch, whiskey bottle in hand, untouched. He stared over the lawn where his siblings were talking, eating, and drinking. Getting to know each other.

Hays had hightailed it out of there right after getting the particulars about collecting his inheritance. And Benson and his mother had locked away Eden in their rental car and driven like hell down the driveway in a cloud of dust.

Gunnison had put Alexandria on the horse, which she’d named Miss Ruby, and led her around the paddock. From here, Utah could hear the child’s chirping conversation to both her new brother and the animal.

Utah’s mood was low despite the happiness displayed before him. Some nerve Caroline had to write that story—and let it get published. And he personally hoped Hollis was in hell.

For long minutes, he stared at the denim covering his leg. The fibers wove in and out of each other, just like a family. They were all intertwined. Even if they chose not to accept each other like Hays or Benson, they were still part of the group. If one thread wanted to be woven back in, the others would separate to accept him.

When Utah glanced up, Jefferson was standing there.

“You look burdened.”

A huff of laughter that held no humor burst from Utah. “Sit. Have whiskey.” He passed his brother the bottle.